i wrote a thing. it's based on this mashup. it kinda sucks and it's supposed to be the introduction i guess but i think i'll leave it here for now.
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You know, I still can’t remember where and when I first met her. She’d been in my peripheral for most of my life – she was just one of those girls at school, y’know, the popular ones, the cheerleaders. Posers and sluts. I never really gelled with that crowd. I’ve always been the weird one and when I got to my teens I guess I just embraced that. Got a nose ring, shaved off half my hair, cut the rest into a bob and put electric blue streaks in. Really fucked off my parents, let me tell you. Boy was that a laugh.
Oh right, her. Yeah so we obviously were walking pretty different paths. And I never really noticed her. Though she was definitely always there. Like, if she was sick from school something would feel off. I dunno.
So anyway right, spring break. That’s when I properly met her. There was this barbeque or birthday party or something and my parents dragged me along. A load of mid life crisis bores talking about their jobs. Of course I couldn’t stand more than a minute of this bullshit, so I snuck out for a joint. And that’s when I caught her, leaning up against the fence, lighting up her cigarette, her hand shading the ember from the breeze coming off the sea.
It was a shock. I never knew she was edgy like that. She always struck me as the goody two shoes type.
I borrowed her lighter, we stood side by side awkwardly for a while. Then, it was weird, we started chatting. Like we were old friends. I think she began with a bitch about the party, which I totally agreed with. And that was it I guess. Love at first smoke, or whatever.
And now it’s all back to normal. Man, I thought we HAD something that spring break. It felt like fucking fairy tales for a while, if fairy tales meant sneaking out the back to make out with a hot blonde in the back seat of her car. But it was fun. We did so much stupid shit. She surprised me, she really did. Turned out she was as bored and fucked up as me. Tell you the truth, that vacation was probably the best time of my life.
But apparently it meant nothing to her. Cos as soon as school started again, she was back to her old self. Hanging with her popular friends, flicking her yellow tresses at the boys, ignoring me.
Same old bitch she always was.
Whatever. I don’t need her and I never did.
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In a way I suppose I’ve always loved her. That sounds silly, doesn’t it. But from when we were kids I kinda admired her. She was so spunky and smart. Really intelligent but so rebellious that no-one ever noticed how clever she was. And she was really herself. She had her own identity and she didn’t care who knew it and who she pissed off. When I was younger I was too intimidated to talk to her. And she was a pretty prickly person – I’m sure she would have bitten my head off.
It wasn’t until that spring break when I finally got the courage to converse with her. And even then she’s the one who started it. That vacation was incredible. It was such a thrill, sneaking out to meet her. We’d have wild adventures. Driving out to Big Sur, along roads edged with a thousand foot plunge to the sea. Creeping into abandoned houses to smoke weed and explore. Kissing in the cramped back seat of my dad’s car, her fierce mouth on mine, her hand curling up beneath my blouse.
It was perfection, pure and simple. I never knew I could feel this way with someone else. I’d dated, sure, but the boys I went out with were just that: boys. Fumbling and childlike, swaggering and stupid. I soon realised I was just a prize to them. Of course I kept up appearances. I had a reputation to uphold. If I’d sworn off dating, what then? I’d be ostracised, cast out. People would whisper and gossip and I couldn’t have that. If there’s gossip I have to be the one in control of it.
But she... she made me forget all of that. She didn’t care about reputation; she saw what she wanted and she took it. And now I was what she wanted.
Or I thought I was.
When we got back to school she seemed to change. We went back to our friends, of course. And I kept waiting for her to call, waiting for that tap on my window at night that meant excitement and adventure and her.
I didn’t see her for ages. First I blamed myself, then I blamed her. She finally came round, saying she needed space. Wasn’t that what she’d been having the past few weeks? I challenged her, she shot back retorts and judgements, called me a stuck up bitch. We fought, I cried, she left.
I suppose our spring fling was just that: a fling and nothing more.
Disney/Dreamworks character you most remind me of? Megara, from Hercules
A snarky brunette with fabulous hair who had bad relationships in the past and used to be cynical about love until she met an adorable and awkward sweetie pie?
FUCK YES.
(Incidentally, I know what my next cosplay is gonna be, if I can figure out how to get my hair like that)
Scar (someone I want to kill): ooh, that's a hard one. There are a lot of people who I think should die in a "rargh, I hope they die miserably in a plague of horseflies!" sort of way, but not in an actual "I have the rope and kerosine and butterfly nets in the car right now, let's go" sort of way. I think I'll go with burning down the old school of a friend of mine - from what I understand, it runs on institutionalized hazing, so a good old bonfire wouldn't make me shed too many tears.
Jafar (three wishes): Hmm.
That I live a long, happy, and successful life, surrounded by the people I love and who love me.
The end of oppression for everyone - everyone gets an equal playing field, everyone is guaranteed food, safety, shelter, healthcare, and fair treatment, and those who work hard are always rewarded for their efforts by getting more things on top of those basic assurances.
(Since I want a selfish one) I want to actually have the willpower and skill to write bestselling feminist fantasy novels that are more widely read and loved even than Tamora Pierce. Like, I want to be the JK Rowling of feminist fantasy.
Judge Frollo (someone I want to fuck): Boyfriend, at the mo.
Actually, the Total Perspective Vortex (the device you talked about) Zaphod Beeblebrox was put into was actually an illusion inside the computer-generated universe created Zarniwoop. He was not the most important being in the universe, just that tiny, custom made corner
Ah, I forgot, it's long since I read the HHGTG sequeal.
