#hq headcanons

[penguinpraise]

And when it comes to bkak one of my fave flavours is enby Akaashi-The Menace-Keiji & their jock bf Bokuto who's a (surprisingly to some) well informed ally✨️😌

People often misunderstand/prejudge Bokuto, thinking he's a complete ass. But really, all they gotta do is just ask~

-

♡ When bkak start dating ♡

Bk: Taking my boyfriend to this cool exhibition they wanted to check out

Kn: Boyfriend?

Kr: I thought Akaashi was nb?

Bk: Yeah

Kr: Right...

Bk: 'Kaashi said they like how gay it sounds when I call them my boyfriend

Kr: Oh... yeah, that sounds right

[peachmilkmomo]

Haikyuu groupchat

Desc: Oikawa's ego is bruised after Kiyoko ignored him.

TW: Suggestive, Matsukawa and Hanamaki being sus, Oikawa's getting bullied, strong language

Also it's inspired by this:

(Seijoh 4🤪🤪)

*Oikawa is typing...*

Oikawa: Guys

Oikawa: Guys

Oikawa: Guys

Oikawa: Guys

Iwa: istg trashykawa one more "guys" and I'm gonna do smth funny to you

Oikawa: Guys

Oikawa: Oh I didn't see Iwa-chan's message☹️

Oikawa: let it slide this time pwetty pwease🥺

Iwa: fuck ew I actually don't wanna come near u

Makki: grown ass man btw

Mattsun: nice time for Oikawa to be zesty

Mattsun: ran out of lemons for my salad

Makki: How are you getting the dressing out of Oikawa tho?

Makki:😏

Makki: ew no I'm not using that shitty emoji again

Mattsun: ayoo🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

Iwa: the implications...

Oikawa: ew stop I feel touched

Oikawa: I meant I feel threatened

Makki: LMAO TOUCHED

Makki: sure buddy that's the method

Oikawa: stop I didn't mean that and you know it

Oikawa: also I was literally trying to say something but okay🙂

Iwa: ofc you're gonna sulk

Makki: then fucking spit it out already instead of spamming us??

Oikawa: y'all mean

Oikawa: alright

Oikawa: y'all remember karasuno's manager?

Oikawa: the very pretty one with the glasses

Iwa: here we fucking go again

Oikawa: she was just shy right? I mean there's no other reason for her to ignore me

Oikawa: I mean to be very shy to the point she can't respond to me

Oikawa: yeah that's it, she must've been very shy, I actually find it endearing when girls are too shy

Oikawa: like they get all flustered because they can't handle my handsomeness and everything

Oikawa: yeah that's about it

Oikawa: it's not like I'm bothered by it or anything, yeah

Oikawa: I've got a bunch of fangirls fawning over me

Oikawa: she must've only been shy or smth

Oikawa: ayt??

Makki: dude are you still butthurt about this??

Iwa: yeah like it's been a month get over it already

Iwa: didn't know your ego was so fragile

Mattsun: what butt lmao

Mattsun: he's so flat I used his ass as a cutting board for my salad

Mattsun: he can't be butthurt when he doesn't have a butt to begin with

Oikawa: 😧😧😧???

Oikawa: ........

Makki: LMAO

Oikawa: aight

Oikawa: just letting you know that you're not that thick either

Mattsun: tf you talking about?? I'm all caked up

Mattsun: I always get confused and think I have an audience bcz my cheeks be clapping every time I walk

Mattsun: feels like winning a Grammy

Mattsun: it adds when the guys from the gay bar nearby whistle at me, bcz yknow whistling and clapping sound like cheering

Makki: YASS GET EM BRO

Makki: you're just jealous 'kawa

Makki: jellykawa

Iwa: Matsukawa talkin about zestiness and all

Iwa: whole time he's a whole ass lemon tree himself

Makki: when life gives you lemons, you gotta squeeze a few and make a lemonade

Makki: 😉

Makki: I srsly needa stop using emojis bcz I sound like Fleece Johnson

Mattsun: 😮😮😮

Mattsun: didn't know you saw me this way bro

Mattsun: I mean everything for the homies and all

Mattsun:

Mattsun: I got socks on so dw

Oikawa: do y'all explore each other's bodies? 🫣

Iwa: y'all need to touch some ass, god

Makki: see? Iwaizumi gets it

Iwa: Grass

Iwa: Grass

Iwa: I meant touch grass

Makki: too late son

Makki: also to answer Oikawa's question, no we don't, we just love to act sus with the homies

Mattsun: yeah right

Mattsun: plus we got protection "socks" on just in case

Mattsun: so it's all good

Oikawa: so when I ironically say "pwetty pwease" it's zesty but when Mattsun literally invites Makki to fondle his cheeks it's only considered as being sus with the homies?

