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Sound of Snow

Pairing: deaf!Rengoku x gn!reader (college au)

Synopsis: There’s a cute guy in your class who ends up being your partner for a big research project. However, after realizing there’s a slight communication issue, you’re determined to learn sign language. And in the process of teaching you, Kyojuro realizes he’s slowly falling for you

Romance Tropes: college setting, tutoring, he falls first, miscommunication (lmao I’m so sorry), golden retriever bf

A/n: remember how in the spin off story Rengoku ruptured his ear drums to battle the flute demon? Imagine him being deaf/hard of hearing in the modern, Kimetsu Academy world. I’m also obsessed with “A Sign of Affection”

W/c: 7K (im sorry)

History was your least favorite subject.

Most of the time it was boring as hell, nearly putting you to sleep from the long drawn out lectures your professor gave. It didn’t help that his lessons were insanely dull nor the fact the class was a large lecture with some 50 students in it. You were a literal small fish in a big sea, so it was damn near impossible to ask questions during the lesson or to get 1-on-1 help with the teacher.

You were doing the best you could. You and your roommate, Mitsuri, who was also on the verge of failing, often held late night cram sessions, trying to do your best at memorizing dates and key moments in history. With little success, you were truly hoping that on the midterm you could skate by with at least a D.

“For the midterm, you will be doing a group research project on one of the four units we’ve discussed thus far,” sensei explains. “You have been assigned a partner at random, and the four of you have the flexibility to do a research on anything as long as it pertains to one of our units. Today you meet with your partner, and by Friday I need you to submit a project proposal.”

“Great,” you groan, nearly slamming your face on the desk. Beside you, Mitsuri giggled. You don’t know why she was laughing. Her grades were as bad as yours.

“Mind you, this project is worth thirty-five percent of your overall final grade,” sensei continues. “I highly advise you not wait until the last minute for this assignment as you have a month to put together your report. I’ll display the groups on the board. You have the rest of the class to discuss.”

From your seat it’s hard to see the board. Squinting you eventually find your name and group:

Group 3: Iguro Obanai, L/n Y/n, Kanroji Mitsuri, Rengoku Kyojuro

“Oh oh! Y/n! We’re together,” Mitsuri says, excitedly shaking you. You hope the other two are smart, otherwise, you’re fucked.

The professor gives a few more instructions before allowing people to break into their groups.

“Excuse me,” someone said. Standing in front of yours and Mitsuri’s desk are two guys that you’ve never seen before (then again, you hardly pay attention to anyone or anything in class).

One of the guys is much shorter, with shoulder length black hair and uniquely colored eyes hidden behind a pair of glasses. He wears a black face mask that honestly matches the rest of his dark ensemble, a black and white cardigan that hangs baggy on his body.

Next to him is a taller individual with wild, shoulder length blond hair that’s been dyed red at the tips. He’s dressed in a white tshirt with an unzipped windbreaker jacket and grey joggers. When the male notices your stare, he smiles. It’s so radiant that you think you’ll go blind.

“I’m Iguro Obanai, and this is Rengoku,” the guy with the mask introduces. “It looks like we’re partners. A pleasure to work with you.”

“I’m Kanroji! But you can feel free to call me Mitsuri,” you roommate says too excitedly. “And this is Y/n!”

You nod in acknowledgment. They don’t seem so bad. Perhaps you’ll actually ace this midterm and avoid having to retake the class. After Iguro and Rengoku push two desks together, you get to work.

Iguro practically assumes the role of the group leader, not that anyone objects or complains. His notes are detailed, organized and surprisingly, they make sense to you. Though he comes up with a few good potential ideas, he doesn’t force any final decisions, leaving it up to the group.

“I like the pop culture idea,” you agree. “I think it would go along well with the globalization unit.”

“Ohh I actually understood that unit!” Mitsuri said. “Good idea, Iguro!” Though he wears a mask, you note the way the black haired male’s ears redden slightly in embarrassment from the praise. You grin. You can already see the budding romance forming on the horizon, and you’d support it no matter what.

Rengoku though hasn’t said much. He nods along, looking intently back and forth between his notebook and Iguro’s, who points out things for him to write from time to time. You don’t want to exclude his opinion, so you ask, “does that idea work for you, Rengoku?”

“Oh yeah, we don’t want to invalidate your opinion,” Mitsuri adds, as kind and considerate as ever.

“Uh…” Rengoku’s eyebrows furrow slightly. He looks to Iguro. His companion makes a gesture, communicating something with only a few hand signs which makes the blond’s expression appear more excited. “Oh, yes!” Rengoku signs back while vocalizing his agreement. His enthusiasm is kinda cute?

“Sign language?” Mitsuri beats you to the question.

