here's what i've got for kurodai week's day 1 fake dating prompt <3 i got carried away and now it's an entire fanfic idea so i plan to add a looottt more and post it to ao3, but here's it so far. enjoy!!
Kuroo had yet to experience a dull day at Tokyo University. His studies were important. His eating habits were important. But, perhaps the most important of all—
“Testu!” Oikawa kicked their door open, wincing as it nearly swung off its hinges. “Tetsu, Tetsu, you’re not going to believe this. First, agree to help me.”
Kuroo eyed his roommate warily, noting his flushed skin and quick breaths. Oikawa ran miles for practice every day, so it had to be something serious that was bothering him, right? Surely.
“Okay, I guess I agree to whatever it is you won’t tell me about yet.”
Oikawa dropped his schoolbag with a sigh, grinning as he approached Kuroo at his desk. “You’re the best, Tetsu, thanks!” he said, giving Kuroo a lazy hug.
“So? What has you so stressed?”
“That asshole snuck his way into three of my classes. Not just one, but three!”
Kuroo racked his brain for a hint of which asshole Oikawa was complaining about. Was it the most recent asshole who cut in front of him in line for the cafeteria and stuck his tongue out in victory when he snatched the last of the banana muffins? Maybe it was the first year who joined the team last semester and immediately gunned for Oikawa’s starter spot? Or could it be the rude TA that Oikawa spent all of last semester arguing with during office hours? Really, the list went on.
Meanwhile, Oikawa continued, “I thought it was strange, right? Our majors rarely interact. Well, guess what?” He shook Kuroo’s shoulders eagerly.
“That asshole changed his major.” Oikawa waved his arms wildly. “I thought as much, but the student introductions confirmed it. We had to share our majors and future plans, all that stuff. He really switched from History to Literature. Was it on purpose? It feels like it was on purpose.”
Kuroo still couldn’t quite tell which asshole Oikawa was rambling about, though he could at least narrow his list down. “Hate to cut you off there, buddy, but who exactly are we talking about here?”
“Well, you have a lot of enemies.”
“Not enemies, Tetsu. Motivators.”
“Yeah, okay, motivators. You have a lot of them.”
“I do, don’t I?” Oikawa laughed. “Anyway, the current motivator is Keiji.”
Kuroo choked out a cough. “Your ex?”
“Yeah, that one.” Oikawa rolled his eyes, making Kuroo laugh. “Anyway, he’s still good-looking and well-spoken, and it’s pissing me off, so I need to one-up him. That’s where you come in. Thanks for agreeing!”
“You’re my new boyfriend.” Oikawa grinned. “Isn’t that great?”
Kuroo choked once again, slapping at his chest as Oikawa laughed at him.
“Don’t be so alarmed, Tetsu. It’s only a temporary measure, and it’s all fake. If you somehow gather the courage to confess to Daichi, you can even date him while we’re faking it.”
“How considerate,” Kuroo spluttered, regaining his dignity. “I’m really supposed to be your boyfriend just to one-up Akaashi?”
“Just for the semester! It’ll barely be a thing at all. Just walk me to the classes that he decided to invade or something. We already eat at the dining hall together all the time.”
Kuroo stood from his desk, pacing their small dorm as he thought. On one hand, it was really no big deal at all. The request wasn’t even out of the ordinary for Oikawa, and he was always willing to help out a friend. On the other hand, it was embarrassing. How could he even begin to explain the situation to Sawamura? He was meant to impress the guy, not scare him off! Yeah, hi there, Sawamura. Oh, this? Me holding Toto’s hand? Oh, this is just an act we’re putting on, believe me.
Oikawa huffed from their shared mini-fridge, slamming it shut. Kuroo turned his head just in time to catch the Pocari bottle tossed at him.
“Fine,” he finally answered, twisting the bottle open to take a swig. “You definitely owe me one for this.”
“I do, I really do.” Oikawa nodded solemnly. “Oh, and Tetsu? I beg you, keep this between us. You know if you tell Koutarou anything, Keiji will know within the hour.”
