Well hello there!
I'm not sure if you're okay with requests, if not, no problem!
I've just been looking for some tickles for Zeus, seems like no one wrote anything with him yet.
Maybe he was being an annoying little shit and his brothers decided to teach him a little lesson?
Have a great day! 😊
HI FRIEND! I'm so sorry it took so long to answer, college has been kicking my ass 😭. Hope you like it!
Upholding Justice
Lee!Zeus
Ler! Poseidon and Ler!Hades
-------
Cracka-BOOM!
Poseidon jumps at the sudden sound of thunder. He sharply turns to the window of his throne room, cursing under his breath. His brother seemingly was having yet another temper tantrum, judging from the shower of lightning bolts that fell from the sky above. Normally, the strikes were erratic and all in random directions, but all of these seemed to be aimed at a certain place. Poseidon’s curiosity got the better of him, and he followed the strikes to see who had dared offend the god king so gravely.
You can imagine his surprise when he was led to the city of Athens. The city was named after Athena, their patron goddess, and Zeus’s favored child. Any time the people of Athens had dared to misstep, Athena had been able to talk Zeus down and save her city. But it seemed Zeus had reached his limit with his patience, even with Athena.
Poseidon walked through the city, following the trail of smoke and smell of brimstone. As he walked, the residual feel of static electricity in the air grew stronger. The streets weren’t too familiar to him. Despite the city being coastal, he had made a point of avoiding it whenever possible after losing the city to his niece.
Speaking of their little competition, the trails were leading him to a more familiar location. After the competition, Poseidon hadn’t exactly taken the defeat with grace. To appease the god, the people of Athens devoted half of one of their most sacred temples, the Erechtheion, to Poseidon. The few times he visited the city, he would always head to the temple. He knew the way by heart. And he did not like the fact that the smoke was replicating that path.
Upon arriving at the temple, he froze in shock. Every single one of his statues, inside the temple and outside, had their heads blasted off, while the side dedicated to Athena was left untouched. Poseidon could sense the godly magic that enveloped the temple, and knew that this wasn’t a misfired attack, Zeus had done this on purpose. The real question was why.
…
Hades woke up early, like usual. He was a busy god, and running the Underworld was no small task. Plus, Persephone was going to return in a week, and he wanted to complete as much as possible early so he could spend more time with her. He smiled, already excited to see his beautiful wife again. It had been lonely down in the Underworld without her there. His brothers had questioned him one day, when they came to visit and saw him sulking. Hades had vented about missing Persephone, and wishing that for once, there would be a slow day so he could take the time to visit her. But alas, Death never stops, and neither does Hades’s work. He had actually taken a step back in pure astonishment when Zeus had presented his idea of a solution: “Just find another one! I'm sure there are many girls who would be jumping at the chance to be with the king of the Underworld! You can just get rid of her before Persephone comes home. She’ll never have to know!” He was even more appalled when Poseidon actually agreed. “It’s not a big deal. We do it all the time.”
Hades had to take a minute to recompose himself, and stop himself from bashing their heads together. Refusing to entertain their horrible idea, he immediately expelled them both from his realm. How could he cheat on Persephone? He never really understood men who cheat on their wives. He especially never understood his brothers, who both have wives who are devoted to them, regardless of their many faults. Hera and Amphitrite had come to the Underworld many times each, to escape drama and gossip with Persephone. Hades had always welcomed them warmly and made sure that they both knew his palace was a place they could go to if they needed a break.
Wait, what was he doing again? Focus, dammit! Hades mentally slapped himself for getting distracted. No time to waste, Persephone would be home soon! Returning to the masses of scrolls before him, he picked up one that was… sizzling? He opened it to find a penis burned into the parchment. Judging from the shock he got when he picked it up, this was a poor excuse of a prank by his immature brother. He set down the ruined scroll and picked up another one, only to be greeted by the same thing. It didn't take him long to realize every scroll in the stack had been burned in the same way.
That’s it! Hades thought as he slammed his hands on his desk. I’ve let him act like this for too long. He turned and left his office, heading to Olympus.
…
The brothers arrived on Olympus at the same time. As Poseidon was storming into Zeus’s palace he quite literally ran into Hades. Both stared at each other in surprise, not expecting the presence of the other.
