Freaked out friend anon (new), 14 anon, gender is hard anon (new)
Freaked out friend anon (new)
Hey cas, I hope you’re doing well 🫶
Im sending this ask because im kinda freaked out and i dont know what to do, and i need someone’s opinion on it who isn’t intertwined in my life. (redacted)
Hi hon!
I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this. It's never easy to have to make this decision and to feel that level of responsibility. But reading over your ask, I think you already know what to do: you need to tell someone. Like you said, it is so much better for your friend to be mad and alive than the alternative. Pick someone to tell who you know will take you and the situation seriously, and know that you are doing what is best. Remember that even though it isn't easy, you're doing it because you care, and that's what's important. I'm proud of you for reaching out, and your friend is lucky to have someone like you <3
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14 anon
Cas I just did pigtails in my hair for the first time!!! I also recently learnt how to tie my shoelaces and I’m really proud of myself! It took a LONG time but I did it!
I’m also 15 two weeks from tmrw which is exciting
-14 anon
Hi!! Happy almost birthday! It sounds like things are going well, I'm so happy for you! I hope things continue to be that way <3
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gender is hard anon (new)
Gender is HARD
I've been out as nonbinary for around three years now, but recently I've been doing some more on depth thinking about my own gender identity and I think I'm much more transmasc/much more of a guy than I initially expected. I've never really thought too deeply about it until recently, but I really want to start using he/they pronouns and I've been thinking about changing my name for YEARS and I've finally found one I really like.
The only issue is I came out years ago and I don't actually know how I did that because having to re-come out as transmasc fills me with dread and horror in my soul and genuinely makes me feel a bit embarrassed?? Like I'm in my final year of uni I feel like it's too late to be like "hey guys please call me this haha" but also I should definitely do it but how do I do that?? Like is it too cringe to come out over text to my uni friends??
Hi!
I definitely understand how you feel. I think the world views multiple 'coming outs' or changes in identity as shameful or cringe because it's seen as a mistake or something. But in reality, you're just finding out more about yourself, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that! Hell, it's actually amazing that you know yourself so well!
Remember though, you can come out in a way that feels good to you. You don't have to post on social media or throw a gender reveal party (joking). You can simply say to your friends "hey, I'd like to go by x now." and that's it!
But also...if you want to throw a party...you do you!
You only life one life, so you should do what feels most authentic to you. Fuck what everyone else thinks <3
14 anon, big city anon (new), bad at binding anon (new)
14 anon
14 anon!
my day was so hectic yesterday omg
in second period (English) I was just tryna put the sweets I was eating back in my bag when something smacks into the back of my neck. It really hurts and the sub lets me go outside the class and one of my friends comes with me. She gives me a hug while I cry then we go tell my head of year and he goes and yells at the boys who through the thing (I’m gonna do a grand reveal later) and gives 6 boys an hour after school detention since no one knew who there the thing at me. Me and my friend do a few laps before going back to class once I have ice for my neck. When we go back, some boys start rushing to say sorry in that way when you’re just trying to stay out of trouble and I ignore them. One kept calling me “her” so my other friend was like “she has a name you know. It’s 14 anon.” And they kinda shut up for the rest of class. I got to sit out of PE because I had a…………
drum roll please
dictionary thrown at the back of my neck!!!!
I was gonna go in today but this morning I chose not to and I texted one of my friends in my new friend group (I don’t have anyone else’s number sadly and I’m scared to ask) and told her I wasn’t coming in and why and she said “ok well I hope u feel better soon” and I said “ty” and she said “np but u don’t have to say ty that’s what friends are for” and I got startled bc I’ve never really had ‘nice’ friends, mostly just like the type of friendship where ur mean to each other but don’t mean it , so I sent a pink heart and she sent “☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷” back and omg I have nice friends!!!
Omg a DICTIONARY? What the FUCK? That should be a suspension. I'm so glad you're okay, that could really hurt!
It makes me so happy that you have kind, supportive friends though! You deserve that and obviously you needed that in those moments <3 I hope you feel better soon, too, that really sucks </3
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big city anon (new)
Advice please: I go to school in a big city and my commuting and walking around there kind of freaks my parents out. I was there yesterday and got approached by a guy talking to me and my automatic response was the engage in conversation (which I know is silly but then I was stuck talking and walking with him). He did end up asking for money and I said I didn’t have cash and he asked if I could buy him something and I said I didn’t have time. He then asked how old I was (for reference I told him 22, which I am, and he said I looked 18). But after that he walked off and left me alone. Now if he would have grabbed me or harassed me or anything I would have run but although I was kind of panicking, I also didn't feel like I was in immediate danger.
