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Hear me out- if dazai was a cat he would hands down be a maine coone🥹

⌯⌲ i totally, 100% agree. i even looked up before if maine coons can have brown fur, and they can! which helps for one of my ideas i have for a fic.

𝒪. Dazai -`♡´-

forward: in an alternate universe, dazai is somehow a stray cat in need of a home.

♡ maine coon!catzai is a big kitty, with a long fluffy tail, bright yellow eyes, and chocolate brown fur that attracts the eye of anyone that happens to see him wandering the alleyways.

𑄝 is pretty thin, but the thick fur hides his ribcage for the most part 𑄝 large paws - they can be pretty intimidating when he's swiping at people 𑄝 jagged claws from living out on the streets 𑄝 hefty fangs that he isn't afraid to show off

♡ maine coon!catzai is a loner, keeps to himself, roams around the city in search of food and water, but people try to lure him so they can take him home. that just makes him scurry away instead as fast as he can.

𑄝 is a sucker for canned crab - doesn't much like canned cat food 𑄝 closely watches whatever human tries getting near him while he eats 𑄝 stays away from the other strays - if there are other kitties eating, he will just leave 𑄝 sometimes will sit far away enough, just out of reach from whoever is wanting to knab him

♡ maine coon!catzai is feisty.

𑄝 hisses often 𑄝 swipes anyone or anything near him with his claws out 𑄝 wears a disinterested glare like a human 𑄝 sits politely wherever he is with his tail swaying elegantly - very much looking unbothered 𑄝 if called, he will stare at the human before turning away - as if he didn't hear them 𑄝 has many human-like characteristics and behaviors

♡ maine coon!catzai is difficult to catch. he's nimble and resorts to playful tricks to get out of human hands - not even the canned crab is enough to lure him into being a house cat.

𑄝 slow blinks with airplane ears at anyone that goes "pspspsps" 𑄝 bleps his tongue out before running away 𑄝 runs and jumps around when being chased 𑄝 knocks stuff around 𑄝 bites and claws with the intent to harm 𑄝 shows off his kitty butt with tail waving before taking off

♡ maine coon!catzai is caught in the rain with a hurt paw because he slipped while running away and is limping around. others have tried helping him, but of course, he hisses and swipes at them if they attempt getting closer.

♡ maine coon!catzai is curled up under a box that is getting soaked with wet fur and incredibly hungry, so hungry he thinks his nose is making things up when he smells a can of crab near him.

𑄝 he peeks his head out to see no one is around - but the crab is definitely there 𑄝 he's cautious but he carefully crawls out to eat - his eyes are frantically watching every which way 𑄝 no humans have bothered him, and he got to finish an entire can for once

♡ maine coon!catzai is being met with a lot more canned crab every day, rain or shine; but his paw is still hurt, making it harder for him to roam around like normal, so he has resorted needing to stay near his damaged box in the alleyway near the convenience store.

𑄝 the human bestowing the gifts unto him has slipped up to reveal themselves - but he's in so much pain and tired he doesn't really acknowledge them 𑄝 you peek into his box, noticing he is laying on his side with his paw bent wrong 𑄝 "poor kitty, are you hurt?" - your finger carefully pokes under his paw, on the pink flesh, and he just meows 𑄝 you scoot the can closer to him, which he's grateful for, but he's breathing heavy

♡ maine coon!catzai is being carried away from his box, huddled into your raincoat, and his tail wags a bit while dangling from your arms. he just stares at you with his constricted pupils and airplane ears.

𑄝 you take him to a vet to get repaired 𑄝 the vet tells you that the big kitty is in there pretty often - primarily because people feel bad he's hurt but don't take him in due to his attitude 𑄝 she reveals that she named him dazai since she saw him so much 𑄝 "like the author?" 𑄝 you take dazai home after she gives him a kitty cast

♡ maine coon!catzai is disoriented from the change in scenery, tail up and poofed out, head twisting and turning as he takes in your home, but he can't run far with his leg securely wrapped up.

𑄝 he meows frequently - hisses get mixed in there from time to time 𑄝 you have to try to calm him, but he hides under the couch, bed, or in the bathroom - you don't know how he got all the way there with his incapacitated leg 𑄝 you try luring him to the cat bed you purchased - it's dressed with a mountain of blankets and a crab cat toy 𑄝 he's skeptical, peering at the bed from under the couch, his tail swinging back and forth on the other side - it does look enticing 𑄝 he smells crab again, but you're nowhere to be seen 𑄝 you decided it's better to leave him alone but keep him fed

♡ maine coon!catzai is exploring your place while you're gone during the day, getting into things he shouldn't, getting used to the new surroundings and the hurt leg. he hobbles around, sniffing whatever he comes into contact with.