Hades was the first to speak. “Hello, brother. I was not expecting to see you here.”
Poseidon responded in kind. “Neither was I. You rarely travel to Olympus, what brings you here?”
Hades huffed a breath and crossed his arms. He was rarely one to be irritated, but his annoyance was clearly spelled out on his face. “Zeus decided to pull a very immature prank and burned dozens of my scrolls. The backlog of work will take forever to clear up, as each scroll needs to be transcribed onto new parchment. And right when Persephone was about to come home! That being said, you seldom come here too. What is your reason?”
Poseidon, who was more commonly one to be irritated, was wearing his signature scowl. “Zeus destroyed several of my statues at the Erechtheion.”
Hades nodded in understanding. Had it been any other god who destroyed the statues, it could have been considered a declaration of war. But this was Zeus. Both their king, and their brother. Not only could they not fight him, they knew that he had an affinity for pulling pranks and practical jokes, just like when they were younger.
Of course, when they were younger, it was easier to get him back. However, both of them were above pranks in revenge. Getting angry wouldn’t solve anything either, even if punching him in the face would be really satisfying. Suddenly, Hades had an epiphany. That, he thought, might just work.
“Poseidon, you remember that one time when Zeus filled your palace with glitter?”
“Yes, it took me over a month to clean all of it up, and I’m still finding glitter everywhere! What about it?” He snarled.
“You remember how we dealt with him afterward?” Hades asked with a smile.
Poseidon shot him a confused look, before the memory dawned on him, and soon he was sharing the same grin.
…
Zeus turned to the door at the unexpected knocking. He wasn't expecting visitors today. After a moment's hesitation he opened the door, face brightening with a wide smile when he saw his brothers standing there.
“Ah, hello! Come in!” He exclaimed, causing Hades to flinch slightly at the volume. He had forgotten how loud his brother could be.
Zeus's chambers were opulent, as expected, with enough gold and white marble to blind someone. The walls were adorned with trophies and tapestries depicting various battles and conquests, with Zeus always being the central figure. The room itself was massive, nearly the size of a large mortal temple. Statues, again, of Zeus, were scattered about, as well as an ornate hearth that took up an entire wall. The hearth was surrounded by shelves and baskets, half full with food, jewelry, and other objects, almost certainly sacrifices from worshippers. Two cloud servants were attending to the sacrifices, organizing them and putting them away. Zeus dismissed them with a wave of his hand. They bowed and quickly left the room, but not before setting up a table and three chairs, which closely resembled thrones, as well as three goblets of the finest wine. The brothers all sat down, and Zeus leaned back in his seat with his arms folded behind his head.
“So what brings you both here on this fine evening?” Zeus asks, bearing a smug, shit-eating grin that makes Poseidon want to slap him.
“You know exactly why we're here, Zeus. I'd like to inquire about something. WHAT ON GAIA'S GREEN EARTH POSSESSED YOU TO BLOW UP MY STATUES?!” He stood up sharply and slammed his fist on the table, breaking it. Hades flinched again, wishing he was back in the Underworld without his wife instead of (once again) dealing with family drama.
Zeus casually repaired the crack with another wave of his hand. “Oh, that? I was doing you a favor! They were old and crumbling. You should have the mortals make you some new ones.” He acted as though it was nothing, but of the three, Zeus has the worst poker face, a grin exposing his poorly hidden amusement.
“Considering the conclusions that you can jump to, I can see how you would think you were helping there. However, I challenge you to come up with a good excuse for why you burned dozens of my scrolls.” Hades interjects, placing a hand on Poseidon's shoulder to coax him back down. He leaned forward with his hands folded in front of him, resting his chin on them so he could look Zeus in the eye. “Go on. How were you helping there?”
Zeus was beginning to sweat. He never expected Hades of all people to confront him like this. It was just a silly prank! Why was he so worked up? “They were just a few scrolls! Surely it’s not that serious.”
“Au contraire Zeus. Those scrolls that you ruined were records of entire mortal lives. It takes roughly a year to transcribe a single scroll. You destroyed 600 scrolls!” Now it was Hades’s turn to start yelling. Despite his previously calm demeanor, he had been furious at his brother for all of the work he and his assistants would now have to redo.
