#leifyposts

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NOOO JEAN AND BARBARA DON'T LET THEM TURN YOU INTO MARKETABLE STARDEW VALLEY CHARACTERS

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toying with a jean & kaeya idea where jean gets doused with a truth serum - kaeya initially thinks it's HILARIOUS and he's like "waittt omg so tell me the truth... did you actually like diluc's bday present or were you just trying to spare his feelings"

but then as the day wears on he starts to be like "wait that was a crazy thing to say but you can't lie right now which means you actually believe that. do you know you hold some insanely warped views of yourself" and-

you know at this point let me just write it out for you

--

He does make a point of checking the windows once they're safely ensconced in Jean's quarters, though — this may be the best entertainment he's had in a while, but Lisa is correct that it could spell disaster for Mondstadt if any miscreants got their hands on the state secrets locked away in their Acting Grand Master's head.

Jean, meanwhile, hangs her cloak up and settles herself on the couch, mouth set in the slight downturn that is her only concession to emotion. "I'm sorry I'm such a burden," she says.

Kaeya snorts, throwing himself down next to her. "You think you're a burden?"

"Yes," Jean says, and it is only when she flushes red at her own answer that he remembers her inability to lie.

"Jean," he says, and then stops, weighing his words, as she averts her eyes. "You're not— I know you're saying that because you think it's true, but you're wrong."

Jean's shoulders go up, but she only presses her lips together and refuses to speak.

It takes some careful thinking to rephrase his next question into something that the truth serum won't oblige her to respond to. "I'd like to know why you think you're a burden."

Her mouth twists, but she does take a moment to contemplate her response instead of blurting it out, which means that his rephrasing has successfully circumvented the serum's compulsion. "I regret," she says finally, slowly, "that my ineptitude has cost not only a day of my time but a day of yours. I am sorry you were obliged to accompany me."

Kaeya snorts. "You think I'd be here if I didn't want to be?"

"Yes," Jean says again, and then snaps her mouth shut, looking miserable.

Kaeya winces at his own gaffe. "Sorry," he says. "I wouldn't, though. Be here if I didn't want to, that is."

That earns him a small smile, at least. "I am, as always, grateful for your company."

It's not that he'd thought Jean was lying about liking him, really, but nevertheless the serum-induced confirmation sets an embarrassingly warm feeling under his breastbone. "I can't think of a better way to spend an afternoon than locked in a room with my boss," he teases. "And that's no lie."

Jean glowers at him. "You are—" she starts, and then seems to run into a roadblock. She wrestles with herself for a moment, trying to force words over the alchemy stilling her tongue, before settling for: "Sometimes annoyingly glib."

Kaeya laughs, delighted. "Tell me about it. I'm glad it was you rather than I who ran afoul of the alchemists today. Barbatos knows I wouldn't be able to give up lying for an entire day."

"You do tend to stretch the truth," Jean says, her smile tilting fond.

"Unlike our illustrious Acting Grand Master, who has never told a lie in her life," Kaeya says, teasing.

Jean frowns. "That's not true."

"But you always try to be honest."

She looks mildly offended. "Of course. It's only right."

"I can't imagine you ever lying," Kaeya says contemplatively. "Like, what's the worst lie you've ever told?"

He registers his mistake as the words leave his mouth, but by that time it is too late.

"When I was 12 years old, I told Barbara that our parents wouldn't get divorced because they loved us too much," Jean says. She says it clearly, as if the lie has been on the tip of her tongue for a very long time, waiting to be confessed.

Neither of them speaks for a long moment as the words settle between them.

Then Kaeya curses softly. "I'm sorry, Jeanie. I shouldn't have asked."

Unlike with her previous answers, Jean doesn't look particularly flustered — the expression on her face is the expression of one who has accepted an unchangeable fact. "It's alright," she says quietly, and reaches out to place her hand on his.

"No, it's not," Kaeya says. "And— And that's not even a lie. You were a kid — you couldn't have known."

Jean smiles a little ruefully. "The fact that I believed it didn't make it any less a lie."

Kaeya frowns, flipping his hand up to catch hers. "That doesn't make any sense. Is that really what you think?"

Jean's stare can only be described as blank. "Of course."

"But," Kaeya says, baffled, "you were trying to reassure her. You weren't lying, you were— You were 12."

Jean raises an eyebrow. "Old enough not to make promises I couldn't keep. I should have been honest with her," she adds, when Kaeya fails to respond.

"Do you think that would have made things better?" Kaeya asks, before he can remember to reword his question.

Jean opens her mouth to say "yes," then closes it again. "I don't know," she admits quietly. "But at the very least I might have been able to forgive myself for it."

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so i read gideon the ninth recently and it was AMAZING and such a fun premise and narrator and cast and i stayed up wayyy too late reading it and regretted it the next day. BUT you know what would make it even better? putting my emotional support gacha game characters into it

⚔️ jean & kaeya (jean/kaeya if you really squint)

⚔️ gideon the ninth/locked tomb au

⚔️ T-rated for cancer and necromancy (not necessarily in that order)

⚔️ 3.1k words

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

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yeah characters talking to each other is great, and characters talking to themselves is great, but have we considered characters thinking they're talking to each other when they're really just talking to themselves??

