alex q that just occured to me, so clearly he struggles a lot with his desires, specifically towards val becus he is a love interest and she's our main character. since he's bi, i wonder if any hypothetical attraction towards a man would cause essentially the same reaction, or would it be different with the added dimension of religious homophobia being a factor? (not in an "alex is homophobic" way becus obviously he's not, but more in a like. "i, specifically, am not allowed to want this" kinda way. or does his catholic guilt not discriminate btwn girls and boys. sorry if nothing im saying makes sense lol
HRMM i think early on him using that as a bludgeon is possible BUT his struggles are also primarily fueled by abuse, trauma, growing up in a toxic environment, and his harm OCD and moral scrupulosity, and while the catholicism fuels it, he also really specifically fixates on his capacity for harm and his autonomy.
trying not to spoil one of My Favorite Fucking Scenes bc its only in episode 17 xD but Alex's fixation tends to come out in the form of fearing violence and in turn weaponizing his own masculinity and it causes him to say some kinda deplorable shit to Val... and in the episode it's directly contrasted with Val having more passive, feminine dark impulses. Val doesnt think about harming others as much as she thinks about swooping in and helping some Wounded Pretty Boy
it depends on the guy honestly, but in general his intrusive thoughts can't cling to him being a Big Strong Manly Man as cleanly as it could if he was courting another man! like he's pretty big so it definitely would still be a Thing. But like, if Val was the same but a man, sure he could probably say the same things, but he wouldn't be able to threaten Liam or Opal the way he can threaten Val, if he told them he could overpower them they'd be like "bet?" lol...
I think religious homophobia would be something he would use to self harm early on, but once he's actually dating Val that part kinda quickly loses its grip bc he was more concerned abt hurting her than about sin on it's own.
but later once him and Val are comfortable, and especially once they're sexually active and living together, he's like "Im Not Actually Doing Anything Wrong Fuck Off" lmao. and he only goes to confess abt it because Its The Right Thing To Do, even though he clearly thinks its annoying lol
like stripped from literally all the worst OCD parts and the trauma from e14, Alex doesn't want to date because he can't trust that love is enough. He knows Jasper loved Melissa, he knows Jasper loved HIM, he knows that he loves Jasper. And Jasper still abused them.
Honestly I feel like he might be a little more... cold and abrasive in some ways with another man at first, omfg. he's consistently a lot more gentle and forgiving with women and more judgemental toward men 😭
