A/N: Your meeting with the director of the restoration board doesn’t go according to plan, causing you to question everything- your job, your judgement...even your relationship. Can Benjamin convince you that you don’t have anything to worry about?
Word Count: 4,522
Sorry, no nerd content this time.
Standing in the restoration room behind closed doors at the british Museum, shaking hands with Julia Day, you tried to recover quickly, but felt your eyes go wide and your mouth drop open. What the… Your heart leapt into your throat and you tried to force it back down into place so that you could speak. She’s the… no. Letting go of your hand, she fixed you with a smile that was almost predatory, like a cat that had finally caught a bird and was watching it flap in pain before devouring it whole. “Something wrong?” she asked finally, an air of victory in her tone that made you flinch internally. “You seem confused. You knew we were meeting today, did you not?”
Clearing your throat, you managed a smile and hope it didn’t look as forced as it felt. “No, nothing’s wrong.” That’s a lie. “I just didn’t know it was you I’d be meeting with.” She let out a small laugh and raised her eyebrows, as though she hadn’t cryptically kept her identity from you through the application and hiring process. “Did I miss a joke?” You kept the smile even though it was making you nauseous to do so.
She shrugged. “I’m just surprised that you didn’t know, is all.” How would I know? You refused to reveal your name. She dropped her arms, hands clapping her thighs and eyebrows jumping from one rung of her wrinkled forehead to the next. You kept your lips pressed tightly together as you watched her walk up to the long table in the center of your work space. “Surprised no one told you.” Told me..? Her fingers trailed along the flat surface, skirting around your tools and little glass pots of cleaner and polish and sealant. “You all seem so…” All? Your heart was pounding between your ears, dizzying your brain. What is this? She brought her eyes up to yours, narrowing them just enough to ignite a small spark of spite. “Close.” She finished her sentence with a tilt of her head as she picked up one of the sconces you’d been working on earlier. Don’t touch those. You took an instinctive step towards the table, hand jutting out in front of you as though you were going to snatch the piece away from her like a protective pitbull for handling it without gloves. “These are really something, aren’t they?” Setting the piece back down on the cloth where she found it, the woman flattened her hands on the table and leaned over them.
You cleared your throat, determined not to let your confusion or unease come through your tone. “Ms. Day,” You shook your head and spread your hands before stepping up to the table opposite where she stood. Placing your own palms across from hers, you sighed. “I’m not sure what you’re implying. The only person I was in contact with for this job before today was someone called Steven Burns from the museum’s department of donor relations.” You narrowed your own eyes and gave a curt laugh, despite the way that your insides were starting to churn. “And he and I are decidedly not close as you put it.” I can play games, too. “So I’m not sure who you’re referring to.”
Julia frowned, the glow of your work lamp casting shadows under her sunken eyelids. “Come now, dear, I’ve seen your resume.” She dropped her voice lower. “You’re smarter than that.” Turning, she continued walking around the table until she’d come back to your side. You clenched your teeth and crossed your arms over your chest, focusing on breathing steadily through your nose. “You know who I’m talking about.” No. She’s… he would have told me. You didn’t respond quickly enough so she let a short burst of air out as she shook her head. Pushing a tangled tendril of frizzy curls back, she continued. “I know my son isn’t very forthcoming with information,” she bit the words and you could taste their bitterness on your own tongue. “But I thought surely Benjamin would have told you.” You couldn’t help the twitch of your lips at the sound of her voice speaking his name, and you knew Julia caught it, her own lips curving upwards in a small but satisfied grin. “Thought it would have come up.” She paused, temporarily returning her attention to the items on the table behind her. “Unless he was worried about how you’d take it. You know,” she gestured with a twirl of her wrist, then looked over at you. “Or maybe you don’t yet, but Benjamin? He’s not to be taken at face value. There’s a lot he doesn’t share.”