“It’s not really my place to share,” Iguro says, glancing over at Rengoku who’s hunched over his notebook, pen quickly jotting away. As his hair falls over his shoulders, you see something red around his ear. “But Rengoku’s deaf.”

Rengoku turns his notebook towards you and Mitsuri. The two of you lean in to read his neat handwriting.

“I’ve been fully deaf since I was seven. I have hearing aids that help me distinguish some sounds, but I’m fluent in JSL and know a bit of ASL. I can read lips decently, and Obanai helps a bunch with things that I miss. I really like the project idea and I will make sure to do my part! ( ^ω^ )”

The little emoticon makes you smile.

“Wow you’re so amazing Kyojuro!” Mitsuri says. “I’ve always wanted to learn sign language.”

“Obanai and I can teach you,” Rengoku scribbles across the page.

“Woah, you know JSL too?”

Iguro, somewhat bashfully, nods. “We grew up together, so naturally I picked up on it.”

“I see! Say, why don’t we create a group chat in LINE so we can meet up outside of class.”

With no objections, you all exchange contact information. Mitsuri does the honor of creating the chat and nicknaming it “study buddies.” You add Iguro and Rengoku as friends so that their names come up your contact.

You send each of them a silly Pokémon sticker. Rengoku responds back with an onigiri emote wearing sunglasses. You laugh. It was cute.

You don’t notice the way Rengoku stares at you, watching the way you expression changes with laughter and how your eyes crinkle and your teeth show with your smile. His cheeks slowly turn red. Iguro’s the only one that notices his friend’s flustered look, and he could only smile behind his mask.

The bell rings signaling the end of the period. You all begin gathering your belongings, placing them in your bags, Iguro signing to Rengoku that class is finished. “Oh, are you guys free?” Mitsuri asks. “Why don’t we all grab lunch together?”

“I’m available,” Iguro instantly agrees. He looks to Rengoku, asking if he’s hungry.

“Yes!” Rengoku replied, cheerfully.

Iguro chuckles. “You’re always hungry.”

At that moment, Mitsuri’s stomach growls, her face flushing from embarrassment as you snicker under your breath. “So is this one over here,” you laugh. “What shall we get? Is sushi good?”

“Oh! Good idea! There’s actually a new restaurant that opened up by campus,” Mitsuri says. She searches up something on her phone, before everyone’s device pings with a message in the group chat. Rengoku’s phone vibrates in his pocket. He opens up the link sent and scrolls through the menu. He’s never been an overly picky eater and likes just about all food, but seeing that this particular restaurant had a tempura and sweet potato lunch sent, he’s instantly sold.

Kyojuro: I’m in!! ٩( ᐛ )و they have tempura teishoku!

Iguro: At this rate if you eat too much tempura, your hair will change colors

Kyojuro: waatt seriously?! ಠ_ಠ

Y/n: that’s what happened to Mitsuri’s hair. She ate too much Sakura mochi ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Kanroji:wahhh!??! That’s not true and you know it! .°(ಗдಗ。)°.

You all laugh, Mitsuri sulking as you leave the classroom. Iguro tries to cheer the pink haired girl up, and she honestly gets over her funk pretty quickly, beginning to talk his ear off. Not that he seems to mind, making no effort to stop her.

On the other hand, you and Rengoku trail behind the budding couple. You aren't quite sure what to say to him. Compared to Mitsuri, you were nowhere near as outgoing or extraverted and striking up a conversation didn't come as easy to you. In fact, you hardly talked to anyone in you classes outside of Mitsuri and your other roommate, a biology major named Shinobu.

Rengoku noticed your apprehension, like you wanted to say something but wasn't sure if you should or not. He definitely wanted to get to know you. At the same time, he didn't want to make you uncomfortable, in case perhaps, group outings weren't really your thing. He taps your shoulder, catching you off guard.

"You okay?" Rengoku asks.

"Huh? Oh-" You frantically wave your hands, embarrassed at being called out. "Yes! I'm sorry. I'm okay. I just zoned out a bit."

There is an unreadable expression on Rengoku's face as he tilts his head to the side. He then smiles. With his right hand he touches his fingertips to the left side of his chest and moves them to the right. "Okay," he repeats.

You have a confused look on your face, and Rengoku repeats the sign again. Hesitantly, you mimic him, unsure if you're mirroring his action correctly. "Like this?"

Rengoku grabs your hand, gently bending your fingers so that your hand is slightly curved. You notice just how big his hand is compared to yours, long slender fingers covering yours as he adjusts the positioning of your own. He then moves your hand from the left to the right. "This is sign for okay," he informs.

His touch lingers even when he pulls away. His hand was rough and calloused, yet warm and comforting in a way you couldn't explain. You repeat the sign, Rengoku's nod of approval making something in your chest flutter. If only your teachers were this kind and efficient with teaching. Maybe then you'd pass your classes, let alone pay attention.

