• Humpty Dumpty Elegy 8 | five books on 🦊POWER🦔 •
When I was an eleven year old boy, a very wise squirrel said something I never forgot:
Insecurity is the one thing that never goes out of style. And I am proudly outdated
He's a good lord and master, that Foamy the Squirrel. Taught me an embarrassingly large number of good ideas. Embarrassing, mostly because it exposes my obvious fatherlessness.
But hey, I'm a man of many dads. I got OG Gaydad (plus a step-Gaydadmother + their fuccboi), Realdad the Deaddad, Stepdad the Notyetdeaddad, Trinidad Deaddad, Partially-lobotomized Mohawkdad, new Trinidad dad (alive), plus Doug Stanhope, Aesop Rock, and everyone's LORD AND MASTER Foamy (My mom hasn't banged the last three, yet). A real Papa Johns Buffet.
My mom's got a nice book for you, it's called, "The Ethical Slut" by Dossie Easton. Sounds cool. Wasn't cool hearing her and my Grandma discuss it at the dinner table. Yuck.
So what are we in for today? What's the topic du mois?
POWER
I knew this was coming, and even though Humpty's not actually reading any of this, I wanted to make sure I put books on being a solid person, before I recommend books on being a powerful one.
Readers definitely care more about power and influence, than ethics and morality, or god forbid, narcissism. Which I completely understand; who the fuck am I, anyway? But I'm playing with fire here, giving a wannabe serial/spree killer/rapist books on power.
But now, with all the medicinal shit out of the way, time for the delicious stuff. Topics that are way more fun, like psychedelics, stupidity, "monkey brains", the soul, etc. Should be mostly free of moralizing from now on.
Fuck it, say the rock can't hide you, the river's bleedin', and the sea's boilin'. Sinnerman, you're going to need power. Pa-ha-ha-hawah!
• #1 The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell •
Lets start off small. I say Humpty's something, if only an empty shell with room to fill. Humpty says he's nothing... period.
Pick something you find insignificant, and he'll diminish himself beyond that. A mote of dust? Too big. An atom? My, that's generous. Sub-atomic particle? Close, but still too energetic to be his match.
The self-hate is so cartoonish you have to wonder if he's just putting on a show. Even Wednesday, with his actual life of pain, at least sees the fact that he survived it all as some measure of greatness. But Humpty? Well we all know how he works at this point. It's a short script.
So lets humor him. He's itty fuckin bitty. Who cares? Who isn't? We're all ants, hoping a good hill will emerge from us. Thing is, hills don't emerge from one ant; ants are pretty pathetic specimens all alone. But as a group, they can eat an elephant, brain first, and elephants know it.
This book is like Atomic Habits, for hills and hives. No person of influence or significance ever made it to our awareness alone. They came crowdsurfing in on a swarm of apes, tossed about like a beloved beachball.
It's easy to get misled into thinking there's only one correct role to play in society, and that you just ain't it. Maybe you find that the most legendary people are the ones who can convince people of anything, or have a vast library of info in their head, or an expansive network of powerful acquaintances. Maybe you're daunted by the idea that you have to be all three at once to accomplish your dreams.
Pick the one that comes to you most naturally, nurture that side, then search for the other two, and befriend them. Geniuses occupy multiple categories. But hey, fuck being a genius, don't be a narcissist, move on. We is what we is. Intelligence has diminishing returns, and the vast majority of an individual's intelligence is stored in their peers, not their brains.
Malcolm calls these three "Salesmen, Mavens, and Connectors"
I used to get down on myself, for spending so much of my free time alone, hammering useless factoids into my head. It seems I prefer reading about humans over interacting with them. Meanwhile people like Wednesday and my brother hunger for new connections 10x harder than I do. I just siphon friends from them.
However, as much as I envy their drive to connect, they envy my ability to be comfortable alone, and the knowledge I've independently accumulated over the years. They've both referred to me as a major resource for information, that's given them an edge in their own life.
After reading this book, I finally recognized that I'm fine as-is, and so are they. In fact I've always had a pretty good thing going, despite my reclusiveness. I'm a maven, they're connectors. The only thing we're missing, is a salesman and a mission. Then we can finally start that cult we've been dreaming about. wat?
Now, Malcolm focusses on how these three combine to make HUGE things happen, and gives the slight impression that they're rare people. But that's not true. The scale doesn't matter, whether you're looking to put together the next Amazon, or just make a fond name for yourself in a little pissbunk town of eighty people. Humans all generally fall into these categories. If you're wondering what your calling is, it's good to start by asking yourself whether you're a connector, a maven, or a salesperson.
