#kisamei

[naruto-shipping-confessions]

[kisames-corner]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Author: Mossbeast                      

Rating: G

Relationships: Hoshigaki Kisame/Momochi Zabuza, Hoshigaki Kisame/Momochi Zabuza/Terumi Mei, Hoshigaki Kisame/Momochi Zabuza/Terumi Mei/Uchiha Obito 

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - what's a canon timeline anyway, shinobi tools and how not to use them, no beta I die by my own badly thrown senbon, Kisame Week 2022 (Naruto), Prompt: Teeth, Marriage, Accidental Marriage, is that even a tag, Discord: Kisame's Corner, Biting, Kiricule, Polyamory

Summary: “You uh… is there a reason you bit me in particular?” Kisame asks slowly.

Written for day 5 prompt 1 teeth for Kisame Week 2022.  posted with author's permission!!

[cezulian]

I’m bored lets talk about how in one of the games Mei makes a bunch of Konoha men fight her to see if she might be interested in them but when she beats their asses she becomes disinterested and how two of those men were Kakashi and Gai, the latter of which she was into because she’d heard rumor of him doing battle like a “savage beast” and then lets also talk about how she and Kisame grew up together and how Kisame also tends to gravitate towards very pretty and smart and fiery-in-more-ways-than-one ninja with Kekkei-Genkai, troubled pasts, who are too strong for their own good and personalities for leadership to combat his personality for being a loyal follower

[ninjaships]

Kisame X Mei

Q&A about one of my favorite Naruto ships, Pt1. 

1. Why I like this pairing?

It’s Shark Boy and Lava Girl, what’s not to like? No but seriously they would have such a compelling backstory. They’re both around the same age, and not only did they survive the era of the bloody mist but they are grouped together with some of the strongest Shinobi in the history of the Hidden Mist Village. There is no way these two hadn’t crossed paths multiple times before the main Naruto plot had begun. Kisame was somewhere in his 20s when he left the village, that would have given him plenty of time to form bonds and have many interactions with his fellow Mist Nin (maybe even getting it on with a certain future Mizukage?!?!). So not only is KisaMei chronologically possible (that is if you’re thinking in cannon universe) but I think they would have amazing chemistry as well! Polite, respectful, quick witted, and ruthless in battle, this pairing has a lot more common ground than just their roots. However what would make this pairing so great is not their commonalities but rather how they contrast! The optimist v.s the pessimist. They lived through the same times yet perceived and experienced things in a totally different way. While Kisame gave up on what Kiri was, Mei kept fighting for what she always hoped it could be despite all the corruption and bad blood that consumed their home. On a less serious note, I think Mei’s short fuse and emotional outburst opposed to Kisame’s nonchalant attitude and funny cometary would make for a good dynamic. They would definitely be a very spicy couple, and have an amazing sex life if anything.

2. What would the nature of their relationship be?

In Cannon universe? undefined, bittersweet.

In the cannon universe I don’t think they could ever be in a serious relationship due to the fact that Mei is the FREAKING Mizukage of the Hidden Mist Village and he is an actual ninja terrorist aiming to do away with all the hidden villages. However, I like to headcannon that before Kisame betrayed the mist he had kinda a thing with Mei, like a very casual on and off again relationship with some feelings on the side. I could see them having very playful banter and seeking companionship in one and other due to that fact that they were in a relatively small group of the most elite ninja in the village. I think they would both have a lot of respect for each other despite having different core beliefs. Mei would be open and understanding towards Kisame’s controversial take on their purpose as shinobi, and likewise Kisame would hold her in high regard due to her unwavering loyalty and genuine desire to fix a broken system. I think they would both always hold very tender feelings towards one and other despite being on sworn to two opposing organizations. Now if we're venturing outside of cannon rules, definitely married. Kisame would totally wife that scary dragon lady. Mr. & Mrs. Smith all the way. 

