It's been some time since I made this playlist, but finally I've gathered some time to extract the quotes that reminded me of Lance and explain each one of them, song by song.
Freaks of music, Lance, villians and playlist ramblings, you may like this post.
I prayed, I prayed, God sent me right to voicemail
It's like, all day my vanity is for sale
Take it away, my head is in my own hell
I believe when Lance started finding out the truth behind the guard’s acts towards the rare descendants of the dragons, he didn’t want to quite believe it or directly take the path he took. After all, he had his brother and friends in the HQ.
Somebody once told me that there's two sides to life, what's yours?
I might have accidentally let the darkness eat the light
That’s when these dark thoughts were slipping in. He used to be seen as a good person, a reference even, but his sorrow took the best of him.
Sing to me, I am not doing well
Getting tired of my own words
Before faking his death, he had to lie and pretend that everything was okay. Lance is someone that hates liars and seeks the truth, so having to keep that chief-of-the-obsidian-guard-bullshit after discovering that the guard he works for has its hands so dirty had to be terribly exhausting.
I've seen the devil, I've shaken his hand
I've seen the evil that dwells in a man
For all of my wisdom, I can't understand
Oh, mercy me, mercy my
Once he took the blow, he started to process it. The hatred began growing and he didn’t get how the people that were “good” and “kind” (like Miiko, as the chief of the Guard of Eel) were such devils on the inside.
Some things fade, some get saved
Some things are made just to take to the grave
This is where Ashkore’s shadow first appears. When he decides to team up with Leiftan and declare war on the guard. When he decides, that he has to break the crystal for the first time.
If blood doesn’t tell you the truth
Then could you please cut me loose
'Cause I've been wanting to die
The genocide of the last descendants of the dragons and aengels was for nothing. It didn’t fix the chimerical balance of that world and it never would. He wanted to get rid of the crystal and destroy eldarya because the faeries didn’t deserve the sacrifice it was made for them, dying in the process.
If scars are makeup and paint
Then thanks for setting me straight
'Cause I've been living a lie
All of their lives, Valkyon and Lance had been living hiding their true nature in fear of what might happen to them. Not knowing why they were the only dragons left. Working for the people with kind smiles who slaughtered the remains of their kind.
You'd be praying for a saviour to arrive
I'll be patient in the flames
While I'm burning alive
This song is Ashkore. The born of a villain who has decided to end it all, including himself. He stands up against the guard and only one with the same conviction as him (Erika) will be capable of stopping everything he’s pulling.
I can sense you're trembling inside
This song is about confronting Valkyon. Lance knew all along the sorrow and desperation of his brother, but he never did anything about it.
I can't tell you what I feel inside
This feeling burns inside my mind
He never vented up nor talked with Valkyon about what the Guard did. Valkyon had a blind trust in the Guard and Lance never considered that his brother would be capable of understanding his convictions.
I'm gone
Not going home
Going down that lonely road
It's too bad I'll never be back
“I think he resented Valkyon for not embracing his dragon nature and for looking up to him instead of working on himself. Maybe Lance felt lonely.” - @cintanna-stuff
Look down from above
I feel awful
Having the truth told by Fáfnir was another blow. Realizing he could have been with his mother, a woman that loved him dearly and that would have raised him with so much love if the sacrifice had not been made, was painful. Getting to know her was devastating.
The time has come
Let’s all go home
Sinister faces, growing curses
This is my last war
Instead of changing his mind, unfortunately, his vision gets clearer. He knows what to do and he decides that his brother and he must meet the dead ones.
(tanin no kage fumi
kizuitara yoake hitorikiri
hitorikiri wo owarasenai tte
naite ii yo ima dake wa)
After trampling on the shadows of the others
I’ve noticed, I’m completely alone in this sunrise
I cannot finish this alone
Right now, I can only cry
After kidnapping Erika (someone that was willing to listen to him and tried to change his mind), all the killing, all the suffering and even forcing Valkyon to come with him, he realises that no matter what he does, he’s alone. And knowing that you’re alone and the only one who maybe stills loves you will never be at your side again is miserable.
(shukudai yatte nenakucha ne)
I have to finish my homework and go to sleep
The only motivation that’s keeping him alive is his duty and the promise he’ll end up everything, once and for all.
I think we're doomed, I think we're doomed
And now there's no way back
Valkyon was dead. And although the crystal was remade, the soul of his brother wasn’t coming back.
I asked for death, but instead, I'm awake
The Devil told me, "No room for cheats"
I thought I'd sold my soul, but he kept the receipt
He fucked it all. And he was alive to feel it.
You knew the game and played it
It kills to know that you have been defeated
Apart from the loss of Valkyon, he should never forget his conviction. His ideals. He lost a war that he was sure he was going to win because it was either that or die at the hands of the Guard of Eel. And neither of those two things happened.
You knew you had a reason
It killed you like diseases
He wasn’t just one against the HQ. He led AN ARMY whose ideals were based on the need for revenge caused by the corrupt acts of a formal institution. He wasn’t representing people, he was the personification of the sentiment of hurt ones.
NUMB-8 GRAVES
All that he invested in goes straight to hell.
He left it all, his friends, family and home for this. All of it was for nothing. The motive of his life and death was for nothing.
You could knock me out, I could rest in peace
I don't mind if I get to close my eyes
I've been day a day, I've been dying slow
I'm so numb
I give up
He just didn’t care about anything anymore. He was so defeated, didn’t know what to do, didn’t know where to go, that decided to turn himself in. A dead man walking.
I get high to leave all these problems on the ground
Then to my surprise, they're right there when I come back down
He spent a year imprisoned. Locked away from everything, but once Huang Hua sets him free… Everything comes back. Seeing the people who suffered because of him, watching the statues of the saviour who fought against him and the one who rat on them after following his soulmate, walking the same corridors he used to walk accompanied by his baby brother… Everything is there again.
I've been lettin' this shit slide
These bad habits, they die too slow
Changing takes time. The fact that he doesn’t want to destroy this world anymore doesn’t mean he’s magically become another person, or that his outbursts of rage have disappeared.
I've tried getting better, did all of the twelve steps
...he tries, and he makes it. He returns to his old job and becomes a respectable member of the guard again.
I used to be a darling starlet like a centrepiece
Had the whole world wrapped around my ring
He was the golden boy of the HQ. Brave, intelligent, handsome, strong, talented, he had it all. And he lost it.
'Cause nobody seems to ask about me anymore
And nobody ever cares 'bout anything I think
He may work for the guard, but he’s not part of it. He’s not a member of the community because no one loves him nor cares about him.
I'm standin' in the ashes of who I used to be
And I'm faded away, you know, I used to be on fire
He’s the chief of the obsidian guard again, but he will never be the leader he was. They trust his abilities, but they don’t trust him cause he can’t be trusted. He can only be used, and he knows it. He’s no more than a tool at Huang Hua’s disposal and that became clear when in the absence of Nevra and Huang Hua, Huang Chu was in charge instead of Lance, the person with more war experience of the HQ
“We don't talk anymore, we don't talk anymore
We don't talk anymore, like we used to do
We don't love anymore
What was all of it for?
Oh, we don't talk anymore, like we used to do “
