CW: Medical setting, afterlife setting, vent regression
They were still common, even now, the nightmares.
Memories of darkness and pain and a crushing anxiety and loneliness the likes of which he had never thought possible. Of scary monsters lurking in every corner with hundreds of eyes that watched him. Scrutinized him. Of strangers who never knew him and never cared to know him staring him down as he backed into the maw of a mechanical beast, engulfing him with a deafening whir until—
Kokichi woke with a choked, startled gasp on air he shouldn't need.
The hospital room was dark, and eerily quiet with no heart monitor to fill the silence. His lungs were tight as he wheezed through the oxygen mask—a superficial remedy for a deeper, incurable ailment. His entire body ached, and his head was a soupy, discombobulated mess. He whined, blearily pawing at the uncomfortable mask, tears clinging to his eyes.
He sniffled, then coughed when his lungs refused to cooperate, then choked out a stifled sob as the tears spilled over. It was hard to think, it hurt too much, everything was so big and he just a tiny, frail thing. It was lonely. He curled up the best he could, clutching the purple jacket he refused to take off more tightly around him.
It was so cold, being dead.
"Koko...?"
So caught up in his upset, Kokichi hadn't even noticed the presence beside him. Toto-nii groggily reached out to wrap an arm around him, pulling him back against his chest. Kokichi let him, feeling the gentle pressure of the embrace. The tears kept coming, and he shakily tried to wipe them away.
Kokichi tried to ignore that the embrace wasn't as warm as it should be.
"Hey, what's wrong, bud...?" His voice was heavy with sleep. He yawned. "You have a bad dream?"
"U-uh-huh..." Kokichi nodded. Laying on his side like he was, the mask on his face pressed uncomfortably into the pillow. He whined and pawed at it, shoving it off. What'd it matter if it hurt to breathe? He shouldn't need to breathe in the first place. It was dumb. Everything was dumb. And hurt. And wasn't fair.
"Hey now, don't do that," Toto-nii gently chastised him. More awake now, he propped himself up on one elbow to reach around and fix the mask. "You need that for your lungs."
"Don' wan' it, Toto-nii!" Kokichi bawled. Stuck with his back to Toto-nii, he couldn't even hide away in his chest. He had no strength to turn himself around. Instead, he pushed Toto-nii's hand with the mask away and curled up more, burying his face in his hands. "Don' wan' it, don' wan' it, don' wan' it!"
He couldn't take it anymore. Couldn't take the hurt and the fog in his head and the cold and it was dark and scary and everyone kept trying to give him medicine to make it hurt less but it made the foggy head more so he didn't wanna and he could barely move and he couldn't breathe and he couldn't think and the itchy mask was just the last straw!
And then Toto-nii's arms were securely around his trembling shoulders again, and Kokichi could feel the faint puff of his breath in his hair.
"You wanna go stargazing?" he asked softly.
Kokichi wiped his tears again and nodded.
The hospital was nearly empty, practically for show, so sneaking out wasn't the most difficult thing in the world. Kokichi couldn't walk, but that was little issue for the great Luminary of the Stars, who made sure the small boy was securely bundled up in his jacket before hoisting him onto his back. Kokichi draped his arms over Toto-nii's shoulders, sleepily resting his cheek against his back as they snuck through the dim halls.
It was cold, just like Kokichi was, and lacked the gentle tempo of a heart, just like Kokichi did. But that was okay, because it was Toto-nii, and if Kokichi closed his eyes, the sway and pace of his steps felt almost like a heartbeat.
A kind lie.
The sky was clear and the grassy hill the hospital was on was soft. Toto-nii gently lowered Kokichi to the ground so he could sprawl out on his jacket, then sat down to join him a moment later. Together they looked at the stars and Toto-nii told Kokichi stories about how they were formed and the ways they gathered in sweeping galaxies. The stars here were different than the ones they knew, but a lot more real than the projected screen of that dark, scary place.
Toto-nii talked about how, when they got better enough to leave the hospital, he wanted to study the new stars here. Kokichi wanted to hear the stories Toto-nii would tell about them, too.
For better or for worse, they were out of there. They were here now, and if nothing else, they were together.
Kokichi could doze off again with Toto-nii's words reassuring him of that.
Hello there! There are so many Kokichis that I got confused about which one to ask this question to. So, sorry about that!
Here is the same question(s) that I asked a different account:
Hello, Kokichi, Koko, Kichi, Loopy, Cookie, Joker, and any other iterations of the Ultimate Supreme Leader there are!
I have a question for you all. Do you each own your own version of D.I.C.E? Or are you all a part of the same organisation? If it is the latter, then do you all share equal ownership, or is there someone in charge?
I'd also like to know if you are all Ultimate Supreme Leaders or if each of your talent titles (or the talents in general) have variations between them.
Furthermore, are there any other differences between each of you, whether that be your behaviour, your emotions, your identities, any physical differences, or even your birthdays? Or are you identical copies to one another with the exception of your names?