☎️ jean and kaeya (and diluc in conspicuous absence)

☎️ voicemails/college au

☎️ T-rated for drinking and smoking

☎️ 3.5k words

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

this fic is part of the roommates cinematic universe but can be read as a standalone!

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any jean/rosaria enjoyers in chat?? i pitched this for a zine and it didn't get accepted, which is great bc i don't actually know if i could have pulled it off and more importantly now i get to post the snippet i wrote

—

“I’m the last of my line,” Jean says distantly. Her eyes are fixed on Klee, splashing exuberantly in the waves of Cider Lake, blonde pigtails shimmering like gold in the sunlight. “If I don’t have children, my family name dies with me.”

Rosaria props herself up on one elbow. “Would that be so bad?”

Jean makes a noncommittal noise. “Sometimes I remember all I’ve done in service to this name, and I think perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to leave it in the past. And then sometimes I think about Gunnhildr—the first one, whose name we still bear—and I think perhaps it would.” 

She looks down at Rosaria, golden curls falling over her face as she smiles. Rosaria gives in to impulse and catches one between thumb and forefinger, watching the way the strands twist around the silver of her claws as if they never intend to let go. 

“What about you?” Jean asks. “What do you think?”

Rosaria shrugs, tugging at the lock of hair. “It’s just a surname. I don’t even have one.” 

The corners of Jean’s eyes crinkle. “You can have mine,” she says indulgently.

Then she realizes what she says and her face goes bright red. The curl of her hair falls out of Rosaria’s grasp as she jerks away, pressing her hands to her flaming cheeks. “That is— If you want! If you wanted to take my name— Assuming that we got— Even if we did get married, I wouldn’t want to assume—”

Rosaria laughs aloud. She sits up and leans towards Jean, grinning a little meanly. “What, Acting Grand Master? Fantasizing about me taking your name?”

“Don’t—” Jean protests, leaning away. “I didn’t mean—”

Rosaria leans in further, until Jean topples backwards onto the picnic mat in her attempt to avoid Rosaria’s scrutiny. This is a poor tactical decision—Rosaria sees her chance and pins her to the mat, enjoying the way Jean’s scarlet face contrasts with her luminous blue eyes. “Don’t tell me you’ve been thinking about wedding bells and bridal bouquets. Do you already have the Cathedral decor planned out?”

The way Jean’s eyes skim away from her tells Rosaria all she needs to know. “That wasn’t the point!” 

“What would your mother say if she knew you were planning on bestowing the storied Gunnhildr name on a poor orphan waif like myself?” Rosaria presses.

And here she must press too far, because Jean’s eyes snap back to hers with a startling intensity. “I don’t care what she thinks,” she proclaims, so fiercely that Rosaria’s smile drops off her face. “She can’t dictate who this name goes to. And anyway, she’d be one to talk—she married my father, after all.”

Rosaria tips her head to one side, strangely touched. “I was joking,” she says. “Your mother loves me.”

Jean snorts. “No, she doesn’t. But she wouldn’t object if I… If you really did want to take my name.”

This is far too sincere for Rosaria’s tastes, and she releases Jean and collapses back onto the mat with an affected sigh. “We’re not seriously talking about weddings right now.”

Jean laughs a little sheepishly. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” she says, rolling over to peer down at Rosaria. “But… For the record, the offer stands.”

Rosaria shakes her head. “Come on, Jean. You’d give your illustrious family name to…” She gestures down at herself. “Me?”

“Any day,” Jean says emphatically. Her hand finds Rosaria’s, slipping into it without ceremony, just as Jean herself had wormed her way into Rosaria’s life. “Any time.”

Rosaria squeezes her hand. “Any time, huh.”

Jean smiles, leaning over until the noonday sun disappears into her mess of golden curls and Rosaria can feel her breath on her lips. “Say the word, and it’s yours.”

It is at this moment that Klee gives a loud shriek and disappears underwater.

Jean lets out a muffled curse and drops Rosaria’s hand. She sprints over to the lake and Rosaria watches, amused, as she hauls Klee bodily out of the water. One of the girl’s hands is wrapped around the neck of a hapless freshwater eel; Jean convinces her to release it with some difficulty, throwing helpless glances back at Rosaria as she does so.

Trouble, both of them, Rosaria thinks... but rather a cute kind of trouble. The kind she wouldn’t mind keeping around.

Rosaria has never given much thought to family names, never having been in possession of one of her own. She’s never felt the lack of one, nor the need for one. 

But if Jean is offering hers...

Well, Rosaria could be convinced.

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hoyoverse if you're reading this i need canon eula-frederica interactions please. i will never ask anything else of you again

🍺 eula & frederica (past eula/jean)

🍺 post-canon

🍺 G-rated

🍺 5.3k words

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

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varka a braver man than me fr because if i was surrounded by a horde of teenagers i would NOT be giving them knives

🏕️ eula/jean

🏕️ pre-canon excursion (gone wrong) (not clickbait)

🏕️ T-rated

🏕️ 7.5k words

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works