"Um, Rengoku," you cut yourself off to pull your phone out of your pocket. You find his name on LINE, but curiously, Rengoku leans over your shoulder to see what you type. "What's your major?" You ask.

"History," Rengoku answers, signing along what you think is the word for it. He pauses for a moment to think, before taking out his phone to text. A message soon comes through. "What about you?"

Y/n: I'm a ___ major. Mitsuri's majoring in art and graphic design

Kyojuro: Intersting! Obanai's a chem major.

Kyojuro: do you know what you want to do with your degree afterwards?

Y/n: not at all T^T. And if I don't pass this history class, I can kiss getting that degree goodbye anyway

Kyojuro: (・・?)

Kyojuro: If you ever need help, feel free to let me know! I’d be happy to share any notes!! (^O^)／

Y/n: Rengoku you’re a godsend!

(つД`)ノ

Kyojuro: haha! Please just call me Kyojuro!

Y/n: right! Then call me y/n!

You hear Rengoku let out a laugh, a quiet little chuckle as he grins your way. You feel heat creep across your cheeks and you quickly look away before he noticed. He was so kind and sweet without even trying, being nice to you though you’d only just met. You weren’t really one to fluster, but something about him just had you feeling giddy.

Rengoku taps your shoulder again, seeing you weren’t paying attention. He holds out his right hand, nodding for you to do the same. He goes through a few signs, pausing to correct your fingers every once in a while. You have no clue what you’re doing, but try to follow along.

“That’s your name,” Rengoku says, signing through your name faster than he’d instructed.

“I see…” you try to copy, but forget one of the letters. “Uh…” Rengoku smiles and re-shows you the character.

“Like this.” With his close proximity, you could smell what ever cologne he used earlier, giving him a woodsy smell that reminded you of a campfire. You could feel your heart racing as nerves took over.

“I don’t think I’ll remember in five minutes, but I’ll practice,” you laugh. “How do you sign your name?”

Rengoku instantly frowned, scratching at his cheek, a nervous tick of his. “My name is…difficult.”

Still, you offer him a sincere smile. “Please teach me.”

Rengoku nods. But before he could show you the first character, your group arrives at the restaurant.

The place you had chosen was a revolving sushi chain, popular in various cities for the variety in the menu and the fun prizes you could get after eating so many plates. A place finally opened up near campus, so it was quite packed with college students.

Iguro signs in at the kiosk. A ticket prints for your assigned table and a waitress points your group in the direction of your seat. You originally planned to sit by Mitsuri. Why wouldn’t you sit by your best friend after all? But before you could, Rengoku grabs the sleeve of your sweatshirt, stopping you in your tracks.

He honestly reacted before he could process his actions. At the realization, Rengoku’s face slowly reddened and his mind went blank as the request sitting on the tip of his tongue fell short. Why did he grab you?! What possessed him to do such an embarrassing thing? He hoped you wouldn’t be offended or take it the wrong way. His eyes darted toward his friend, a silent plea for help.

“You want to sit by Y/n?” Iguro signed. He chuckled under his breath. “Just ask. When have you been known to be shy?”

Iguro was no help. Rengoku knew his friend wanted to sit with Mitsuri as much as he wanted to sit next to you.

“Sit?” Rengoku said hesitantly. “Please?”

You offer a smile before scooting into the both left to him leaving Iguro to settle in beside Mitsuri. Not that your somewhat air headed friend noticed how the black haired male sunk into his seat to put some nervous space between them.

What was nice about the restaurant was there was a tablet to order from. You just had to select what you wanted from the menu, submit it to the kitchen, then a few minutes later the plate would come down the conveyor belt to your table.

Mitsuri snatched the device before anyone could completely get settled. Although she contemplated about what to eat and asked everyone for their opinions, you knew she added it to the order regardless. Iguro orders a drink and maybe two items (always had a small appetite) before handing it to you. You add the items you want, including a melon soda, and pass along the tablet to Rengoku.

He’s cute in the way he ponders his decision, but ultimately, much like Mitsuri, orders half the menu. It takes a while for the orders to come out, a plate deposited down the conveyor belt every few minutes. So, the group decides to eat as food arrives and order more food into the rotation.

“This food is so good!” Mitsuri gushes, her mouth full of rice. Her stack of plates was at least 15 high. Her and Rengoku alone contributed to most of the dish ware cluttering the table while you barely had four.

“Tasty!” Rengoku agrees, swiping his hand under his jaw. It almost looked like he was wiping food from his chin despite nothing being there. He looks to you with a smile and repeats the sign with a questioning expression.

