Lately, I've been feeling really down, and being sick on top of it doesn't help the situation much either. But I’ve just felt like recently I haven't been trying hard enough to get to where I want to be. After what seemed like a long time of not having it be a problem in my life, comparison has slowly been making its way back into my life. And in today’s society, it’s so hard not to compare ourselves to others, awful, right?
In the past, I looked to people and compared myself to them, as if through them I was going to be able to find my purpose or find motivation in order to keep myself going or something. I probably looked a lot of other places to fill a lot of things too but we will just leave it at those few things for now. But I noticed this then, and it’s really sticking out to me even more now, that every time I look to worldly things, in attempts to find whatever it is I feel is missing from my life, I just end up feeling empty, sad and lost. And back then, I didn't have the relationship with God the way I do now, but now that I do, I feel guilty for this. For not looking to Him, who truly matters, who truly cares more than ANYTHING else, or person on this entire earth could.
Not that I’m trying to brag about this, but I’m so thankful for my relationship with Austin. Because today as I was sharing with him what had been burdening my heart for the past few days, he reminded me to give it to God. To pray about it, and that he would pray for me. And what’s so funny, is that for days I had these burdens consuming my thoughts, my feelings, everything. I couldn’t understand the way I was feeling well enough to know how to look to scripture to help.
But today, after praying about it, God literally put words before my eyes as I was scrolling through social media. The post said, “He who began a good work in you will carry it out until the day of completion.”
This gave me so much peace and understanding. Knowing that I don’t need to be more or be better. Becuase God is always, constantly working in me. And everything I compare myself to when looking at others, God sees right past all of it.
I’m really thankful God put this little life lesson on my heart this week. I’m thankful that He reminded me that by me stressing over being “successful” will never satisfy me, and I don’t have to worry about chasing anything but Him.