Greatness is not a highway with just one fast lane. It's a heavy ass carriage that needs three horses at a time. Figure out what kind you are, find the papers and scissors to your rock, harness up, and get pulling.
[p.s. Malcolm infamously promotes the "broken windows policy" in this, which has been debunked. Big cringe. But it plays a very small role in making his overall point. Don't let it distract you too much.]
• #2 The Square And The Tower by Niall Fergusson •
What does power mean to you? When do you feel that taint-tingling, goose-bumping, buckle-swashing feeling that you are in the presence of something truly powerful?
Me, I'm less spooked by kings and their coterie. Likely a form of stupidity on my part. But I always see hierarchs as the middle of the hierarchy. Because above, below, behind, and beyeet them, lie networks and conspiracies. It's networks that chill my bones. Like the neat little gang of psychics I spotted in New Orleans.
I've seen the power of them my whole life. My mother is a member of the largest conspiracy in the Great Lakes/New England region: Barbershop singers. She's got connections from Salem to Sault St. Marie. She even sang with one of my principals as a Sweet Adeline which got me way more mercy than my misbehaving ass ever deserved. One of her other friends even got me a job working at Camp Rock (aka Camp Kilcoo) for a summer, living in a cabin next to a lake, making bacon and eggs for some delightful little punkass kids. That place taught me to shake hands like a man.
I exaggerate, but really, a mere barbershop network is like hammerspace for human potential. Reach in, pull something out for free. Even weirder, my mom's known by hundreds of people by a single letter. I can say "You know X?" And people go "Oooooh! So YOU are X's son!!"
If you want to keep an eye on power, you have to know what you're looking at. Now, it's a mistake to put hierarchies and networks on a continuum of opposites. Power can coagulate, or it can dissolve. Any Satanists out there?
Networks can act as hierarchies, and hierarchies can network. The best analogy is in the name: Hierarchies are vertical like towers, networks are horizontal like the market square beneath them. Some shit is a bit diagonal.
Historians are absolutely terrible at piecing together networks throughout history, because they leave measly paper trails. Either they're non-existent, or so vast and full of noisy data as to be encrypted to history.
Niall first does a great job of drawing clear lines between how hierarchies and networks operate. Then for the rest of the book, he gives a variety of examples of both, throughout history.
I didn't realize till I reread these books, but this one pairs perfectly with The Tipping Point. Niall discusses network nodes, and the importance of a node's "centrality". It all becomes extremely familiar when he gets into the three different kinds of centrality:
"Degree centrality" = The number of edges radiating out of a node. Like how many doors a room has. A room with many doors has high degree centrality. With humans, it's a measure of sociability. Or as Gladwell might put it, the node is a "connector"
"Betweenness centrality" = The extent to which info and influence passes through a node. It could be a room with few doors, but those few doors are where huge amounts of traffic and data flows through. Not a high quantity of doors, but a high quality. These are the "maven" nodes.
"Closeness centrality" = The number of steps it takes for one node to reach another. The Kevin-Baconiness of a node. The fewer the average steps from one node to all others in the network, the higher the closeness centrality.
For anyone who has read You Are Not So Smart and were left wanting to learn more about Dunbar's Number, these first two books both cover the concept pretty well.
I could go on, this is a very dense book, packed with cool information. How do poor people and rich people network? What are the "7 great insights of network theory"? What makes weak ties so strong? How come the rich get richer? Davos Man? Illuminati? Technology? Jungle warfare? Would the world be better without hierarchy? When is it time to be a non-conformist, or to integrate?
I'm afraid you'll just have to read this big thicc bitch to find out.
• #3 On Grand Strategy by John Lewis Gaddis •
You used to have to join an Ivy League school to get what this book offers. How fancy.
If there's one thing I absolutely love, it's a book on harmony. Taking two powerful and compelling opposites, finding the hip that joins them, and exemplifying those who can harmonize both sides into one effective point of view.
What are you, a fox, or a hedgehog? A map, or a compass?
As the analogy goes, the fox searches for food everywhere, and everywhere finds a new challenge to overcome. Life is uncertain. The fox is willy, creative, and dynamic. Whereas the hedgehog sits in one bush, and waits for his food to skitter and wriggle right up to him. Threaten him, he just balls up and waits. The hedgehog lives a simple life of certainty and stasis.