Now Zeus was somewhat scared. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw Hades even mildly upset, much less as enraged as he was now. In hindsight, he had been aware that Persephone was due to return to the Underworld soon, and maybe he should have come up with a different prank. I’ll see if I can talk him down a bit.
“Hades, I’ll admit that perhaps I went a bit overboard, but it’s not like you have to transcribe those scrolls. That’s what you have servants for!” Zeus, the bastard, tried to weasel his way out of any consequence that could come from his ill-thought-out idea.
“Unlike you, I take my job as leader seriously. So yes, I will be transcribing some of those scrolls. And even if I didn’t, I’d still have to examine each and every one before it was stored away. You may be the God King, but you have the temperament of a mortal child, and you conduct yourself as such. Poseidon and I discussed this briefly before we came here, and we decided that a punishment was in order.” Hades smiled. “You remember what happened when you filled Poseidon’s palace with glitter, right?”
The gears in Zeus’s brain were visibly turning, and Poseidon could pinpoint the exact moment the realization dawned on his brother. In his opinion, there were few better sights than seeing Zeus get flustered.
“Now, there’s no reason to act rashly! Let’s all just move on and let this be water under the bridge!” He stood up and began to back away from the table.
Poseidon also stood up, still grinning, and walked slowly toward him. “But aren’t you the one always saying that people should face the consequences of their actions?”
Zeus continued to back away from his brother, until he felt his back hit something. He turned around to see Hades smiling down at him. Zeus didn’t even notice that Hades wasn't at the table anymore! Hades reached down and grabbed both of Zeus’s arms with one hand and held them above his head. “Don’t act so surprised, little brother, you’ve had this coming for a long time.”
Zeus made his best effort at what was supposed to be an intimidating glare, but it is hard to be intimidating when you have a wobbly smile on your face. “If you even tHI-!”
There was an awkward pause as all three registered what had happened. Later, if you asked Zeus if it was true that he had squeaked like a child he would vehemently deny it, if he hadn't already fried you for your insolence. If you asked his brothers, they would be more than happy to describe to you how Zeus made a sound akin to that of a startled dog combined with a scream. You see, Zeus had the misfortune of being the youngest brother, with an absolute menace of an older brother. When they were younger, and more carefree, Zeus and Poseidon would often find themselves in play fights, which would often end up in a tickle fight when the inevitable happened and one of the two would fight dirty. At first, Zeus was usually the victor. That all changed the day that Poseidon learned that if you tase Zeus's sides, he squeaks, which he is incredibly embarrassed by. Then, it is surprisingly easy to take him down, as long as you're armed with plenty of teases (mostly about how cute he sounds).
Poseidon grinned maliciously, and dug in. Deep rumbling giggles speckled with those high-pitched squeaks forced their way past Zeus's lips as his brother gleefully raked his nails over his sides and ribs. “It has been way too long since we heard your adorable laughter dear brother!” Poseidon smugly quipped. An opportunity to give Zeus some payback isn't a common occurrence, and he wanted to take full advantage and get his money's worth while he could.
“Youho bahahstard! You wihihill pahay for thihis!” Zeus should probably give up on trying to be intimidating at this point. His flushed face negated any weight his words held.
“I'll believe it when I see it. You are in no position to be making any threats.” Poseidon responded. He was definitely high on power right now.
Meanwhile, Hades had snuck his other hand to Zeus's neck, and was gently fluttering his fingers there. Every time Zeus tried to move his head to block the offending fingers, Hades would switch to the other side, rinse and repeat. Was it a little mean? Yes. Was it deserved? Absolutely.
Distant thunder could be heard outside. Both Poseidon and Hades quirked an eyebrow at that. Not in confusion, just in surprised satisfaction. “Losing control already? And here I thought you could handle this better.” Poseidon taunted. “The King of the Gods, the strongest Olympian, defeated by a few tickles. Imagine if the others saw this!”
That was the final straw for Zeus. With a frustrated shout, he pulls free from his brother's grasp, shoving at Poseidon. Poseidon, the asshole, just grins at Zeus's angry and embarrassed expression, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “Fine, fine, we won't tell anyone.”
They might not talk… but Hermes who was peeking through the door absolutely will.
