Apr 13, 2024
they are robot dreaming
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more doodles under
seen from France
seen from Poland
seen from Malaysia
seen from Singapore
seen from Switzerland
seen from Malaysia
seen from Greece
seen from Switzerland
seen from T1
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from Maldives
seen from Russia
seen from Philippines
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from France
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
they are robot dreaming
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more doodles under
"i sleep whenever i want." that phrase has gotten so bad to the point that i might wake up after a while as a spirit out of the body instead of the body actually waking up
i feel my insides raging with jealousy whenever you give someone/something the kind of attention that i want from you
Tomorrow I’m changing my ways and working towards a healthier lifestyle. I’ve never been super unhealthy but after last weekend in Sydney and eating out the entire time as well as drinking a ton more than I have in my whole life I feel awful. My skin is suffering, I feel bloated, ill and I don’t have any energy. Time to start exercising and giving my body the good food it deserves. Hopefully I can stick it out and see some changes within the next couple of months!
Oh you know poisoned myself with dairy again.
In a downward spiral
I have now moved on to big macs and french fries, I may have a problem
It's most likely the lack of medicine talking but I'm tired. I'm tired of not having a purpose. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of liking the girls who are so far out of my reach and are already taken, who are like the dancing squibs of nothingness in your eyes when they try to focus, so close that you can touch them, but so very imaginary. I hate imagining my life as becoming happy. I hate having to take calming breaths every time someone says something. I hate tossing and turning at night while I picture things that I wish were true but are not. I hate not being able to write any more. I hate not being able to learn things. I hate having to wake up. I hate wanting to cry. I hate. I hate. I hate. I hate. I hate me. That's what I hate.
I need to cut,
Not knowing what to do, and this feeling of not being in control is making me crazy. Today wasn't a good day. Ate bad all day, Intake: -Oatmeal 160 calories -2 Grilled cheese 400 calories? -Bowl of cereal 250 calories -Strawberry banana smoothie 300 calories? -Apple 80 calories -1 cup of hot cocoa Total: 1,290
Fucking hell. Tomorrow i'm going to fast since it'll be a holiday. Maybe the gym will be open tomorrow and i'll buy myself a membership. Hopefully I can get re-embursed for the 10 days of this month I missed.