Discover Top Posts Tagged with #kevbert au

Apr 7

what if robert was a drag queen during his lost years, and instead of trying to make it in lawrence's business, he met kev?

here's me, @eloquentmydear and @kevrobron discussing that idea for 2.8k words

(first inspired by a french romcom where a guy falls in love for someone doing drag, and then i was reminded of it by the film Femme (2023) which is roughly the same plot but as a "thriller")

Gab : oh god imagine bad boy kev going to a bar with mates and robert's doing a show there

it's the classic chav falling for drag queen

but unlike the couple of chav falls for drag queen films that came out recently: kev isn't super homophobic, he's like respectful, he just doesn't think he's gay so he's being really nice and friendly and just appreciative of this guy's art

like yes he's gorgeous in drag, but it's just 'cause he's really good at it

no what do you mean i don't find the other drag as good it's just 'cause this guy's mega

Collette : Yes he's still gorgeous out of drag but it's just he has a feminine face right

Gab : and he looks breedable- what? who said that

Collette : God Kev's confusing erection from Robert in drag lmao

IT'S BECAUSE HE'S BEING 'A WOMAN' OK IT'S NOT GAY

Gab : getting robert a drink because he's being nice and friendly

and robert is like yes he looks nice i'll have him as dessert

Collette : Robert not realising that Kev isn't just a hyper-masc/biker gay until something Kev says tips him off

And Robert is like. Oh well he still wants to fuck me. Because he's had straight guys fuck him in drag before

Gab : what if robert doesn't lean in for the kiss that same night because kev just doesn't let it happen, he's just very nice and getting him drinks and complimenting him and all, and robert goes from this wants to fuck to ??? what is the deal there, there is something, but they part, not exchanging numbers (that'd be gay!). but kev comes back. and comes back. and comes back. they do exchange numbers down the line 'cause they click. it's not gay, it's friendly. in kev's head. for robert tho, it's a challenge. he will fuck that guy. well... he will be fucked by that guy within the year. so they meet up and robert tries a lot of things, fems it up even, flirts with other men in front of him, has kev meet him after shows and be escorted by him to another gig he has, and he gauges kev's reaction when he lets people believe they're together and kev is fine with it. so even if he's not very responsive to robert's flirting, when kev talks about that martial art thing, robert thinks he's got that one window of opportunity and he snatches it up

and turns out kev's passion for martial art is really cute. so he does genuinely giggle during it. both because kev is cute but also at the lengths he's had to go to make it happen

Collette : Robert like "why don't you come back to my place?" After he's finished a gig and Kev just comes over and hangs out sifjekdj

Gab : compliments him on the deco, the wig collection, etc. and robert is expecting something like "of course gay men know how to decorate" but no, kev is just appreciative of the place

Collette : Robert just waiting for Kev to be the one who initiates the whole first night because he figures he's going to

And then he just. Doesn't

Robert in this universe being the kind of queen who has like. Softcore gay erotic photography canvases around his house lol

Phallic sculptures

Tasteful gay art

Gab : kev running a finger along some of them, just oh wow what a color, the size of this

slightly awkward of course, not specifically turned on either, but not scared/intimidated by them either?

intimidated by the world itself that he knows nothing about but not scared by the gayness of it

Collette : Robert showing Kev his bedroom (he's not very subtly hinting) and there's just a fucking large dildo on the bedside table he's like oopsie 🥺

Gab : Wait a minute.

What if Robert just won't let himself have feelings for kev. Because some underlying internalized biphobia ('cause he is bi)/homophobia + kev has starting giving him gifts. Expensive ones. So instead of just chucking him once he's succeeded at his challenge, he keeps him. He tells himself it's for the gifts of course.

But then Kev does something that is a bit too couple-y, too romantic. That isn't just fucking around and being used. And Robert realises he has caught feelings. And he can't have that. So he goes out with kev at a regular straight club and flirts with women, kisses one as he dances in front of kev.

Kev is doing the gift thing 'cause Robert showed him everything he got as gifts from men who just wanted one night with him, and well, he does love pretty things after all. And kev is jealous, so he takes up stealing and robbing again to get the money to give Robert nice things.

