#kyman headcanons

[angel555angel555]

Super fluffy kyman oneshot I wrote for my friend @bluegrammar <3 hope you enjoy!! AO3 LINK HERE!

[roomofshroom]

my kyman headcanons (18+)

i love others' headcanons so i thought id share my own <3 these are mostly 18+ but not all of them are!! if you dont agree w some of them its ok its mostly for fun!!

hey there's a part 2 !!!!

kyle would mostly call eric cartman and eric would try to secretly find ways to get him to call him eric more

when kyle does occasionally call cartman by his first name it's when they're getting intimate so eric associates kyle calling him by his first name with sexy times and then gets ...excited anytime kyle says his name which makes for some very funny situations

they would hide that they're in a relationship for the first few weeks but their friends would have their suspicions anyways bc they're not fucking blind and the way eric looks at kyle just says it all (not stan tho, mfer is blind af)

they would tease each other, name call each other in front of their friends and their fights would get very heated but for different reasons than others have in mind

cartmans a little brat and enjoys when kyle gets angry so much he purposely makes him angry in front of their friends, just for them to dissappear and angrily make out in a closet or somewhere secluded

stan would be oblivious to that and call cartman an asshole for getting kyle mad and then he'd worry ab his best friend when he suddenly dissappears w/o a trace

kyle doesn't want to admit it but he likes it when eric tries to get him riled up and sometimes he even exaggerates his angry reactions just to see eric get those excited sparks in his eyes

when they finally tell their friends they're together stan throws up (mf was oblivious the whole time), kenny asks them VERY personal questions ab positions they've done together, butters is happy for them and congratulates them, craig says he had known the whole entire time ('you guys are so blindingly fucking gay it's making my eyes hurt'), tweek would hand him 5 dollars (mfers made a bet out of it), clyde would say to tolkien that he's worried ab them checking him out and tolkien would just tell him to stfu bc 'being gay doesnt mean they wanna fuck you, no one wants to fuck you, clyde'

now that everyone knows, eric would brag to everyone ab not being a virgin anymore and jokingly try to go into details ab their sex life which kyle would VERY QUICKLY shut down and blush the entire time

eric now calls stan a virgin million times a day, asks him if hes jealous that hes 'getting that sweet sweet jewish ass' and constantly remind him that hes 'fucking his best friend nya nya nya hahaha' while kyle tells him to stfu

eric gets a stupid fucking tattoo 3 month into the relationship something like a fucking arrow pointing to his ass saying 'kyle was here' or i dont fucking know, anyways kyle would hate it and call him fucking insane

when kyle finds himself in a deep convo w anyone else thats not their friend or eric himself, eric always interrupts to make SURE they know kyle's HIS man so 'don't try to steal my man bitch' while he snaps his fingers and leaves w a dramatic hair whip (nonexistent long hair)

eric would be very veeeeery clingy while kyle would get slightly controlling sometimes just to quickly realize and get mad at himself (eric loves it when kyle's controlling and jealous so he doesn't mind)

eric would cry and whine about the dumbest shit ever ('mom said im not allowed my xbox bc i keep yelling at others in the game to kill themselves waaa khal, isnt she such a fucking bitch?') and kyle has to comfort him bc 'that's his boyfriend duty', kyle would call him a fucking crybaby which would only cause cartman to cry louder forcing kyle to shut him up somehow (maybe with a kiss)

[ihatethiswebsite77]

If Kyle ever found out Cartman liked him he would simply just- not believe it for one second.

