Hello there! My character is a 30-year-old Catholic priest, working in a church in New York. He's only been a priest for four years or so, and he wants to quit. What would be the typical procedure for that? Thank you!
I’m so sorry this took so long!! Thank you for your patience!! And to make matters worse, I…uh…don’t have any answers for you beyond what I was able to Google. So this answer is gonna have a lot of links!
So the relevant keyword here that may help you in your research is laicization, which is the process by which a priest becomes a layperson. From what I’ve been able to turn up in my research, there are essentially two reasons a priest undergoes this: he’s being punished for doing something wrong, or he’s fallen in love and wants to get married (which is incompatible with celibacy). The very first step seems to be talking to your bishop (aka your boss); after that I’m unable to find more concrete step-by-step instructions. Maybe someone should make a WikiHow.
Relevant Reading:
Leaving the Priesthood (This website is ugly as heck but does seem to be legit and has a lot of resources re: laicization, why priests choose to leave, etc.)
A moment that changed me: leaving the priesthood for love (this guy was 29 years old when he left, so this might be good insight for you!)
Can a Priest Ever Return to the Lay State? (Really breaks down Canon Law, which could be useful for you!
Why Do Priests Resign from the Priesthood? (A brief interview with an author who’s interviewed some ex-clergy; maybe you should check out his book!)
I don’t think I can overstate what a big deal this is, and it’s probably a bigger deal for a Catholic priest than I can really imagine myself. It’s not the same as deciding to leave your teaching job of four years because you want to go in a different career direction. On a practical level, Catholic churches often provide housing, so leaving the priesthood also means finding a new home. On a more spiritual or emotional level, it means losing a lot of your friends and colleagues–some people might be supportive, but others might be shocked, disappointed, judgmental. Some parts of it might be a relief (not having to live in a fishbowl anymore), but others might be a shock (learning how to not live in a fishbowl).
If you need step-by-step instructions like “does he need to fill out forms?” then I’ll kick this over to one of my Catholic colleagues. But hopefully that’s enough for you to get started!
