Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)
Sampo x Gepard
A/N: I was hesitating between different scenarios for this fic and asking my friends' opinions did not help! Since they chose two different scenarios and I still couldn't choose, I ended up combining them. Thanks @lovelynim for the help and honkai expertise✌️
Summary: Gepard unknowingly gets caught in a mysterious dream bubble, with Sampo and himself in the starring role. (Also on AO3)
Word Count: 3.1K
This was not okay. This was insane. Nuts. He was going to ー ! Gepard wasn't sure what he wasn't going to do.
Bury Lynx in the snow, that was for sure. Or like, forbid her from ever going into the snow again, perhaps that was better.
He was out of breath as he made his way to the Snow Plains together with Caelus.
It was officially Gepard's day off. His hell of a day off duty, which he was now spending in cold and stress.
The captain of the Silvermane Guards was about to take a hot bubble bath and had just taken off his clothes when he received a message from the Trailblazer, reporting to him in short little bits of text. Just before entering his bath, he decided to read it.
Ran into Pela just now.
..............
Gepard didn't think much of it while the Trailblazer continued typing.
She said Lynx thinks she tracked the Belobog Caveman.
Okay...?
Followed him and knows where he lives.
His eyes widened. What.
She left to find his base.
What!
Yesterday.
WHAT!!!
Pela thought she was joking and stayed at the museum.
......
But now she can't find Lynx, and she isn't answering her calls and messages.
............???
Pela knows she must've gone to the Snow Plains, that is all.
.................!!!!!!
Thought you might want to know.
Why was Caelus like this. He could've mentioned from the get-go that Lynx was literally missing. Instead he dryly summed it up like this, working on Gepard's nerves.
Gepard could've literally been on his way already instead of dealing with the slow reporting. Okay, he was exaggerating, but still.
"You could've told me in a more convenient way," Gepard complained when they finally made their way into the cold.
"You're welcome," Caelus replied. Caelus had offered to summon Dan Heng, March 7th, Welt Yang and Himeko to help them look, but as kind as the gesture was, Gepard turned the offer down.
It couldn't be that drastic. Right? He didn't want to waste their time. He didn't even tell Serval, since he didn't know how serious it was yet. Maybe Lynx had simply dropped her phone or she lost track of time and didn't have connection, or she was so caught up in her adventure that she forgot to check her phone, or something...
Besides, Serval would've either told Gepard to calm the hell down - Lynx went to the Snow Plains all the time, nothing was happening - or she would've freaked out as well. Both cases weren't ideal.
No matter what was going on, Gepard insisted that no monsters were involved or anything dangerous for that matter, but he was surely going to make clear to Lynx how displeased he was to be lured into the icy cold while he could've been relaxing in his hot bath right now.
"It must've been in this direction," Caelus said. They didn't bring Pela, but before departing, Caelus had made sure that Pela shared everything she knew from before Lynx went missing. Her exact talks about this mysterious caveman, her text messages with the random invitation to join her on her quest, and apparently there had already been some past lore as well concerning the caveman.
"So, anything else I should know about this Belobog Caveman? Do you know more?" Gepard asked. "Does it have an identity?"
To this, a knowing smile tugged at the Trailblazer's lips. "Well about thatー"
Before he could answer, they heard a little cry for help. "Heeeeeeyy!" Gepard's eyes widened. They were still heading in the direction from Pela's predictions, but when they heard the familiar voice from another direction they immediately turned.
"LYNX!" Gepard yelled. Caelus helped him out.
"We're heeeere!" he yelled. The voice didn't seem to move, but Lynx called out again: "Heeelp! I'm heeeere!"
Caelus rushed forward first. "Sounds like she's stuck!' They rushed through the snow.
"Lynx! Where are you?" They were drawn closer towards a snowy mountain.
"Over heeere!" She sounded closer. When they found her at last, they sighed in relief. Lynx was trapped in a.... cage? The cage stood outside a cave entrance. It looked like a simple cage, but good enough to trap her.
"Free Lynx. I'll go check inside." Caelus fearlessly entered the cave as if Lynx's caveman-captor wouldn't be resting in there while it was waiting to devour its caged prey.
"I swearー" Gepard huffed, but he could barely speak more. With a swift movement he broke the cage open and he pulled Lynx out. He immediately checked if she was hurt.
