#learning my lessons

[loveoverpride]

Said no and set a work boundary today.

I am very proud of myself.

- recovering people pleaser

[existentialfuryfairy]

Discomfort. Its a bitch. I can feel the resistance I, myself, am creating. I feel gross, I feel addicted to you with no right to be. And reaaally, no reason to tell you I have feelings- do I really even have feelings or are you a comfort in my my normal "comfortable discomfort"? With this, at least I know what to expect; you dont ask much of me (which I like most of the time) and I know not to expect a god damn thing from you. I also know that I would never be able to be with you, for many reasons. I wish I didnt have all the words I feel like I need to say to you. Or maybe just that I want to say to you. I am attracted to the fact that you dont want me- and if you did, Id be completely turned off.

Im tired of the normal "comfortable discomfort". I am craving the cold sting of feeling, self control, results, and strength. At least the new discomfort will be sharp and crisp. Rather than jagged, rough, cyclical feel of the "settled for" life that Ill have if I dont change some shit.

[journeyfrom400]

I’m not in control

I lost my wallet. Not permanently, I knew, gut instinct that it was somewhere in my possession but that it wasn’t to hand.

I drove to work thinking it was there. It was not. My low gas light went on 5 miles from work.

No wallet= no gas money. I came up with multiple schemes to try to fix this without asking for help.

In the end I drove myself slightly insane and blew all my plans for a healthy eating day.

Because I wouldn’t ask for help.

[melancholiabunny]

emotional torture

[ace-la]

Learning my lessons

Just learning my lessons, not much that I can say and not much that I can do. but just learning my lessons. It doesn't matter whose for me, doesn't matter who's against me. it doesn't matter who can see me, it doesn't matter who's ignoring me. I just learning my lessons. I'm not asking to be entertained I'm not looking for anything fame. My time and patience might be fleeing, but my focus, peace of mind, diligence, wisdom and knowledge is so soaring. So I continue to learn my lessons. I pray for more than just myself, well-being and health. I pray for love, peace, prosperity, and community. the things that matter most. Hoping that this things are felt. I'm still learning my lessons. Everyday I live is a blessing. Trying to stay positive and invest in the soul within myself. Because it's always crying out for help. So I continue to learn my lessons.

[mingalingsings]

Adulting

1) Adult lesson #592: it turns out it’s important to change your DMV address after you move. Who woulda thunk? Yeah, I know, I think I’ve been running from the law for the past year because apparently that’s not totally legal. Also, I accidentally sent my driver’s license renewal to my old California address, and now I’d have to fly back to get a replacement. #harsh

Luckily (hopefully), MA has my back and I can get an in-state ID. It’s hilarious there’s a specific Massachusetts Liquor ID - the government knows why we get these things.

2) Adult lesson #849: if you don’t get mail for 2 weeks, it’s probably not because the world decided to go easy on you with bills. It’s probably because you forgot you had mail-forwarding on and it expired.

3) Adult lesson #2348: Soft-boiled eggs are delicious and should replace hard-boiled eggs in every recipe.

4) Adult lesson #384: So, uh, I guess I have to file taxes next year. Fuck. After that, I only have to hit the marriage/mortgage/kids milestones to be a fully certified Adult™. I’m excited and terrified.

[thewildworldofablackbird-blog]

Feeling a bit like a failure as I prepare to head back home. I tried so hard to make it work but I can’t afford it, I’ve injured myself (physically) and I’m not coping without my friends and family. I love this place I really do, but it’s not my time to be here. But as I prepare to go, I’m worried about what people think, but then again I don’t care, because, as my mum said as I sobbed to her on the phone last night ‘people that matter don’t care, they just love us anyway’ I think if I had have come at a different time things may have been different. But they’re not, so I gotta face the music. I guess I’m not a failure, I’ve just learnt quickly that I need to be with my people, and not poor and injured on the other side of the country.

[whatlexlearnedtoday-blog]

Just Do It

Today was one of those Sundays where I knew I had a THOUSAND things to do, but I never actually expected to get all of them done.  Well lo and behold, I did it!  I hustled like a maniac today and got everything done and it felt great!

After running a few errands, I came home and decided to attempt to make these Brown Butter Banana Muffins I've been hearing so much about from Iowa Girl Eats lately. 

Halfway through making these, I decided to make a couple modifications to the recipe to make them a bit healthier (although they're already pretty healthy to begin with):

1) I left out the egg, so now these are vegan too!

2) I added the rest of my Boku Protein powder packet to give these muffins some serious protein power!  *Boku powder is an awesome protein alternative to soy and whey powders.

Let me just say, these are some of the healthiest, and yummiest muffins I've ever made in my LIFE.  So good.  Let me say that again - SO GOOD!

After inhaling two of these babies and getting some more work done, I made a kickass Sunday Runday playlist and bolted out the door to get some endorphins flowing.  Sunday, right before the sun goes down is my favorite time of the week to run.  It's beautiful and calming, and just a great way to end the weekend. 

Anyway, this weeks Sunday Runday playlist is below:

I arranged the songs so that the music starts out with a BANG and then slowly eases down to a lighter - but still upbeat - pace for your run.

I ran about 5 miles tonight and still didn't feel like it was enough.  Sometimes my stress and worries can physically manifest in my body, and the only way I can deal with it is to run them out.  Does that happen to you guys too?

Regardless, when I got home, I took a chance on a dinner I created in my mind today.  Like I said, I dreamed it up in my head earlier, but I had NO idea if it would taste as good as I imagined.  Wellllll guess what people?  I just created something that is not only healthy as hell, but also just plains AMAZEBALLS.

I shall call this: Sexy Stir Fry (because it's lean and mean and sexy)

Recipe:

Handful of whole wheat pasta

5 asparagus spears

Handful of edamame

1/3 block of pressed firm tofu

Soy sauce

Agave nectar

Olive oil

Salt

1. Cut your pressed tofu into 5 or 6 slices, and lightly coat them in a mixture of equal parts olive oil and soy sauce. 

2. Drizzle tofu pieces with agave nectar.

3. Bake tofu strips in oven at 350 degrees, 10 minutes on each side.

4. Cook pasta.

5. Coat pan with olive oil and toss in asparagus and edamame to saute. 

6. When pasta is done cooking, add to pan with asparagus and edamame.

7. Add 1 tbsp of soy sauce to pan and again drizzle agave nectar over pan to desired sweetness.

8. Once the contents of the pan are properly mixed, transfer mixture to a bowl. 

9. Take finished tofu strips out of oven and add them to the pasta mixture.

10. Sprinkle a dash of salt on top and Voila!

I seriously could have been the face of Nike today.  I got into go mode and was a task completing machine.  Sometimes you just gotta DO IT!