So here's my questions. What should I have done in that situation? How can I prepare myself if I get into that situation again? Should I tell my parents (I don't want to freak them out, but it feels like lying to not mention it)? Any advice would help. I know I didn't handle the situation the best way, everything I've read says to not engage, but I instinctively did and then I was stuck (please don't think I'm stupid) and I really didn't know what to do.
Hi!
I don't think you're stupid at all! I think these situations are hard because like...you dont want to be mean to someone or assume the worst. Unfortunately, though, the world we live in makes it so it's safest to assume the worst.
If this happens again, I would keep to simple, polite, short answers. "No, sorry." Is usually my go-to. Unfortunately, people can also get aggressive if you're too blunt, (which sucks...like why do we have to cater to other people's emotions?) so "no, sorry" shuts down the person in a polite way without inviting further conversation. Just say it over and over. I know it FEELS rude, but it's for safety. And if they insist too much, take out your phone and make (or pretend to make) a call. And if your gut tells you you're unsafe? Call the police. It's better to be wrong than dead.
As far as your parents...I don't think you have to tell them if you don't want to. You're an adult and you are allowed to keep things to yourself. You weren't ever threatened and you got out of the situation, so you don't have to tell them for safety reasons. If you want to tell them, sure! But it's not being dishonest to not mention it. Hell, if I told my parents about every time a man harassed me, my phone bill would be sky-high.
But yeah, you're not stupid at all! This is NOT your fault and you shouldn't have to deal with this. People just suck </3
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bad at binding anon (new)
Cas i am so bad at binding 😭 I can’t get a binder because parents and I usually either don’t bind or I used safe methods from the internet (though tbh they work so badly I may as well not be doing anything) I got mocked (lightly and affectionately) by my friends on Sunday for my inability.
Today though omfg today 😖 I was watching a video on body horror through a trans lense and I was getting increasingly aware of my boobs and somehow I ended up sat on my bedroom floor shirtless and desperately trying to find a way to bind.
I’m not going to stick with it OBVIOUSLY because it was fucking painful 😭 but eventually I ended up layering like 3 sports bras that were all too small and also like tying pink satin and red velvet ribbons around myself. It looked pretty 😭 it worked too!! But like OW MY FUCKING GOD OW
I think I freaked out my friend 😭
ahhhhh PLEASE do not use ribbons! Not safe!
But I feel this so much- my chest is big and it's hard to bind. Have you tried using binding tape/KT tape? KT tape is for muscles, is safe on skin, and you can use it the same way as binding tape (there are tutorials on youtube. You can tall your parents you want it for sports/sore muscles, and it is easily hidden under clothing and disposable. Just make sure to follow tutorials and remove it with oil to avoid damage!
so F and L are friends again. F’s behaviour in school has been really bad (skipping, swearing at the teachers who try and take her back to class etc) and is now banned from the school library, where we usually spend our break and lunch periods. Everyday, F, L, and La have been leaving me by myself in the library because they’re walking around the building (something that’s not allowed). I refuse to do that with them because getting ij trouble genuinely makes me feel sick. On Thursday, I finally gave up and spent break and lunch with my friend T and her group. They actually include me and just made space for me at their table. Before break today (Friday) I told T how fed up I was of them leaving me alone and she said she’d let me into the group if it was her decision and told me to ask two of her friends if that was ok (since they were hurt a little by the last girl who joined them. She doesn’t go to our school anymore) and they said I could! Now I have a proper big friend group (not including me it’s 7 ppl) and they’re all really nice to me. Just typing this in so happy I wanna cry
But, my library prefect shifts start next week and I have one with La. Not excited for that next week.
Hi!
I'm glad you found a friend group that seems to have the same morals as you, that's great! It's really brave of you to stand up to your old friends and refuse to break the rules, I'm proud of you! I hope that things with T's group are better. Remember that no matter what happens, you deserve respect and to not be pressured <3
Hi! I hope you know who you are bc I have to redact your ask...