Apologies for the mixup!
- Saber
Hello, hello, hello! No worries! We thought it was VERY funny, honest! You're right, there ARE a lot of us, and the doppelganger over there definitely doesn't make it any easier! As for your questions, though...
Me, oh my, though, where do we begin? Since there are so many of us, it's hard for all of us to clamor over each other to answer one ask. Soooooo for simplicity's sake I, Kichi, the one who's been around the longest (Six-ish years now! Crazy!) and arguably the mod's FAVORITE (or maybe that's a lie!) will give you a quick SparkNotes rundown of the Oumas we have.
Of course, I reserve the right to claim any and all of this MAY be a lie. You'll have to confirm with the others!
Let's get started, shall we? (This is a bit of a whopper, so under a cut it goes!)
Are you identical copies to one another with the exception of your names?
So, first and foremost a big thing with us is that we're not really copies of each other so much as alternate version from different universes. We're all Ouma Kokichi, and we've taken to our various nicknames to better differentiate between us!
That being said, there are a lot of commonalities between us:
Our overall beliefs (anti-harassment, anti-punitive justice, the subjectivity of truth, etc.)
Our playful demeanor (also some of us play rougher than others, I'll get to that)
Our lack of a sense of taste (a lie)
Our Talent as Ultimate Supreme Leader (possibly another lie, you'll have to ask the others because they're liars, unlike me, who only ever tells the truth!)
The Tragedy really happened and it wasn't a Real Fiction universe (at least, for most of us to our knowledge; not everyone has the memories to confirm or could be lying)
No, the big differences mostly fall under our experiences, namely the events that occurred in our respective universes. However, those differences in experiences do have an effect on the... I guess the flavor of Ouma we exude? Subtle variations, which makes sense considering everyone's unique experiences shape them into the person they are!
That being said, there are two major camps in general divergence that help sort things out a little between us: whether or not our killing game was a simulation, or more specifically, time loops.
Oumas whose killing game is a simulation and/or time loop and death is temporary:
Me (Kichi (remembers all of my loops (lie), 162+ loops so far (lie))
Loopy (does not remember his loops, 82+ loops so far)
Joker (remembers his loops, 467+ loops so far)
Petty (remembers most of his loops, ~93+ loops so far that he knows of)
Oumas whos killing game is not a simulation and death is permanent:
Me (Kichi (Dying (lie)))
Cookie (Dead)
Koko (Dead)
Bindle (Alive (for now))
Cusp (Dead)
Ender (Alive (barely))
Gemini (Dead)
Moonpie (Alive (I think (could be a lie)))
Do you each own your own version of D.I.C.E? Or are you all a part of the same organization?
Not all of us have a DICE, no! At least, it depends on the universe!
Oumas who are known to have had DICEs in their home universe:
Cookie (had a "canon" DICE as seen in his motive video)
Bindle (his DICE are a psychosis/headmate thing, he hasn't told us which it is just that they're there and they talk to him a lot)
Cusp (had a "canon" DICE similar to Cookie, PLUS his Amami-chan, who was also a member)
Gemini (his DICE was the entire V3 cast, actually! He's talked about this in one of his essays)
Oumas who are known to not have a DICE in their home universe:
Me (Kichi (lie))
Everyone else has not made mention of ever having a DICE where they came from. Well, except Joker, but Joker's story about his DICE parrots Cookie's so closely that it's hard to tell if he's lying or not.
If it is the latter, then do you all share equal ownership, or is there someone in charge?
HERE, though, it gets a little more interesting! Among the many killing game folk who live here (because we have MORE than just Oumas, y'know!) Cookie has actually gone out of his way to start a new faction of DICE after death.
Umami-chan (an Amami) and I are members of that new faction, among some others who do not use this blog! Cookie's the de facto leader, but whenever he needs a break due to post-death medical issues or whatever, I step up in his place. I'm the Ultimate Substitute Supreme Leader you might say!
Gemini is also working on getting his own DICE back from the grave! So far, he's managed to get back his Akamatsu (Lyra) and Hoshi (Ursa), as well as a couple of others (Momota and Amami) who, again, aren't on this blog.
Aside from that, us Oumas still have a tendency to cluster together in groups because as Supreme Leaders, camaraderie is what we do best! The other loopers (Loopy, Petty, and Joker) have formed a little gaggle and they try to check in with each other. Or at least, Loopy does. He's a sweetheart and worries about the other two a lot.
Furthermore, are there any other differences between each of you?
Like I said before, a lot of our differences are rooted in our experiences, and most are pretty subtle! Just for fun, though, here are some of the major differences for a few of us:
I'm pretty sure in my universe, Saihara is the mastermind. Like, 76.326% sure! (Kichi (lie))
I (Kichi) also prior to the killing game was a subject in some weird underground facility, where I grew up as far back as I can remember and everything I knew about the world came purely from TV and whether or not the things I got to ask the doctors to bring me once a week was actually possible to get and confirm they were real, but don't worry about it that's a lie! Makes a fun crazy story, though, right?