“Oh, yeah,” you say. You copy the gesture. Rengoku’s smile widens and he holds up his chopsticks to you.

“Tempura.”

“N-no it’s okay.” Rengoku pouts. You sigh and open your mouth to let him happily feed you. “It’s delicious,” you sign, albeit a bit incorrect, but you tried nonetheless. And that little notion of intent left a fluttering feeling in Rengoku’s chest.

No one ever really made an effort to learn sign language, unfortunately. Outside of Iguro, his brother and his mother, many didn’t bother to even learn the basics. Hell, his father knew JSL but often intentionally ignored him and avoided communicating. The fact that you were making a conscious effort to learn the few words he’d shown you made Rengoku insanely happy.

“Ne, Obanai, you don’t want anything else?” Mitsuri asked, pulling her next plate off the conveyor belt.

“No, I’m not very hungry,” the male mumbled.

“Ehh? But you have to try this one! It has salmon!” At her insistence, Iguro sighs and allows her to place the sushi roll on his plate.

You ponder what else to eat but don’t think you could possibly stomach anything else. Rengoku leans against you to try to look at the menu in your hand. He’s warm. You could feel his body heat and smell his cologne more potently, and it jumbled the nerves in your stomach. It took everything in you not to lean into his touch though you desperately wanted to.

“K-Kyo-“ dammit. Your voice cracked. Calm down. You point to the tuna roll. “Can you teach me the sign for this?”

Rengoku eagerly nodded and held out his hand. He showed tuna. Rice. Salmon. Sushi. Egg. To eat. With a little guidance, you managed to string together a choppy “I eat a sushi roll.” You kept fucking up the different fish and eventually conceded, much to Rengoku’s amusement.

“Are you two done with your lesson?” Iguro asks/signs, a knowing smirk on his face. “The other people at the table would like to see the menu if you’re done hogging it.”

Both you and Rengoku flush, and you quickly shove the device across the table. You were both so wrapped up in your own little world together, everything else had bleared into the background. Both of you were falling fast, and neither realized it.

~*~

The next few weeks you were busy, juggling your group project meeting, your other coursework, and your fellowship responsibilities for your scholarship (a few hours of work for the department), you were exhausted and a bit stressed. Your group met a couple times a week in the library to work on the project, which thankfully gotten approved by your professor without any issues.

You and Rengoku also often had sign language lessons here and there. Sometimes while you waited for Mitsuri and Iguro to arrive at the library. Or During your lunch breaks when you had time. You now had a decent grasp on the letters and basic greetings but could no where near hold a full blown conversation. Rengoku was patient and helpful, just happy to spend a little more time with you when his schedule permitted.

Much like you, everyone had their busy schedules. Mitsuri had her art club. Iguro had his chemistry labs. And Rengoku, much to your surprise, had practice for the Kendo team. Not that it should. His physique had to come from some physical sport. You’ve seen the way his muscles flex under the sleeves of his shirt. And you’ve quickly learned that Rengoku’s a hugger, from how easily he picks you up in greeting.

“No stop Y/n!” You mentally scold yourself. “Stop fantasizing about his body. What are you? A horny teenager? Focus on your damn homework!”

“Ara? If you glare at your textbook any harder, it may combust,” a soothing, yet somewhat sly voice pulls you out of your thoughts.

“Oh, hey Shinobu. I didn’t realize you were going to be home this early.”

Your other roommate smiled, but you always suspected a hint of fakeness behind it. She always came across as guarded, like she was hiding something. Still, the short black haired girl was friendly and cordial, always doing her fair share of chores and entertaining Mitsuri’s insistence on weekly movie nights for bonding.

“The lab I’m a TA for ended early when one of the students got acid in his eyes from messing around,” Shinobu sighed. “He ended up being alright, but the professor was not thrilled.”

You cringe at the thought. Shinobu doesn’t stay long. Her phone rings, as upon glancing at the caller idea, you swear a hint of red touches her cheeks, and Shinobu hurries off, retreating to her room to study as she claimed.

Your textbook seems to mock you as you will yourself to focus. It was just so boring and all the words started to blur together as you fought the urge to doze off.

Your phone pinged.

Rengoku: Heyooo!! s( ^ω^ )

Rengoku: are you busy??

Y/n: studying. Why?

Rengoku: look outside

You nearly fell off the couch trying to stand. You pull back the blinds to open the slide door leading to the balcony. Below, Rengoku waves up at you, dressed in a red sweater and jeans, a scarf wrapped around his neck. It was chilly, thanks to the growing fall weather, and his lack coat was concerning.

Y/n: what are you doing here?!

Rengoku: I was on my way home from my part time job. I got to take home extra cupcakes and was wondering if you wanted one?