I know how you feel, I've been there. It's an absolutely awful feeling and it's so hard to ignore. Please know that I'm here for you and thinking about you and I care <3 Try to take it one minute at a time. I believe in you and you can get through this <3
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internalized ableism anon
Hi, it's been a while, but it's internalized ableism anon again! I just wanted to send you a message with a short update. I had my wheelchair fitting and I should receive my wheelchair and electric handbike attachment in January/February. I still sometimes struggle with the acceptance part of it, but generally speaking I'm doing way better with that compared to when I first sent you a message. I am going to do a wheelchair skills training in early 2026 and I'm even kind of looking forward to that, I think doing that with other wheelchair users will help me a lot, both with skills and with accepting my wheelchair. I didn't get to pick a fun colour, but I'm also totally okay with the black chair I'm getting and I can always decorate it a bit. So yeah, a positive message! Thank you again for your kindness! I hope you're having a good day
oh hey I remember you! I'm so glad you're feeling better about the situation! I'm glad you're doing the class- that'll give you such a good support system, especially because you'll have people who understand. I'm proud of you for doing what's best for you and your health!
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@teasiswriter
I may or may not have an anxious attachment style of like, love/care or whatever…
And it’s manifesting in my relationship with the birds 😭😭
Like, I mean to to give them all a super big feast before they left for the winter but I ordered in mid November, and the shop I order from is NOTORIOUSLY slow with their deliveries (but their food tastes AMAZING (to the birds, not me, lol)) and it hasn’t arrived yet, and it’s already snowing!
So now I’m worried that they won’t come back in the spring,
Even though logically, I know that they’ve come back even before I fed them,
And they live here
And they’re not gonna forget about me when they move to warmer weather (I hope)
But I’m just so worried! I miss feeling included when I’d hear blue jays, or how I felt when the birds would sing along to my guitar or chirp directly at me when I was outside 😞😞
To cope I shall be listening to this song literally about waiting for a bird to come back 😭😭😭
hahaha this is so real. Remember, though, animals go off of instinct, so it will be their instinct to come back to you. They won't just change behavior for no reason. Plus, if the food comes late, you'll have extra for next year!
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culminating anon (new-ish)
Hi Cas! This is probably gonna be a long vent :( I have other anon names but like, all the problems and stresses from those anons are culminating in a massive depressive episode
Hi! I hope you don't mind I didn't copy all of your ask
But wow, this is SO much to deal with. I don't blame you at ALL for feeling so overwhelmed or sad. I would feel that way too! I'm shocked you're functioning.
Forgive me, i don't know because you didn't give me your other anon names...do you have anyone who's helpful? Like a teacher, a guidance counselor, anyone like that? Even if they can't DO anything, but like...someone to talk to?
Sending love <3
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14 anon
update: no I’ve not talked to him and my friend was in school again and called him fugly and hes a lil strange looking but so cute like he’s got the curliest hair and just. 🤩
hahaha this made me laugh. I hope you talk to him soon!
got a lot to unpack today so let’s start with the good stuff
I had Wednesday and Thursday off of school this week and in Wednesday the sendco finally called my mum and so after mocks next week I’m going into a new form!!!
I said a while back that I applied to be a library prefect and I found out yesterday that I got the job!!!!
before the holidays we wrote an essay in English and we got the grades back yesterday and I got 35/40 which with the grade boundaries my teacher chose means I got a gcse grade 8 which is the second best you can get (still shocked because I thought the essay was crap)
I’ve been wanting a jellycat bunny for months and I finally got one because I had to go a & e for a finger injury from basketball (nothing serious)
now onto the bad stuff
it’s Saturday night and I’ve not touched anything educational for my mocks starting Monday
my friend L called me saying she told our heads of year about our friend F’s plan to go to an abandoned hotel (I think it’s a hotel) with her gf and loads of friends because her parents already said they don’t want her going there and it’s full of addicts and stuff and she didn’t want F getting hurt but now F is mad at her (I honestly think L was justified. I’m too afraid to say anything because I wanna keep everyone happy. Fatal flaw tbh)
there’s muscle or ligament strain in my foot so I can’t walk properly and the doctor said it’ll take a couple of weeks so that’s great 👍
(I do get to leave lessons early and use the lift so that’s nice)
there’s been NO development in the crush department
oh and I’m scared that F will somehow spread a rumour/tell my crush that I like him because she’s upset about L telling teachers about her plan and getting mad at me too (she’s the only person I trusted to tell about my crush)
one last thing… THE UK MIGHT GET AN UNDER 16 SOCIAL MEDIA BAN RIGHT AFTER IVE BEEN ALLOWED TIKTOK
Hi!
