#knyfe

[martygreg]

Program: Fire Alpaca

I have no idea why the shoulders change color. Other than that, i'm happy how this turned out

[incorrectsotm]

KNYFE: Whoever's salad this is in the fridge I'm taking it because I'm hungover.

Parse: Why would you drink on a work night?

KNYFE: I'm hungover from this morning dumbass!

[incorrectsotm]

KNYFE: [gesturing to the wall] Here is my wall of inspirational women

Sky Scraper:...Are those all pictures of you...?

KNYFE: Yes, I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself

[incorrectsotm]

Opening Gifts

Haka: It's a belt with mistletoe around it, how hilarious! Thank you Paige, let me get your gift.

KNYFE: Put that thing on right now and we'll call it even.

[incorrectsotm]

Tempest: Do you know how we keep warm on Vognild Prime?

KNYFE: Oh I bet I can guess.

Tempest: We play chess.

KNYFE: (Disappointed) Well I guessed wrong.

[incorrectsotm]

Tempest: Paige... I'm pregnant.

KNYFE: OK. Never expected that I'd be on this end of the conversation.

[incorrectsotm]

KNYFE and Skyscraper infiltrate F.I.L.T.E.R.

Becky Blast: (While tied up) So are you guys gonna like check that coolant leak now or-

Field Inventor: They're not maintenance! That was a lie so you'd let them in! They're here for the Infinity Cannon.

Becky Blast: I know ok. I have trouble admitting my mistakes, it's not my fault!

Sharpshooter: (Over the radio) Come in station 38, is everything in your sector clear?

KNYFE: (In a high pitched falsetto) This is station 38 reporting. We're fine, and thank you for the check in.

Sharpshooter: Roger that Becky, coming in loud and clear.

Becky Blast: WHAT!? I sound nothing like that!

Field Inventor: You do a little bit when you get frustrated.

Becky Blast: (In a high pitched falsetto) I do not! (Clears throat) I do not.

Skyscraper: It is locked down tight we'll need a command key.

Becky Blast: Never! You'll have to torture-

Field Inventor: Someone else. We don't have access to command keys.

Becky Blast: Oh right. If you need a key to the break room you have to torture us.

KNYFE: (In a high pitched falsetto) Command, I'm so incompetent and... confused... in a sexual way, that I locked my self out of the Infinity Cannon, can I pwease have a command key.

Sharpshooter: No can do Becky, you already used up your 3 lockouts this month.

Becky Blast: HA! I've saved the day.

Field Inventor: Yeah kinda.

KNYFE: (In a high pitched falsetto) Pweeeease? There's just gotta be something I can do!

Sharpshooter: Well we do need someone to clean out the waste pipeline, chili Friday really did a number on the system... because of everyone shitting.

Becky Blast: What!? NOOOOO!

KNYFE: (In a high pitched falsetto) I'll do it!

Field Inventor: Ha serves you right!

KNYFE: (In a high pitched falsetto) And my stupid friend will help too!

Field Inventor: WHAT!?

Sharpshooter: Roger that, we'll send down some hazmat suits and power washers.

KNYFE: (In a high pitched falsetto) Don't worry, we'll just do it in our denim cutoffs and we'll use my toothbrush.

Sharpshooter: ...Roger that, transmitting command keys now.

Becky Blast: NOOOOOO! I am very secure in my sexuality and do not want to clean up the chili poop! ...Also KNYFE has infiltrated the base.

Field Inventor: They can't hear you unless the button is pressed.

KNYFE: (In a high pitched falsetto) Also I want to kiss Sergeant Steel on the mouth.

Sharpshooter: (Exasperated sigh) We know Becky.

[incorrectsotm]

Skyscraper: KNYFE told me that instead of being sad, I should "go get it, girl." So I’m going to go get it, girl.

Parse: Get what?

Skyscraper: Unclear. I’ll get everything, just to be safe.