Jo : my contribution for drag queen rob au: Rob that first night wanting it to be a ons but Kev being so awkward and sweet the whole time Rob doesn't even spell it out even tho he normally would. Cause "straight" guys fuck him all the time and he doesn't really care what they call it as long as its good. But Kev is not like... offending him or trying to pretend he isn't a guy in drag. he's just sweet and awkward and buying him drinks and having an actual convo. So Rob lets him be nice to him that first night and get him all the drinks and he tells himself he's still "using kev" because of all the drinks. but the more kev comes back to watch him the more Rob is like... annoyed he isn't making a move. That he isn't either trying to fuck him while he's in drag or while he's out of drag. he's just being nice to Robert. And rob can SEE Kev finds him attractive but he's still so nice to him??????

Collette : I was thinking of a drag AU concept where like. Kev has been coming to see Robert's performances for quite a few weeks, and they talk for hours in the bar afterwards every time, and he starts bringing him flowers when he's doing shows. And Robert is flirting so hard and Kev is responding to it but not making a move. And then Robert finally cracks and makes the first move, and so they've had sex a couple of times. Robert has sucked him off twice but both times he was still in drag. And Kev has fucked him twice, but the first time Robert was still in his wig and most of his drag just naked from the waist down, and Kev fucked him from behind. And the second time Robert rode him, but he was also still in full drag he just took his underwear off under his dress. And both times Robert prepped himself just for the sake of speed, and Kev didn't touch his cock because Robert already came untouched.

So Kev hasn't actually even seen Robert fully out of drag, because they only hang out immediately after Robert's shows.

So one weekend after they've finally exchanged numbers, Kev texts and asks if Robert has a gig on. And Robert is like no, but I'd like to see you anyway. Because he really likes him and enjoys his company. And he invites him over to his place.

And Robert answers the door and of course he's not in drag. He's dressed up a little sexy for Kev but nothing crazy.

And Kev visibly kind of startles, and Robert just thinks it's cute at first.

And they're sitting on the sofa chatting and everything is going fine, Robert is flirting as usual. And he leans in and kisses Kev, but Kev kind of freezes instead of responding. Robert pulls away and asks what's wrong, but Kev says nothing's wrong. So Robert leans in again, but he's watching Kev's face this time, and Kev isn't looking at him with lust or want or affection like he usually does when Robert kisses him.

So Robert pulls away again and he feels like he's been punched in the chest because he thinks what he sees on Kev's face is disgust.

And he's like "oh. I get it. I get it now. You only want to fuck me when you can pretend I'm a woman. I actually thought you weren't that kind of bloke, how stupid am I?" And Kev starts panicking and stuttering and trying to explain himself but Robert just tells him to leave, and when he doesn't, Robert raises his voice to tell him to get out. And when Kev leaves, Robert blocks his number.

Robert actually having friends so the next weekend when he's performing again, some of the other queens are asking if "his fella" is coming to see him again when they're in the dressing room and he tries to pretend he doesn't know who they're talking about, and they start making (loving) catty jokes about how he was the bloke always bringing Robert flowers and holding him around the waist in the bar, and buying him drinks, and the bloke they kept catching Robert getting off with round the back, and he starts getting snappy with them and telling them to stop asking, and then they're teasing him about how it must've ended badly if he's reacting like this, and he has to storm off to the bathroom to stop himself from crying too much and ruining his makeup.

But then one of the less bitchy queens comes and knocks on the door and asks if he's okay, and talks to him about it, and he tells them what happened and how it's happened before but he really liked this guy. They try to give him a pep talk about how he'll find someone who deserves him and how he shouldn't shed any more tears for a trashy guy.

And then Robert goes out to perform and midway through his routine he spots Kev in the audience. And he carries on but he's so pissed off when he gets off stage.

And the other queens are like "come on babe we'll get the bouncer to kick him out" but he's like "no, I don't want to give him the satisfaction of a big scene".

And when all the performances are done and the performers all go out to the bar he's hoping Kev will just avoid him, but Kev comes right up to him and tries to pay for his drink, and he's brought flowers again, and he's trying to say sorry, but Robert doesn't want to hear it. Robert abandoning his drink and being like "you know what, I'm done, I'm going home" and Kev literally begging Robert to hear him out for two minutes, so Robert is like "FINE, not here though" and takes Kev through to the dressing rooms so he can at least get out of his makeup and outfit and wig while Kev talks. And they end up talking a lot longer than two minutes.