"Are you alright?" he asked. Lynx nodded dryly and smiled.
"I'm fine. It was just a little cold." She stepped forward, bent down and wiped some snow aside. She picked up her phone from there, where it appeared to have fallen.
"What happened?" Gepard asked. Lynx glanced at the cage, then at the cave.
"Well, I saw the Belobog Caveman not long ago. I thought I was sure he headed in this direction. So I decided to check this area. There's the cave," she said, pointing to where Caelus had gone in.
"But before I could go in, I ended up in this cage. No one put me here, it was a trap. Security, I guess."
Gepard sighed in relief. He wondered what had been inside the cage for her to naively enter it and get trapped, but he decided not to ask. "Never seek out this caveman again, do you understand?"
Lynx watched him with her innocent eyes. "But..."
Gepard didn't let her finish and simply hugged her. "I'm just glad you're alright. Good thing we found you." He didn't want to think about her freezing here while he had been bathing without a clue. Thank you Pela, thank you Caelus. Speaking of Caelus...
"Is the caveman inside?" Gepard asked. Lynx just opened her mouth when Caelus came out again. He had a weird look on his face.
"Caelus! Is there anything in there?" he asked as Caelus walked past them with stiff movements.
"No. Don't go in there."
"Huh?"
"It's empty."
Gepard couldn't figure out the strange look on his face. Caelus had such a weird expression. As if he was in a trance. His cheeks were also slightly colored, maybe because of the cold. He also didn't look Gepard in the eye.
Before he could worry further, Lynx shuddered and sneezed.
"Can I ask you to take her to Serval? Explain what happens so she gets a proper scolding."
Lynx gasped. Caelus merely responded with a nod. "Sure."
Gepard tried to make eye contact but didn't succeed. "....I'll stay behind and clean up this cage."
"Sure."
He watched how Caelus walked off and Lynx followed him. Perhaps Caelus had just gotten a little stiff in the cold, that was all. Well, he would be back home and warm soon again.
After watching them leave, making sure Lynx was following Caelus obediently, Gepard turned around and stared at the cave.
His curiosity wasn't to blame. Anyone would check the cave, just to be sure. Caelus may have checked it and said nothing was there but, Gepard needed to check it still. For security. He walked towards it and entered. Wow. He looked around. For starters, it wasn't nothing.
He already thought it had been weird for Caelus to say there was nothing here. Why would a trap be right outside if there was nothing in the cave itself? This definitely was something.
It looked like some kind of hideout. With chests and barrels, and boxes with things in them. He noted one thing in particular.
"Huh?"
One box was packed with pieces of paper. Specific ones. He took out one of them and noticed it was Sampo's wanted poster. Why would anyone...? He entered the cave further. More storage. This person had a lot of items to hide and.... Oh. His eyes fell on something remarkable.
It was blue and shimmering. It was also floating. "What is this?" the curious captain murmured to himself. He walked closer to it, admiring the strange substance. A wise voice in his head tried to warn him not to touch weird foreign things in mysterious caveman-caves, but it was already too late.
Before he could stop himself or change his mind, the bubble already surrounded him and pulled him right in, and for a fleeting second Gepard thought he was going to die.
Instead it felt as if he was floating just like the strange bubble, and his surroundings changed. The cave was replaced by what looked like... something that resembled an abandoned house, in uhh, where was this? It seemed like the Underworld?
"Hello...?" Gepard began to walk forward, and he froze when he heard a muffled voice.
"HHHfmph!" His eyes widened and the male voice pulled him closer into one of the rooms. There on a bed, no way... this was insane.... Gepard backed away and grabbed the door frame in shock to make sure he wouldn't fall over in surprise.
Trapped on a bed… was no one but Gepard himself. He was tied up, both his hands tied together with rope and attached to the frame above his head. Blindfold covering his eyes, gagged.... His feet were tied to the bed too, with the same sort of rope securing his ankles together, stretching him out. He wasn't naked but.... He wasn't very warmly clothed either in merely a short-sleeved T-shirt, shorts and socks.
What in the actual fuck was this. A nightmare? Gepard was just bending over his own bound body, hesitating whether it was appropriate to untie and free him from his misery, when suddenly loud footsteps could be heard.
