Jikook Dynamics vs Other BTS Ships' Dynamics
PREFACE
In a fandom filled with wannabe thugs and edgy shippers obsessed with outing their idols by randomly and whimsically labeling every ship they like as real, perhaps out of negligence and a spirit of competitiveness making it hard to discern which ship, if ever there was one that was, is real; a discourse of this nature is very much needed.
I'm not trying to start a war. I'm simply inviting you to take a critical look at these ships to decide for yourself which one of them is most likely to be real- hypothetically speaking.
In my last post, I stated that there is only one Alternative ship in BTS and that is Jikook. This post is an attempt to shed light on my thought process and explain why I think Jikook is real.
Jikook vs Taekook sounds grim, but I'm going to start off with those two ships simply because they are the two largest ships in BTS at the moment.
Now I am not going to throw around any of the cliches and say stuff like: Jikook are together all the time so they are real. Tae touched Jk's shoulder so- real.
Jikook plays footsies and give each other boners- real. Tae rubbed JK's thigh- sexual tension- real. Tae treats JK as a brother- incest- not real. Jimin says JK is his dongsaeng- can't be real.
Or even ridiculous stuff like, one ship is Fanservice while the other is not- that is basic rookie delulu mentality. On my blog we try not to be basic.
For me, for any of these ships to be real, they must mimic real life romantic relationships, taking into consideration the sociocultural backgrounds the members within the ship are coming from.
They must have all if not most of the requirements for a real life romantic relationship- regardless of whether that is healthy or toxic.
Let's face it, real life relationships aren't exactly perfect. There's codepency, and a degree of toxicity in almost every relationship as much as there are healthy relationship dynamics out there.
A perfectly healthy relationship is an aspiration not the norm. Thus I won't dismiss a ship simply because the interactions between the members may appear toxic. Know what I mean?
It is my understanding that most people who enter into romantic relationships do so because they have needs they want to satisfy. This need could be emotional, physical, sexual or even spiritual in nature.
In a perfect relationship, all your needs will be met by your partner whereas a toxic relationship would have an imbalance of these needs skewed in favor of one party to the detriment of the other.
Thus, when it comes to these ships, it's important that we look at the needs of the individual members to see whether those needs are being met by the person they are being shipped with.
Not only do they have to meet each other's needs, they have to actively takes steps towards the fulfillment of those said needs.
In order to ascertain their needs, we ought to take into consideration these things: their personalities and how that affects their dynamics within the ship, their individual ideals and aspirations, their ideologies about love and what their individual love language is or could be.
I will be discussing each member's love language and ideals: how they recieve love and how they give love- under respective headings and since JK is a common denominator in both ships, I will be juxtaposing each member with him for comparisons sakes.
TAEHYUNG:
Tae doesn't open up much about his feelings and aspirations in life as much as or as often as or even as blatantly as JK or Jimin have done so over the years, in my opinion.
To understand his love language we would have to understand the love language that his primary care givers have given him- very Freudian of me I know.
Tae have talked about how his father is his role model and how he aspires to be like him- taking care of his family and listening to the needs of his children. So we can assume his ideal self is to be a man like his father- a provider, a listener, and a protector.
Which means to express his love for someone he would provide for them, protect them, and listen to them.
He expresses this sentiment in Stigma when he says he cried because he couldn't protect someone he clearly loved. So protecting his love one is high up on his priorities.
Also, it seems his grandmother (a warm and affectionate woman- may she rest in peace) have influenced him a lot with the kindness and tenderness with which she catered for him in his early days.
She is a symbol of what Tae would want emotionally from a partner in order to be fulfilled in a relationship. From this we can assume Tae values affection, nurturing and kindness as these are things he interprets as loving gestures.
Another thing the members have said about Tae is that he likes to ask before he does anything. And that he is quite elaborate and pays attention to details.
Now I won't construe this to mean he likes to ask for permission before he embarks on any endeavor simply because I don't see him as that docile. Rather, I construe this to mean he is a gentleman, that he likes to understand things before he does them.