Keeping their fake relationship a secret proved to be a lot more difficult than Kuroo believed it would be. When Bokuto had asked why he suddenly diligently accompanied Oikawa to class, all he could do was shrug. Was walking your roommate to class really so strange?
“It’s just different from the dynamic you two had last semester, you know?” Bokuto said between sips of his Gatorade. “Past you would’ve never bothered going out of your way to drop him off before heading to eat with me. What’s changed?”
Kuroo watched Bokuto devour his sandwich, trying to think of a witty response. He couldn’t come up with anything. He had promised Oikawa that he wouldn’t reveal the truth to anyone. Really, the only thing he could reveal was—
Bokuto froze in place, the last bite of his sandwich hovering shakily over his tray. “You’re kidding, right?”
Bokuto shrieked, dropping the sad remnants of his sandwich. “What? How? Why? Since when? Wait, what about Daichi? Dude… what is going on?”
Kuroo crossed his arms over the lunch table, sighing heavily. “It’s hard to explain. I guess… it just happened. I don’t know.”
“It’s just developed over time.”
“But what about Daichi?” Bokuto repeated, making Kuroo wince.
Bokuto scoffed. “Well, I bet! What the hell happened? Last I checked, Oikawa was well aware of your undying, big, fat crush on Daichi. Did it finally die, or what?”
Kuroo looked to the ceiling for help, hoping the swirly pattern up above could somehow spell out the right answers to his nosy friend’s questions. He probably should’ve kept his mouth shut.
“Well, look who it is,” Bokuto said, jutting his chin toward the door for Kuroo to look. Whether it was Oikawa skipping class or Sawamura himself, or god forbid Akaashi for some reason, Kuroo wasn’t sure he really wanted to look.
He did anyway, eyes immediately glued to the short, stout, sweaty, utterly-too-sensual-for-before-noon figure of a freshly-exercised Sawamura heading their way.
“Oh, fuck me,” Kuroo mumbled.
Bokuto greeted Sawamura normally, using his fingers to gather the disassembled bits of his sandwich and pop them into his mouth.
“Well, awful news.” Sawamura sighed as he sat beside Kuroo.
Suddenly much too aware of his breathing, Kuroo remained silent. He stared straight ahead at Bokuto, peeking at Sawamura in his peripheral vision. Bokuto stared back at him with a raised brow.
Kuroo cleared his throat, sending another prayer to the ceiling before he turned to face Sawamura. Oh god, he was so close and so bright and so—
“So, what’s the bad news?” Kuroo asked, eerily reminiscent of his conversation with Oikawa from two weeks ago.
Sawamura groaned, resting his head against the table. Kuroo oogled the way the loose neckline of his shirt rode down just enough to expose the clear expanse of his neck. Bokuto cleared his throat.
Sawamura turned his head, keeping his cheek squished against the table as he mumbled, “My mom’s coming to visit this weekend.” He sat up suddenly, eyes wide. “Actually, not even just for the weekend. She got a deal with a hotel nearby, so she’s staying for god knows how long. I can’t do it.”
“Aw, c’mon, man. It can’t be too bad, right?” Bokuto attempted to cheer him up, his hand nearly coming up to pat Sawamura before he caught sight of the glare aimed at him.
“You don’t understand. My mom gets way too involved. I don’t think I’ll be able to breathe with her around.”
Kuroo nodded in support, afraid to open his mouth to speak. One of his brain cells was working its absolute hardest to listen to Sawamura, while all of the others were hyperfocused on each of Sawamura’s expressions. He was an awful friend, wasn’t he? Here his friend was, blowing off some steam, and Kuroo was enjoying the way his eyebrows twisted upward as he whined. Lord, help him.
Sawamura leaned back in his chair, and Kuroo tried his hardest to ignore the visible rise and fall of his broad chest. “Warning you guys now,” Sawamura said, “she’s going to want to meet you all. Especially you.” He signalled toward Bokuto. Kuroo glanced between them.
