#lesstobemore

[jsydbrantley]

The emptiness in between*

I read the last of your words a thousand times over like a song on repeat one they burned into my heart I made each one significant And magnified their meaning together But you had yet to respond to my reply I waited as each second passed It was almost unbearable because for me this isn’t about sending text messages this is about who I am Did you wake up and suddenly realize The significance of my size? Or did you find someone else With prettier eyes? I stare at my screen And the emptiness in between Your last words and your next words Have so much potential to leave me hurt I want to give up I want to scream I know how crazy I must seem Lost here in the emptiness in between

20180715

-Bee

[jsydbrantley]

Fat girl doubts

I’m holding my breath

Now that he’s really seen me

I’m already ready for his next move

This is about the time he leaves

I’m listening to the words he says

But I don’t believe

I’ve heard them all before

But words aren’t what I need

I’m looking at myself in the mirror

And I don’t recognize that woman

There’s a man who says she’s beautiful

And I’m just waiting for him to run

I’m alone but I’m with someone

And he doesn’t understand

He can’t stay here anymore

And he finally lets go of my hand

[jsydbrantley]

Today y’all for the first time in a long time I finally did something I haven’t... I exercised my butt off! I know I’ve lost a lot of weight since last year by just changing the way I eat, but it’s about time I got way more physically active that I’ve been. I tried to a while back ago but I injured my ankle and knee. Today... no excuses. I jumped in head first... feet first really. So there was no Should...Would...Could... only DID!!! . . . I got lots of people relying on me, to be a beacon of inspiration or something like that... I don’t know about that, but really I’m relying on myself. I cant let myself down this time! * * * #favequote #jennakutcher #shedid #idid #notgivingup #keeponkeepingon #winnerscircle #sheisstrong #lesstobemore #losingweight #weightlossjourney #jsydsjourney #dontgiveup #motivationmonday (at Rankin, Mississippi)

[jsydbrantley]

I’ve been through it. That relationship where someone takes everything from you that you feel like you’re worthless afterwords. It’s taken me a long time to convince myself I’m worth it again. So the last thing I want to do is surround myself with people who make me feel that way. . . . I love to be sarcastic, have friendly competition, and joke around. But in the end when it comes to my friends wellbeing, I want the best for them. Don’t get me wrong, if we’re playing a game of Monopoly, I want you to go bankrupt! But in life, I want you to be rich! . . . I need people in my life who want the same for me. On this weight loss journey, accomplishments should be celebrated. Not greeted with harmful sarcasm. I’ve had real harmful wishes thrown my way enough, I don’t need the fake ones too. So if you can’t do that for me, how can I do it for you? Again! Surround yourself with people who make you feel worthy of being your very best person you can be and don’t make you feel guilty for falling short when you’re not quite there yet but encourage and motivate you to keep growing! * * * #jsydsjourney #jsydspoetry #thestruggleisreal #writers_creed #writerscreed #writersfollowwriters #illustrans #teacup13 #lesstobemore #weightlossjourney #fatgirlproblems #worthyoflove #selflovefirst #poetryriot #poetryportal #blotchedpoems #thejourneyisthedestination #domesticviolencesurvivor #besupportive #dontbethatguy

[jsydbrantley]

Broken People by Logic & Rag’nBone Man

20180622

I can’t go backwards. I can’t go forwards. My purgatory was built on your words. Fat, ugly, lazy. FAT. UGLY. LAZY. Everything is just a little bit hazy. I can’t see straight through all the hate. You don’t even know but you show such a display of false insight you think you have to be right. I don’t have a home because you sit on your throne of judgement and self-righteousness. You think you broke me but can’t you see I’ve been broken, rollin’ on the highway of a let down since my feet hit the ground. It’s a real shame you throw the blame because I know you’ve got some claim to your own hurt inside you deny. You think the strong go along with the crowd, always proud of the reflection on the screen. But real strength is built between the cracks of a broken soul, never whole, but in control of the words they say. BROKEN. UNIQUE. STRONGER.

[jsydbrantley]

Used some fresh spicy mix micro greens from @alittletimetogrow I got at @townoflivingston farmers Market last week on a veggie salad from Osaka in Flowood and it was so delicious!!!! #eatlocal #freshveggies #28daydetox #healthyliving #jsydsjourney #lesstobemore #townoflivingston #livingstonfarmersmarket (at Osaka Japanese Restaurant)

[jsydbrantley]

Dating is so incredibly hard. I’ve always been able to exude confidence, but when it comes to my weight and men, confidence is more difficult to come by. . . . As a woman of weight I’ve somehow convinced myself for a hot, fit, charming, intelligent man to have interest in me... something MUST be wrong with him, right? . . . Society has pounded it into our brains that fit, modelesque people belong together. . . . Pardon my French, but I hope this is bullshit. I just want to have the chance to meet and fall in love with someone without worrying with all these physical standards the world tells us we have to live by. . . . I mean, look at the selfie. That’s me! I’m actually quite modest, but that face belongs to a beautiful woman who happens to weigh 248 pounds right now. She loves to write poetry, talks too much sometimes, wants to save the princess in super MARIO at least once, hopes to inspire at least one soul before she dies, treats her cats like children, finds it hard to be wrong but is willing to be so especially when truth and justice win... she’s beautiful and for all the weight she... I carry on the outside, I’ve got so much room to love someone. . . . So I can relax, that exceptionally handsome man that sends me a smiling picture everyday, really does like me. He really does care. Not just about the face in the picture, but the body behind it. * * * #datingishard #datingadvice #fatgirlproblems #fatgirlrant #fatgirlrant #jsydswritings #jsydsjourney #lesstobemore #lovemeforme

[jsydbrantley]

Alright let’s be honest, if I did this, this person would probably have to sign one of those things people sign before they do something insane like jump off a plane or bunji jump, like “I’m not responsible if you die,” kind of thing. 😂😂😂. . . . Seriously though. The hardest thing when starting this journey to be a healthier version of you is making the decision to eat healthier foods. Believe me, when I talk to God, I’ve asked Him more than once (not joking) why the bad stuff tastes so good? He didn’t give me a direct answer, more of an experiential one. . . . As I began putting more and more healthy foods into my diet, when I would eat something not-so-healthy, like one of my faves, fried cheese curds, I would get sick. And suddenly they didn’t taste so good anymore. The thought of them now makes me queasy. . . . Alright, alright there are times when I can indeed handle a bite or two and still appreciate them, but I can’t eat the whole plate + a burger + a milkshake like I used too. I have to have balance. . . . Remember, eat right most of the time so you can eat what you want some of the time. * * * #dangerousjobs #favequote #jsydsquotes #fatgirlproblems #healthyeating #eatinghealthier #jsydsjourney #lesstobemore #weightlossjourney #thisishard #extremeweightloss #healthierversionofme