Cookie's plan to fool Monokuma with the hydraulic press actually worked and ended their killing game early! We found all this out from his Momota (Plum), who unfortunately still died from his illness after the fact. Bummer.
Loopy is the younger brother of Tsumiki Mikan, and was raised by the Remnants of Despair through the Tragedy until the Future Foundation apprehended them and put him in foster care with a shiny new family name.
Bindle found his Amami as he was dying in the library, and plans to throw the trial and take Akamatsu's place as Blackened after tipping everyone off about the potential canon he's learned about here so he can just spend his afterlife here with his Amami.
Petty had to eat his Amami when they got trapped starving in a cave! (lie)
Ender was the one who took the shot put ball to the head in his universe. Thankfully he's not dead, as the culprit had a change of heart afterward just quickly enough to get him help, but he's in critical condition in his home universe now with only Momota's astronaut emergency first aid to help him. He's not usually, like. Conscious. Obviously.
As stated before, Gemini's DICE was the entire V3 cast. They were a counter-organization to the Future Foundation, which is a lot more corrupt in his universe. They had a lot of projects going on to assist with Tragedy reconstruction in places the FF willfully turned a blind eye to, and were planning to overthrow them entirely. According to Gem, the FF themselves were the ones that caught them and put them in their killing game.
Aaaaand that's about the most pressing bits about it! We all have our own little blurbs in the Directory if there's anyone in particular you're more interested in, with our individual tags and tags for flash fiction series our dearest mods (mostly Pick with his AitCM Challenge, let's be real here) have been working on to put our stories in writing!
If you're curious on our thoughts about our various experiences from our own perspective, though, you can pop more questions in our inbox or take a look at our X on Y Essay tag, where some of us go on little tangents about inane things!
Thanks so much for the ask! It was fun getting to answer something serious for a change! We hope to hear from you again!
May I ask what your "Toto-nii's" coat looks like? Do you have any other unique accessories or clothes compared to other Kokichis in your headspace, such as a different scarf, different clothes under the coat, different shoes, any jewelry, pin badges, stickers, and so on?
Thank you!
- Saber
Oooooh! Um, Toto-nii's coat is big! And 'urple! And has pretty stars and spacey stuff on the inside! Like to wear it like a cape or cloak like a super hero or leader! The sleeves are looooong and flipfloppy and I like that. It's cozy like a blanket! Makes me feel super small and itty bitty to wrap up in.
He gived it to me special before I died, for a super special secret plan, and I gived him my scarf, so I don't have it no more... Miss my scarf sometimes...
But got a new one here that Toto-nii gived me when I got here, so it's okay! Fankyoo for the question!
Do you have any other unique accessories or clothes compared to other Kokichis in your headspace, such as a different scarf, different clothes under the coat, different shoes, any jewelry, pin badges, stickers, and so on?
Are you physically different from them in any way, too? For example, different eye colour, hair style, being slightly shorter or taller, and so on?
Koko,
I'm super sorry, I know I just asked you a question, but I forgot to ask you about the physical appearance part. Are you physically different from them in any way, too? For example, different eye colour, hair style, being slightly shorter or taller, and so on?
Thank you!
- Saber
I stick to comfier, baggy clothes because they're easier for my exhausted ass to wear. Being dead has its downsides, especially when you died the way I did! I like the monochrome vibe, but I throw in splashes of color with blankets and whatnot. I'm chronically cold (also because I'm dead) so I usually have a blanket on me.
Like Kichi said, my scarf is sentimental. The checker pattern is a calling card for DICE, and while it doesn't have to be a scarf like mine, every member has an accessory of some kind with a checker pattern. Ideally it'd be black and white, but Kichi can do what he wants, I'm not gonna start a fight over it.
I think the one really fancy outfit I have that's special to me is my yukata for the summer festivals we have in this city starting in June. It's a purple checker pattern, with a green obi. Ran-chan's got a green yukata with a purple obi to match. Lock and Pick's older brother made them for us.
As for physical appearance, like the others said, I don't differ much overall but I am super pale and sick-looking on account of being a DOA. I wear my hair the same and it looks the same as the others, but Shumai styles it special to thin it out or something so it doesn't get as greasy and is less work to deal with.
Everything's an accessibility issue for me. That's kinda sad now that I think about it.
-Cookie
No, no sorry! Questions are fun! I dun think I look different though? Am dead like Cookie, though! So look icky sick alla time!
Sometimes it occurs to me how little we know about Koko, actually. I was scrolling through our old stuff for funsies and stumbled across that one unreliable narrator chart I did to plot where everyone was in terms of their lying style? I put Koko smack in the middle because we didn't really know anything to assess him on.
If I did the whole thing again now, I'd still put him smack in the middle. We know nothing.