It's maybe unsurprising that Sonic is the de facto mascot for autism. Even though he's super fast, he moves in straight lines, and instead of staying still, he absolutely never wants to stop. A real linear fella, with a roguish fox-like veneer.
Many people make the mistake of trying to adopt just one form. But you need both. The other great analogy Gaddis uses is the topographical map vs the compass. One needs both to properly navigate. The compass points you north with certainty and straightforwardness, but it won't warn you of the swamps and cliffs, like a good map will.
With the basic dynamic laid out, Gaddis then loads you up with some choice examples throughout history, of foxes and their hedgehog foils, as well as people who embodied both styles with great harmony and success.
There are some fascinating pairs to think about. Machiavelli and St Augustine, Queen Elizabeth and King Philip II, Tolstoy and Clausewitz, Lincoln and Douglas, Jackson and Hamilton, etc. the respective foxes and hedgehogs of their times.
"Grand Strategy", according to John, involves combining one's inner fox and hedgehog, adapting to incompatibilities, keeping your self rooted with your head out of the clouds where platitudes swarm, and making decisions that can overcome the constant changes in time, space, and scale.
• #4 The 48 Laws Of Power by Robert Greene •
This is the book that started the Humpty Dumpty Elegy, officially. Scoffing at You Are Not So Smart was Hump's biggest single insult. But this got me in motion. I never planned on sharing this one with anybody. It even says to keep plenty of your best knowledge secret. But power crystalized into a topic, and without this, there were only four out of five books. Well sheeit.
Looking at the reviews, just the existence of a book like this upsets people. In fact, I was guilty of a similar attitude. I only read it after letting it sit in my library for more than a year. I figured only creepy douchebags and prisoners would read something like this.
But thanks to Chrissy Chaos blabbin' about it everywhere he went, I decided to give it a shake. And I'm so glad I did.
Now I'm upset at whatever put that bullshit in my head. Anybody who tells you not to empower yourself is your enemy. There's nothing to gain from being weak. Nothing for you, that is.
And if you think tough men are dangerous, wait until you see what weak men eggs are capable of -- Jordan Peterson, 12 Rules For Life
I should have known better. Repressing your shadow is one of the most effective ways of turning yourself into a neurotic psycho. You oughta be out there, vice signaling.
There were a number of rules that pointed the finger at Humpty, saying, "get this bastard out of your life!" But the one that obviously sealed the deal was,
Law 10: Infection, avoid the unhappy and unlucky.
Now, "unhappy and unlucky" describes Wednesday to a T. So I cracked a joke at him saying, "Sorry dude, my book says ya gotta go. Time to giddy the fuck up on out ma life, beitch!" We laughed, but I worried he might actually be thinking that the creepy power book I'm reading is saying mean things about him behind his back.
So I thought about it, and wondered what I might say to make it clear that Mr. Greene wasn't referring to my powerful and inspiring friend Wednesday. In case Wednesday happened to catch real feelings about it.
"He wasn't talking about you, he was talking about Humpty Dumpty."
🤯⚡💡
When I said that in my head, a lightning bolt fired off in there, all these neurons waiting to connect finally did, and Humpty's scheme unraveled in my mind from beginning to end.
Now, I'd like to reiterate, I never advocated for kicking Humpty Dumpty out of our little group. I merely told them that I was 100% done with his crybaby bullshit, and that I was planning on doing things differently for my own peace of mind. But The Twelve Days Of Christmas began, without me needing a single power law to guide it. I just wanted to bore him, and ignore him.
But aaah well fuck him, he's not reading this. All this guilty conscience shit has got to be getting boring.
When the book wasn't describing Dump as cancer, it actually described him as a dude with remarkable control over his life already. It's just that he laments everything that makes him powerful:
His intentions are obscure; He always says less than necessary; He's got a great reputation, outside of the Discord; He effortlessly courts attention towards his fake pitifulness; He gets others to do work for him; He's can be disarmingly honest and generous; He knows to appeal to people's self-interest or self-image; He's never committed to anyone; He played a sucker to catch a sucker (Wednesday and I); He's the living embodiment of the "surrender tactic"; He played on our need to believe; He can control your options, dealing only the cards he wants you to play with; All grapes are sour grapes to him; He IS a compelling spectacle; And though he behaves like others, he thinks like nobody else.
The fun part of reading this book is finding what things you actually do quite well. We learn plenty of these laws naturally, as kids, and it's validating hearing them in a book like this. Humpty's not helpless, no matter how much he insists. After reading this, I just can't buy it from him.
