#krismaryloves

[iamsafehere]

Sofiavondeath tagged me in a thing!

1.Why did you choose your URL? At the beginning I wanted to use tumblr as a way to vent and write about some very dark issues I was going through. I needed to be reminded that this was a safe place for me to word vomit. There you go. Not much of a story.

2. What is your middle name? Ryan! And I absolutely love it. I find it very poetic, in a way. My mom did an awesome job and that is the only name I will write under.

3. If you could own a fairytale / fictional pet, what would it be?

Oh man. Appa, I think.

4. Favorite color? It used to be dark blue. Here lately it’s been purple.

5. Favorite song? The four song medly from Laura Marling’s Once I Was An Eagle.

6. What are your top 3 fandoms? Uhh, Andrea Gibson Broadchurch WriteBloody Publishing, if that’s a thing.

7. What do you enjoy about Tumblr? The creative mix of people I follow, from their personal lives to their interests. Also it has a decent poetry fan club.

8. Tag 9 of your Tumblr crushes (they do all 8 questions too). Can’t even think of everyone. See the tag and whoever else wants to kill time.

[mrodigga]

I was tagged by queendeedee to list five things that I like about myself:

-My near-effortlessly glamorous hair.

-My butt.  It’s a nice butt--plush, full-figured, and fun to grab--and a number of people have told me so.

-I give really good advice.  I’ve been consistently told that by a lot of people too.

-I’m unapologetically myself.  By that I mean that I live my life authentically and don’t keep very many secrets. (”secrets” meaning things like the fact that I’m gay, that I like guys of size, that I’m agender, etc.  Basically things our culture says I should be ashamed of.)  It makes life more fulfilling, and it’s brought the right people into my life so I never feel like I have to pretend to be someone I’m not.

-My tastes in music.  I don’t mean the kind of music I listen to; I’m sure everyone thinks they have great taste in music, because all of the stuff they listen to is (assumedly) stuff they like.  I mean how much time I’ve been able to put into listening to music, discovering new music, trying out new genres, and honing my sense of what I like in music.  I also mean how deeply I think about music as a listener.  It’s lead to me having a music collection that I really, really love, that feels especially customized to my preferences.

I’m tagging jsands84, bul-ma, krismaryloves, atthebutterflyball, and 827125.

[mollywoodsquares]

The Hobbit & Perks of Being a Wallflower

the hobbit: do you think the average person has the potential to be a hero?Isn't that what a hero is? Look at the top legendary heroes: I'm not talking Batman or Wonder Woman, but everyday heroes like Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird, or George Bailey from It's a Wonderful Life. The narrative of the hero is always about someone rising from meager averageness. Diatribe over... so I guess I'm saying.. yes?the perks of being a wallflower:does listening to other people's problems help you or weigh you down?It definitely helps me. The thing that always manages to pull me out of a depression or blinding regret (my go-to?) is when there's some other trauma going on outside myself. I tend to rise to the occasion and forget whatever my other worry was. It's probably not a good thing. I need a shrink of some sort to tell me what it all means. 

[mrodigga]

6, 23, 41 :)

Six - Where do you wish you were right now?I guess in bed.  But I’ve already lost an hour worth of sleep, so I might as well stay up and lose another half-hour.  For some reason, I seem to do better with six-and-a-half hours of sleep than seven.

Twenty three- Who Was the last person you hugged.My friend Caroline.  We meet because one of my favorite pizza places has this deal on Tuesday nights where after 5:00 PM, you can call in an order for a large cheese pizza, and the time you called is the price you pay for it.  So we met at my old college’s student common (she still goes there, and was working there tonight), split the cost of the pizza, and ate it.  Then we played pool.  It was a good time, and we hugged as we were parting ways.

Forty one - Are you happy with life right now?It’s been a bit rocky this past month for reasons I’m not quite ready to talk about on here, but those seem to be smoothing out, and aside from those, things are going really well for me.  So yes. :-)

[mrodigga]

Dandelion & Green!

dandelion: when you make wishes who are they for?