"HHHMPH!" The trapped Gepard continued to make noises, and the footsteps quickly came closer.
"Geppie, oh no!"
Gepard watched in shock at the person who just arrived. Sampo Koski?! Sampo barged into the room and sat by the bed. He immediately pulled the blindfold from Gepard's eyes and removed the gag.
"Sampo!" he gasped. Both Sampo and caught-Geppie didn't seem to notice that the real Gepard was here, watching them. It was as if he was watching some sort of illusion or dream. But it was a weird dream.
"I told you didn't I? Yet you got yourself in danger and you were caught. Such a stubborn captain you are," Sampo said. Gepard stepped back. He was still confused about what he was witnessing and felt like he should walk away, but he couldn't. He kept his eyes fixated on the weird display and wouldn't budge.
"They should still be nearby, goー" Gepard tried, but Sampo hushed him.
"I took care of them. No worries."
Meanwhile the real Gepard snorted at this very bad theater he was seeing. "Oh my hero Sampo," he said sarcastically. The lack of response coming from Sampo and dream-Gepard confirmed to him they couldn't hear or see him at all. It was as if he wasn't here.
"Alright, good. Untie me." Gepard struggled against his ropes, and Sampo stepped back, watching him.
"What about please?"
Gepard reacted the way Gepard would actually react. He glared at Sampo and scoffed.
"What? No. Untie me, Koski."
Sampo chuckled. "My my, such an attitude for someone who needs my help. I thought your manners were better than that." He reached out and poked Gepard's exposed tummy with a wiggling finger. Gepard let out a humiliating squeak, and the real Gepard felt the embarrassment when he heard the sound of that. Oh no....
Sampo smirked. "What was that?"
"Nothing! Untie me, now!" Gepard hissed, but Sampo poked him again. Gepard responded with a loud embarrassing giggle.
"Was that a giggle?"
Gepard shook his head. "No!"
"Hmhm. So you aren't... ticklish, by any chance?"
"No! Untie me!"
Sampo did not untie him. Instead he raised both hands and wiggled his fingers teasingly.
"Oh I see. Well, if you're not ticklish then might as well..." He bent down and reached for both Gepard's sides, his hands squeezing and clawing.
The real Gepard thought he felt a tingle. Dream-Gepard responded with a loud squeak-cackle.
"AAAHAH! Dohohon't!"
Sampo hummed, sounding amazed. "Hmmmmm Geppie. Such a sweet noise you make, for someone who isn't ticklish."
His fingers continued prodding. "Nohoho! Don't- ahahaack!"
Gepard cringed at the sight and sound of this. Worst thing was that he probably would react exactly this way. How was this so accurate?
"Ickly tickly Geppie. To me it does look like you're a little ticklish. Don't tell me, you lied to me?"
Sampo was evil, but Gepard seemed stubborn enough to keep on resisting. "Nahahaha! Go to hehehell!"
A low, evil chuckle could be heard. "Manners, Geppie," he sang, and for the next minutes, Gepard could only hear his own hysterical voice. His eyes widened as he saw how Sampo tore him apart with ease. His fingers worked skilfully on Gepard's vulnerable armpits, his ribs and sides, even the bare skin of his tummy right underneath his shirt, and his poor horribly ticklish feet.
He blushed like hell. This.... This was so weird.
"Sahahahampo! I'll gehehet you- whehen I gehet out ohohof thihihis!" Poor ticklish Gepard cackled.
Sampo laughed playfully. "What was that? When you get out of this? You mean if you get out of this. After everything, you're still being mean to me. Oh captain, my captain. It makes me want to keep you here and tickle you forever."
It was the cringiest villain-like thing to say, but Gepard felt himself getting all flustered. The dream-version of himself was still suffering from the relentless attack.
"Nohohoho! Ahahaha you cahahan't dohoho thihihis!"
Sampo didn't even let him catch his breath. He tickled him so much that the real Gepard started to take deep breaths, wondering if this was maybe affecting him physically or if it was all in his head.
He couldn't handle it. No more. His own laughter chased him as he tried to leave the house, but there was nothing. He couldn't go anywhere, it was just... plain. As if the house was all that was left in existence.