If by some chance Cartman decided to be genuinely nice to Kyle upon discovering that his feelings for him go a little bit deeper than just "hatred" that he's called them for all the years they've known eachother. You know just doing little things that you'd usually never see Cartman doing. Enough to raise a few eyebrows but not so far as to say that Cartman is a changed individual. Kyle would immediately catch on to these small changes, and then proceed to be suspicious. Kyle knows that he shouldn't trust Cartman as far as he can throw him, especially when he is being "nice". To the point where he would seek out ways to spy on Cartman just to see what he is up to. And when he finds nothing he will just end up questioning Cartman head on. And if by that point Cartman decides to tell him the truth, that he is being nice because he likes him. Kyle will not buy it. Not even consider it. His reaction will simply be "Stop lying, what is it that you are really scheming Fatass?" And I suspect that Cartman, being genuine for the first time in his life, will be quite thrown off by this. Cartman isn't one to resort to introspection in times of tribulation. He is simply going to be confused as to why Kyle is refusing to believe him when he is actually telling the truth. It fails to occur to him that all the times he has lied led to Kyle not trusting him. He can only percieve the situation from his point of view and that is that he is telling the truth and that that should mean that Kyle will believe him. And so for like a long period of time. Cartman will just put his entire focus into making Kyle believe him. Simply because he is an obsessive individual and he really likes proving Kyle wrong (even tho he likes him). That of course will only lead to Kyle being even more convinced that Cartman is scheming. Kyle's thought process will equate the amount of Cartman's effort, not to him being genuine, but rather to the scope of his scheme. And as long as that's the case Kyle will refuse to believe it. But there is one thing Kyle can't resist to fall for when it comes to Cartman. And that's when Cartman shows genuine emotions of being hurt or upset. After a while of trying to get Kyle to believe him and it absolutely just not working. Cartman gives up. Kyle being Kyle, feels a slight sense of triumph over not letting Cartman's "scheme" get the better of him, but as he notices Cartman talking to him less and less he begins to feel a slight sense of longing, almost as if he misses him. He decides to find Cartman and question him about why he has stopped (to gloat and inquire about his scheme of course, no other reason, or so he will tell himself.) And by this point. Cartman just wants to be left alone, returning to a more dejected and defensive attitude which is meant to cover up some hurt feelings. He entertains Kyle for a bit, but quickly it becomes clear to Kyle that something is wrong. This is not how he saw this scene playing out. And being Kyle. He wants to know more. He can't help but pry. And this time, when Eric tells him the truth. With the memories of the past few months coming at him like a tidal wave, he gets that big moment of realization.

[the-jason-todd-effect]

Kyman headcanons

They'd both definitely would be in the debate club and just spend 99.9999% of the time getting off track by increasingly arguing about stuff unrelated to the debate at hand

Kyle would obviously be the last one to come to terms with his feelings for cartman, only rely doing so when Kenny has enough of his shit and calls him out on it

They would argue quite a lot but mostly do it for laughs as opposed to any real conflict which has become less common although there are moments

Kyle would opt to not go on public dates because he isn't the type to be super lovey dovey but for more important events like an anniversary he won't hesitate

Cartman would try propose in the most elaborate way possible like he would try to propose with fireworks that say I love you Kyle but Stan and Kenny are like "he'll just appreciate a ring and some wine"

[festivelyplump]

tell us some of ur kyman hcs fam !!

Omg tysm for this ask!!!!! my HCs are few because i’m really new to this fandom. I’ve only been here for a few weeks <:o1. They’re a good ass team. Seriously. If they have a common goal, they get the job done fast an well. Did Cartman kill someone and Kyle gave him the weapon? They both want to stay free, so they both work to dispose of the body and evidence. And it works, they’re off scott free. Did someone hurt someone/something they love? They’ll both work together to plan how to “disappear” said person. Same with business ventures. They’re a killer, clever, and dangerous team (when they can actually get to working together LOL).

2. They fight, both physically and verbally, and it takes a hot minute to outgrow. Eventually, though, they realize fighting just delays them getting what they want and STOP (much to the relief of anyone in a two-mile radius).