What this means is that, the person he would want to be in a loving intimate relationship with must be one that he truly and fully understands.
Tae thus has an innate need to be heard and understood. Which comes from his father who listened and paid attention to his needs and his grandmother who was such a nurturer.
To love him you must be kind and affectionate, gentle, understanding, comforting, a good listener and a natural nurturer.
Now, there's only one person in BTS that I know and have seen who meets this criteria for Tae and it is not JK.
Between JK and Jimin, Jimin is the better nurturer. To be fair JK is not one very good at openly sharing his thoughts and his heart and so people might argue he just doesn't show his nurturing side with Tae- if you think like this I'm silently judging you.
Half of the interactions between VMin are off camera and we've seen how Jk expresses himself his feelings with others in other ships. Let's call a spade a spade: Jk does not speak Tae's love language.
Besides Jimin, Suga is the next to meeting Tae's requirement. I mean, Tae has described his ideal girl as someone with a cold exterior but a warm heart- that sounds like the girl version of Yoongi to me. Lol
Tae has described JM in his epistles and songs as a very kind and caring friend who listens to his needs. A person he finds easiest to talk to and often share his pain and sorrow with. It's no secret that VMin are emotionally attached to each other.
Taekook is a beautiful duo but they just don't speak each other's love language to be classified as an Alt Ship or a real couple.
To the best of my knowledge, when it comes to Tae, no member in BTS speaks Tae's love language. Not even Jimin. But Jimin comes close to it.
I see Tae's love language in the kinds of things he expresses joy in or discontent with. Tae loves physical affection, he loves touching and he loves to be touched. He loves being cuddled, being playful and carefree.
However, this side of him has been described as weird, alien-ish by all the members including Jimin. Jimin has referred to this side of him as innocent and naive.
Jimin really understands Tae but even they themselves admitted in Friends that they don't fully understand certain aspects of eachother. And the fact all BTS don't understand this aspect of Tae's personality implies Tae may not be able to connect emotionally and deeply with any of them including JK.
A person romantically invested in him would not only make effort to understand who he is but would have to love and accept him for who he is and reassure and affirm his feelings.
Even with Jimin, how many times have we seen Tae complain about missing Jimin, or wanting to spend quality time alone with him, trying to seperate Jk from Jimin or acting jealous when Jimin isn't fully present with him?
Jimin loves Tae but he too does not speak to Tae's love language.
Tae is a giver. He has a lot of love to give and for him to have a fulfilling relationship he needs a reciever. Someone will to receive the love he offers and reciprocate it.
It seems to me that the kind of man Tae wants to be doesn't align with the kind of man he is currently is and so he keeps working towards that goal.
For him to become that ideal man, he needs a partner who encourages, nurtures him and supports him to be that man.
For instance, in his love letter to Jimin, Tae explained how Jimin gives to him and how he keeps taking and taking from Jimin and doesn't give back - something it seemed he felt bad for doing.
He wants to be a better man and live up to the reputation of his father. To be the provider and protector and nurturer his loved ones needs.
For Taekook to be real, JK would have to be fulfilling this role in Tae's life; cameras or no cameras.
You can hide a relationship but you can never hide intimacy and so I don't buy all these theories about them hiding their relationship or BigHit hiding them.
If there was intimacy in there we wound all have seen it. All I see is their skinship and friendship- a trait you'll find in any ship.
JUNGKOOK:
Sigh. This man. Where should I begin from?
I see a lot of similarities between Tae and JK- personality wise. They've said it themselves, they are like two peas in a pod.
They share similar needs as well in their love language. But that isn't necessarily a good thing. When it comes to love languages it's opposites that attract.
One must be willing to give while the other takes and vice versa. So Tae must be willing to give to JK what Jk needs in an intimate relationship. And what does JK need? His independence. Self assertiveness for starters.
If you know JK, you'd know the one thing he hates is to be babied.
Suga have said JK knows what he wants and what he doesn't want. He is not wrong. Jk is one of the most assertive members of BTS. But he wasn't always this assertive.