Iwa: Oikawa Tooru just shut tf up

Oikawa: just say that you're a homophobe

Iwa: not really I just deeply despise you

Iwa: the problem is you not your preferences whatsoever

Oikawa:😒

Oikawa: you're actually mean I'm not even joking

Oikawa: never telling y'all anything again

*Oikawa has gone offline*

Makki: that was a bit harsh Iwaizumi

Makki: you didn't have say it like that

Iwa: No let him be he needs to grow thicker skin

Mattsun: maybe thicker cheeks too

Iwa: can we stop talking about asses?

Makki: was you being a homophobe not a joke or?..

Makki: 🤔🤔🤔

Mattsun: 🤨🤨🤨🤨??

Iwa: y'all know what? Maybe you need some beating along with Oikawa

Iwa: I'm punching everyone in the face

*Oikawa is online*

Oikawa: I'm back guys mom baked some real good milkbread🤗🤗

Oikawa: wait what's going on?

Mattsun: chill grandpa

Mattsun: Iwaizumi you're so grumpy

Mattsun: are you 80?

Makki: are you 69?

Oikawa:.....

Oikawa: 6 7....

Iwa: y'all lame af

Iwa: not funny

Iwa: that's it, I'm doing it

Iwa: I'm punching everyone in the face

Iwa: what spending too much time with Trashykawa does to man

Oikawa: HUH?

Oikawa: why is it only MY fault??

Makki: dw dude Mattsun's ass can protect us

Makki: it'll absorb the Impact

Mattsun: that's right kittens, hide behind me I'm shielding you both with my life "cheeks" 😘😘

Oikawa: no tf it won't 😒😒

Mattsun: jealous much?

Mattsun: I can literally find a job at an airbag factory

Mattsun: Your bony ass gon be perfect for anatomy classes lmao

Mattsun: no need for autopsy you just strip and we can see every single bone and joint of yours

Mattsun: you can find a job as a skeleton at a science lab or smth lmao

Mattsun: maybe that's the reason the manager from Karasuno ignored you

Mattsun: no one wants a walking skeleton, sorry dude

Oikawa: EXCUSE ME?

Oikawa: every girl in the school literally wants me

Oikawa: I have a fanclub and you all are single😘

Oikawa: I'm just great like that

Iwa: and you're not single ?

Makki: Imagine having a whole fanclub yet you're still single, ignored even

Mattsun:💀💀

Makki: The skeletons are him lmao

Oikawa: at least I didn't have to resort to being fruity with my homie bcz I'm so lonely

Makki:😮

Makki: Mattsun invited me to "fondle his cheeks" bcz I'm loved yknow?

Makki: you gotta wrap your ass in foil and store it in the freezer bcz no one's going to eat it any soon

Makki: I'm sorry there's no leftover to wrap

Makki: get it?

Makki: cause he's FLAT🤣🤣🤣🤣

Makki: ayt?

Mattsun: 💀💀

Iwa: foul

Oikawa:.....

*Oikawa has blocked Hanamaki*

*Oikawa has blocked Matsukawa*

*Oikawa has blocked Iwaizumi*

Iwazumi: maybe we did take it too far?

Iwazumi: that's body shaming actually if you think about it

Mattsun: nahh he needs to grow thicker skin just like you said

Makki: thicker cheeks too

Mattsun: yeah that too

Iwazumi: right

[bubbletealife]

honestly everyone hear me out on goshiki and kunimi beef. like theyll be those two friends who act like the otehr i the most repulsing thing in the world but they both actually dont mind the existence of the other person. theyll exaggerate facts all the tiem but lowkey? if it came down to it yes they would seek each other in a crowd.

also theyre both the two characters who i look at like "how the hell are you above 6 feet im TERRIFIED"

[peachmilkmomo]

HAIKYUU EMBARRASSING SITUATIONS: EPISODE 1

Atsumu was weeping in the locker room while Suna and Osamu were almost out of oxygen and on the verge of throwing up due to laughing so hard.

Appearntly, Atsumu had a massive tear in his shorts, he ripped them while practicing and the guys kept quiet about it because they wanted to see how long it'll take him to finally notice, he didn't .

And they kinda forgot about it, till they saw him wandering outside the gym, students eyeing atsumu's bum as if it was one of the ancients wonders of the world, and his arrogant ass thought people were admiring him so he just kept his nose in the air while walking around, thinking people were admiring his "massive aura and charismatic presence topped with a lethal face card" as he likes to call himself.

