I’m a day late, but still wanted to join in! I’m away atm and only have a HB to draw with, so hopefully this little doodle will be okay! Hope flowers count ☺️❤️
All of these fics will be cross-posted to AO3 [username indigorose50]. Link on my blog!
It was a mark of how desperate Sportacus was that he sought out Robbie for help. He and Robbie had enjoyed a semi-truce lately: Sportacus had steered the kids away from Robbie’s favorite napping spots and Robbie hadn’t tried to kick Sportacus out of town. Even so, asking Robbie for help was a last ditch effort.
Robbie answered the knocking on his hatch with a glare ready in place. “What?” He snapped.
Sportacus held up his potted plant. “It’s dying.”
He thought it would take more than that but Robbie beckoned him inside immediately. With a quick twist, Robbie was dressed in a white doctor’s coat, complete with stethoscope around his neck.
“So!” He began after gesturing for Sportacus to put the plant on the kitchen table. “How are you torturing this poor creature?”
“I do not know!” Sportacus said honestly. The lavender plant was slowly turning brown. Most of the leaves near the end of their branches were dry and fell off at the slightest touch. “I water it, give it plenty of sun, but it’s just getting worse!”
Robbie hummed and circled the plant. Occasionally he poked at a branch or rubbed a leaf. Sportacus waited quietly, trying not to break Robbie’s concentration. Fruit plants and vegetable gardens he could do— but this lavender plant was frustrating.
“Got it!”
At Robbie’s shout, Sportacus jumped. “What?”
“I know the problem. Of course I do; I’m a genius!”
“That’s wonderful, Robbie!” Sportacus clapped. “How can I fix it?”
Robbie took off the stethoscope. “Oh, you can’t.”
The elation that had flared up in Sportacus went out. “I… can’t?”
“You can’t,” Robbie repeated. “I can.” He picked up the pot and rested it on his hip like it was a child. “Come back in two days and I’ll have it fixed.”
“You will fix it for me?”
“After seeing the condition of this plant, I don’t want to risk you trying so, yes. I’ll do it for you.”
With a bright smile, Sportacus reached out to hug Robbie. “Thank you!”
“Don’t do that!” Robbie took gigantic steps back to escape Sportacus’ outstretched arm. “None of your touchy-feely Elf stuff.”
Sportacus put up his hands. “Sorry. I will be back in two days then.” Robbie waved a hand dismissively and Sportacus climbed back out of the lair, a little embarrassed by his actions.
He was halfway to his ship when he realized Robbie hadn’t asked for anything in exchange.
Two days later, Sportacus knocked on the hatch again. It opened right away and he slid down, ending with a perfect flip into the lair. Robbie, standing by his chair, rolled his eyes. “Do you have to?”
Sportacus chuckled. Beside Robbie were two plants: one in the pot Sportacus had left here and the second one in a bright orange pot. “What’s that?” Sportacus asked, pointing.
Grinning triumphantly, Robbie held out the orange potted plant. “Congratulations, it’s a lavender.”
“It— what?”
“The problem was that your plant was getting too big for its pot,” Robbie explained, still smiling. “Its roots were all tangled and tight. Basically, I took it out and separated it into two lavender plants. Now they both can grow. In short,” Robbie waved one of the lavender branches, “your plant had a baby.”
Sportacus stared at the two lavenders before letting out a ‘woop’ and grabbing the orange pot from Robbie. “That’s amazing, Robbie! You really separated all the roots? That must have taken forever!”
Robbie’s smile went from gloating to sheepish and he rubbed the back of his neck. “It was— well, I won’t pretend it didn’t take hours. You had that poor thing cramped! I’m surprised it hadn’t packed up and walked away itself!”
With a snort, Sportacus shook his head. “I never would have figured this out without you, Robbie. Thank you so much.”
“It takes a unique mind to come up with these things,” Robbie said, tapping his temple. His smugness was returning. Deservedly so, in Sportacus’ opinion.
“So, what would you like?”
“What would I like?”
“In exchange for helping me,” Sportacus explained. “What would you like in return?”
Robbie’s mouth hung open loosely as he stared at Sportacus. That he hadn’t just yelled “I would like you to leave town forever” immediately was indicative of how far their tense friendship had come.
“I… I would like ice cream,” Robbie finally answered after a moment.
“Sure,” Sportacus put down the plant again, ready to take out a pen and paper. “What kind do you—”
“Ice cream,” Robbie interrupted. “with you.”
“With… me?”
“Yes. Come with me to get ice cream.”