Jin and RM both said JK's exterior was just for show. That he was a bit of a pushover in the early days, and wouldnt assert himself much. He would just accept anything but would quickly put up a barrier if it was something he didn't want.
Now I found this quite interesting, because JK in the early days to me seemed very assertive. I saw it in the way he would insist on doing his own laundry, or even 'push' JM away when he tried to initiate skinship or whatever the fuck JM was trying to do with JK back then- Sweet Lord, I never want to revisit that timeline. EVER.
Jk seemed to be very independent even at that early age. And so I felt the members description of him was a bit conflicting. Some said he was shy and a pushover, others said he was a rebel and a blunt person.
Then it occurred to be that, perhaps JK was just suppressing his assertive and dominant side during this time in order to fit into the Maknae persona carved out for him within the group.
To be the youngest, he had to be the quiet shy boy who was submissive to his hyungs. Cultural wise, being the youngest in the group came with a preemptive subordination. And so he had to constantly suppress and repress certain aspects of his personality and live up to the image of the perfect Maknae- the Golden Maknae.
JK had said he was given a lot of room to be himself growing up with his family with little to no control and was only corrected when he was wrong.
However being in a group dynamics, suddenly that self autonomy he had been exposed to at an early age was taken away. He had to subject himself to 6 boys older than him, several managers and a company that was legally required to keep him in check.
That shy, quiet introvert, as much as it bore close resemblance to his true self was a persona.
Both him and Jimin's persona in their early days were nothing but facades, masqueraded identities they had both woven for themselves in order to fit into this bigger picture of idol life.
I call this personal their idol selves.
Jimin had hinted several times how JK was different off camera but that was the same thing the other members were saying about Jimin- that he was the most different off camera.
Over the years both Jimin and JK have learned to drop their Idol personas as both of them are constantly peeling back the covers and unlearning their old identities in order to come into their own, actualized and authentic true self.
Jimin went through this phase faster than JK and I feel Jk is slowly, gradually getting there especially this 2019/2020. You can see this in the way he has been exploring and experimenting with his style lately- he out here dressing like a lesbian from Wisconsin. Lol. Bless him.
Dude is asserting himself- or quite possibly having an identity crisis but chilllleeeee! Let's not talk about that!
What I'm saying is, self assertiveness and autonomy is a huge emotional need of JK's in a relationship. In my opinion of course.
Remember his rain fight with Jimin? Sounds to me he felt his self autonomy was being threatened by Jimin's persistent nature- a reoccurring theme in their dynamics pre 2016.
Jk is very independent. It seems also that he wants to be seen as a manly man- RM's words not mine. He seems to want to be treated as and seen as an adult within the group dynamics.
So the question I ask is, which of these two members- Tae and JM treats JK as a manly man, as his own man and most importantly allows him to be a 'man' over them?
It is not Tae.
JK's need to be seen as a man can be attributed to a myriad of things but for the sake of y'all's sanity I'll limit it to him wanting to be the best version of himself- his ideal self.
Interestingly, his ideal self looks more like Jimin's ideal man and not Tae's.
The way I see him, it feels as if he is and has molded himself to be more of Jimin's ideal man. He wants to be seen as a viable qualified equal partner to Jimin.
He wants to be Jimin's partner, his equal not his subordinate. Not his dongsaeng.
Whether you see it or not, hierarchy plays a huge role in Korean culture and Jk is at the bottom of that hierarchy within the group yet for some reason he insists on seeing and treating Jimin as his equal in rank.
Very often, Jimin describes JK as an immature child, his younger brother. Yet most often he is also the only person out of all the seven to treat Jk like an adult- his equal.
Suga said in the early days that he was fascinated by the fact that JK insists on treating JM as his age mate and not his hyung. Jimin noticed that about JK too early on but I feel he didn't fully comprehend what was going on with JK at the time.
And what was happening was, JK wanted to be his true self with Jimin. His primary care givers through whom he received loved never made him feel like a subordinate. His mother who was older than his father never made him feel like she was the eldest.
Thus if he was seeing Jimin as an intimate friend there was no way he was going to see him as anything but his equal.