It's not just validating, but overall refreshing and unique. Robert wrote this out of frustration, as he apparently writes all of his books. He found nobody was writing anything practical or honest about power. Everything else avoided delving into the human shadow, or just telling it like it is when it comes to the ego.
"Amoral" is a fair word for this book. It is not gonna help you find eudaimonia, or fulfillment. It has no advice on what to do with all your newfangled power. So keep that in mind. Try my other recommendations.
But are you an anxious person? Why? You don't just have anxiety. You are anxious, about something. It's not a cold, nobody just sneezed it into you. Everyone's anxiety is their own complex tangle of knots for themself to unravel. So what's got you anxious?
I'd be willing to bet one major thread in that ball of knots is a feeling of powerlessness. From times you held power, and knowingly let it go. To times where you didn't know you had it till it was gone. Maybe you're another person who feels guilty about your own will to power, so you concealed it, from everyone first, then yourself. Maybe you had power before you knew it could corrupt, and you misused it, and don't think it belongs to you anymore. Don't let "power" be something ineffable to you like the idea of "cool" or "success"; It's a thing with definite properties.
This book is considered an absolute lifesaver for people in exploitative, political environments. Known as "the most popular book in prison", it's best usage is in the hands of those subjected to power, not the ones wielding it over others. 99% of people using this book are doing so defensively, not offensively.
If there's one great way to describe Humpty Dumpty, it's as a former prisoner. He's got all the markers of an animal, broken by an institution. Like Camus says, if prison changes you, it doesn't change you into a philosopher, but a dimwit or a monster.
My #1 goal with this series is to empower people (at the expense of one douchebag). I feel like I've always had a headstart on that in life, thanks to my parents and their unique attitudes. I think the most destructive people I've ever known were exemplars of weakness, not strength.
These are not absolute laws. There's no sane reason to worry about following all 48 laws at once, 24/7. Unless you can stomach the solitude of a pimp, which nobody really can, not even pimps. My workplace, for example, is very low on exploitation and politics, so I save a lot of energy and don't worry much about these laws each day. But if you have a goal, there are 48 definite things you can do to ensure you reach it.
And remember, there ain't no rest for the wicked. If you're looking to make a better world to live in, you gotta beat the bad guys to it.
• #5 The Dichotomy Of Leadership by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin •
Look at you, you powerful motherfucker. You did it. You're the boss now!
Alright now WAIT HURRY DON'T FUCK IT UP AAAH OH MY GOD WHHYYY!🔥⚠🦴🌊⚡💥☠
Ooooh way to go, you dick, everything's broken, people died, tisk tisk
Power and leadership ain't something to fuck around with. Nobody knows that better than our two Navy SEAL friends, Jocko and Leif.
I said I love books on harmony. This here is one of the best. Especially since these authors epitomize the idea of "skin in the game".
Not only did they successfully learn and apply these principles in war, they proved through their consulting company, Echelon Front, that they're applicable broadly, in all realms of leadership.
Jocko & Leif's first book, Extreme Ownership (or as my brother calls it Insane Responsibility) was a smash hit, and changed a lot of minds for the better. But that name, "extreme", broke many people's brains. So they followed it up with a book on balance: The Dichotomy Of Leadership.
Their goal was to empower through humility. But some bosses thought it all meant "micromanage with rabid zeal." And by doing so, they negated the ownership of everyone beneath them. People weren't allowed to make choices, so extreme ownership up and down the pecking order couldn't be achieved. Nobody was getting paid to think, and things would begin to get rigid, fragile, and collapse.
It was clear, that with responsibility out of the way, the next most important key to leadership is finding the healthy medians among the "countless dichotomies of leadership".
The ultimate dichotomy, to them, comes when a leader has to put their people's lives/livelihoods at risk, for the sake of the mission. But that's just the hardest one to stomach. Beyond that, they cover eleven more powerful dichotomies a leader must always keep in mind.
How do you own it all, while empowering others?
When does resolute become overbearing?
When do you mentor, and when do you fire?
Where's the line between training hard, and training smart?
How do you stay aggressive without being reckless?
How do you stay disciplined without being rigid?
How do you hold people accountable without holding their hands?
When should the leader follow?
You must plan, but when does it become overplanning?
Can you be humble without being passive?
How do you stay focused, but detached?
That's a whole bunch of shit, isn't it? Each one makes the hair holding Damocles' sword seem just that much thinner, and the sword that much sharper.
