Five Different Ways to Figure Out Castiel's Perfect Gift
read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/1mbRyNs
by krushnicc
Dean Winchester is stressing out finding Castiel that perfect gift that he pulls all stops trying to figure it out... Then he finally realizes that Castiel has been saying it all this time.
Words: 3721, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: Supernatural
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Charlie Bradbury
CONGRATS TO YOU AND MICHAELA FOR RELEASING THE HOGWARTS AU!!!!!! I HAVE SUBSCRIBED AND I'LL BE READING IT WHEN I GET HOME THIS WEEKEND.
ahhhhh THANK YOU GEE, it’s so exciting!! there’s so much to come, we can’t wait for more of the plot to start unfolding, UGH because the THING with the THING and then THAT THING HAPPENS and OMG THAT BIT IS MY FAVE and just. we’re very excited. SO EXCITED.
eeeeeeeeeee I hope you enjoy it!!!! thank you for reading it, sunbeam, u da best :DDDDDD <3
some serious angst with a happy ending, based on some art that @linneart drew in her amazing livestream the other night. *warning for temporary major character death.* cry with me, everyone.
(read it here on AO3)
Cas can’t see.
The world is a harsh white haze grazing over his mind, whiplash streaks of red razoring down both sides of his vision. There’s a pain in his bones, an ache in his muscles, a growling, yawing hunger in his belly – and the only way to feed it is to hit, hit, hit and hit once more. There’s something in front of him that’s moving, feebly. Cas can feel his fingernails digging into his own palm, four points of crescent pain as he strikes again, and again, and again.
The creature before him doesn’t stop moving. Cas shifts, finding a grip and tightening, squeezing. The hunger has to be sated. The movement has to stop. He can’t see, can’t think, can only feel the rage, the need, the terrible pain.
Somewhere inside him, there’s a tiny swirl of words that revolve out and round him in a swirl, a growing hurricane. Stop – stop – you’re killing him! Stop! STOP!
The words are disjointed, they make no sense. Cas holds onto the creature in front of him, which is spasming weakly, trying to speak. Its hand grabs hold of Cas – just the lapel of his coat. Faintly, a single word threads through the darkness.
“Cas…”
A gasp, a rush of air into his lungs, waking him up.
Cas knows that voice.
He drops his grip, pulling his hands back as though he’s been burnt. The weight of the body he’s been holding slumps down to the floor and to one side, emptily.
A few dazed blinks, and Cas’ eyes are his own once more. No more pain, no more hunger. He breathes out, a shaky sigh, and looks down.
The world falls still.
“No,” he hears himself say, distantly.
His hand rises to cover his mouth.
“No, no, no, no…”
The body on the floor doesn’t move. Cas stares down at it, hearing the saw of his own breathing, the thud of his heart. He drops to his knees, stretches out a hand. The shoulder under his palm feels all wrong, too weak and too loose under his touch.
He pushes against it, turning the body face-up.
Dean’s eyes are still open. His face has lost all of its tension, all of its fear. When Cas brushes the backs of his trembling fingers over Dean’s cheek, the skin is still warm.
There is no sound. The Earth does not shake. There is sunlight coming through the window, and it pours over Dean’s body like a blanket, trying to hold the warmth inside him. Shroud him in sunshine, Cas thinks, numbly. The shadows are not for him.
“Dean?” he whispers. He knows he will not be heard, and yet Dean has returned to him so many times, in so many ways, that he cannot help but hope… “Dean? No, no, no, Dean, I – Dean. Please, no…” The sobs start suddenly, violently, wrenching out through his betrayer’s body. He has no right, he knows, but he can’t help but reach down and gather Dean up, hold him tightly, press that beloved whitening face against the heat of his own neck.
“What have I done?” he asks, the words choked. “What have I done?” He cradles Dean’s head, fingers buried in his soft hair. “No, no… Dean…”
The name itself rings hollow, a bell tolling in a deserted city.
Cas doesn’t move for several hours. When he does, he lifts the weight of Dean’s body with him. It isn’t right to carry him like a child; it would be worse to leave him lying there, alone.