“I’ve been dying to meet Mrs. Sawamura. I’m ready.” Bokuto puffed his chest, making Sawamura laugh. “Anyway, bro, would you like a distraction? Some pretty big news was shared just before you got here. Like, I’m actually in disbelief.”
“Yes, please. A distraction sounds great.”
“So, turns out Kuroo’s got himself a boyfriend.” Bokuto rested his weight against the table, coming close. “You’ll never guess who.”
Sawamura’s eyes widened almost comically. At least, it’d be comical if Kuroo wasn’t currently short-circuiting and absolutely panicking at the idea of not being available for Sawamura if he ever decided to return his feelings!
“Wow, really?” Sawamura turned to observe him. Kuroo shrank in his seat, skin suddenly itchy. “Who’s the lucky guy?” Sawamura grinned, head tilting in curiosity. “When did this happen?”
Each question piled on Kuroo’s shoulders like weights until he was slumped against the table, just shy of putting his head down and covering his ears. If it came down to it, in this moment, Kuroo really could bury Bokuto and Oikawa six feet under. Years of friendship be damned.
“The lucky guy is apparently Oikawa,” Bokuto answered for him. Kuroo pressed his lips together, watching as Sawamura’s eyebrows shot up in shock.
“What?” Sawamura asked, eyes still wide and trained on Kuroo’s. He’d gone still, sat up straight in his seat. Apparently, the news of Kuroo actually dating someone was just that shocking to him. Kuroo didn’t know what to make of that.
Bokuto laughed, and Kuroo welcomed the opportunity to break Sawamura’s intense eye contact. “That was my same reaction, dude,” Bokuto said. “Like what? Yeah, Kuroo-bro, I’m with Daichi. I’d love to hear when this happened.”
Well, what the hell was he supposed to say? Oh, yeah, no big deal. Toto just needs a favor. I guess you could say it’s been a week or two?
“It hasn’t been long,” he answered. Bokuto and Sawamura blinked at him slowly, in search of more details. He needed to keep it vague! Getting too specific is what got him here in the first place! “Honestly, I have no clue what our anniversary is.” He shrugged for good measure.
Bokuto squinted at him. Sawamura stared, deadpan. Kuroo wanted to hide in a hole.
“Bro, you know how seriously Oikawa takes anniversaries. Not a good look.”
What, now he was getting lectured by Bokuto? This could not be real life.
“It hasn’t been long, but you already can’t remember your anniversary? That’s not very boyfriendly.” Sawamura folded his arms.
I would be very boyfriendly if the boyfriend in question were you! Kuroo thought so loudly that he worried his friends could somehow hear it. So maybe he messed up and kept it a little too vague. Was he supposed to be a professional at keeping up a lie?
“Fine! Let’s see,” he said, thinking back to his conversation with Oikawa, “it was two weeks ago, on Monday. We talked before he left for practice.”
Bokuto gasped. “You mean to tell me that we spent two hours of practice together, and he didn’t think to tell me anything about dating another one of my bros? I swear, I’m chewing him out the next time I see him. He just loves putting me in a tough place and not even telling me about it!”
Sawamura reached across the table to pat Bokuto’s head. “Remember what we discussed, Bo.”
“What did you two discuss?”
Sawamura glared at Kuroo, making him shiver. “How about we discuss how you apparently couldn’t remember your anniversary with Oikawa when it’s just the second day of classes. Why’d it take you this long to tell us?”
“You know how Oikawa is,” Kuroo said, already tensing his muscles in preparation for more embarrassment. “Just wanted to make sure it wasn’t a short-term mistake sort of thing before letting everyone know about it.”
Bokuto and Sawamura groaned loudly enough to attract some of the dining hall’s attention.
“Yeah, bro, you might just be the worst boyfriend ever.”
Fake or not, Kuroo considered himself a fairly good boyfriend. He’d taken to carrying Oikawa’s bag for him on their way to his classes, dropping it off in his seat next to Akaashi, or his cafeteria rival, or his academic rival. Somehow, Akaashi proved to be the least of Oikawa’s class-related problems.
