#laser gun queue queue

[big-ass-magnet]

my favorite Mcelroy goof: someone says something terrible and Griffin yells at them to go to jail.

[bigasswritingmagnet]

Mech in Shining Armor 2.0 Chapter Six

Fandom: Transformers G1

Pairing: Jazz/Prowl

Summary: Jazz is a prostitute, left for dead. Prowl rescues him. Jazz doesn’t trust him. Prowl just wants to help. Jazz might be falling in love with him, just a little. And that’s the least of Jazz’s problems.

(A03 Link)

“I still don’t get it. Modern art is just so... disorganized .”

“You’re looking at it all wrong. It’s not trying to show you what the subject looks like, it’s showing what the subject is .”

“That makes no sense whatsoever.”

“It’s about the greater context! Come on, Prowler, open your mind!”

“I’m perfectly open-minded,” Prowl said, pausing to unlock the door. “I just refuse to accept any art style that gives me a headache.”

Jazz rolled his eyes, in doing so spotted something in the upper corner of the doorframe.

“Is that a camera?”

Prowl glanced up.

“Yes, it is.”

“Do all the apartments here have those?”

“No, I installed that personally.”

“Why? You don’t trust the security here?”

“No,” Prowl said, opening the door. His tone was flat and tense. Jazz thought he should let it go, but there was another camera in the corner of the front room.

“How many of those are in here?” And how had he never noticed them before.

Prowl’s doorwings hitched up in embarrassment.

“A few. It’s not as extensive as it looks. The cameras only turn on when the sensor at the door is triggered.”

“And what triggers the sensor at the door?”

“Whenever someone enters the house when I’m not there,” Prowl said, not looking at Jazz in the least.

If that was supposed to calm Jazz down, it was the most socially inept Prowl had ever been.

“ Seriously ? I’ve seen banks with less security! Are you hiding government secrets in here?” he asked. “Primus, if this was Kaon maybe I’d understand but Tyger Pax ?”

“I like to be a careful.”

“Careful! This is careful ? I’d hate to see what you think is overkill! Do you think someone is going to come sliding under the door in the middle of the--”

“By the Allspark Jazz, would you stop ?”

Jazz pulled up short. Prowl had actually shouted. His doorwings were higher than Jazz had ever seen them, shivering with agitation.

“It might seem excessive to you, but there have been plenty of instances to assure me that this level of protection is absolutely necessary!”

“Well excuse me for worrying that the person I’m living with might have some sort of secret paranoia glitch!”

“Who are you to judge me for how I live my life?”

Jazz’s spark stuttered in his chest in the worst way. His vocalizer froze up. He tried to speak, but couldn’t even close his mouth from where it had dropped open. Prowl glared at him and stalked away.

They didn’t speak for the rest of the day.

The next morning was filled with awkward, stilted silence. Breakfast was eaten separately. Prowl stayed in the living room. Jazz haunted the kitchen.

Who are you to judge me for how I live my life?

That had stung worse than Jazz would have expected. It was an attitude he was well used to from the world. But not from Prowl. After all those days of insisting, all that big talk about justice and you deserve nice things ...

“Jazz.”

Jazz glanced up at Prowl, then looked away.

“Jazz, I’m sorry.”

That made Jazz glance up again. Prowl’s expression was the most open Jazz had ever seen it. He looked sad and upset and guilty.

“People call me things all the time, they call me paranoid and cold and boring and I don’t mind because I don’t care but. But when you called me that I.” Prowl vented hard. “I care about what you think of me. I care more about your opinion of me than anyone else in my life and it. Hurt. The idea that you thought of me the same way everyone else does just...made me so angry. And I wanted to hurt you back.”

Prowl paused, but Jazz couldn’t think of anything to say.

“It was stupid,” the mech went on. “It was stupid and cruel and I didn’t mean it, I swear, Jazz. You’re my friend.”

Part of Jazz said that he shouldn’t trust Prowl. It said that this was just a coverup, that Prowl was just as bad as everyone else Jazz had ever met.

The rest of him saw the look in Prowl’s optics and knew better.

“I shouldn’t have called you paranoid,” Jazz said. “After everything you’ve done for me, I’ve got no business fussing over how you do things. You’re a smart mech, Prowl. I know you’ve got your reasons. So I’m sorry too.”

Relief washed over Prowl’s face, making his doorwings sag.

“So we cool?” Jazz asked.  

Prowl’s mouth curved up into a small but genuine smile.

“We’re cool.”

“Good. Bring it in.”

Prowl’s expression melted into alarm.

“What?”

“Bring it in.” Jazz approached Prowl with his arms outstretched. Prowl took a step back.

“What are you doing?”

Jazz wrapped his arms around Prowl and pulled him into a hug.

“What-- Jazz-”

“Shhhh, we’re huggin it out, my mech.”

“What? Jazz--”

“Let it happen, Prowler.”

“This is unnecessary.”