You were stunned, seething and feeling small beneath the boot of the woman who stood before you, but you wouldn’t let that stop you from standing up for the man that you loved. Even if he did know… You pushed that thought away as quickly as it came. He didn’t, though. He doesn’t. You narrowed your eyes and stuck your chin out in a show of defiance. “You’re right, Ms. Day. He’s not to be taken at face value.” She nodded, then, that look of satisfaction growing on her cheshire cat face, which you were only too happy to erase with your next words. “He’s much more than that. But surely you must have figured that out by now.” Your heart was thudding uncontrollably with nervous rage. Am I about to be fired on the spot? If you were, you could think of a few more choice words to share.
Julia flinched, wrinkles gathering near her pursed lips only for a split second before she tossed her hair over her shoulder and focused her wild eyes on you. “You think you know him?” She scoffed. “You weren’t married to him. You can’t possibly know him like I do, and-”
“Ms. Day?” You refused to humanize her by using her first name, recalling what Benjamin had told you about how she’d never even taken his name after the wedding- not even adding a hyphen. Still chained to your first ex- husband too, I see. “I understand that we both know the same man.” You watched mild disappointment change the set of her brow as she realized that you were going to put up more of a fight than she thought you would. “I fail to see what Benjamin has to do with the job that I was hired for though. Now, if you’d like to go over my portfolio, or ask me anything about-”
She took a step forward then that was almost a lunge, barking out her words like a rabid animal. “I’ve seen your resume, seen your portfolio, like I told you. I know you can do this job, just like I know there is a stack of other portfolios in Steven’s office that represents dozens of others who could be here instead of you.” She came closer, a more controlled motion this time. “I don’t need to ask you a thing about this job. You’re here for one reason and one reason only-”
“To point out that you forgot to detail the corrosion on piece S-327?” You cocked your head to the side and swallowed the emotions you were feeling, letting them fall into your stomach to dissolve into the roiling acid Julia had churned up. “You know, Benjamin mentioned that you were a conservator once.” It was finally her turn to be completely caught off guard. He tells me things, you crazy old bat. “I know it was,” you raised one arm and gestured in a circular motion, “Years ago,” her nostrils flared and though you were still reeling from this entire confrontation, you were glad that you’d gotten to her. “But I would have thought that even back then you’d have been required to include corrosion and other such damage in your notations. You did do the notations that were sent to me, didn’t you?” Her face dropped completely and you knew you’d won this hand. “Unless, and this would be...wildly unprofessional for someone in your position, but I can’t see how you could have made that mistake, unless you were hoping I’d miss it, too and that I’d somehow boggle the restoration.” You dug for the strength to smile at her. “But the thing is, Ms. Day, restorers? We’re all conservators, too. So your notes and your pictures,” shoddily prepared as they were, “They don’t scratch the surface of what I do. But the surface of that sconce that you neglected to note? I caught it. I caught it before it was too late to save the piece, or the person’s job whose responsibility it was to document.”
You watched as the well-worn scowl retreated and her lips came together in a thin line. For a few agonizingly long moments all you could hear was the buzz of the lightbulbs overhead and the far off sounds of conversation from another office. You felt yourself tense up, coiling like a cornered viper, waiting to see how she’d respond to your counter. Just when you started to wonder if she was going to speak again at all, she addressed you using your last name in a quiet hiss that sent a chill slithering down your spine. “This is a six week assignment.” A measure of time that once felt like it would pass impossibly quickly now felt like a lengthy punishment. You recalled your words to Benjamin when he worried about how his memories with Julia in the museum might taint your experience. Don’t let her ruin this. But here she was in the flesh, trying her hardest to ruin not only your time here, but also, it seemed, your relationship with him. “I hope you know what you’ve gotten yourself into.” Do I? Before you could even reprimand yourself for giving her another inch of space in your mind, she was striding passed you, stopping at the door to spin back and deliver one last blow. “I’ll see you Wednesday for a status update.”
You didn’t move or breathe until you heard the door to the hallway open and shut, echoing in the nearly empty wing of offices. Once you were sure that she was gone and you were alone, you let a rush of air free from your lungs in a shuddering gasp. The whole confrontation - meeting, it was supposed to be a meeting, not- left you dizzy. This isn’t… this was the farthest thing from… Six weeks of that? Six weeks of her and… You inhaled shakily. He didn’t know. There’s no way. He’d have told me. But the seed had already taken root in the fertile soil of your brain, and you knew that even though you didn’t believe her, you had to ask Benjamin. Wincing, you imagined the look on his face when you brought it up, and though you hated the idea of needing verbal confirmation from him, you knew it was the only way to weed out the venomous thing she’d planted. I don’t doubt you, B, I just need to hear you say it.