Sportacus’ heart beat a little louder in his ear. “Why do you need me to be there?”
Robbie scowled even as his face turned pink and red. “Because it won’t be a d-date otherwise!”
“A date?”
“Yes!”
“You want to go on a date with me?”
Robbie waved his arms wordlessly and then dug his fingers into his gelled hair. “What part of this is confusing?!”
“S-Sorry!” Sportacus was sure he was turning interesting shades as well. It was a good thing he had put the plant down already; his hands were starting to sweat. “No one has asked me on a date before!”
Robbie’s eyes pointedly ran over Sportacus’ arms and chest and hair. “How?! Never mind,” he added flatly, putting up a hand as Sportacus opened his mouth. “Never mind just— are you okay with getting ice cream together or not?”
Trying to discreetly wipe his hands on his pants, Sportacus nodded rapidly. “Yes. Yes, let’s go.”
Robbie’s shoulders sagged in apparent relief. “Great.” He picked up both plants and handed them to Sportacus. “I know a great spot run by an incredibly handsome person.”
They turned to leave but Sportacus hesitated. Doubling back to the armchair, he placed the orange pot onto the cushion. Robbie raised an eyebrow at him. “I said the date was my payment.”
“I know. This is a gift. It’s traditional to give flowers when you start courting someone.”
The blush was back and it ran all the way to Robbie’s ears this time. Smiling, Sportacus took his hand and led Robbie up the pipe, revived lavender plant in his free arm.
Day #2: Memes/Jokes
------------------------------
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” the girl whispered.
“Of course I’m sure! What do you take me for?” the man hissed back.
“I dunno. Some of your ideas are…well, you know…”
“My ideas are what, exactly?”
“Uh…perfect?”
“That’s what I thought you said,” he huffed.
The girl just sighed and shook her head while the man sitting by her side prepped the device between them. She shrugged and turned back to the pair of purple binoculars in her hands, leaning over to try and get a better view of the path. Robbie busied himself setting their ammunition in place.
Trixie resumed her watch with the comically large binoculars pressed closely to her face. Their previous victim, Ziggy, had absolutely loved the prank and both she and her partner in crime were ready to spring their fine-tuned trap on another unsuspecting pedestrian.
“See anyone?” Robbie whispered, rustling the leaves of their hide-away bush when he leaned over to do so.
“If I did, they’d know we were here already!” she snapped back with a hiss. “You’re too loud!”
“I’m too loud—?” The bush rattled again as the villain got his voice back under control, returning to a subdued whisper quickly. “I’m too loud? What about you? People in Siberia could hear your breathing!”
“As if!”
Robbie harrumphed and the pair went back to their stake-out. It was a little disappointing that there was so little foot traffic for such a nice day, but they could wait. It would be worth it. And at least it was warm out, and they had some sturdy branches to keep comfortable while they waited. It was so comfortable, in fact, that Robbie had started to doze off when he was suddenly smacked in the ribs by a small hand. He let out a yelp only to have that same hand immediately cover his mouth. Trixie glared at him. He licked her palm, daring to face the nasty child germs that resided there just to watch the look of silent horror on her face as he yanked her hand away and began wiping it furiously on her pants. Heh. Worth it.
“Gross!” she whined as quietly as she could manage.
“Serves you right,” Robbie whispered back.
“You were gonna start snoring and ruin everything!” Before her companion could give a retort, the girl pointed through the leaves. “See! Someone’s coming!”
Even without his binoculars, Robbie could see the shape of a humanoid figure approaching, and quickly! He gasped, flailing around and shaking their hiding place terribly as he got himself into position. Trixie huffed at him in annoyance, but held the binoculars up to her eyes and fell into the intense concentration that only a well-executed prank could bring to her.
“Steady,” she whispered.
Robbie’s fingers twitched in anticipation.
“Almost…”
His lip curled excitedly into a menacing grin.
“Get ready.”
The man’s hand was poised over the release switch, just waiting for the little girl’s signal.
“And…now!”
Robbie slapped the release with all his strength. A pair of arms parted the shrubbery to make way for the immense pie that was flung out by his ingeniously crafted slingshot. The pie whistled as it flew through the air, hitting its target with a thick, wet slorp that was just music to Robbie’s evil ears. A loud thud soon followed, and Robbie and Trixie alike jumped to their feet. Roaring in jubilant glee, they popped out from their bush to see who had be unlucky enough to walk into their delicious trap. The cheering and laughter soon stopped, however, when they recognized the victim.