*
Far away, in another time, in a softer space, Dean opens his eyes.
At first, all he can see is white. Colour and feeling return to him slowly, like a gentle kiss upon his brow.
He’s lying on grass. He can hear the swish and sigh of water nearby. Above him, the sky is clear and blue.
His clothes feel light and loose, his body eased, somehow. The tense knot in his left shoulder has unwound; the pain in his side where a rib healed badly is no more. He blinks, slowly, and sits up to look around.
He’s lying on a riverbank, next to a wooden jetty. He can see fishing equipment, laid out neat and ready. Turning, a few hundred metres away, he can see his car parked up.
The sun is warm on his face.
Dean frowns. Is this some kind of dream? He knows this place, from another vision, long ago. Has a djinn taken him? Should he be trying to escape?
Dean turns back to the wooden jetty, and draws in a quick breath.
Standing on the jetty, watching Dean with an expression of pure – love, there is no other way to describe it – is Castiel.
Dean’s first thought is, I don’t care if this is a djinn dream. I’m staying.
He rises to his feet, a little shaky but still strong. The boards of the jetty creak beneath him, sighing out little greetings, welcoming his weight. Cas has his hands tucked into the pockets of his trench coat, the old one, the one Dean saw him in first. His blue tie is slightly askew. When he’s close enough, Dean reaches out both hands and fixes it, knuckles brushing against the heat of Cas’ neck.
Only then does he look up into Cas’ eyes.
And it’s real, he knows it at once. It’s not a dream. It can’t be. No dream could ever be as good as this.
They stare at each other for a second, and another, and another. It comes back to Dean in fragments. Cas losing control. Dean having to choose between killing Cas, or letting himself be killed. Dean feeling hands around his throat, so tight. Dean letting go…
I’m sorry, say the tears down Cas’ cheeks. I’m so, so sorry…
It’s alright, says Dean’s hands on Cas’ face, Dean’s thumbs stroking away the tears. I forgive you.
He drops his hands, wraps one of them around the back of his neck, suddenly shy.
“Hey, Cas,” he says, out loud.
Cas smiles, eyes shining. Heaven looks good on him, Dean thinks. Maybe he could stay a while.
Your new blog layout is awesome... ugh I have so many feelings with that Cant Help Falling In Love and that background artwork. so MANY FeeLINGs
ahhhhh THANK YOU! I’m so glad you like it, I’m super happy with it :)))) I’m usually pretty terrible about things changing, but this time it’s a good change! ^U^ OH GOD THAT SONG IS JUST SO. ASUJDKSADJK.
1. Describe yourself how you would describe a character you're introducing
sitting in the corner of the train carriage was a girl reading a book. just visible over the top of its pages was a pair of hazel eyes, staring daggers at anyone who looked like they might try to sit down next to her. she was very scary. C;
10. What inspires you the most?
sometimes it’s the things happening in my life, sometimes it’s the things happening in fictional character’s lives, haha ^^ I guess the underlying factor is trying to understand how things work, how emotions shift and change, how people can think so differently about the same things. it’s answering the big ‘how’ questions! also I like thinking about Dean and Cas getting together a lot so that’s very inspirational. C;
6. First fic/pairing you wrote for? (If no pairing, describe the plot)
ohhhhh god, the first fic I ever wrote was a Harry Potter genfic where Draco joined the Order and I think it was Fred/Hermione endgame too? but most of the focus was on Draco’s redemption arc. this was all pre-book 7, I know I did post it up online somewhere but I have NO memory of where... maybe at harrypotterfanfiction? but what was my username?? haha, welp, I’m not sure I’d want to read it again anyway.....
krushnicc replied to your post:SHERBET IS A TYPE OF FROZEN DESSERT THAT IS...
it’s a type of ice cream here D:
haha, believe me, I know!! a few months ago there was an... altercation... on this ole blog of mine which we refer to as the great sherbet debacle of 2015. a truly terrifying time for all of us. ^^