You felt the hot sting of unwelcome tears burning in the corners of your eyes as the rest of what the woman had said sunk in. She only picked me so she could… this isn’t about my qualifications, this is… I’m not here because I deserve to be. I’m here because she… Squeezing your eyelids shut you refused to let yourself cry until you were out of the building. Glancing at the clock you saw that it was after 6pm which was the latest you were required to stay as per the terms of your contract. You’d planned to stay later, wanting to get as much time in on your first day as you could. But the realization that this accomplishment was a sham felt like a kick to the stomach, and you suddenly needed to be anywhere but where you stood. You quickly closed up jars, rinsed off brushes and organized your tools, slipping them into their case with a sad sigh. Slinging your bag over your shoulder, you wiped at your eyes to remove any stray wetness before interacting with security. Looking back at the room as your hand hovered over the light switch, you couldn’t help but feel as lost as the treasures before you. Flicking it off, you plunged the room and your thoughts into darkness and hurried for the anonymity of the bustling sidewalk to let the dam break and your emotions flow.
.. .. .. .. .. .. ..
Perfect. He smiled as he adjusted the loose bouquet of tulips in the glass vase he’d borrowed from the hotel. Bright pink, peach and yellow bell shaped blossoms fell naturally atop long green leaves and stems. Her favorite. The woman at the desk had been only too happy to lend the receptacle when she caught him trying to press the button to call a lift, balancing the bouquet, a bottle of champagne, and a grocery bag full of berries and chocolates. He’d explained to her that it was a big day as she helped him reconfigure the items in his arms while he waited for the elevator to arrive. “What’s the occasion?” She’d asked, handing the wrapped bouquet back to him.
He beamed. “The woman of my dreams landed the job of hers and she started today.” And I can’t wait to see her face light up when she tells me about it.
The hotel employee mirrored his grin, letting out a long “Aw,” and promised to send up a lovely vase for the flowers and a full ice bucket for the champagne. She passed her congratulations to you through Benjamin, and wished the two of you a wonderful evening. It will be. He thanked her for her help and continued on up to get the room ready.
It was nearing 6:30 when he finally finished. Having accepted the vase and bucket from the room service attendant, he arranged everything on the dresser, including the tray of sweets and fruit. Standing back, he smiled again, imagining your reaction. “Benjamin, you didn’t need to do all of this!” You’d laugh, cheeks turning a shade that would rival the blossoms and berries as you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. “Of course I did, love,” he’d say, scooping you up only to dump you on the bed a moment later. “And that’s just the beginning.”
For so long before he met you, Benjamin felt like he’d been running. From the past, from the future, from the inevitability that nothing gold can stay. But lately he’d been overwhelmed with the feeling of beginnings, even though you were coming up on your first anniversary together. He’d accepted that he was done with beginnings, done with good things outside of academia. But then you came along and changed everything. Suddenly every day became the start of something new, and suddenly that didn’t terrify him. Because we’re in it together. He plucked a raspberry from the tray and sampled it, daydreaming about your next new beginning.
The mechanical whir of the lock followed by the slip of your card key being retracted from the slot caught him off guard. Huh, thought she would have called to let me know she was on her way. Because neither of you had conventional work hours and never knew when you’d be done for the day, you’d formed the habit of calling or sending a message to let the other know when to expect you back. He chalked it up to excitement making you forget, and turned toward the door, still chewing the berry he’d popped into his mouth a moment ago.