“Sportacus!” Robbie yelped, hands flying up to grasp at his hair. He turned immediately to Trixie. “You didn’t tell me it was Sportaflop!”
The girl held up her hands as she shook her head, mouth agape in shock for a moment. “I couldn’t tell! I didn’t have a great view and…”
Robbie waved her away. There was no time for squabbling; Sportacus needed him! Robbie tumbled out of the suddenly obstructive bush to get to the boyfriend that was lifelessly sprawled on his back in the middle of the walkway. He only tripped twice on the way, shedding leaves and sticks as he went.
“Of all the times for me to have perfect aim!” he cried as he fell to his knees beside the town hero. “Oh no,” he moaned as he looked upon the unconscious hero. “Oh, I am in so much trouble…” With shaking hands, he pried away the pie tin that covered Sportacus’ face. Seeing the hero’s pie-covered image made Robbie cringe. “…I’m going to be in the doghouse forever.”
Trixie crept closer to the scene, trying to get a better look at the sugary carnage.
“Is he okay?” she asked hesitantly.
Robbie chewed nervously on his lower lip while desperately trying to wipe his boyfriend’s face clean of pie. “Does he look okay, Tricky?” His voice sounded much higher than usual.
The little girl was undeterred. “He didn’t….you know...did he?”
Robbie let out a squeak before answering. “If you’re asking if I gave my boyfriend a sugar meltdown by throwing a pie right at his stupid hero mouth, then yes! Yes I did!” Robbie cried. He clutched his temples, his pie-covered hands smearing the stuff through his hair. “Go get me some sportscandy or something! We have to wake him up!”
“I can’t.”
The villain’s head whipped toward the child so quickly that one might worry that Robbie had snapped his own neck. “What?”
“I can’t!” Trixie cried, throwing up her hands. “There isn’t any! We were picking all the apples and all that stuff yesterday! There’s nothing left!”
“Nothing left?” Robbie shrieked.
“That’s what I said!”
“How in the name of villainy can there be an apple shortage in the apple capital of the world?”
Trixie made a face. “In the what…?”
Robbie ignored her, already having moved on to Plan B. It wasn’t the best idea he’d ever had, but he was desperate. He grabbed a fistful of nearby turf and patted Sportacus’ cheek, hoping the sensation might help bring some sense back to the town hero. Oh, he hoped this worked.
“Okay, Sportaconcious, you’ve gotta work with me here. You, uh…you like salad, right?” He looked dubiously at his handful of grass. “It’s, uh…all natural.”
Someone snorted.
Robbie growled, looking over his shoulder at the little girl standing there. She was smiling, but shrugged. “Wasn’t me,” she said, sinking a bit into her own shoulders as she spoke, as though she was trying to hold in laughter.
There was another amused snort nearby and, for lack of anywhere else to look, Robbie looked back down at his boyfriend. Sportacus was smiling. Another snort and the hero fell into outright laughter, finally opening his eyes. Robbie’s jaw dropped at the sight of it.
“You’re…but the pie…how…what?”
Sportacus giggled, eyes giving his boyfriend’s hand a quick glance. “Were…were you going to try and feed me grass?” the hero laughed.
Robbie continued to stare, frozen in place at the revelation that the elf was still conscious after taking a pie to the face. “You’re—?”
“Surprise!” Sportacus chucked, sitting up and delivering a cream-covered kiss to Robbie’s cheek.
“But how!”
Now it was Trixie’s turn to giggle. “It’s easy when the pie doesn’t have any sugar in it!” she said, proudly setting her hands on her hips. “Sportacus and I planned everything.”
Robbie gaped at the two of them, looking back and forth in amazement. “You—you tricked me? You? But you’re the hero! And You—!” He pointed back at Trixie. “—We were supposed to be partners!”
“Playing the long con!” the little girl said with a confident grin.
Sportacus wiped some of the pie remnants from around his eyes. “It was a good joke, wasn’t it, Robbie? When Trixie told me about it I just couldn’t resist.”
Robbie looked back at his pie-covered boyfriend in amazement. “I…” He shook his head, shoulders relaxing slightly now that he finally began to realize Sportacus was okay, despite looking like some kind of whipped cream monster. “I am a terrible influence on you!”
Sportacus snickered for a moment before bursting into laughter again. Robbie couldn’t help himself. Slowly, he felt himself smile and begin to laugh, too. Trixie beamed, watching the pair as Sportacus playfully smushed some of the leftover pie into Robbie’s face to make the villain laugh even harder. She only looked away when the pair began to kiss. Even without pie everywhere, kissing was just gross.