“Alright, wish me luck.” Kuroo plopped Oikawa’s bag into his seat. “I’m going with Sawamura to pick up his mom.”
Oikawa whined softly, leaning against the long desk. “I wish I could come with you guys. Moms love me.”
“You’ll meet her at dinner later.”
“Yeah, but picking someone up from the train station is special.”
Kuroo laughed, stopping when his eyes met Akaashi’s. “Well, I’ll give her your well wishes. I should get going, babe.”
“Aw, alright. Don’t miss me too much, baby.” Oikawa grinned, much too excited to put on their little act.
If Kuroo excelled at anything, it was outdoing Oikawa’s antics. “Aw, babe, you know I miss you from the moment I leave your side. If only I could wrap you up and keep you in my pocket.” He laughed, pinching Oikawa’s cheek.
Oikawa grimaced at him, cheek still stretched by Kuroo’s fingers. “Alright, I’ll see you later, baby. Now let me learn.”
“Bye-bye!” Kuroo waved obnoxiously, walking backwards so he could blow kisses Oikawa’s way. “I’ll pick you up from practice later!”
“Great! Bye!” Oikawa waved back, an eye twitching as he took his seat beside Akaashi. Kuroo watched them for a moment, smiling in satisfaction as he caught Akaashi starting a conversation.
At least one of them gained something out of Oikawa’s stupid plan. All Kuroo had gained so far was an awful boyfriend reputation and an even more awkward energy around his crush. Since Sawamura had learned of his so-called relationship, he seemed to be avoiding Kuroo.
Luckily, Kuroo was the only one available to join Sawamura at the train station, so he’d finally spend some time with him, even if it was to pick up his mom. He couldn’t remember the last time he spent one-on-one time with Sawamura.
They sat side by side on the train, eyes following the buildings outside the window across from them. With every small bump of the train car, their knees knocked together. Kuroo swore he could feel electricity whenever they grazed each other, which is how he knew he was going insane.
“So,” he whispered, “did you find out how long your mom’s staying?”
Sawamura sighed, letting his head sag onto Kuroo’s shoulder. Kuroo stiffened at the touch, hyperaware of each one of his movements. Damn the moving train, he needed to remain completely still! Sawamura’s forehead was attached to his collarbone! Nothing could go wrong!
Sawamura whispered back, “I think she’s staying for a month, thanks to some extended-stay deal with the hotel. I can’t believe it.”
“Hopefully she decides to sightsee around Tokyo rather than our campus?”
“That’d be great, but trust me, you’ll see how invasive she is. If anything, she’ll be sneaking into our classes.”
“Hey, as long as she offers to do my homework.”
Sawamura laughed quietly, lifting his head off Kuroo’s shoulder. Kuroo mourned the loss, but tingles roamed his abdomen at the thought that Sawamura was laughing because of him, so he considered it a win.
They didn’t wait long near the Tohoku Shinkansen line. Soon enough, a short, smiley woman who shared Sawamura’s face came barreling toward them, large suitcases rolling in each hand.
“Daichi!” she called from meters away. “Daichi, let me see you!”
Sawamura groaned under his breath, but he still moved to meet his mother halfway. Kuroo joined him, at least to grab her suitcases.
Kuroo watched as Sawamura was enveloped in a hug, somehow looking small in the arms of his smaller mother. Mrs. Sawamura peppered his face with hundreds of small kisses, only stopping when Sawamura began whining in embarrassment.
“Oh, come here, you.” Mrs. Sawamura waved Kuroo over, lifting onto her toes to throw her arms around his neck. “It is so great to meet you. I’ve heard a lot.”
“Really? Wow, it’s nice to meet you too, Mrs. Sawamura.”
When they separated, Mrs. Sawamura gave Kuroo a long look up and down. “Wow, Daichi, I’m impressed.”