Osamu kept quiet bacuse atsumu was being a jerk to him earlier and he wanted to see him get humbled, while Suna wouldn't let this go without documenting it for blackmailing later.

Atsumu kept wandering, talked to friends/fans, bent down several times flashing everyone, and even had the audacity to say "I know, hun" when some shy girl tried to warn him indirectly that "there's something about him that's attracting everyone's attention"

But the absolutely worst part was when he tried to impress the beautiful and popular senior who just kept making snarky comments about him along with her friends and laughing, and he believed that he's "earning the favor of the ladies".

Only 1 hour of socializing later that he finally went back to the locker room to change and realized that it wasn't his charm that attracted attention, but his cheeks hanging out of his shorts and he was on verge of tears, but then Suna and Osamu showing him a whole documentary of his cheeks spotted in the wild was his breaking point. He started crying loudly, blaming them incoherently between violent sobs for letting him go around like this and they almost felt bad for him but it was still hilarious. Kita had to actually intervene later to make them make up, but Atsumu's humiliation didn't really go he just learnt to deal with it.

Also did I mention that he was wearing boxers with his face printed on it that Osamu has gifted him as a joke, and unfortunately they were the only pair available on that day? Yeah not even a statement from the government is going to save him from the sick narcissistic allegations.

author's note: sorry for taking so long to post again, I just got a little busy and I decided to start this mini series to keep y'all entertained til I finish writing part 2 of the mafia AU. Please lmk your opinions and thanks for reading🥺.

[peachmilkmomo]

HAIKYUU MAFIA AU!

Hello guys! So this is my first post, those were some headcanons I wrote randomly in my best friend's chat back in 2021 and I decided to post them now! Obv I know nothing about mafia LMAO so I'm sorry if anything doesn't make sense. Hope you enjoy them!

Disclaimer: I don't own the art or any of the characters. ctto.

Great leadership skills, smart and cunning, knows how to keep his underlings under control, I can only see him as the perfect boss out of all other captains.

THE BOSS: kuroo.

CYBER SECURITY: kenma.

He's the hacker of the gang. Need to crack a code? He's handling it. Someone's trying to hack their system? Then they have brought this upon themselves. Need to access another gang's devices? A piece of cake for him.

As long as kenma is there, there's no worry of any cyber attacks bcz he's this reliable.

SPIES: so there are 3 groups of them.

(Yamaguchi, Kunimi, Konoha) Idk but I can imagine them being sneaky, easily sneaking in and out of any place, taking what they need without leaving a trace.

(Kiyoko, Saeko) They mostly handle old geezer gang bosses, they know how to use their beauty to make any guy lose his mind and give them any info they need without resorting to violence.

(Terushima, Atsumu) The male version of Kiyoko and Saeko, they know how to use their charm to get what they want from the ladies.

(Atsumu is smart but he's still a bit goofy and I can't help but feel like he may accidentally blow his cover if he doesn't lock in lmao)

PHYSICAL COMBAT: Daichi, Iwaizumi, Ushijima, Bokuto.

They're big, height or physique wise, and while iwaizumi may not be the tallest, he's surely strong enough. All of them in general can handle a close-range combat like it's nothing, I mean look at them, they can tackle anyone like they weight nothing. Basically beefcakes.

BACKUP FIGHTERS: Aone, Kyotani, Tanaka, Taketora.

First group wasn't enough? We have our backup group. Aone is built like a whole dam. The other 3 guys are just feral, they'll chew up anyone who gets in their way.

OBSERVING AND COLLECTING INFO: Tsukishima, Ennoshita, Asahi.

They're smart, observant, and can work fast. All they have to do is to observe their enemies in normal situations in order to collect the info they need, either for blackmailing or just to know the next moves of their enemies then they report it to the others. And they prefer this role because they don't have to clash with enemy gang members.

Author note: I actually have more but I figured that it's better to keep posts short. If y'all end up liking it I'll post part 2! Reposts and comments would be appreciated, and thanks for reading!

[andie-platonically]

my biggest hq headcanon based on nothing is that hinata is secretly a huge musical theatre girly. i think he’d like to listen to showtunes on his bike rides and stuff because he doesnt have the attention span for podcasts / audiobooks, but for longer distances, he would enjoy something with more of a storyline to keep him occupied.

his teammates know nothing about it until he thinks he’s alone and belts out christines parts of phantom of the opera in the shower. bokuto joins in, atsumu is in shambles, sakusa is staring at the wall in a state of existential dread

[clowndegree]

Do we still fuck with smoker!Suna or nah cause I’m about to drop the best 2020 oneshot ever

[moikawakiri]

Why have I not seen anything about kageyama doing your nails for you? That’s so cute?? I’ve never seen anyone talk about that