“Hey,” he took a step towards you, eyes narrowed and forehead furrowed. What’s this? The excitement he felt as he readied the room for your return vanished in a cold rush as a pit started forming in his gut the second he saw the salty streaks on your face, cutting through the bronze dust coating your cheeks. Why is she..? You closed the door, wordlessly flipping the lock as he took another step. This isn’t how I... “Hey,” he said again, adding your name as he raised his right arm and reached for you. Despite having been together for just shy of a year, Benjamin had only ever seen you this upset once or twice. He couldn’t fathom why today of all days would end up being one of those times. His hand closed gently around your arm, fingers sliding up your bicep as his thumb tucked into the crook of your elbow. Looking up, your red rimmed and puffy eyes met his and his heart clenched at the sadness he saw there. What’s happening?
You still hadn’t said a word, and as you slipped your arms around his waist, Benjamin realized you hadn’t even made a sound. Not a whimper, not a sniff, not a shuddering intake of breath. Something’s wrong, something… this is… He tripped over his thoughts as he wrapped you up and pulled you into his body. This was supposed to be her dream. One hand came up to stroke your hair, but before his palm made contact he felt your chin move against his chest and he froze as you spoke. “Tell me you didn’t know.” Your voice was quiet and thin, a tinge of defeat in your tone that he’d never heard before only worrying him further.
What is she talking about? His head spun as he tried and failed to answer that question. Throat dry from the absolute shock of seeing you in the exact opposite state he expected you to be in, he swallowed and let the hand that was headed for your hair fall to your shoulder. I saw her a few hours ago and she was fine...happy...I… With a soft push he peeled you away from himself so that he could look at you; so that you could look at him and see the truth in his eyes. He shook his head. “Didn’t know what, love? What’s happened?” You winced, squeezing your eyes tightly shut as you tried to bury your face in his shirt again, but he stopped you. “Hey, no, come on,” he brought his hand up to tilt your face towards him before leaning in to kiss the crest of your cheek. “Please,” he whispered against your skin, “please tell me what happened.”
You opened your eyes then and fresh tears rolled down the tracks that had been laid by those that came before. “I’m sorry, Benjamin, I… She said that you…” What? Why is she apologizing… wait...who said… “She said that you knew, but I should have known she was lying, I…” Oh, no. No, no, no. He still wasn’t sure exactly what had happened, but that pit that started forming in his stomach tore wide open, filling with acidic venom that could only come from one source. Julia. “It’s her, Benjamin...she’s...she’s the one that…”
She’s the director. His heart sank as he ran through the implications of that realization, looking down at you. And she wanted it to look like I was keeping that a secret. “I swear I didn’t know,” He promised, pushing away the initial hurt of your momentary disbelief. It’s not her fault. He knew how well-versed in guilt and manipulation his ex-wife was, knew that she was trying to create a rift between the two of you. Instinctively he tightened the arm that was still around your body. I won’t let her do that. Letting you tuck your face against his chest again, he rested his chin atop your head, the smell of paint thinner and polish mixing with your almond scented shampoo as he inhaled.
“I know. I knew she was lying but I,” you took a shaky breath that made him ache.
“Shh,” Replacing his chin with his lips he laid a soft kiss to your hair. “It’s alright, you knew she was lying.” You trust me, I know you do. “She’s… she’s good at tricking people.” He winced. She had me fooled. “Good at hurting people.” The fact that she’d hurt you was unacceptable though, and right next to the ache he felt from seeing you this way, a swelling anger was taking up residence. She won’t get away with this.
“She…” You pulled back, wiping your eyes and looking up at him. “Benjamin, she only picked me for this job to get to you.” You shook your head and he saw your eyes go dim, the defeat in your tone making its way into them. “I didn’t earn it, I don’t deserve-”
“Don’t do that.” He cut you off, not willing to let you go down that road. He shook his head and locked his gaze with yours, shifting his hands to your arms. Taking a few steps backwards, he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled you down next to him. Leaning in, he brushed a strand of hair that had escaped your bandana back and out of the way, fingertips lingering on your skin. “Don’t do that to yourself. You deserve this. You have every right to be there.” He saw you take a breath as though you were about to start a long string of protest, but he stopped you again. “I know you think that...that the only reason you were chosen for this is because of what Julia told you today.”
You shrugged and nodded. “It is the only reason.”
