#lav.txt

[vamppvania]

one last heist......

[lavendergarnet]

me noodling about vash and human plants and xenobiology cuz i read an absolute banger fic by jelly_doughnut on ao3 (putting under a read more only because the poast might be long as hell)

i think it would be really interesting to lean into the whole idea of him being a Human Plant where theres a tentacle genitalia situation going on because plants have stamens right? but then if thats the case my question is "where does the ejaculate come from" and it dawned on me that even since the homestuck days i genuinely did not know how to answer that. although i think the idea that maybe the tentacle comes out of a muscle/flesh structure that might be more similar to a human vulva is really interesting, i like it. i feel like a female* human plant might have a similar structure but maybe no tentacle. so maybe the dichotomy (if there is one) is structured more like, a male* tentacle would have a segment toward the tip with specialized microscoping pores that had the same functionality as an anther, and a female reproductive system has the same external look but internally has the stigma and/or ovaries to gestate.

however. pollen isnt like human sperm thats like, cells suspended in a biofluid. im seeing pollen as more like a sperm packet, because its the smaller germ cells inside of a hard outer structure (sometimes i see it presented like some kind of shell with pores but ive seen other ones where its like, a weird geometric matrix with pores) that will do the fertilizing once the hard outer layer is dissolved right

see what i think would happen is that like. maybe theres only one segment towards the end of the tentacle with microscopic pores that release the sperm packets suspended in a biofluid because vash is still humanoid.

so because im a filthy yumeshipper my next thought was "what if you let him fuck you raw and it takes WAY longer to realize you're pregnant because the 'pollen' cells take longer to dissolve in a fully human body than they would for another humanoid plant body" and maybe not even he knows fully how this works so he just assumes humans and human plants can't really reproduce (or at the very least its VERY hard)

i just listened to a podcast episode about coelacanths gestating eggs for around 5 years before giving birth to live young. i don't think it would take that long, but as far as the actual gestating process and birth goes i feel like thats how it would go if vash did successfully impregnate a regular human. i don't know that labor would happen similarly though. i think maybe it Would be similar but maybe the period for what constitutes labor is way longer and theres more bodily fluids involved because of the egg "hatching" (idk if thats the word for when animals do that)

*disclaimer: i use "male" and "female" in a sense of like "one side of a dichotomous sex system," but also we have no idea if human plants have a dichotomous sex system so im not hugely invested in that being definitive. like instead of A/B could also be A/B/C/D/etc. ykwm? especially because (afaik) i havent seen any female human plant characters. i know birds can have more than 2 sexes and funguses have been observed to have over 300 so why not human plants too

idk if anyone has more thoughts on this im open to it, im not that far into stampede yet so maybe theres more that i can work with later

[gougarfem]

people on here are like "i shave my entire body twice a week because of sensory issues... anyway the new 100% polyester fishnets i bought from shein are sooo cute! i think this outfit will be better when i bleach my scalp and put on some liquid foundation though" and everyone is like yeah makes sense i'll do that too

[lavenderpilled]

i think the jirai community deserves financial compensation for the misinfo that addyharajuku has spread

[gorenography]

darkwood fans did we know this was happening. Is there anyone out there

[villeve]

I lost my spark for fandom for so long, and now Gelphie .... I am feral again. I am saved

[heraldofevolution]

Oh I forgot to mention it, I am back home and staying with my friend

[awomen]

I love it when a moid realizes you won't laugh at his unfunny jokes and you can see his attraction to you just.. disappear