It's awesome to hear all of that great news! congrats on the job and the good grade!
I agree that L was justified. I wouldn't be too nervous about F retaliating at you, because you didn't do anything directly, but I also have to say...if someone makes you nervous about retaliation, it might be a good idea to not tell them secrets again, you know?
Ugh social media bans. Like...let parents decide.
Sending you love!
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florian anon (new)
Hello :)
So I have this friend, and he kinda just stopped replying to my messages. The last time I heard from him was New Year’s day when he hearted one of my text messages, and I haven’t heard from him since. It isn’t too weird for us to not talk (like neither of us will text the other for a bit), but I’ve tried texting him (on several different occasions) and he left me on read. It sort of feels like I might have done something wrong, but our last interaction was normal as far as I remember. I don’t want to be pushy, especially if I did something but also have a feeling that something might be wrong. One of my friends told me that I should send him a text checking in on him, to make sure he’s alright, I think I might do that, but I don’t know.
What do you think I should do?
Thank you,
Florian
Hi!
I think you'll never know if yu don't ask. There are so many reasons why someone could stop responding, and it's not really helpful to just sit a speculate, you know? Gently ask if something's going on or if you did something wrong, and if your friend gets annoyed or angry, then that's not on you. You TRIED to communicate, and your friend didn't want to. But at least you did your best by trying. And if they DO say something, work on helping/fixing it! Either way, doing nothing isn't going to help, it's just going to drive you crazy! <3
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powerless anon
Right now I am trying to convince someone why they deserve to have anything at all and I think it's absolutely horrible that this isn't the first time and won't be the last. I don't have the words to help but maybe the ones I do have can help because I love them. I've never even met them irl but I care so much that I don't know what to do with all this feeling they're 13 they're so young I hate that they've felt this because I know they'll never forget it.
I'm not even 16 yet I shouldn't have to tell people younger than me that they deserve to exist. I'll keep doing it though because I'd rather make myself sick with worry than anything happen to them and the multiple other people I love who don't think they should be alive. I just hate that anyone has to do this at all
-powerless anon
Hi <3
you're absolutely right that it is awful that someone so young feels that way. It shouldn't be like that, no matter what someone's age is. But I think it's important to remember that one major thing that can help mental health is a support system. If you're willing, you can continue to talk to this person, but you should also encourage them to find other supportive people to talk to. It's unhealthy to be someone's sole support system, because that makes you take on responsibility for someone, and you should only do that if you're a parent. it's okay to encourage people to have a group of people, and to set boundaries for yourself- you don't want to BOTH end up in distress.
Sending you love <3
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usaid anon
Hi! I don't think you're overreacting. I think anything that makes you uncomfortable is something to be upset about! A lot of adult men don't even REALIZE when they're being creepy, and it's so unacceptable. It's unfortunate that young people have to be so aware of their surroundings and of red flags, because adults can be creeps.
If you told your parents about this, what would happen?
(I have to go be responsible so I'll respond to your other ask tomorrow!)
my mum is pissing my off so bad rn it’s actually crazy
a few days ago she said if I help her in the kitchen (tidying and organising) then I can get this cheap switch game that I want but today she tells me to go do a job in the kitchen and I do but then she tells me to do another that I physically can’t because the food cupboard is full and she tells me to “go away” and then she moans to my dad that she’s not feeling good so we can’t do the kitchen and I start asking her if whenever we do it I can still get the game and she says “no.” Before I even finish my sentence. I’m so fucking annoyed that I feel like I’m gonna cry
Hi! <3
That sucks, it always is so frustrating when people go back on their word, I understand why you're mad! Is there any chance she might change her mind again once she's feeling better?
Sending love!
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midnights anon
Hello Cas! How are you?