You forgot. You and Rengoku actually lived in the same complex, but different buildings. He roomed with Iguro, a scary engineering major named Shinazugawa, and another gentleman named Tomioka who you hadn’t met.

Rengoku: is now a bad time?

You snap quickly out of your shock.

Y/n: no! I’m on my way down!

You throw on some shoes, grab your keys, and wrap the throw blanket around your shoulders before flying out of your apartment, nearly falling down the stairs.

Rengoku waited patiently outside your building, ears and cheeks growing hot from the chilling cold and anticipation. He had been in such a rush to go see you that he all but forgot his fall coat. His hands felt like ice around the cupcake box. But to see you it was all worth it.

He instantly feels warm when he sees you stumble out the door, frazzled and under dressed. Before he could say anything, you grab him by the arm and yank him into the warmth of the building.

“Geeze, you’re gonna get sick without a coat!” You scold, though you were now shivering from the brief moment you stepped outside.

Rengoku merely smiles and holds up the box of cupcakes wrapped up neatly with a bow. “For you!”

His smile is contagious. “You might as well come up for a bit,” you say with a sigh, turning to hide your flustered face. “It’d be rude to kick out someone so cute…”

“Hm?”

“Nothing! Follow me.”

You lead Rengoku up the stairs and down the hall to your apartment, 205. Right as you’re arriving, Shinobu’s leaving it what seems to be a haste.

“Hey, I thought you had studying to do?” You say, oddly suspicious of her behavior. She’s usually so put together.

Shinobu seems startled by masks it well. “Something came up and so I’ll be home late. Bye!”

Rengoku and you wear similar confused expressions as you both enter the apartment. “Well, that was strange,” you comment.

“She’s…roommate?” Rengoku questions.

“Yeah. Shinobu Kocho.” You spell out her name in sign language. Rengoku nods.

“She has come to my place before.” You aren’t prepared for the bombshell he drops.

“Wait huh?!”

“Yes, she and Tomioka seem close.”

Oh you were most definitely not letting this shit go. You were gonna have a field day with this information.

“Make yourself comfortable,” you say. “The place is kinda a mess. I’ll grab some plates and drinks.”

Rengoku looks around the living room like a curious cat. The pastel pillows on the couch match the rug and blankets, which he could only assume Mitsuri had a hand in the color choice. The small dining table is cluttered with mail and books. And the TV’s set to a chill radio station. Your laptop and textbooks are still spread out on the living room ottoman.

“I was just doing homework before you came.”

You hand Rengoku a plate with a vanilla cupcake and set a glass of tea down on the stand before settling on the floor where you had left your belongings. You bite into the (favorite flavor) cupcake you chose, moaning at the sweet taste.

Rengoku looks between his cupcake and you then decides to settle next to you on the floor. The space between the couch and ottoman is narrow, and he’s so tall his knees bend and his broad shoulders brush against yours. He lets out a hiss as his shin collides with the wooden structure.

“You could’ve sat on the couch,” you chuckle, patting his knee. You sign back into your laptop, the device opening up the Canvas discussion post you had yet to complete.

“History?” Rengoku asks, head titling to try and see your assignment and not quite resting all the way on your shoulder.

“Yeah. I don’t really understand the question though.” And you were ready to make up random bullshit with the hopes it’d sound smart enough to warrant a passing grade.

Rengoku skimmed through the question, an intense look on his face. “Can I borrow a notebook?” He asks, gesturing towards your open Campus journal.

You nod. “Go ahead.”

Rengoku spends the forty five minutes jotting down notes on the paper, (since signing would be too complicated and having the notes to review later would be helpful), explaining in detail the question. He wrote down helpful information and even drew little diagrams that better depicted things in a visual level. By the end of his mini lesson, you had constructed arguably the most well written discussion post, you were sure your teacher would give you a decent grade.

He was honestly such a good teacher. Calm. Patient. Neat handwriting and easy to follow along. For once, you weren’t completely brain dead after doing your homework.

“Has anyone told you that you’d make a good teacher?” You write on a new page. You close your computer, then stretch, groaning slightly at how stiff you’ve gotten. Now your ass was sore from sitting on the ground for so long.

“I hope to get my teaching license after next year,” Rengoku writes underneath you.

Ah. That made sense. He was definitely good at it.

What do you want to teach?

History of course, but I’d be happy to teach anything.

What grade?

I don’t know. I like kids, so maybe middle school?

No. They’re little assholes.

(*^o^*)

What he writes next makes your chest constrict, you suck in air and fall silent.

It’s sometimes hard for deaf and hard of hearing students to go to school. We often need extra help and care, which is hard to get as there aren’t many schools with the resources and tools necessary. I want to be that resource so maybe, I can help a student enjoy school as much as I have.