Kev explaining that he's not really sure who he is yet and he's trying to work it out, and he did freak out and he's sorry for doing that, but he really likes Robert.

And Robert insisting that Kev really likes him as a Queen not him as a person. Kev swearing that it's Robert as a person that he's interested in, and Robert saying that yes maybe he is struggling with who he is and maybe he does like him emotionally but Robert saw how disgusted he was when he tried to kiss him, and he can't be with someone who doesn't want him as himself, because that's who he is the vast majority of the time.

Kev being so upset with himself when he hears that Robert thinks he was disgusted. Telling Robert that it wasn't disgust, it was fear, because he's still instinctively scared of letting himself be with a man, and want a man, but swearing that that is what he wants, that Robert is who he wants.

Robert being completely out of his outfit and makeup and just in his comfy clothes to go home at this point, and Kev coming up to him and holding his face and kissing him to prove his point. Asking if Robert can just be patient with him if he freaks out a little because he's still fighting the internalised shit in his head, but he wants to try so hard for him because he really does like him so much, he's just never let all these walls down about a man before.

Robert understanding because he's been there too, and tearing up, and telling Kev he can be patient with him and he's sorry he hadn't heard him out before now.

Kev kissing him again and holding him tightly, and the nice queen who spoke to him in the bathroom pops in to the dressing room to get something and is like "oh!" and gives Robert a questioning thumbs up, and Robert gives a little smile and nod back.

And then Kev goes home with Robert and cuddles up in bed with him, and insists that - if Robert wants it - he wants to try sucking him off, but he might need a bit of guidance. Robert trying to check that he's sure and he's not trying to move too fast just to reassure Robert, and Kev being like "no, I'm absolutely dying to".

Kev sucking Robert's dick with some direction from him, and it's perfect because it's only small so he's not choking on anything. And he's not been with a man before but he's good at paying attention to and reading his partner's responses, so once he gets the hang of what he's doing, he gets Robert to come without difficulty.

And of course he's self-consciously like "was that okay?" And Robert playfully grins at him like "shut up, you know it was good". But then Robert asks if it was okay for him doing it too, and Kev is like "uh, yeah, it was hot as fuck, getting all those noises out of you, I loved it" and Robert like "really?" kind of shy and disbelieving, and Kev like "babe I'm so hard I could cut diamonds right now"

Robert with his hand gentle in Kev's hair and Kev's head between his legs, Kev giving him an experimental but very enthusiastic blowjob and literally moaning with Robert's dick in his mouth

Gab : being so used to straight men getting their climax and leaving him like that. He might even think he just comes mostly untouched and that's great, he doesn't need more. So he's not used to people sucking him off.

And then Kev insists he wants to do it and, Robert comes insanely fast because it's just so fucking good. Even if kev doesn't have a lot of experience. And it's not 100% just being sucked off, it's being taken care of, and his pleasure being the main event, and loved. Kev's hands all over his body, not searching for boobs to grab, not trying to just fuck him and be done but actually taking the time and mapping out his body

Collette : Yes all this. This is what was going through my head too

It's Kev caressing his legs and his abdomen as he sucks him off, and Kev caring so much about just pleasuring him, and the fact that it's Kev!! It's this guy he truly really likes on an emotional level and not just a sexual one!!

Jo : God I’m emotional as fuck about this au

Kev walking him home and like half way through when they’re not in the most public area but still with people passing them very shyly grabbing robs hand and he’s fully shaking and Rob is just looking at him questioningly but Kev keeps holding his hand even when a person passes next to them and Rob just trying to hold back this huge grin

Collette : Robert feeling Kev's hand shake in his and squeezing it

Kev : Them getting to Robert’s appartment and Kev saying goodbye and Rob gives him a lil peck on the cheek but is looking at him expectingly the whole time and Kev is so scared of messing up again but Rob squeezes his hand a little again and Kev finally pulling himself together to give Rob a lil snog on the street

Collette : Kev thinking that it's SO worth it to try to act against his fear, because the way Robert is smiling and looking at him after he kisses him on the street is the best thing he's ever seen

#emmerdale #kevbert #kevbert au #alternate universe

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