As much as Jimin waved the hyung card over JK, JK just didn't treat and still doesn't treat Jimin as his hyung. He can't. Why? Because that would require him to be subordinate to Jimin- the very opposite of his equal partnership love language.
Jk is assertive but more so very assertive with JM and over Jimin. And Jimin allows him to because guess what? Jimin figured it out.
Jimin understands that it's not just JK's personality to be assertive it is also a need requirement of his love language. So when he is allowing Jk to treat him as an equal within their dynamics, he understands he is speaking Jk's love language.
Hell, they both speak each other's love language. But Jimin didn't always understand JK in this way. He had to learn the hard way.
Jimin is a natural nurturer out of all the seven. And yet in their early days he suppressed this part of him and wanted to be seen as something he was not.
He wanted to be the quintessential manly man man- protective, provider, pursuer, leader and basically everything JK doesn't want from a love partner. Lol
This is why I see Taekook as anything but real. There is an imbalance of power within their dynamics. I do not see Taekook as an equal partnership. If they were we'd know. The members would have mentioned it.
As it stands the only person JK treats as an equal is Park Jimin.
What Jk connected to the most, perhaps because he was away from home and needed that comfort that only family could give him was Jimin's nurturing side I think- I said nurturing and not feminine. They are not the same.
In a 2014 interview, JK said he saw Jimin as a hyung most when he comforted him when he cries or when he misses his family. He's said Jimin loves his more than his own brother.
It's just the way he kept associating Jimin with family even as far back as 2013 that just does it for me.
In this same interview- 2014, where Jikook talked about their relationship and Jk was a bit salty about JM not waking him up the morning of that interview. JM had said he and Jk did everything together and even woke eachother up. Upon which Jk was quick to interject and point out his disappointment with JM for not waking him up that morning.
Jimin seemed surprised that Jk was hurt by that. He didn't understand that him caring for Jk in that way was something Jk interpreted as love and affection.
I am yet to see a moment between Taekook that JK has interpreted as his understanding of love and affection even platonic wise.
Jk has a very soft side to him. That is the side his love dwells. It is not in the glances prolonged by subpar editing, or the fist bumps, petting, or skinship that both shippers of these ships drool over.
So yea, Jk wants to be a provider, a protector, a gentleman- to be treated as an equal and not a dongsaeng. Did you see his face when Jimin pet his hair while calling him a child in this year's Festa? That cringe, my God! Lol
And guess which member out of BTS treats him as the youngest Maknae and not an equal? All of BTS- except Jimin.
- Tae squishing JK's cheeks, teasing him, scolding him etc is all cute and fun but those are not acts JK interprets as love. Those are just Tae's love language. That is how Tae chooses to show his love to not just JK but everyone including Yeontan.
And again, all these people respond to him differently- even Yeontan. That dog don't respect Tae for shit. Bless them.
But yea, some of the members enforce their hyung status with Tae, some don't but with JK because JK is much younger, he would always act as the dongsaeng to Tae and the rest except Jimin.
Now you may choose to interpret all these acts of skinship between these pairs as overtly romantic which is fine but the question you have to ask yourself is whether these supposedly romantic acts are acts JK or Tae interpret as romantic acts based on their understanding of love and romance. I argue it's not.
Why? Because again, in that same interview I mentioned earlier, when Jimin described their relationship as love and friendship JK felt awkward about it which made Jimin clarify that he meant love in a platonic sense of the word.
It seems not only does JK associate Jimin with family but also he associates Jimin with nonplatonic feelings. I mean, Jimin was that man's whole sexual awakening. If you know, you know.
It seems to me that Jimin is everything JK wants in a partner from his looks to his talents and his social status. He see's in Jimin his ideal man and so tries to mold himself to also be that ideal man for JM.
Now, some shippers claim Taekook have had some sexual tensions between them over the years... alright then!
To be fair, I have seen those moments. I just don't see any epic sexual awakening beyond the advanced editing in there. And to be fair, Jikookers do this too hence I disregard all such moments-
Nobody is allowed to manipulate my perception of their reality except me. Lmho.