Rengoku really was too kind. He had such admirable goals and remained positively optimistic. His heart was made of gold. And you…you didn’t know what you wanted to do. You were just skating by and trying your best in college but you didn’t have no definitive plans. You changed your major twice already, and only had lackluster grades. That thought alone was pretty scary and caused you a lot of anxiety.

“I really admire you, Kyojuro”

Rengoku read that sentence over and over.

He had never received that kind of praise before. Often just pitying looks and side comments that he didn’t need to hear in order to understand the implication. But, from you, he didn’t gather that at all. Yet, why did you have such a sad look on your face?

Rengoku leaned close to examine your expression. You flinched at his sudden proximity, but he simply brushed a few strands out of your face. You eyes were glossy, threatening to spill with tears.

His gaze softened.

His curved hand drags from one side of his chest to the other.

A simple sign.

A simple question.

One that threatened to break your composure.

“I’m okay.”

Rengoku didn’t move. Worry etched his features. You swear his eyes flicker from your eyes down to your lips. Your body involuntarily tenses, your breathing becoming constricted. Was that a blush dusting his cheeks?

“K-kyo…”

His lips touched yours, soft, gentle and sweet. They taste faintly of the cupcake he had earlier. A shiver ran through you as his finger traced your jaw. Your heart raced erratically, thunder in your ears.

That brief moment was all it took for Rengoku to become completely enamored. Your lips were everything he wanted and more. And for just a bit, was it selfish of him to indulge in you just a little longer?

Suddenly, you hear the front door click as the key turns. You quickly pull away, snapping out of your trance. As Mitsuri enters the apartment, you’re already standing, empty cups in hand, and walking to the kitchen.

“Oh hey Mitsuri,” you try to sound as casual as possible despite the erratic beating of your heart.

“Oh, did I interrupt something?” Mitsuri looks between you and Rengoku who remained rooted to his position in the ground, trying to still his own racing heartbeat.

He didn’t trust himself to turn around, knowing how hot his face felt, it was surely red as his hair. His fingers still tingled from your lingering touch. And he could still breathe in the remaining scent of your shampoo. It had his head spinning.

What was wrong with him?

Everything was fine just a second ago.

But he couldn’t get the look on your face out of his mind. How he just wanted to pull you into his arms and assure you that whatever was bothering you would be ok. To feel you against him. To replace that sad look with the smile he’d grown to love over the past month. And it that moment, he acted before thinking.

He wanted…

Rengoku quickly gathered his belongings. He didn’t know what you had talked about with Mitsuri, and didn’t bother to find out.

“Wait, Kyo, you’re leaving already?” You say, trying to mask your disappointment.

“I forgot! I haven’t finished my laundry!” It wasn’t a complete lie. And he didn’t want Shinazugawa throwing his stuff on the floor again.

“Oh…see you later then?”

With a smile, Rengoku pats your head. He nods to Mitsuri, before excusing himself out of your place. The door shuts with a soft close that seems to echo in your ears.

~*~

You don’t see Rengoku at all the next couple weeks and it drives you crazy.

Your group finished the project and got an A on it. Since the assignment was over, so was the group study sessions. Of course, you still see Iguro from time to time, especially with how much he hangs out with Mitsuri, but there is no sign of his roommate. And that, although you try not to show it, disappoints you.

You try so hard (with no avail) not to worry that you did something wrong but of course your brain tries to convince you otherwise. After all, he had been the one to initiate the kiss, so the attraction was there, right?

You missed his smile and his warm presence. You missed your sign language lessons and wanted to show him the new things you’ve learned on your own.

You missed him.

“Hello, earth to Y/n! Are you listening?” You snap out of your daze at Shinobu’s call. It was Friday night. Which meant, Mitsuri’s (mandatory) roommate movie night with junk food and mocktails.

“Huh?” You blink back to reality.

“Are you going to pull the popcorn out the microwave or do you hope to move it with your mind?” Her tone was both teasing and slightly sarcastic, trying to get a rise out of you. But you just robotically pull the bag out and set it on the table. Shinobu’s smile turns into a smirk as she looks to Mitsuri. “Ara. It seems like it’s worse than we thought.”

“Yep. Totally out of it,” the pink haired girl giggled. “Y/n’s completely immobilized by love-“

“Wait, what?” Now you heard that. “I’m not in love! What makes you say that?”

Your roommates wear matching mischievous looks.

“Now, don’t play dumb,” Shinobu teases. “You’ve been moping around like a heartbroken teenager with this look of longing written all across your face.”

“I-I do not!”

Mitsuri’s face softened ever so slightly, not quite looking at you with pity, but concern. “We’re just worried. Ever since Rengoku came over, you’ve been really down. Did something happen?”

