#lady jokes

[well-hello-hi]

Dis some feminist humor, i like my steak so rare that it smells like my period 😌🤤

(Im drunk)

[reality-schmality]

When your period is a week late and you’re starting to wonder if you’re the modern Virgin Mary

[jokesmymomwouldlike]

~* hello, my little blueberry crumbles, this is a gentle reminder that my "lady jokes" tag is not meant to reinforce exclusionary and gender essentialist principles but is rather based on poking gentle fun at the artificial societal construct of a rigid gender binary and the fact that kyriarchal pressures often cause us to behave in ridiculous and eminently mockable ways *~ uwu

[jokesmymomwouldlike]

It seriously took me 23 years of life as a bra-wearing person to figure out that those stupid seams across the cup of your bra that show through all of your clothes are there to camouflage your pokey nipples

[jokesmymomwouldlike]

Man, why do dudes get to have man caves to drink beer and watch sports and shit? I'd love to have a lady cave, but it would literally just sound like I was talking about stuff that was going on in my vagina.

"Oh, yeah, I love to spend time with friends in my lady cave." "Had a wild party in my lady cave last night!" "Just finished spring cleaning my lady cave."

[thefeministreads]

A Compleat To-Do List for the 34-to-56-Year-Old American Woman, as Determined by Ad Placement on Lifetime Television’s Premiere of “Flowers in the Attic” By AUTUMN WHITEFIELD-MADRANO Fix yellow, crooked, softening teeth (Invisalign, ACT mouthwash, Colgate Optic White) Cover gray hair (Nice & Easy, Clairol Age Defy) Find appropriate food for pet with food sensitivities (Fresh Pet, Blue Basics) Find a date (Christian Mingle) Lubricate (Osphema; see above) Cheer on patricide (Lizzie Borden movie with Christina Ricci) Find insurance, preferably from talking and/or oversized baby (State Farm, Nationwide) ...

A Compleat To-Do List for the 34-to-56-Year-Old American Woman, as Determined by Ad Placement on Lifetime Television’s Premiere of “Flowers in the Attic” | The New Inquiry

Too good.

[jokesmymomwouldlike]

My grandma: I went into the chiropractor because of my neck, and my goodness he's one of the most attractive men I've ever seen! He always looks right into your eyes when he talks, like you're the only person in the world.

My mom: I suspect a lot of women in the neighbourhood have suddenly started having back spasms.

My grandma: He'll give *you* spasms!

My dad: *tries to slowly melt into the Earth so that he can escape this conversation*

[sgvstheworld]

From NPR's Monkey See pop-culture blog: Linda Holmes responds to comments made by Lee Aronsohn (co-creator of Two and a Half Men) regarding the status of women in television.