No. “She may have suggested you to the board,” he let his hands slide down your arms until they met yours, and pulled your palms into his lap. “But they had to review your portfolio. They had to pass it on to the Museum director.” Julia likes to think she’s more important than she is. “There’s no way this decision was made solely by her.” He let go of one of your hands and used it to tilt your chin so that you had to focus on his next words. “She doesn’t matter that much. It’s not some tiny exhibit on display in a broom cupboard.” He felt some relief as he saw some light come back to your eyes. “This is one of the most important historical finds of the decade, at one of the largest, most prestigious institutions in the world. There’s no way you’d have gotten this job if you didn’t deserve it.” No matter how much money she throws at it, she can’t buy that much power.
You sighed as his fingers left your face, and you leaned your body into his. Benjamin instantly wound his arm around you. “I guess.”
“You guess?” He squeezed his hand where it rested near your hip before tugging you down to lay on the mattress with him, both of your legs still bent and hanging over the side of the bed. A small gasp of surprise left your lips in the form of his name, and despite everything he was feeling, the sound lightened his heart the slightest bit. “Well, that’s fine that you guess, but I know.” You turned your face towards his and he closed the distance, kissing you softly. “I know no one deserves this more than you. I know you’re the best for this job.” I know I’m going to have some words for Julia… He touched his forehead to yours and brought his hand up to untie the knot in your bandana, letting your hair tumble free. Tossing the green fabric aside, he pulled you even closer, until you were resting your head on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry that she’s doing this to you.” That she’s doing this to us. “This is your dream, and she’s not going to ruin it for you.” He shook his head even though you couldn’t see. “Don’t give her that power. Nothing she said has any truth to it at all, she’s just…” he sighed and felt you adjust your position, turning on your hip and laying a hand on his abdomen. “She’s jealous and... vindictive.” His top lip curled on the last word. “She’s the complete opposite of you, and she knows that. She knows she could never measure up to you.” Not in a single sense.
Your tears had subsided, no longer soaking into his shirt or staining your face, but he knew he hadn’t completely turned the tide, knew that it would take some time for you to process everything he’d told you, everything she’d told you, and how you were feeling about it all. He knew it would mean a few rocky weeks, and while he hated that, he knew that as long as you kept trusting him and as long as he kept reinforcing that trust, that you both would be alright. I’ve never had that before, this is… he looked down at you. This is it. Benjamin knew that someday this would be behind the two of you, and that there would be bright new beginnings on the horizon. He held you until the sky turned a deep indigo outside the windows, the room silent aside from the occasional clink of the ice in the champagne chiller melting and shifting. He would have stayed there with you all night, intermittently leaving kisses or whispering assurances against your skin, but eventually you spoke, breaking the silence. “You got me flowers…”
He’d nearly forgotten, entirely focused on soothing you and swallowing down the hurt and anger he’d felt at first. “Oh...yeah, I…”
“Tulips are my favorite.” I know. You sat up, leaning on your elbows and glancing first at the flowers and then back at him. Even in the state you were in you were gorgeous. She puts those flowers to shame. “They’re beautiful, Benjamin, thank you.”
He sat up too, twisting to his side to face you. “This is all going to work out, you know that, right?”
You nodded, lips pressed together to keep from crying again, but this time the hopeless defeat was gone from your eyes. “Yeah,” you said, lifting one hands to trace the top of his ear with your fingers. “I know it will.” Leaning in, you brought your lips to his, his hands going to your waist as you kissed him. “It will.” It wasn’t a fix all. He knew that you were still upset, still hurt and disappointed by how this new beginning was shaping up, but he knew that as long as you were a team, there was nothing you couldn’t overcome. And I’ll always be on your team. “I love you,” you whispered against his lips, slipping your shoes from your feet and curling back down over top of him.
“So much,” he responded, holding you once more. So, so much. Tomorrow he’d figure out what to do about Julia; how to respond, how to protect you from her wrath. But tonight would be this- not the champagne, celebration and laughter he’d imagined, but something deeper, something more long lasting. Something good, even on the bad days.
please let me know if you would like to be added or removed! (and if you’ve already let me know and i didn’t make it happen…oops! i’m sorry and disorganized.)
