#killitkillitkillit

[jelly-on-toast]

If you are NOT my husbend, please do not read this, it does not concern you

BABE THERES A COCKROACH IN THE BASEMENT PLEASE HELP ME !!! AGAGDGAYYRXAHA ITS FLYING! ITS FLYING! BOBBYYYYYY HELP *distent sobbing*

@bobby-best-manager BOBBYYYYYY

[the1trueanon]

Spider.

Rise of the TMNT belongs to Nickelodeon/Flying Bark Studios Art belongs to me

[d-the-australian-dork]

Ugh...

My sister's watching a Barbie movie. Normally I would escape upstairs. In fact, I did, but she keeps on yelling for me to watch the movie and criticise it like I normally do but it's not worth my genius. I don't want be down here but she's annoying the hell out of me so I moved downstairs but I've got my earphones in because I hate Barbie. I'm trying to ignore it (hence the earphones) and it's working for the most part but AAAAAH I HATE BARBIE SO MUCH

[ffighterwhale]

it’s 4am, you have just crawled out of your hole of a room. your fluffy socks touch the hardwood floors making a swish sound, the floor type changes as you enter the kitchen. instead of a swish it’s more of a creeK crOck now. you look around your dark kitchen, the moonlight is coming in from the window across the room. you feel a bit parched so you decide to get some water. you grab a cup from your cupboard, walk over to the sink, fill up the cup with water and then grab exactly 2 ice cubes from the freezer. you drink it immediately after placing the ice cubes in, you feel the water trickle down your throat and into your stomach. you sigh and yawn, “time for bed!” your brain tells you. your eyes are pretty much already asleep. you turn to leave the kitchen but as soon as you do you hear a loud “CREEEEEEEEENNNKKK” sound. you turn around slowly, your body shaking with fear. it’s too early in the morning for this scary bullshit!! you half expected nothing to be there. but this one time…… you were WRONG! so wrong. all you see through the darkness is a grey bunny looking thing, you try to scream but the sound wont come out. you quickly grab your phone from your pocket and shine your flashlight on the creature. It stands there, one hand up and one hand across its chest, you notice a dick bulge too. it looks like it’s hard?? you start to feel less scared for some reason, maybe this is just your tired eyes tricking you into some weird kinky fantasy?? you take a step toward it and it speaks unexpectedly “take a picture….. it’ll last longer” it says in a hissing, sexy, deep voice. you take a picture and run to your room. you fall asleep you right as soon as you touch your bed. you wake up the next morning.. and you try to delete the photo. it doesn’t delete. it will haunt you forever.

-chanelle

[pleasantandcain]

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Reginald would like to thank Wegmans for his new toy: a shirt too uncomfortable to wear. #corgi #corgisofinstagram #dog #corgstagram #killitkillitkillit