𑄝 he finds himself investigating your dirty laundry basket the most - he's recognized your scent and likes how the fabric feels 𑄝 he ogles with giant pupils at your trinkets that sit on the shelves, begging to be knocked over 𑄝 he plays in his dish, getting water everywhere 𑄝 he runs and jumps at the window or patio door whenever he sees a bird or other little creature - he hisses behind the glass and wonders how he can get out there 𑄝 he gets zoomies and stumbles around from point A to point B 𑄝 he naps in the bed you got him until you come home - then rushes back under the couch

♡ maine coon!catzai is avoidant.

𑄝 he won't let you touch him 𑄝 he'll find a way to climb up on the couch but sits on the opposite end from you 𑄝 if he roams freely while you're home, he will just turn back around to one of his hiding places if you even look in his direction 𑄝 he watches the door, as if trying to decide if he wants to bolt out of it when you go in or out 𑄝 he found a way to get on your bed at night - he sleeps at the foot of it

♡ maine coon!catzai is finally free from his cast and pounces around more, running back and forth places, trying to reach for trinkets he previously became infatuated with - but a human is stopping him from doing so.

𑄝 he just stares at you when you scold him for his bad kitty behaviors 𑄝 his pointy ears will stick straight up with enlarge pupils looking up at you - the one who gives him the crab 𑄝 he swipes at your ankles when you walk by 𑄝 he wants to play with you - like the way he did with those other silly humans that would try to capture him 𑄝 he sits at your feet when you're on the couch - staring at you 𑄝 he meows until you look at him in return - don't touch him though

♡ maine coon!catzai is warming up to you, sitting closer on the couch, letting you run your fingers through his fluffy tail, climbs on the bed with you when you're still laying there, and stopped hissing whenever you walk by him while he's eating.

𑄝 he is still skeptical over you - but you let him essentially run the house

♡ maine coon!catzai is suddenly needy, wanting love and attention, wanting to be cuddled and held, out of nowhere. his paw gingerly taps your arm, his big body taking it upon itself to slow crawl into your lap, and he looks up at you as if testing the waters.

𑄝 you carefully pick him up and hold him like a baby - his tail wags, then he purrs 𑄝 "look how sweet you can be." 𑄝 you kiss the top of his head, and those pupils engulf his irises - he nudges his head close to you again for another kiss

♡ maine coon!catzai is on a routine now with you where after you finish settling in for the evening, after having his crab dinner, he crawls his way into your lap so you can hold and coddle him like a baby - give him lots of kisses and even tummy scratches.

𑄝 he will cry if you aren't there or if you're late for his cuddle time

♡ maine coon!catzai is taking it upon himself to sleep on your chest during the nighttime. you don't mind - it's like a weighted blanket.

♡ maine coon!catzai is not a fan if you have any friends or potential partners over.

𑄝 he hisses at anyone that walks into the house - the hair on his back sticks up and his tail poofs out 𑄝 this scares people due to his size 𑄝 he doesn't like men - he bites and swipes at their feet 𑄝 he will crawl up on the couch and wrap his body around your shoulders to hiss at whoever is sitting near you - showing that he will protect you 𑄝 if you tap his nose for hissing, he just licks your finger then goes back to hissing at guests 𑄝 he really does not like men - he has scared off two now

♡ maine coon!catzai is extremely territorially of you now.

𑄝 he keeps one of your dirty shirts in his cat bed to snuggle and sniff when you're gone 𑄝 waits by the door around the time he thinks you'll be home 𑄝 you got him a kitty stroller and backpack so he can go with you places 𑄝 he will hug your arm and nibble on it 𑄝 he doesn't run away 𑄝 lets you put a kitty leash on him - he's strong so he yanks you forward when he is exploring

♡ maine coon!catzai is finally wearing a collar with his name etched into it.

♡ maine coon!catzai is a domesticated house cat and couldn't be happier.

♡ he still swipes at your ankles then runs away when you go to yell at him. ♡

this kind of helped me get some ideas for my "pretty kitty" au story.

𑄝 bonus

- ghxst

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