"What the hell!" Gepard whined. Doomed. Doomed to witness this humiliating display and hear his own laughter. He recalled the look on Caelus' face. No... What if he saw too?
"Aaaaaaaa!" Gepard wailed like an idiot, his own voice mixing hilariously with the Gepard who was still getting tickled mercilessly by Sampo fucking Koski.
"Sahaha-Sampo- ahahalright! Plehehease!"
Gepard cringed. His alternate self was begging. Literally begging for the tickling to stop. He couldn't imagine ever reducing himself to such a thing, but he also couldn't imagine getting tickled like that non-stop without being able to move.
"Please what, Geppie?"
"S-stohohop! I'll do ahahanything!"
"Anything...?"
The laughter died down and only tired giggles could be heard. Gepard made the mistake to look over his shoulder at the bed where Sampo slowed down his tickle attack. He leaned closer, and... Gepard's eyes widened, and his dream-self gasped.
They.... They were.... Gepard covered his face, but it was too late. He saw it. The fucking kiss.
Still tied up and tickled to death, Gepard seemed too exhausted to bite Koski's lip or tongue - at least, that's what the real Gepard hoped was the reason for not resisting much.
The kiss lasted way longer than Gepard initially thought - no never mind, he didn't think anything about this ridiculous kiss that made his face burn even when he was merely the spectator.
"Why don't we take this to the next level hm?" Sampo purred as he slowly moved his hands underneath Gepard's shirt again, slowly pushing it up. His fingers must've moved in a specific way because Gepard giggled and squirmed.
"N-noho!" he laughed weakly. The real Gepard groaned and wanted to run again, but this time it actually happened. All of a sudden it was as if he being... pulled out?
Before he realized, he was no longer in the room where Sampo and Gepard were about to do things that were worse than the tickle stuff he had to witness.
"Enjoyed yourself?"
Gepard blinked. The real Sampo was looking at him with a smug smirk. He was back in the cave, and... Blushing like crazy, Gepard stared at him as if he was still an illusion.
"That's a dream bubble, from Penacony. You may have heard about them from the Trailblazers."
Gepard did in fact not hear about them, but he didn't care. "What are you doing here?" He tried to stay calm.
Sampo shrugged. "Overheard that a girl got caught in my cage. That won't do. I'll have to set up a new trap. You know, monsters and all. Wouldn't want them to enter my domain."
His domain? Gepard sighed. "You're the caveman?"
Sampo cocked his head in confusion. "Pardon?"
"Never mind. What the- what is..." Gepard would've liked to ask about the 'dream' but he couldn't. Was this Sampo's fantasy? Did he like, create it? How was the dream going to end? Did Sampo always want to kiss him or-?
"I'm going home. Clean up here or I'll confiscate all your items when I'm back on duty."
"Why? It's my cave. But you can have the dream, if you'd like."
Gepard ignored him and with his cheeks and body on fire quickly rushed back into the cold of the Snowy Plains. What a relief to cool down again. Sampo always drove him crazy every single time they met, but after today... he was afraid it was never going to be the same ever again.
Epilogue
Gepard stared at Caelus' face. They were having a meal together, with Lynx, Pela and Serval, to thank Caelus for his help.
All this time, Caelus still wouldn't look him in the eye, and Gepard feared it. The damn Trailblazer had seen the dream. He wasn't certain how much of it he saw, but he was sure of it.
"Hey. Are we cool?" Gepard asked awkwardly after dinner when Caelus was about to leave.
"Hm? Yes, of course." At last, Caelus looked at him now that he had no choice, but Gepard could sense the awkwardness. Damn.
"Look, whatever you saw in that cave, eh..."
"Me? I saw nothing." Yeah sure, that answer was way too instant.
"Please forget about it."
Caelus stared at him for a while, probably realizing that Gepard saw the dream bubble too. This was awkward for everyone involved. He nodded.
"I'll try not to think about it too much."
The flustered captain of the Silvermane Guards cleared his throat. "Good. Well then. Thanks again for today." And with that, he sent the Trailblazer off.
Besides Gepard's dignity and ability to deal with Sampo without disturbing inappropriate thoughts invading his mind, the cursed caveman also ruined his relationship with Caelus. Damn you, Sampo Koski!!!!!