It's a whole lot more than just foxes & hedgehogs, maps & compasses, Hellenists & Hebraists, Squares & Towers, etc. All those seem adorably theoretical compared to everything in this book. This is Tolstoy, Clausewitz, AND Bonaparte, all in one. Plus enthralling stories of urban combat from the people stirring it up.
This book isn't just written for the bosses and supervisors of the world. Since only a tiny fraction of any group is in charge, and it probably won't be you. Their whole philosophy is about decentralized command, and instilling leadership qualities into every unit down the chain.
For me, since I haven't been in a leadership position since reading this, I have just been using it to size up bosses, and do my best to make myself immune from their misbehavior. I get my work done admirably, no complaints, no excuses, nobody ever cracks a whip at me; Nobody's gonna steal my table of knickknacks.
Growing up, I used to worry I'd be like my father, chronically quarrelling with my bosses. But with Jocko and Leif's gravelly voices in my head, I'm at the point in my life where I know my employers are lucky to have me, and I'm not afraid to remind them. Politely.
A huge factor in one's quality of life, is the quality of their workplace. These books can help you recognize, in a single week of work, whether you're in a place worth working in at all.
Judge your leaders on all this stuff. Do they take ownership of the mission, or blame others? Do they balance these dichotomies well? Do they waste precious leadership capitol by pulling rank? Are they afraid to fire carcinogenic coworkers? Do they prefer wishcasting over forecasting? Are they good teachers?
If they don't hold up, don't try to fix them, QUIT. High staff turnover is often the only leverage against a bad boss. I say the same thing every time a coworker tells me they handed in their two weeks:
"Congratulations!"
But if the mission matters to you, and quitting isn't an option, this book equips you with the knowhow to make the best of bad leadership. Ride out that high-turnover rate with grace, while your naughty boss capsizes. Or better yet, maybe it's time to start your own mission?
• End Bit •
Well, that was a pretty intense month of reading. I originally didn't read these books consecutively; these are some of my oldest and newest ones. But this month, I lined up the five most powerful ones I had, and snorted them right up my ass. It's been quite a rush.
In retrospect, I could have just as easily made the topic this month "harmony" because they all focus just as much on that. Which says a lot to me about the nature of power.
Even 48 Laws Of Power provides reversals to every rule, except for a critical handful which have no reversal (like there's NO benefit to ignorance of other people, PERIOD). With all the caveats and reversals, it's closer to 100 laws for you to ponder.
Ask yourself, who in your life would prefer that you didn't have power? I mean people that wince and cringe every time they spot you displaying strength. To some of you, that may sound paranoid and absurd. But I know people with peers that drag them down like crabs in a bucket; tall-poppy-types. Mostly women, if I'm being honest. One of the downsides of empathy and agreeability is how hard it makes getting rid of toxic "infectious" friends. Particularly ones who so casually throw around threats of self-harm.
If you keep an eye open though, you'll see there are a lot of people out there who don't want anyone to find strength or confidence. Their rationales vary from disgusting to pathetic, but the point is, some people are to strength as puritans are to joy. They find agency, efficacy, and potency to be egregious and profane. I fucking hate these people.
Their favorite targets are kids. There's something sacred to them about the insecurity we develop in puberty. They see the natural heroism and genius of children as evil, and seek to rid them of as much of it as possible.
When I was a kid, my favorite movie was Matilda. This scene set my whole brain on fire:
Uh oh! Here come the tears of anger!
I've met maybe a hundred adults like DeVito's character, in my life. I've always wondered if some people watch that scene, and envy the power Mr. Wormwood has, like "Aaah, yes, one day I'll have the privilege of belittling kids when they show good character. Mmmmmm."
Meanwhile, I still want to snap his finger off and do horrible things to him with it. I think part of me lives to spot people like Mr. Wormwood and Ms. Trunchbull, and try to make them feel small when they do this to others.
That voice does not belong in your head. You are not dumb, you are not little, you are not wrong. You can do incredible things with that human mind of yours, including imprisoning it within itself.
Maybe it's hack to reference the Allegory Of The Cave, but these are my top five cave-escapers. I saw Humpty as a man who needed help to escape the black hole of lies he grew up in, like I did. He played on some megalomaniacal Prometheus complex I didn't totally realize I had till I dealt with him.
There's a whole world out there of sweetness and light, begging for your enthusiasm, and I know a lot of people are missing it. It's easier to put the thought of it out of my mind, to get through the day. But when I stop and truly think about it, it breaks my heart and fills me with rage.
Come on out of that Chokey.
Unlearn helplessness!
See you next month! Five more books! What'll they be about?! When does it end?! I miss reading new things!
