okay i wanna talk about more blaseball guys because i am insane about them 💜
-megan ito. there is so much wrong with them (affectionate.) very much connected to parker macmillan's story in that they were rivals and there was definitely something going on between them, if you know what i mean 😉
megan stole the thing keeping parker from blowing up the league while they were on the same team and became unstable themself when he left. a few days later, their team got incinerated, but because they were holding an item that was keeping them from being moved from their location, they broke reality so hard they exploded real good and went directly to superhell. they were replaced by *new* megan ito, who proceeded to do THE EXACT SAME THING in season 23, stealing parker's force field and letting him loose on the league AGAIN. except they didn't get incinerated and therefore did not go to superhell like their predecessor.
-nanci grackle and mohammed picklestein: standard mad scientists. the latter, however, is very much into keeping their practices compliant with osha standards. nanci has now inherited the space mo used to occupy because he's on mo's team and mo is stuck in a black hole, and there's probably a one-sided rivalry going on between those guys because nanci has no regard for safety whatsoever.
-magi ruiz: deserves to be on here for similar reasons. while she's not a "mad scientist" in the traditional sense, she still has Issues™
anyway back in season 14 she pulled An Entire Kid out of the sound system, which impressed her cute were-hellhound gf, so she tried something Even More Impressive after the season was over and got very unlucky because that coincided with the fans' desire to do necromancy, so she pulled out Chorby Fucking Soul (more on them in a bit.) chorby got bitten by sharks a bunch and put their teammates in danger of also getting bitten by sharks. all you really need to know is magi's a character who would be a hit with fans of Women With Issues™
-chorby soul: normal guy until they died. then the devs went "hey wouldn't it be funny if they had a Really Big Soul?"
anyway when chorby came back their dummy thicc soul interacted with a new mechanic that made them get attacked by sharks over 200 times over the course of their career. also they would occasionally hit people with cursed pitches that made them more likely to get abducted by coffee aliens. we tried fixing that, and it only marked them for incineration. they would proceed to get incinerated and resurrected by the fans a couple of times before the devs locked them in a vault, where they remain to this day. poor guy.
and a couple of entities:
-coin (boss): the aforementioned capitalism god from the previous propaganda ask. nightmare corporate overlord who was obsessed with ratings and would do absolutely anything to get them, including letting sharks attack players. got her ass melted 😌
-the anchor: probably(?) a normal guy(???) who hosts the blaseball roundup, an in-character recap series about blaseball. it's very likely he was trapped in there and forced to do the roundups. if you want to watch someone's descent into madness in real time, go to the blaseball youtube channel and watch the roundups in order. hell, even just looking at the anchor's increasingly disheveled appearance in the thumbnails will do the trick!
wow so there are a lot of characters and i see why they were submitted as a group 😅 this was very entertaining to read thank you
