So a few years ago, my husband and I were looking up how to care for his hair and that's how we discovered he has Jewish hair. Every source on how to care for it was a Jewish website. He hasn't taken a genetics test and he was raised Southern Baptist. Is it ok for him to call himself Jewish? It's something he considers a matter of personal pride to be a Jew. Would it also be insensitive to research cultural things in an effort to celebrate them? It's something we wanted to ask before just doing.
Same person with the husband with Jewish hair. Would it be insensitive to learn Hebrew and Yiddish? Neither of us know what's closed to non religious practicing people and we want to be respectful before we just dive into things. Like what cultural aspects are a hard no to outsiders like myself? To him who is non religious but likely racially Jewish? I figure foods are good but doing things like celebrating Channukah are a no go since that's a religious specific thing.
Would it be disrespectful for a gentile to go to/attend synagogue in the spirit of learning? After Covid when everything is safe, naturally. Or would it be best to stay out of those spaces? I've always wanted to go to see and experience for myself but never if it was considered rude or worse.
Mod here. While this ask is posted anonymously, I’ve spoken with the anon. They are coming at this with a desire to respect Jewish people and community. Their partner’s family was almost certainly impacted by the Holocaust, with a break from Judaism seeming to have occurred. As many of you know all too well, deciphering family history marred by genocide is difficult. I would ask that we all keep this in mind; please be gentle chaverim. Anon and their partner are navigating something complicated, and have come to us thinking and asking, not doing.
There are several embedded questions/statements I can see people perhaps wanting to address. As a reminder, if you don’t have the energy you don’t have to respond to any, let alone all of an ask. I thought I’d start breaking this ask down into what chunks I could recognize:
Is there such a thing as ‘Jewish hair’? If yes, how do we approach the fact that not all (or, arguably, most) Jewish people have these features? If not, how can people celebrate features that have been historically denigrated as part of antisemitism and/or are uncommon in the broader, non-Jewish community?
Can ancestral Jewish connections make someone Jewish without further action? If so, what connections? If not, with what action(s) can they become Jewish and/or be recognized as such? (please include communal FOR!)
Where can people who are partially or largely ethnically Jewish (zera Yisrael), but who aren’t recognized as Jewish or religiously Jewish find community? connect with their heritage or family history? are there options for those who don’t wish to go through the channels that would yield them recognition? what about their loved ones?
How can interfaith couples navigate finding out that one member of the couple is ethnically Jewish and/or recognized as Jewish by the broader Jewish community? (please include FOR)
Remember, please be gentle chaverim.
Much thanks! (Todah rabah!) !תּוֹדָה רַבָּה
