Let’s Talk About Tacos (& News)
So this is a departure from our usual little chats. Let’s talk for a second about tacos, okay? Don’t act like you have something better to do. You are the one cruising the Internet looking at random blogs... let’s face it: you are probably being paid to do something a little more productive right now, aren’t you? So let’s talk about tacos for a bit, shall we? Then I have a little news.
Hey Michael, you say, aren’t you a guy that writes about people fighting and stuff? Yes, yes I am. Shouldn’t you be working on your next book? Probably. Why are you going on about tacos then? Authors got to eat, too. I am know expert, but I am pretty sure that Shakespeare, Hemingway and Bob Kane all ate. And they still had time to write Othello, The Sun Also Rises and create Batman. No eating, no Batman. Think about that for a minute... a world without Batman.
Once the whole celiacs thing came up a while back my life changed. Mainly for the best, of course. Obviously since it turned out I had to avoid gluten (not to be trendy but to avoid mood changes, arthritis like joint pain, breathing issues and a slew of hilariously entertaining gut and bowel issues) my diet changed, too. Out was stout, which was harsh, and licorice. Did you know that licorice is made out of wheat flour? How crazy is that? Anyway, tacos moved up the list because they are pretty easy to make and avoid gluten without getting too weird. You could be eating gluten free tacos without even realizing it... there aren’t many gluten free dishes that can claim that.
So tacos, and their very close relative nachos, are pretty awesome. They are versatile. Need something vegetarian? Tacos. Gluten free? Tacos. Straight up normal? Tacos. Need to skip meat for Lent? Fish tacos. Tofu tacos. Bean tacos. Seriously, tacos are like the perfect food.
But I am not here to sell you on the amazingosity (I don’t care how thickly AutoCorrect underlines that... I believe it is a real word) of tacos. I am pretty sure you know how tacos are since it is the 21st century and all. What I want to talk about is how to make your tacos even more awesome. Let me tell you a secret: tacos are the perfect platform to go all fusion cuisine without any real training or idea what the hell you are doing. Trust me, I don’t know what the hell I am doing. I just know I like to eat and eat well. Here are my taco tips. Four ways to make your next dinner forty times better.
Tip 1: Get saucy. Before you hit your tacos with some jarred salsa or lame hot sauce that may or may not originate in New York City take a second to survey your refrigerator. This is you chance to go a little crazy and get all Food Channel. Make your taco like normal and then hit it with something special. Dig into your Asian food stuff and try sweet and sour sauce, duck sauce or some fish sauce. Nice! If you are going light, especially if you are heavy of the lettuce and veggies, try a splash of rice wine vinegar. My favorite is a good sweet chili sauce. It is like a jalapeño jelly but, frankly, easier to find in the supermarket. It is spicy like you want in a taco with a little sweet kick. Beautiful.
But I don’t have anything like that, you say. You aren’t off the hook just because you don’t know where the closest international grocery store is (which, by the way, you should find). Try barbecue sauce. I love barbecue sauce on tacos... it is Tex Mex at its purest. Live a little! Get crazy. Another favorite of mine is tamarind and date chutney on a taco. So good! You will find that in the Indian food section.
Tip 2: Lettuce is boring. Nothing is wrong with lettuce. I like lettuce but you can spruce up your taco with other stuff. In fact, keep the lettuce for a minute but add some of this stuff. Grate some jicama for a nice crunch. Jicama is pretty easier to find... it is like a big turnip or some crap. I don’t know what it is, but it is kind of a raw potato/water chestnut consistency. It is better raw than potato, though. You know what? If you are going Asian, why not throw in some water chestnuts? Grate some carrots or radish, too. These all add a new texture and dimension to the vegetable side of your tacos.
Want to really switch it up? Cabbage instead of lettuce. I prefer cabbage to lettuce because it has more body and it stands up to the other ingredients, at least in my opinion. You can even use cabbage leaves as a tortilla substitute in a pinch, but I honestly think that is going too far. I also am not a fan of cole slaw, but if you are then I bet you would love it in your taco.
I have saved the best vegetable upgrade for last and that it cucumbers. Dice’s up and throw’em in for a real brightener to your taco. It is that simple: just add cucumber. If you have a little more time, though, you can make an awesome fresh salsa alternative with some diced cucumber and tomato, tossed in a little vinegar (I prefer the rice wine, but other vinegars work) with some coarse salt and maybe a little feta or parmesan cheese. If you make that before you start cooking and just let it sit a bit then you have a kind of simple pickle salsa. Good stuff. Another great add in to this salsa brings us to our next tip.
Tip 3: Bacon brings the umami. Bacon is awesome. It is full of that hard to describe umami flavor... but tacos already tend to have umami. Tomatoes, for example, are among the umami foods. So are beef and chicken. So are certain cheeses. Bacon just tops it all off. If you don’t try anything else I say, throw some damn bacon on your standard tacos and enjoy. What? You are all for making your taco into an umami bomb but you don’t eat meat? Mushrooms.
Tip 4: No more clones. Nobody (normal) eats just one taco. That’s really messed up. But just because you are making a plate with two or three or five tacos does not mean that you need to production line out a bunch of identical products. Try different sauces, vegetables or whatever on the same plate. Make a taco like you always have and then slap it down side by side with ones sporting chutney, sweet chili paste and that fresh cucumber, tomato and bacon salsa I was just talking about. It is like a taco sampler. It doesn’t get better than that.
Dads: next time it is your turn to cook, make tacos.Better yet, if you normally don’t do the cooking then step up and volunteer to make tacos. Take an extra 15 minutes and break out all the sauces you can find in the kitchen, dice up some cucumbers, tomatoes and whatever other vegetable you can find. Let everyone in the family make their own taco creations. It will be a hit. Then, to celebrate, grab a copy of The Grand Tournament on Amazon (available in paperback or Kindle edition).
And now, the news. I promised you a little news and here it is. I am writing a new book that is not connected to The Grand Tournament in any way (other than the fact I wrote’em both). I have had some hold ups (extended jury duty, the sudden news that we are going to be moving across the state, some family stuff) while working on it and it is shaking my rhythm... I am back at it but not ready to talk too much about it yet. I am taking a break from the book, though, to put out a prequel novella to The Grand Tournament. I hope to have it ready and out by the end of April and I am determined to release it for free. So if you have read and enjoyed The Grand Tournament (and most of you seem to enjoy it) then you are going to want to read this novella! And if you aren’t sure that a kung fu movie you can read is your type of book, the new story will let you figure out if this is your genre for free.
All I can say is that the novella is set many years before The Grand Tournament, you don’t have to have already read The Grand Tournament to follow the novella and the new story will not ruin The Grand Tournament in any way. All new characters in an all new adventure that I am tentatively calling The Mountain Tiger... which may tip off some readers to what it is about. Stay tuned to the blog for news on when The Mountain Tiger will be released. Better yet, visit SwordsAndRayguns.com and sign up for the mailing list. I will probably announce it there first because I don’t do much with the mailing list and announcing new releases seems like a good idea, doesn’t it?