3. Who makes the first move?

Kisame

After much goading from Mei that is. Mei is very flirtatious and forward, yet when it came to down to it she kept waiting for Kisame to initiate things for the first time. I think Mei is a woman who is used to being chased and not being the pursuer, Kisame definitely knew this and was using it agains her. She would be dropping sexual innuendo and not so obvious hints left and right, The swordsman might have given her a chuckle every now and again or at least a huff of amusement, sometimes he would play dumb to her intentions only to get a rise out of her (which it did). But eventually his desire won out. It was after a couple of close calls, resulting from drunken nights after the exhilaration of battle, that Mei had pretty much given up faith in her comrade when he took her by surprise one day with a rather rough and much anticipated return of affections. xxx

4. Do either of them get jealous?

No, neither of them do. I don't think there is anyplace for jealousy in this relationship. They’re both mature adults and usually too occupied with shinobi duties. It just wouldn't work with their life style and professions, plus they're both very loyal people. Mei can be quick to anger as shown a few times in cannon, but at her core she is very intelligent and perceptive. Therefore she would know Kisame well enough to be confident in that he would never intentionally hurt her in anyway. Also Kisame wouldn’t do well with a jealous partner and would find it rather insulting to have someone questioning his character all the time. 

5. Do they want/have children?

Selfishly I’m going to answer yes to the later. 

I could see them having a child out of obligation to the village, I imagine after the third world war and Zabuza’s academy massacre there must have been a high demand to produce a new generation of strong ninja to defend the village against future attacks. Mei had always wanted to start a family of her own, but ideally in a time of peace when her village no longer needed her to fight. I think they both would have strong reservations about bringing a life into such a corrupt and morally grey world, especially Kisame. I have my own KisaMei OC children that i’ve been brainstorming for a while now, hopefully i’ll get around to writing that fan fiction one day. 

If you guys like this paring as well let me know or send me a KisaMei request some time! It’s always great to get inspired by my fellow shippers. 

[squiglylines]

Mei and Kisame 💜

[kisamesharkweek]

Who’s excited for Shark Week??

What is it: Coinciding with Discovery Channel’s “Shark Week,” Kisame Week 2019 is an event to celebrate Kisame himself and any of your favorite Shark Man pairings + friendships!

How to participate: Indicate which prompt you chose, tag your content with #KisameWeek2019, and mention @kisamesharkweek​!

If you do not use Tumblr, no problem! Post your content on your usual site and submit a link to it on our Tumblr.

For more information—including NS-FW tagging requirements, other rules, and prompt descriptions!—check out the About and Frequently Asked Questions pages on the full @kisamesharkweek​ profile.

Finally, “read more” for a typed prompt list, and feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

- Mod Endoh

Monday (July 29): SHARK WEEK!! + Swordsman Tuesday (July 30): Favorite Relationship Trope + Abyss / Deep Wednesday (July 31): Nautical (or Nice) + Blood in the Water Thursday (August 1): Baby Shark (DODODODO!) + Tides of War Friday (August 2): Under the Sea + Into the Mist Saturday (August 3): Gentle Giant + Instinct Sunday (August 4): Life’s a Beach + Free Prompt!

[ahkaraii]

Rarepair generator: Zabuza & Kisame (1600 words)

Kisame is the first to sniff him out among the mountain of corpses that litter the ruins of the Academy. It’s easy because, the closer he gets, the thicker the miasma of killing intent becomes. Like a cornered dog kicked too many times, the class-killer growls low in warning, black eyes wide and bloodshot.

A total runt, Kisame thinks disappointedly.

“Congratulations,” Kisame says instead, and drops a freshly pressed towel and a water bottle at the feet of the boy in question. “You are now officially the youngest ninja of the Hidden Village of the Mist.” He looks around gamely. “Seems like you’ll stay that way for a while, too, seeing as you killed all the competition.”

The kid is stiff and silent but clearly hungry. He scrabbles over for the water bottle and drowns it in a rush, his thin neck pulsating with every swallow.

