Anon Advice asks - April 25
@teasiswriter, 14 anon, legs anon (new), pg anon, midnights anon, deadname anon (new), willpower anon
@teasiswriter
Hello! (This is a long one! It’s mostly about my hyper fixation. I got carried away with historical accuracy so 60% of it is about Sappho, sorry 😅)
How have you been?
Also I have a quick question, what should I do when I’m not feeling well? Emotionally I mean. Sometimes I just feel super empty and guilty (like after resting or doing nothing) and I cognitively try not to bully myself (I remember how exhausted I was, how tiring things are, and how I shouldn’t bully myself for existing) but sometimes the fog won’t lift, and I just feel kind of muddled
I’m gonna try and do some stuff that makes it feel better (painting, tea, daydreaming, etc.) but sometimes that doesn’t work
Also, I went outside yesterday which I feel like is an accomplishment! I went to the library, sat down, and read for an hour. I think I’m gonna do that more often (also my library has a job opening that I can apply for which rocks). Next time I’m gonna bring my books about my book I’m writing (Sappho (3 different books with different translations), and another about Monet (that’s for a different book).
Hi!
I mean I think you have all the right ideas- don't bully yourself, do soothing things...could you do something to try to sort through your feelings? Writing often helps me when I'm in a foggy state like that. And by writing, I don't mean anything that gets published on ao3, I mean just writing for myself.
And yes, you're welcome to send me a link!
As far as your other ask...
You aren't incorrect or fucked or wrong, but I understand (not all, but) a lot of what you're feeling-- feeling different and like you don't fit in and like you can't do things right, and being jealous of people who seem to do life so effortlessly. Do you have any adult you can go to, to ask for help? You don't deserve to feel like this. You deserve to be happy and feel loved, you know?
You're welcome to come vent to me anytime, as well <3 I know things feel awful and overwhelming and hopeless now, but please know that college and the real world are so different than school. school sucks, a thousand percent, but it DOES get better, I promise <3
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14 anon
Hey Cas it’s 14 anon
I really want to tell my mum I’m part of this fandom because it’s one of the only things keeping me from feeling like a robot.
The thing is, if I tell her about the fandom I have to tell her about the ships and the fanfiction. I’m like a diehard jegulus shipper, and my mum isn’t the most lgbt+ friendly person. She supports it but has some strong opinions and I don’t know what she’d say - especially because I can’t remember all of the things she’s said about lgbt+ people.
I’m struggling to keep fandom related things to myself because of how much it means to me and I only have one friend I talk to about it and she’s always grounded and when she’s not (like 2 weeks a year) she has very minimal screen time. Also summer holidays are soon and I won’t see her for 6 weeks and I’m sad about that bc she’s my realest friend and I love her so much.
Hi!
I mean, could you like...hint at it first, and see how she reacts? Like mention the Harry Potter fandom in general, or reading fanfic in general, and see what she says? That way you're not like...completely throwing the whole thing out there and risking a negative reaction, but you're also gauging to see if she might take it positively?
I'm sorry your friend is always grounded </3
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legs anon
Is it legal to punch your sister after we were doing this thing where she held onto my legs ands I moved them forward and she fell back then we did it vice versa but it didn’t work so we did it the first way and it worked so we tried it vice versa again but it didn’t work so I say that the problem was he large legs she gets upset I keep saying “I was just pointing out what was wrong” then she says “oh so you’re saying my legs are wrong” and I’m like stop twisting my words and also she gave me rope burn on my thighs(I’m very easy to injure) but I don’t see what I did wrong here. I do not understand why she took it in that way, I regulus and Narcissa kinned too close to the sun and drowned(Regukus core)
I'm gonna be so fr, I only followed about half of this....but I mean...nobody should be punching anyone?
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PG anon
Please keep reminding me to not post your ask, just so I remember!
I understand struggling with being able to talk to those closest to you, but remember that those closest to you WANT to help. <3
Glasses: Do you live in a place where you could order a backup pair online? That way you have them, just in case the others break?
Fainting: This sounds...awful. Can you ask the doctors to look for an alternative medication? Also maybe ask for a doctor's note that allows you to take breaks in school if you need to? I know that doesn't solve the problem but maybe it'll help with some of the anxiety...
C: That's so scary, and I'm so glad someone told adults. Unfortunately, depression is SO prevalent right now, especially in teens. And that fear is so upsetting...Do yo think you can talk to any adults about this? I know it's hard to make yourself talk about it, but you can't keep all this bottled up! It's so much to handle, especially when you're young. I'm glad you're at least talking to me :)
Yay, I'm glad you're sending me positives, too!
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Midnights anon
Hi!
PLEASE don't be sorry, you absolutely didn't sound mean or bitter. You're allowed to have these feelings. You're allowed to want someone who cares about YOU and loves you unconditionally! That doesn't make you a bad person, that makes you human! Please continue to rant in my inbox, I don't mind.
As far as college... honestly, as someone who has been through deciding on a college, my advice is to lost out the pros and cons of the university you're talking about. Try to take the emotional piece out by listing the facts. And then list out the pros and cons of a different school. Don't just say 'fuck it' and rebel, but don't blindly follow your parents' wishes, either. Make an informed decision.
Sending love!
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deadname anon
I have a really good, relatively new friend, and I think I might have stumbled across their deadname, and im not sure what to do. I'm not sure if i should tell this person or not, I don't plan on doing anything with the information I didn't really want to know in the first place because that feels wrong
Hi!
Okay so I think it depends on how you found their deadname. If you found it in a place that they can't do anything about- like you accidentally saw it on a legal form or something- then no, don't say anything. That's not their name anymore and what good does telling them do?
BUT if you saw it in a place where something can be done- someone posted it on social media, for example- then yes, tell them. Because it may be that they'll want to try to get it removed. (Or not- it's different from person to person)
This is just my opinion, of course, but yeah. I think it depends on if anything can be done to prevent more people from learning their deadname in the future. Either way, of course, don't share what you know with anyone.
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willpower anon
Hi! <3
very gently, this IS a real problem. It's not too early to tell someone at all. Because the longer you wait, the more damage you're doing to yourself that could be irreversible.
I think the first step is to tell whatever adult you trust them most. It doesn't have to be a parent, it can be ANY adult that you feel is trustworthy and smart. I know saying something is terrifying, but please know that you're already in dangerous territory here.
Also remember that saying something is just SAYING something. You're not changing any habits (yet). Take things one step at a time, and say something first.
Also also...the fact that you don't want to stop? That kind of proves it's a problem.
Sending love <3