I finished finals! I hope I did well, the hardest one was math but the rest were great and I’m trying not to think abt school stuff too hard over break
And my whole family (in clouding extended family, so like 40 people I think) is going on a cruise for Christmas cuz of my cousin (not the same cousin that came over for the summer but his younger brother)’s birthday. I’m really excited but also super anxious, not because of the cruise in particular or the packing/traveling (even though packing suitcases is indeed the bane of my existence 😞), but just about life in general? I feel like… addicted to how bad school makes me feel. Now that I have over 14 days of no school I feel all directionless, and bored, and also like in a state of limbo? I just feel all guilty about existing when I’m not working. I also just don’t like being a student :( I have no control over anything related to my life and the way school is structured feels super unsustainable for my mental health. Like, intense and painful stress, (comparatively tiny) break, repeat 3 times a year.
I’m getting sidetracked, I know that there’s no point in complaining and stuff since nothing will change, and I should just… be happy regardless but it’s really hard :( I invite friends (including theater friends) to hangout outside of school and i just feel so unsettled and anxious about it, like one of my friends and I hung out for a few hours together a few weeks ago and, I feel really bad saying this, but i just, felt so misplaced and awkward. I felt perpetually anxious during the entire hangout. And when I don’t hang out with friends I try to do stuff I like, or to just rest, but nothing feels good anymore either. And like,
I logically know that the “nothing feels happy or joyful” thought is just the depression making me avoid what will make me feel better, but it’s hard to feel that. I just feel so bored and incapable of doing anything I guess. I think I just need to carpe diem but it feels so hard to do. Even watching movies feels hard. I logically know that my life isn’t boring. I have so much stuff I can do, and am doing. There are cool people around me that I can (or choose to not) hangout with, and I’m not like “behind” in life or anything. It’s not a moral failure to not have a group of friends I feel genuinely seen by. I’m not inherently wrong or need to hide, but it’s so hard to feel that
I just want to do cool things and meet cool people and have a genuine community of people, and I feel like that’s actually starting to happen in my life, and I know that I have to do things that are hard first before something good comes out of it, but it’s hard :(
Thank you for reading my ramble! And happy late birthday! May your new age bring you joy and prosperity 🫶🫶🫶
—midnights anon
Hi! Okay while i was reading this I had two thoughts, I hope that's okay!
First, I think the reason you're feeling upset about not having school even though you don't like it is because school=routine. Even if you hate the routine, humans crave order and predictability. It's nice to know what's going on every day and to be able to throw yourself into something monotonous nd consuming, you know? So yeah, I know tht doesn't help, but...it's an answer?
As far as the other stuff...you're absolutely right about a lot of what you said: it IS depression and you're NOT behind and you ARE gaining community. But you make it sounds SUPER simple when you say "oh I should just enjoy it!" um, that's not easy for everyone, and you're selling yourself short, here! You've put a lot of work into improving your life over the past few months, and continuing to embrace change--even positive change-- is difficult! it's okay to struggle and not feel okay <3 I promise.
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plural crushes anon
Helloooo!
Thank you so much for your answers! <3 I’ve been trying to see what other ppl in my life who are dating mean when they say stuff related to this and the general answer I’m getting is slightly inconclusive… which makes me conclude that romance is very very unique from person to person. So I also guess that’s why I’ve never seen other people talk about/experience romance in the way i do because they’re not me, and I’m not them, I suppose?
Also bad news, the crush I had on the person who’s passive and kind of dismissive in the friend group but super caring one on one? It’s back :( I still like them and I don’t know how to make it go awayyyyyyyyyyy
Like… they’re not good for me. It’s a genuinely rude thing to ignore someone just because you’re in a group (that’s also just pretty rude in general) but AGH. I can’t stop feeling all weird and nervous around them 😔
And I’ve also been like, yearning a lot cuz I feel really touch starved and romantically starved :( people keep saying I have to find love in myself but… my self worth is fine. I like me well enough (some days I even love myself! Which is nice), but I also just want to be a stupid teenager with someone else and unmask and just do couple-y things with (specifically with someone who isn’t dismissive of me, like my current (sort of) crush)
I just feel alone in terms of friendship too (which I’ve been working on but it’s still really difficult to find a community). I just want a group of people who make me feel safe and not embarrassed to exist whenever I open my mouth :(
I just wish I was older and all of this sad yearning teenage stuff was in the past. I feel so dumb and stupid, everyone else seems to have it together and I don’t. Why else would so many people just be all dismissive and mean :(
Sorry for being a downer, have a lovely day <3
—plural crushes anon
Hi!
You're absolutely right, dating is very unique for each person. I think you're also finding that we can't always control our feelings- hence, your not-so-wonderful crush.