“Oh it’s necessary. Gotta hug out all those bad vibes.”

“But--”

“You wanna be friends? Gotta get used to the hugging.”

Prowl sighed.

“I suppose I did ask for this.”

“No takebacks.”

“ Primus .”

“Shhhh.”

[big-ass-magnet]

It’s my giiiirl!

The store had miniature painting tonight! So fiddly. I think I did a good job for my first time, but man I don’t think this is something I could do regularly. 

DnD today was fun, but unusual. It was market day, so they set up the room to have a stall and dragon racing to bet on and we all got prop gold to represent what we had in game. And then were encouraged to use as many underhanded tricks as we could to get stuff without paying for it, and to rig the dragon riding game (to an extent). 

And then I connected with a group of people who stole me a +1 shield. Out of game it was because they just loved stealing stuff and thought it would be fun character play. In universe it’s because the female tiefling bard came to really appreciate how good Fei Ming was at standing in front of people when danger happens. 

She was a lot of fun, I hope we end up playing together. 

Anyway, I’m having a great time and I already can’t wait til next week. 

[big-ass-magnet]

Peachblossom: I hate all humans equally. 

(later)

Peachblossom: I care for Kel. 

[big-ass-magnet]

Concept for the next Andromeda Game

Ryder and Akksul end up stranded somewhere and have to work together to get back to safety. You can either play it as teeth-clenched teamwork leading to grudging admiration or Ryder being obnoxiously chipper and determined to make Akksul their friend by the end of their “adventure” whether he likes it or not.

“Stop calling it an adventure.” 

“It’s an adventure!” 

“We’re going to die.” 

Just imagine the possibilities. 

[big-ass-magnet]

I hate when people tag their personal blog posts as “shut up self” or “nobody cares [name]”. Like...I am following your blog on purpose???? Because I care about you???? Please be kind to yourself!!!! I care!!! I am interested in your life, even the really mundane details! Go ahead and complain about not having enough marshmallows in your cereal, I’m okay with it on my dash!!!! So is everyone else who follows you that’s why they follow you.

[big-ass-magnet]

It’s one am and I can’t stop thinking about aliens in classic Earth media

there is canonically a ‘40 year old virgin’ movie with an 840 year old asari why can’t I have a turian John McClane 

- an at least partially turian production of Hamilton

- You’ve Got Mail, a turian playing Joe Fox and a human as Kathleen (mmmm those racial subtexts) 

- post-Reaper war someone does a Casablanca re-imagining. it gets mixed reviews. 

- Ghost with Asari

- West Side Story but in Zakera Ward

- The Proposal with a turian female as the Sandra Bullock character  nd an asari as the beleaguered assistant 

-speaking of sandra bullock,  The Heat featuring uptight turian specter Sarex  Ashbus being forced to work on Earth with a boorish human cop (’ass bus’ is used at least once)

- TURIAN JAMES BOND. You thought people were upset at a blonde JB, hoo boy you ain’t seen nothin yet

- Minority Report with asari

-alternatively Minority Report with salarians

- The Matrix with salarians

-there’s just so much potential for “we were so busy asking ourselves if we could that we forgot to ask if we should” for the salarians 

- Terminator series where it’s a krogan instead of Arnold Schwarzenegger 

-Taken with a turian doing his best Liam Neeson impression as he mows down batarians who kidnapped his asari daughter

-Bourne Ultimatum but it was Salarians behind the whole thing

- TURIAN BATMAN. It tanks. Turians don’t like people not following the rules. It’s Garrus’ favorite movie. 

i’m so tired but this is really important to me

[big-ass-magnet]

I HAVE OPINIONS ABOUT ANDROMEDA, PART 2

COMPANIONS!!! THEY ARE GREAT!!!

COMPANIONS SO FAR

-Liam is a ray of sunshine and I love him. i was concerned because he was written by the guy that did Jacob but Liam is pure and sweet and great so I think it’ll be okay

- Cora is still cold and prickly so I’m not sure how I feel. Bioware I don’t want to judge but really? she spent years in an asari commando group and you tell me she’s straight? with that hair? not buying it.

-PeeBee. My opinions towards PeeBee can best be escribed as a grimace and a palm-down-wiggly hand motion combined with “Ehhh...” So far she’s just kind of irritating, it’s definitely just personal preference. I’ve never been a fan of that kind of ‘kooky’ character. Maybe she’ll get more interesting. 

- Drack - please adopt me I want to be your granddaughter also. He’s a lot different than Wrex, which is nice. Straight out the gate he’s a lot more accepting and way less prickly, as well as more open and comfortable with his emotions. his relationship with his granddaughter is so??? sweet??? HE’S SUCH A GOOD FATHER FIGURE!!!!

Vetra - my queen. never before have i understood the concept of “she could step on me and I would be okay with that”. except Vetra would probably apologize and pick me up and dust me off and get me a blanket. she’s so funny and caring.