3. Cartman (he’ll never admit it) loves Kyle’s hair. When Kyle cuts it Cartman loses it, much to Kyle’s surprise.

4. Everyone avoids dating Kyle and Cartman because they always end up talking about/obviously pining for each other. For example, Kyle dates someone and he’s paying full attention to his partner as they chat when suddenly he’s cutting his partner off to talk about how much of an ass cartman is and how he should just drop dead and how stupid and ugly and idiotic he is and how luscious his hair is and how soft his face is-

Cartman doesn’t even pretend to pay attention to his partners. They seem to have a slightly unnerving obsession with each other that everyone but them notices.

5. Have I said they’re really great business partners? because omg they are. Cartman is cunning and pitiless. He does most of the dirty work behind the scenes, while Kyle does public relations and makes sure the company *looks* spic and span. While Cartman careens and caresses the money and makes the ugly decisions (often with uglier consequences), Kyle cleans the dirty laundry and makes it look lawful. He knows everything there is to know about the law, and Cartman the same with business dealings. They’d be such a beautiful business team… Both cunning, smart… They’d be business men of the year in no time… If y’all ever see business AU kyman stuff, please, for the love of all things holy, tag me! My favorite AU ever!

6. I love dontatme’s fic, and I totally love her idea of Cartman getting off to Kyle being mad at him, much to Kyle’s absolute horror.

7. Also, Kyle having psychic powers? Specifically with persuasion and making people do things against their will? He’d use it on everyone, but for some reason, it doesn’t work on Cartman… hmm…

8. Life loses all flavor without the other. Like, if Kyle isn’t there to yell at him and pay attention to him, Cartman just loses all interest. If Kyle isn’t into it, Cartman isn’t. And Kyle gets hella bored/irritable without Cartman around to infuriate and argue with him. 

9. Cartman will literally kill someone who hurts Kyle. And vice versa. They’re both kinda,,,, wild,,,,,

I have more I can’t put into words + I’m new round this fandom, so I’ll put more out sometimes. TYSM FOR THE ASK THO!! ANYONE CAN SEND ASKS HERE DON’T BE SHY

[angel555angel555]

Do you prefer mountain or pine Kyman?

Hey there! Thank you so much for the ask <3 I have so many thoughts!!

My absolute favorite (and what I feel is usually closest to canon) is tie Kyman! At least when it comes to their personalities and interactions with each other

The reason why Cartman and Kyle have such an interesting dynamic is because they're really well matched

They're both very smart and quick-witted. Honestly, they're the two smartest people in the show and I think they both know it

Part of the reason they fight each other is because they're the only person that can match each other's level of intelligence, which makes the fight fun

They're also both equally aggressive. They're balanced in their level of fighting (meaning how much they're willing to fight for what they want/believe in, and how far they'll go in that fight)

That also means that, when they have the same goals in mind, they make excellent allies and partners! They're willing to go just as far as the other, and really stick their necks out for each other

But most of the time, the reason they're fighting each other is because they're each others equals in the fight, if that makes sense!

That's why Cartman says on multiple occasions that it's not fun to fight Kyle when Kyle isn't fighting back

For that reason, I don't really feel like Kyle or Cartman is the more dominant or submissive one. When they're together, I feel like they're always kinda pushing each other

HOWEVER, I love the idea of Cartman as the more experienced one, relationships-wise. And I really enjoy the idea of Kyle giving in to him, despite every bit of morality in his brain screaming for him not to. Like I love the idea that Cartman has that power over Kyle

Especially since that's the dynamic we usually see in the show. Kyle plays the moral high-ground a lot, but at the end of the day he's still engaging with Cartman, right? He still hangs out with him and cares about him?

So for that reason, I would say personality and dynamic-wise, I prefer tie Kyman with a slight lean towards mountain Kyman

Physical appearance wise, I definitely prefer tall and lanky Kyle and chubby, slightly shorter Eric. I picture them to be almost the same height, but Kyle maybe has two or three inches over Eric

[angel555angel555]

My Kyle Week Day 1 fic is up! I hope you enjoy 🔞❤️

AO3 LINK HERE!

[angel555angel555]

My late submission for Kyle Week Day 5!!❤️🔞 Hope you enjoy this one!!

AO3 LINK HERE!