BUT at the same time, it is NOT unique to be feeling the general teenage yearning. I promise you, you are not alone in that. I felt it at that age, and even though people do a great job of hiding it, they are feeling it too. That's why they're dismissive and mean-they don't know how to handle their feelings.
Please know, though, you deserve someone who doesn't dismiss you. Don't let your yearning cause you to accept the first person to show you interest, even if they're dismissive. Hold out for a good person who celebrates you <3
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galaxy anon
Hi Cas!! It's galaxy anon!
I just came to ask for a bit of advice :)
Sooo this guy I really like asked me out on a date yesterday. We're going to go to the cinema together (and he said he's paying ❤️) so it should be pretty chill but also
I've never been on a date in my life. I don't know what I'm doing. He said we can take it slow and just figure things out together but I'm scared I'm going to mess it up.
Do you have any tips?
Thanks
Hi!
Honestly, I think my best tip is to be yourself. I know it's cliche, but what I mean by that is: don't be fake or try to impress too much. Just be you! Don't be afraid of being a bit nervous because he probably is, too, and it's okay to be a bit awkward. First dates can be awkward! My first date with my wife was awkward and it now makes for a great story.
But most importantly: it's okay to say no. You don't need to give a reason and you don't need to feel guilty. If he tries to do anything you don't want, 'no' is a complete answer, and a good guy will be completely chill with that.
PLEASE keep me updated, I want to know how it goes!
Ive asked here before anonymously but I cannot remember my anon name. I am a teacher who is STRUGGLING with my job. I am a first year teacher but the issues im having even the 18 year veteran cant solve in her classroom. I'm also annoyed with my admin and special education departments. Essentially, I want to know if you have any advice on how to figure out if I dont like teaching in general or if its my school. Thank you in advance!
Hi!
This is a hard one. Honestly, some issues with teaching are going to always be there no matter the school (unless the whole country/world makes big changes) whereas some issues are DEFINITELY school/district/admin based. I think it depends on the specific issues you're having. You're welcome to DM me if you want to give me details, I'd be happy to talk more!
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culminating anon
Hi <3
I am so so glad you have your guidance counselor and have a safe space there. You deserve that safe space! I think you're right, I think a lot of people who feel this way just wat change, not an end. What if you think about the things you have control over, the things you can change? You can even ask your guidance counselor to help you if you're stuck? It can be hard to focus on the things you have power over when the things you don't have power over feel so daunting, so having help from others is really good <3
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9 months anon
It’s 9 months anon, things are a bit of a mess rn and I’m half asleep rn so I apologise in advance if this is incoherent. Me and (my now ex) girlfriend decided we’d be better off as friends about 2 months ago. We talked, I still don’t have all the answers I’d like but it’s over now. That’s not really the point of this though.
I thought I could get over her, I haven’t, like at all. I’ve tried to avoid her as much as I can while having classes together and friends who still think we’re together. Which is an entirely different issue that is slowly getting resolved. Anyway I need some advice on how to get over her, because every time I see her I want to die.
Hi!
I'm so sorry about the breakup <3 I have to say though, it's hard to get over someone if you can even fully process it, and it sounds like it'd be super difficult to process if your friends still think you're together. If they think you're together, then you haven't been talking about it, either! You have to talk about it to process it and move on. Also, you have to be easy on yourself...it's only been two months! These things take processing and time <3
Sending you love <3
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14 anon
ohhhh I meant I hope the girl didn’t make her friend go speak to my crush because she also has a crush on him, not that I want him to be dating someone oops
-14 anon
Ahhh okay! Well it sounds to me like now that you know he's single, you have to talk to him! That's the best way to get to know someone, after all!
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yap anon
I'm so scared for my friend cuz she's overworking herself for prelims
She keeps saying she will eat later and that she's fine but I know she doesn't get enough sleep or food and it's making her worse and I am so worried for her she keeps telling me to take breaks when I study but she won't and I don't want her to be very overwhelmed
Hi!
This can definitely be a scary thing, especially since we know these habits can lead to even scarier conditions. What if you sit her down and tell her you're genuinely worried, maybe even show her some studies that prove that people do better on exams after having eaten and slept? Her goal is to do well, after all, so maybe coming at it from an 'I want you to do well' perspective will make her listen more than just telling her to take care of herself.