You know, I don’t really make wishes anymore.  Like blowing out the candles wishes or 11:11 wishes?  Yeah, I don’t really do those anymore.  I guess now that I’m out on my own and determining my own way in life, my feeling about wishes is that either I should go out and make them happen or concede that I don’t really want them as much as I thought.

green: list your top 3 motivators 

1. Maintaining my independence and autonomy.2. Expressing myself and living authentically.3. Maintaining my closest friendships.

I was going to put being happy at #1, because that is by far my #1 goal and motivator in life, but it’s also really nebulous and vague.  The three above are all more specific motivators that I work towards to maintain my true #1 of being happy, so that’s my rational for listing them instead.

[mrodigga]

Chocolate & Heart!

chocolate: what would you most like to receive on valentine’s day?

Seeing as I don’t have a special someone right now, some kind of low-key gift from a friend would be plenty for me.  Maybe some kind of candy I like.  Just the surprise would make it special.

heart: talk about your crush

It's been a while since I had a real crush on anyone.  After a few bad experiences with unrequited feelings for different guys, I'm much more guarded about letting myself develop feelings for someone.  I'd like them to be mutual the next time they happen.

I guess the closest thing I have to a crush right now is on this cute guy at work.  Most of the guys at work whom I think are good-looking are old enough that they probably have partners and kids, since my office skews kinda older like that, but this guy looks like he's around my age.  We've never actually talked, hence why I say it's "the closest thing to a crush" that I have, rather than an all-out one.  But he's always kinda shy when we pass each other in the hallway, not really looking at me, and looking like he's doing it out of shyness rather than, say, disinterest.  Not that I take that as some kind of sign the feelings a mutual--it probably just means he's generally shy--but it certainly doesn't dissuade me from considering that possibility.

[mrodigga]

I was tagged by krismaryloves.  Name your 10 favorite characters from movies or TV series, then tag 10 people!

Oh jeez, I was never very good at these, but here we go.  I'm going to expand this to any medium, because otherwise there's no way I can make ten.  And I'm just going to list them as I think of them.

The Boss - Metal Gear Solid 3 Daria - Daria Becky - Clerks II Mikayla Van Buren - The Most Popular Girls in School J.D. - Scrubs Mike Winfield - "Story 2" by clipping. (yeah, I'm including a character from a song; I told you I wasn't very good at this) Michael Caine's Scrooge - A Muppet Christmas Carol K.K. Slider - Animal Crossing series Paarthurnax - The Elder Scrolls 5: Skyrim Tetra - The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker

I can't believe I actually did it.  I'm tagging (with no pressure!) queendeedee, 827125, jsands84, suspendedsecond, atthebutterflyball, let-it-be-extraordinary, hillarylynch, majikthise, and anyone who wants to do it.

[mrodigga]

Boomslang Skin & Acromantula Venom!!! :)

Boomslang skin: Name one thing you would shed from your life.

These goddamn slush puddles that are everywhere now that the snow is melting.  Also sidewalks that are unusable because no one’s shoveled them and they’re covered in three to four feet of snow.

Too obvious?

To be honest, I’ve done a pretty good job of shedding a lot of things from my life:  toxic friends, bloggers I followed even though they sometimes reblogged posts that made me livid, unnecessary sources of stress, etc.

I guess if it were easy, I would shed some of my inhibitions.  Not all of them, because I like my inhibitions; they keep me from making a fool out of myself.  But sometimes I think they keep me out of situations where I wouldn’t make a fool of myself and might benefit from taking that leap (talking to cute strangers in friendly, non-threatening contexts comes to mind as an example)

Acromantula Venom: What is one of your best memories?

Not really a specific memory, but I have two friends, the same ones I went to the Mary Lambert concert with, with whom I go out to eat fairly regularly, and we always have a good time when we’re out.  I swear we come up with a new inside joke every time we meet up, the friendship chemistry between us is that strong.  They’ve left me completely in stiches numerous times.