Do you know what my favourite thing about Lan & Nynaeve is?
They’ve both defeated Forsaken
They can’t keep their hands off each other
How supportive they are of each other. They always see and respond to the core of the other person.
Lan is described as hard, cold, almost dead behind the eyes (later on). To Nynaeve his eyes are ‘beautiful,’ his coldness (post-doorframe) is simply sickness not Lan.
She is different around him because he celebrates her competence. Since her parents’ deaths, people have consistently downplayed her abilities or have infantilised her. If Nynaeve was to have a villain-origin story, this would be the genesis. In their first (on page) interaction, Lan congratulates her for tracking him & that immediately gets her hackles down. He questions the setting up of Nynaeve’s Detective Agency but again steps back to let her do what she has to do while reminding her of his love for her. (As a side note, Elayne seeing their dynamic and thinking that’s what she needs to do to keep Rand on his toes makes me cackle. The girl decided three days of making out was on the same level as the King of Malkier giving away the ring of Malkieri kings to his Mashiara. If there’s one thing our Elayne has, it’s the audacity.)
Later on, Lan learns that a literal Forsaken has a personal vendetta against Nynaeve. Does he make it his mission to protect her by treating her as a damsel in distress? Nope. He’s all, ‘I know you can handle it. I’ll just make sure you’re angry enough to do so.” He recognises that she’s a grown and capable woman & only cares about supporting her.
On her end, she sees her husband readying himself to embark on a suicide mission. If there was ever a time to forbid him from doing something, that would be it. She not only recognises how much fighting against the Shadow means to him, she assures him he must do his duty in spite of his feelings for her and actually takes him to the Borderlands. Fine, she takes him to the wrong end but this is Nynaeve, okay? We have to let her get in her petty where she can.
They love and support each other, while maintaining other relationships and obligations. I’m not sure any other couple does that.
Perrin & Faile are a couple I adore. They grow in understanding of eachother but remain largely co-dependent.
The Westlands have Min to thank for staving off Cuendillar Rand for longer than anyone else could. But Min’s entire identity for a long time *is* Rand.
Avi & Elayne are on the other end. They love Rand but their support of him is dependent on their other ties.
Similarly, The Empress, may she live forever, cares for Knotai but it’s Seanchan first.
Egwene and Gawyn never really get the chance to work out their equation.
Lan & Nynaeve do manage to strike that balance. They love each other unconditionally and do so without losing sight of their other duties. The best example of this is in Knife of Dreams: “She gathered all of her courage and held on to it hard, so hard that she ached. She wanted to speak fast, to get the words out before courage failed, but she forced herself to a steady tone and an even pace. “A Borderland saying I heard from you once. ‘Death is lighter than a feather, duty heavier than a mountain.’ My duty lies here, making sure Alivia doesn’t kill Rand. But I will take you to the Borderlands.” She left home for those kids and getting married is not enough to make her lose sight of that. Lan is sworn to fight the Shadow and a wife he loves won’t stop him from doing what he must.