“No,” you sigh, pouring the popcorn into the bowl. The buttery smell fills the kitchen. “There’s nothing going on so there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Sounds like denial to me~” Shibobu says.

“I don’t want to hear shit from the biggest tsundere here.”

Shinobu scoffs, taking a handful of popcorn. “I don’t kill the mood with my relationship drama. Now out with it. What’s going on with you and Rengoku?”

“Nothing,” you huff. You sit on the couch, hogging the bowl. Other snacks and drinks had already been set up in the living room including cookies and cupcakes from the bakery a certain someone worked part time at. “There’s nothing going on between us so leave it at that.”

“But you two seemed so close,” Mitsuri comments. You shrug and don’t elaborate further.

What was there to talk about? You hadn’t seen Rengoku one on one since the day he came over. End of story. It’s not like you two were together or anything so who were you to be privy to his whereabouts or personal life? He had better things to do than to deal with someone like you. Actual goals that you shouldn’t distract him from.

Now did he tell you all this? Well, no.

But you could gather that from how he avoided eye contact with you during the last few group study sessions and that he never read your last message, you figured he’d probably realized whatever chemistry you thought you guys had wasn’t there. And it was better to cut things off before either fell too hard.

It was for the better.

Right?

That’s why the ache in your chest hurts so bad.

Right.

“Oh, Y/n,” Mitsuri coos. She pulls you against her side, wrapping her arms around you in a tight hug. You hadn’t realized that stray tears managed to escape and trickle down your cheeks.

You furiously rub them away. “It’s fine. Let’s just start the movie.”

It was Mitsuri’s turn to select the movie for the night, so she decides to put on The Beauty and the Beast.

You mostly tune out the film, barely paying attention. Your thoughts consuming your focus.

Did Rengoku regret kissing you?

Is that why he had been avoiding you?

Why did you heart have to betray you?

Halfway through the film, Mitsuri fell asleep (despite it being one of her favorites), and Shinobu was not paying attention, scrolling through her phone.

Then, your own phone lit up with a text notification from LINE.

Rengoku: can you meet me outside?

Rengoku: we need to talk

~*~

If you had asked Rengoku Kyojuro several years ago, hell, even a couple months ago, If he thought he’d ever be in love, let alone all for someone, he’d have laughed it off. Tell you that he didn’t see it for himself. And he’d accepted that.

But something about you threw all reason out the door and all his thoughts were consumed with you. At first, being around you was good enough for him. He liked being around you, teaching you sign language and texting you about random things. Then, the more he got to know you, the more that being around you wasn’t enough.

He wanted you close. In whatever way he could. To hold your hand. To hug you. To lay your head on his shoulder while you both studied. Anything to embrace your proximity and cherish it as much as possible. And for the most part, he held himself back. Showed some restraint.

But for some reason, seeing you so vulnerable…it broke something in him and he kissed you without thinking.

Did he regret it? No. He wanted to do it again and again and would if he could.

But Rengoku didn’t know how to tell you that. He supposed he was a coward and let his own self doubts cloud his judgment and he panicked.

Suddenly, he felt a tap on his shoulder. Rengoku paused the show he was watching, some random drama you had recommended, and looked up to see Iguro standing behind the couch.

“Have you seen my iPad charger? I can’t find it?” Iguro asks.

“The black one? I don’t think so? You ask Sanemi?”

Iguro sighed. “If Shinazugawa took it then I’m not getting it back.” Rengoku stiffed a laugh as his childhood friend took a seat next to him on the couch. “I’ve been trying to find a moment to talk to you and now seems like a good time, but what’s going on between you and Y/n?”

Rengoku’s chest constricts. “What are you talking about?”

Iguro rolled his eyes. “Don’t play dumb. I noticed the awkward tension between you two during the study sessions. And you always leave quickly. Like you’re avoiding Y/n.”

Rengoku frowns, looking down at his hands.

Why exactly was he avoiding you? He didn’t even have a good reason the more he thought about it and it wasn’t in his nature to turn tail and run from something, regardless of how challenging it was. But when it came to you…it was like his normal rationale went out the window.

“I…” The words fall short. Doubt swirls in the pit of his stomach and it makes him nauseous. “I really like Y/n.” Admitting it out loud was strange. “But…it’s a scary feeling.”

It scared him how fast he fell. How hard his feelings hit him. It was overwhelming and unnerving, and he feared he fucked it up by acting without thinking when he kissed you. The way you took up his thoughts was maddening. And he was scared that he wouldn’t be enough for you.

Iguro gave his friend a soft, somewhat understandable, look. “It can be scary. But I’m sure Y/n feels the same way. You don’t have to navigate it alone, so just be honest with them.”

Rengoku sighed. “But how do I do that?”