My point is, JK doesn't see skinship as an expression of romantic affection, he doesn't view lack of boundaries as an indication of love interest. And frankly neither does Jimin or Tae. It is why I look at Jikookers with curious suspicion when they claim early days Jimin was in love with JK.
The way I see their dynamics, JK fell first- but that's not what this post is about.
To Jk love is about dependability and reliability-you gotta be there for him too. Jk likes having a clutch, something familiar to fall back onto. You could tell by the time they had that interview in 2014 he had already imprinted on Jimin.
He was expecting Jimin to wake him up because he felt he could rely on him to do that consistently without fail. Expectations had already begun forming between them but you could it was one sided.
Jimin had no idea JK had these expectations of him. And for JK to have such expectations it meant trust had also been built and he felt Jimin was a safe space to park his heart.
I don't see that in Taekook dynamics. Please show it to me- for academic purposes.
Jk values efforts too. He appreciates when people put in efforts with him. And which member within the group does he admire most because of the efforts he puts into things? Jimin.
Jimin tries for him. He tries to be there for JK. He tries to reassure him, affirm him, validate him; even in moments that they are being supposedly separated JM still tries. It is why JK does the same and more for him.
So when y'all tell me Taekook got separated and aren't putting in the effort at least for each other, I wonder if y'all even understand these people you are shipping together.
Jk views love as nurturing, supportive in my opinion. He values exclusivity-which comes from his territorial and possessive nature, companionionship- he wants to go everywhere with you and be near you all the time, affirmation- openly claiming him, and letting others know you are not ashamed to be with him and that you are proud to be his-
This I feel is a reflection of his parents relationship: seeing his mother not being ashamed that he is with someone much younger than she is.
Age difference comes with stigma at times, especially in a group that views hierarchy as important and where the youngests are viewed as inherently subordinate.
Jk wants to be praised, appreciated for the efforts he puts into things. That is seen in his competitive nature. Winning comes with rewards- appreciation of ones efforts.
And out of all the 6 boys, who often praises him at will? Jimin.
He enjoys being a priority? Who doesn't?
Out of the two ships, the person I see often doing all of these where JK is concerned is Jimin: JK is strong, JK will protect me- that is him speaking JK's love language.
He allows JK to be his 'hyung' which is just his way of allowing JK to be the man he wants to be- which is a provider and a protector.
I can go on and on but it's already been two days!
I will skip Jimin's love language and make a seperate post about it.
CONCLUSION
Jk's ideal self is to be a protector and a provider and so often he expresses his love for others by providing for them and protecting them.
It is why I feel he 'rejected' Jimin so much during their early days. I am using rejected for lack of a better word. Jimin wanted to be the provider, the protector, the one pursuing a connection with JK and you just could tell that just wasn't what JK wanted from him. Jk wanted to be that for Jimin.
For Jimin to be the provider and protector JK had to be the nurturer which he of course struggled with because to be a nurturer you'd have to have a sophisticated understanding of human emotions, be brave to enough to be vulnerable or put yourself out there and just plain care.
Who does that sound like to you? To me that's Jimin.
In order to for Jikook to work, JM had to relinquish his hyung status to JK. Something Jimin was more than happy to do. He has said that his masculine side has an equal amount of femininity to it and they cancel each other out.
Jimin can protect and provide for himself but he relinquishes that control to JK and defers to him.
Jk is not hard to figure out. He is a hopeless romantic. You just have to pay attention and listen to his nonverbal clues. Something Jimin has learned to do and perfected over the years. Dude can recite JK like the ten commandments.
You don't do that unless you are trying to speak your love interest's love language. And each time Jimin says Jk is strong he will protect me he is speaking JKs love language.
How many times have we seen JM pass snacks to JK to open for him? In Soop, he passed the Ramen spice to JK to cut open for him. That shit makes JK happy which is why he does it. Jimin makes JK feel and be the man he wants to be. Nobody in BTS does that for him. Nobody.