“What’s your name, soldier?” Kisame asks.

“Don’t have one,” the kid rasps, revealing filed teeth. A bastard of some Hozuki, most likely.

“An orphan, huh...” Kisame looks at that emaciated body and does some quick mental math. “You’re not even an academy student, are you?”

The kid has the audacity to flash him a sneering grin. “Now, no one is.”

“Hm,” Kisame says. "We might have a problem.”

--

They have a problem.

They’re at war with half the elemental countries and already bleeding soldiers faster than they can breed them, and now a whole generation of up-and-comings have been eliminated by an insolent upstart with no family to take the fall for it all. The Mizukage is, understandably, pissed the fuck off.

But maybe it’s a sign the runt’s gonna be destined for great things ‘cause he’s the reason the Mizukage finally does away with the Hidden Mist’s infamous graduation exam. Kisame’s not particularly glad of it -- he killed his classmates and came out all the stronger for it, in his opinion -- but he’s smart enough not to question it.

Then, shockingly, after ten years of ceaselessly hunting down those with a bloodline limit due to a failed coup composed of the very same, the Mizukage relents and orders that no further harm may come to them. Indeed, they are encouraged to reveal themselves and join the war effort. 

Terumi Mei-san’s ecstatic, of course, until the next order comes down the pipeline: all women of child-bearing age are to produce a child for the good of the country, effective immediately. She fucking hates it, but she loves her country more, so she asks Kisame if he’d do her the honour and he shrugs and says sure. They’ve had sex before and it was good so what if now it’s under orders?

(In the end, it’s a rotten way to find out she’s infertile.)

--

In retrospect, the runt’s probably spared for the same reasons. They can no longer afford to mindlessly kill their own, not with the rest of the world doing it for them. The Mizukage has Kisame interrogate him just long enough to beat the truth out of him: how had he done it?

“It was easy,” the boy had said, spitting blood. “I just convinced them all to kill each other.”

The kid’s got guts, if nothing else.

--

The Mizukage gifts him to Biwa Juuzo-san, after. To break, to eat, or to raise, it’s his call. Poor bastard.

--

The next time Kisame meets the kid, he’s been given the name Zabu, which, according to Juuzo’s hodgepodge kanji, appears to mean Failure. Despite the moniker, however, Juuzo seems to like the kid. Perhaps a bit too much, Kisame thinks, but he keeps that to himself.

“Well, if it’s isn’t Mr. Waterbottle,” the runt says, flashing a mouthful of teeth. “I never caught your name, big guy.”

“Hoshigaki Kisame,” he says. “Good to see you well, Zabu-san.”

“Hah! San!” The kid barks out a pleased laugh. “I like the sound of that!”

Juuzo promptly backhands him to the ground. “Mind your manners, boy! He’s Fuguki’s tool, a weapon of the Seven Swordsman.”

The kid spits blood like it’s a well practiced motion. “Just like I’m yours, huh?”

“He’s not housebroken yet,” Juuzo apologizes. “Orphans. You know how they are.”

Housebroken or not, Zabu’s a well honed weapon. He keeps up with them without complaint, and kills on command with no hesitation. At night, he retreats into Juuzo’s tent like a kunai would to a holster, sharp end first.

--

Being as they are both subordinates to two of the infamous seven Swordmen of the Mist, they see a fair amount of each other over the next couple of years. Zabu stretches out like ninja wire, thin and sharp and nigh unbreakable. His eyes gets sharper and crueler until all that’s left of that cocky-mouthed runt is his odd charisma, the very same that helped him convince a hundred little boys and girls to rip each other to pieces.

“Our country could be so much greater,” he says. “Don’t you think, Hoshigaki?”

Kisame eyes him carefully. To speak against the Mizukage is akin to suicide, and he himself has killed men for less. “What are you getting at?”

Zabu’s eyes glint oddly in the firelight. “The country of Wind is dry, infertile. The land of Earth, selfsame. But ours is rich with rivers and wetland. We eat each other for lack of food, when we could be feeding ourselves rice and barley.”

