#lab quotes

[public-schoolquotes]

*In lab*

Student 1: So, how do we know that this is actually meningitis?

Student 2: Well, there are two ways to tell.

First, dump it in the town water supply and see what happens,

Or

Two, someone takes one for the team and chugs it.

Student 1: Who will be our martyr?

Student 3: I will!

The rest of the students: Chug, Chug, Chug!

The teacher: *In the back, looking mildly horrified*

[scienceprofessorquotes]

Chemical engineers are *not* chemists. They don't have the right instincts. Maaaaybe they can do a little math but throw 'em in a lab to actually conduct a procedure and they're instantly as lost as a goose. It's always a bad sign when there's an engineer in your lab.

Disgruntled analytical chemistry professor

[scienceprofessorquotes]

"Do not pick up the boiling flasks with your bare hands. I know [the professor] does, but he's a badass."

- Instrumental analysis TA

[scienceprofessorquotes]

Phenolphthalein is like a ninja. Just when you think it's all gone, BOOM! Hot pink out of nowhere.

My chemistry lecturer

[scienceprofessorquotes]

“The lab that we were going to do tomorrow failed horribly in at least three different places. The lab we’re now doing tomorrow involves burning things. Who doesn’t love to burn things?”

Inorganic Chemistry professor announcing to the class why the pre-lab we did for tomorrow is invalid

[scienceprofessorquotes]

“I will bring alcohol to erase the sharpie. Not actual alcohol. Alcohol gel. I dont drink alcohol, so why would I bring it to class?”

Cellular Neuro professor about erasing the sharpie marks she put on the while board

[scienceprofessorquotes]

The lab coats were tailored for midgets.

Our grumpy and already short analytical TA

[scienceprofessorquotes]

...Aaaaaand another one bites the dust.

Chemistry lab TA, after the third volumetric flask was broken on the same day