“I could think of a few ideas, but that wouldn’t be very sincere, would it?”

After thinking for a minute, Rengoku stands and quickly rushes toward the door, grabbing his coat and putting in the first pair of shoes he could find. “I’ll be back!”

Iguro laughs. It was about time.

Rengoku texts you as he runs to your building. He’s out of breath by the time he makes it outside. He didn’t even stop to think about whether or not you’d actually show up. What if you didn’t want to see him anymore? Then what would his plan be?

He doesn’t see that you exit the building, bundled up in your jacket. But once he does, it’s a rush of emotions that makes his knees weak.

You approach, bashful, after wrangling over your thoughts for several minutes before finally deciding to hear him out. Shinobu had merely waved you off with a smirk when you said you’d be right back.

“H-hi?” You squeak out, nervously hating the way your voice always seemed to crack.

“Hi,” Rengoku exhales. He takes in your appearance. Soft features. Solemn expression. Tentatively, he reaches out, pausing to see your reaction. When you don’t pull away, he gently traces your cheek. Your chest flutters at his touch. “I’m sorry.”

“Huh? Why?”

Rengoku frowns. He takes out his phone and pulled up the message he had typed while running over to your place in the notes.

I’m sorry…I didn’t meant to hurt your feelings but I was scared. I didn’t know how to tell you that. I thought you could do better than me and I didn’t want to lose you as a friend by overstepping boundaries. But i…

He didn’t finish writing out his thoughts before arriving. So he’d try his best to tell you to your face. It’d be more sincere that way.

“I…I really-“ damn, why were words so difficult. He feels himself growing flustered and anxious At the reddening of his face, you start to giggle. Rengoku feels himself relax, watching the way your shoulders shake with laughter and the way you smile takes up your face. What was he so scared for anyway? It was you. “I like you.”

You pause. Did you hear him correctly? Hesitantly, you sign, “can you say that again?”

Rengoku takes your hands into his. His palms warm and comforting. He brings your knuckles to his lips, pressing a chaste kiss on them. “I like you, Y/n.”

Your mouth falls open slightly, but the words escape you. So you settle for a smile. “I like you too, Kyojuro.”

He glances down then back to your eyes. “Can…”

Before he could finish the question, your close the gap between the two of you, your lips on his. Rengoku sighs into the kiss, wrapping his arms around your waist to draw you in closer. You had never heard him emit a sound like that before, but you didn’t mind it.

You part briefly. White flutters down around you both.

“Snow?” You question, holding your hand out to catch the falling flakes. “Isn’t it kinda early for it to snow?”

Rengoku held his hand out too. The snowflake melts on his palm, cold and fleeting. Did falling snow make a sound? He heard that rain makes noise. Looking over to you, he watches how you try to catch the falling flakes with your tongue. A smile makes its way on to his face, the constricting tightness of his chest now settling into a gentle flutter that for once, excited him.

It was a sign of how much control you had over him. And although that thought and feeling terrified him, as long as you were in his embrace, he was okay with taking on that fear.

Extra: 手話

JSL I've learned while researching. If anyone knows JSL and there are any mistakes, please correct me! アタシは日本語を話せますけど手話のリソース、本とかビデオとか、あまり見つけられなかった…ごめん

Resources: Blog & Source

[daijoubu] / [okay]: Place the fingertips of your curved right hand on the left chest, then on the right chest.　　　

[oishii] / [tasty, delicious]: Place the open right hand palm up under the left side of the jaw and move it to the right as if wiping somethhing off of your chin.

[suki desu] / [I like you]: The web of the right hand between the thumb and index finger is pointed toward chin with the thumb and index fingers over the jaw and the rest of the fingers curled. The hand drops down and the finger and thumb meet just a little ways below the chin.

Video: here

Kyojuro's Name: きょうじゅろう

Kyo: ki + small yo (きょ)

ki: With the right hand, palm facing away from you, touch the tips of the middle and ring fingers to the tip of the thumb.

yo: The palm of the right hand faces toward you with the fingers pointing to the left and the thumb slightly tucked in.

small yo: kyo is a contracted consonant known as youon. To sign this, pull the sign toward your body.

U (う)

Make a fist with the right hand, palm facing away from you, and extend the middle and index fingers upwards.

Jyu: ji + small yu (じゅ)

shi: Point to the left with the right index and middle fingers while the thumb is extended naturally.

ji: ji is diacritic letter(? idk if that's the correct word) known as dakuon. It is the two little dashes that turn shi (し) into ji (じ). While signing shi, move your hand to the right

yu: The palm of the right hand faces toward you with the index, middle and ring fingers pointing up and the tips of the thumb and pinky finger touching.

small yu: jyu is also a youon. So to sign this, sign yu and pull the hand toward the body