How the years have changed this street rat to a philosopher, Kisame does not know. But he finds it amusing, nonetheless.

“You wish to become a farmer, Zabu-san?”

The brat grins sharp and jagged. “Nah,” he says. “Tools don’t dream of anything.”

--

Then some fucking green-ass genin from the Leaf goes and kills six of the seven Swordsmen, rendering them an international laughingstock and blowing whatever prestige it was to wield those swords out of the water and into the frying pan, because now they’re a bleeding fish out at sea, and all the world’s a shark ready to devour them whole.

To make matters worse, Fuguki-san has the fucking indecency of surviving the ordeal long enough to betray them to the Leaf, so Kisame’s the very last to inherit his sword, and by that time, he’s already lost any such illusion about his country being in any way capable of becoming greater than absolute zero.

--

Zabu, now sole master of the massive Kubikiribōchō, officially adds a third kanji to his name that means He Who Beheads. Kisame wonders if it’s a petty way of forcing the whole world to address him with respect even if they don’t want to, because Zabuzan sounds pretty fucking close to Zabu-san to his ears. He doesn’t say anything about that, though.

And when ‘Zabuza-san’ brings back a street rat he picked up from some godforsaken village and declares it his own personal tool, Kisame doesn’t say anything about that, either. Privately he thinks Juuzo would be rolling in his grave, if he had any.

Mei then lets it slip that Zabuza is planning a coup, gathering followers and inspiring rebellion. Kisame is surprised by how unsurprised he is, and wholly unengaged. Years ago his first gut reaction would’ve been violence, a dog trained to defend his Mizukage even when his master was fucking insane, but now his heart’s not in it. He just doesn’t give a shit.

Kisame doesn’t stick around to watch the fallout. He strikes a line through his headband and fucks off.

Mei’s devastated, of course, but she loves her country more, and it’s only by the grace of Samehada that Kisame makes it out alive. He wonders, as he leaves her bleeding, what their child would have looked like.

It probably would have died in the womb, Kisame thinks, and thinks on it no more.

--

They meet again as missing nin, years later. Zabuza’s coup failed and he left the country; Kisame left the country and joined a coup. How fate plays tricks on fools, Kisame thinks.

“Zabu-san,” Kisame says politely. “Good to see you well.”

Zabuza grins. “You too, big guy.”

Zabuza’s still being accompanied by his street rat, who he creatively named White Snow. The kid’s smooth where Zabuza is sharp, polite where Zabuza is rude, and is, overall, disgustingly saccharine with the man. And they’re clearly more than just a weapon to Zabuza, but Mist has never raised a child that knew how to love before they knew how to kill.

“Me and Haku are mercenaries,” Zabuza says. “For now.” He explains that they’re traveling around, gathering funds and followers across the elemental countries, with the ultimate goal of killing the mad Mizukage once and for fucking all. “We’re gonna make Water Country great again,” he says, and Kisame is reminded of Mei, of her unwavering love of the country Kisame has lost all loyalty to, and then Zabuza goes and says, “will you join us, Mr. Waterbottle?”

He really is a charming piece of shit, Kisame thinks fondly.

He doesn’t join them, but he does pledge his funds to Zabuza’s cause. And if he takes what payment Akatsuki gives him and deviates them to his old comrade in search of a better world, then no one has to know.

--

He hears of Zabuza’s death from his partner Uchiha Itachi. Apparently Itachi’s little brother and his team blew a hole through Haku’s heart and Zabuza died of heartbreak. The irony is not lost on Kisame.

“I am sorry,” Itachi says.

“Nah,” Kisame says. “We weren’t close.” Later, he says, “he wanted to be a farmer, I think.”

[sooniaarten]

Hiya I love your Naruto fanart, if possible can you draw some KisaMei?

Their can really be the HOT couple EVER !

And then the cuter..

(Thank you sooooooo much !!)