Kuroo laughed as Sawamura pressed his palm to his forehead.
“Oh, please, a mother is allowed to judge when it comes to these things.” Mrs. Sawamura took Kuroo’s hand in hers.
“So, you’re the boyfriend my son couldn’t wait for me to meet.”
Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend.
Kuroo couldn’t get it out of his head. Sawamura’s mom had definitely used the word boyfriend. But as far as Kuroo was aware, Sawamura was single? Since when had he had a boyfriend? Since when had Kuroo had zero chance with his crush?
He thought about it for the rest of the day. Luckily, unlike his roommate, he didn’t have any Friday classes. That only meant that his day consisted of lying around in bed, overthinking each of his past interactions with Sawamura. He couldn’t figure out for the life of him when Sawamura went out and got himself a boyfriend. And why didn’t Kuroo know about it? How long had that been a thing? How dare Sawamura blow up at him about his relationship with Oikawa when he had been hiding some boyfriend from him the whole time?
By the time Oikawa and Bokuto finished up at practice, Kuroo had walked fourteen rounds around the school’s track. The soles of his shoes had lost a layer.
From where he stood at the athletic facilities’ gate, Kuroo spotted Oikawa walking out on his own. He wasn’t lying when he told him he’d pick him up. As soon as he returned from the train station, he knew he would be talking Oikawa’s ear off, whether he liked it or not.
“So, loverboy, get this,” he began immediately, throwing an arm over Oikawa’s shoulders as they walked.
“See you tomorrow!” Oikawa called over his shoulder, waving to his teammates. He turned to glare at Kuroo, slipping the volleyball bag off his shoulder and shoving it toward Kuroo. “You really showed up. How lovely, now my team thinks I’d actually date someone like you.”
Kuroo laughed as he slipped Oikawa’s bag onto his own shoulder, readjusting his arm around Oikawa as he leaned closer. “Aw, suddenly shy, babe? Anyway, listen to this: Sawamura is dating someone—a real, proper boyfriend.”
“Yes! His mom thought I was his boyfriend!”
“Well, that’s sweet, in a way.” Oikawa rolled his shoulders obnoxiously until Kuroo finally dropped his arm from them. “But really? I feel like dear Daichi would tell us if he were dating someone.”
Kuroo huffed. “I thought so too, but I guess not. Maybe the guy is deranged in some way? Or an embarrassment?”
“Of course you hope so. Poor Daichi.”
“Shut up.” Kuroo glanced around. “Wait, I thought Bokuto would walk with us?”
“Oh, he rushes off after practice nowadays. He’s the first one out of the showers—dressed and out of there before I even begin to wash up.”
“Well, what’s the point of that if we’re all meeting at the restaurant?”
“Beats me.” Oikawa shrugged. “He’s been kind of weird around me in general since Keiji and I ended things. He’ll talk to me just fine during practice, but when he realizes we might walk back to the dorms together and end up alone, he runs off. I guess the same thing happened here? I didn’t tell him you were picking me up from practice.”
“I can’t believe you doubted me. If I say I’m picking you up from practice, I’m picking you up from practice.”
Oikawa shook his head with a laugh, choosing not to respond.
They arrived at the restaurant still joking and laughing. Kuroo made a grand show of opening the door for Oikawa, to which Oikawa curtseyed as a thank you. Sawamura had texted them earlier that he and his mother would already be at the restaurant, sitting toward the back. All they had to do was walk in and head their way.
Kuroo rounded the corner and spotted Sawamura standing beside their table, a sheepish smile aimed toward his mother. Bokuto stood in front of her, eyes wide and hand outstretched. He was wearing his good shirt and most form-fitting slacks, which made Kuroo weirdly self-conscious about his baggy jeans.
“Hi there, Mrs. Sawamura,” Bokuto said.
Mrs. Sawamura raised her brows high, smile growing as she gave Bokuto a look over, like she had done with Kuroo earlier. “Ah, I see. You’re the boyfriend I’ve heard so much about.”