Jk speaks Jimin's love language too. His entire existence he's tried to mold himself to be Jimin's ideal man. He observes all of Jimin's relationships with the others and you can see he has picked aspects of their personalities that he thinks Jimin connects with:
RM's English speaking capabilities because RMs intelligence is something JM really admires. JM likes his men to look a certain type of way and JK tries to look that same way too. Tae's emotional vulnerability, Jin's ability to listen, Hobi's playfulness, Suga's passion for music- He realy is trying to get the ring. Lmho
There's a lot I want to say on love languages. A lot!
Jikook speak eachother's love language through and through. They are the only pair in BTS that does this! All the other ships are cute and they have beautiful heart swooning moments but when it comes to speaking each other's love languages it's crickets and that includes Taekook.
Interestingly, people within the fandom dismiss Jikook's love language as fanservice. What y'all call fanservice is one of Jimin's love language!
Jimin is a guy who receives flowers from his father on his birthday's wherever he is in the world. He is quite the sentimental guy and a hopeful romantic.
He enjoys the PDA, holding hands in public, wearing couple outfits, celebrating valantines, taking strolls on beaches, checking all answers with his man. Flirting on social media, being the first to wish his man a happy birthday at 0.0 oclock, matching tattoos- you didn't hear this from me though. Lol
Jk doesn't do these kinds of things but he does them anyway because it makes Jimin happy. That is how he speaks JM's love language. Openly showing JM affection makes JM very happy because that is one of JM's love languages!
They are constantly around each other because quality time is their shared love language, being territorial, being attentive to eachother's needs, publicly claiming eachother, acceptance, allowing each other to be the best of themselves- all these are Jikook's shared love language.
Jimin prioritizes Jk, gives him his undivided attention, makes JK the center of his world, claims him, lifts him up because that is JK"s love language camera or no camera. That is how they build their intimacy.
Is Jikook real?? Are you paying attention?
Listen, there is nothing wrong with conventional shipping- enjoying the bond and relationship between the men in these ships platonic wise or even assuming there is a romantic relationship between them. As long as you know the difference between what's real and what's just a fantasy in this regard.
You don't have to force certain serious labels with serious repercussions onto your ship or assume a ship is something that it is not before you can enjoy them. That is such a weird mind set to have.
Jikook and Taekook are both ships and neither of them need to be real to be enjoyable. Not every ship is or has to be an alternative ship. You can enjoy your ship either way.
So when I hear all these conspiracy theories about how Taekook doesn't enjoy showing off their bond, or how BigHit is cutting moments and hiding ships I become exasperated.
Taekook don't speak each other's love language because they aren't romantically interested in each other.
Taekook had a Vlive. Jk was super stressed out during that live( he said so later on weverse himself after the live) because it was his first quasi solo live in a long time and Tae couldn't even tell JK was tensed.
You think if it were Jimin he wouldn't have picked up on it? New Jersey VLive? Hello?
It is little moments like these that makes you wonder.... Tae does a better Job at picking on Jimin's cues more so than he does JK. Remember when he spotted Jikook flirting behind him while he was filming and his face dropped? Remember when Jimin was listening to JK sing and he asked if Jimin was nervous?
So he can tell when Jimin is nervous but he can't tell when his own 'boyfriend' is tensed up? Chilllleeeeee!
In the new Jersey Vlive Jimin picked up on Jk's tensed mood real fast and rubbed JK's chest to release his tension- an act JK does to himself when he is tensed. This comes from knowing and understanding your partner's needs.
Now I am not calling Tae a bad friend. What I am saying is he speaks a different language totally different from JK's or even Jimin's.
Taekook don't need eachother. They each need a Jimin- as far as Love language is concerned. In my opinion.
Another difference is that, even though JK wants to provide and protect he doesn't have a burning need to make decisions in a relationship.
I see often people get confused about their power dynamics because of this. Jk likes to defer the decision making to Jimin.
It is part of JMs nurturing nature to be the the decisive one . So often he is making the decisions for them in their relationship.
Tae is very decisive too but I don't see him relinquishing that control to JK or JK deferring to him.
Until I see Tae and any other member speaking Jimin or Jk's love language- Jikook is real.
Signed,
GOLDY