#lethal enforcer

[o5-10]

[childproofedcapsonheranswers]

If anyone needs me, I can be reached by Batphone in Room 505 of the Tranquillity Base Hotel + Casino.

All credit for creation of these outstanding images goes to Lethal Enforcer, who is by the way, trying to get a commercial artist to create that first keychain, which is his outstanding prototype. Interested? Head over to the forum and let him know! 🗝🌚

[o5-10]

I am realizing there is very little in here that is not hilarious. I have omitted some mostly irrelevant chatter, though there are sections that could have been omitted, but I felt they added flavor. As such, I will be placing it below a performative clearance barrier. Be aware that it is fairly lengthy, but it is also a conversation I look back on fondly, despite the context.

O5-6 "Cowboy": Youre welcome. And yes. You owe me a pair of boots for that anyways.

Chaos Insurgency: Like hell we do. We had to remove a spur from somebody's eye

O5-10 "Janus": Astounding.

O5-10 "Janus": Did they keep their eye?

Code Bastard: Well, are you going to give it back?

Chaos Insurgency: Both eye and spur were fucked

O5-10 "Janus": Sucks for that person.

Chaos Insurgency: Not to mention five armoured vehicles and an entire three floors of the hotel

Chaos Insurgency: And untold casualties. You owe us, Six. We're coming to collect

O5-10 "Janus": I'd ask how you managed that, but then I remembered what cataclysmic screw ups you are.

Code Bastard: Well, you owe him his boot spur back.

Chaos Insurgency: Fuck you Jan, you can talk once you've survived an entire battalion of airdropped fully armoured MTFs wielding RPGs with Six at point yeehawing his way through the ballroom window

O5-10 "Janus": Okay.

O5-10 "Janus": Hey, Six, dispatch all of the combat ready MTFs to my location immediately so I can tell the Insurgency how much they suck.

O5-10 "Janus": I don't have a ballroom, so that last bit isn't really possible.

Code Bastard: Buy one

Code Bastard: You have time to have one built. It’s not like the Chaos Insurgency’s dumb ass will ever find you.

O5verthinking: Hey, what the fuck is going on.

O5-6 "Cowboy": You can collect your next ass whoopin anytime you want CI. This whole bussiness about shit happenin while I was aways got me antsy.

O5-10 "Janus": The Insurgency is existing, O5ver.

O5verthinking: That's never good.

O5-10 "Janus": I don't think any further explanation is needed.

O5verthinking: Let us guess, they also think they're special.

O5-10 "Janus": I don't think it counts as a guess when it's a known fact they're like that.

O5verthinking: Quite fair.

O5verthinking: Everyone thinks they're special, anyway. Everyone thinks their own particular grudge against the Foundation is just as important to us as it is to them.

O5verthinking: And ninety-nine percent of the time? Newsflash, asshole: it isn't.

Chaos Insurgency: Quit acting cool, Oh Five. Maybe it wasn't precisely your council, but remember all that squawking that happened way back when the schism happened for real? Music to the ears.

O5verthinking: What's that? We can't quite make out what you're saying over the sound of an organization revolving entirely around being a nuisance to us.

Chaos Insurgency: Eat an entire ass

O5-6 "Cowboy": The only thing the Insurgency'll be eating is shoe leather when i kick their teeth in.

Chaos Insurgency: Fuck off Cowboy. You'll get yours.

Code Bastard: They’ll get their spur back?

Chaos Insurgency: NO

Code Bastard: How nice of you

Chaos Insurgency: SHUT UP ABOUT THE SPUR ALREADY

Chaos Insurgency: IT REALLY FUCKING HURT OKAY

Code Bastard: So, are you going to keep it then?

Chaos Insurgency: PISS OFF

O5verthinking: How romantic.

Code Bastard: Are. You. Keeping. The. Spur. ?

Chaos Insurgency: Beta Operative Persimmon has been removed from the keyboard.

Code Bastard: Well tell them to come back and answer my question

Chaos Insurgency: The spur is still in our possession. New plan. Yes, we are going to return it.

Code Bastard: How nice of you

Chaos Insurgency: We melt it down, recast it into a bullet, and shoot Six in the smug fucking mug

O5verthinking: Please tell Beta Operative Persimmon that romantically pursuing any iteration of Cowboy will not lead to anything good.

O5-10 "Janus": How do you intend to exact vengeance on Six?

Chaos Insurgency: Wh

Code Bastard: That would be an awfully terrible bullet.

Chaos Insurgency:Nobody is pursuing that fucking, that fucking jerk wad

O5-11 "The Father of Lies": Nobody's doing what now?

Code Bastard: That’s so good for Nobody, I’m proud of them.

O5-6 "Cowboy": Wow, I didnt realize the Insurgency had such top dollar insults.

O5-10 "Janus": I didn't want your master plan for killing my coworker.

O5verthinking: Oh no, I've been called a jerk wad. Whatever shall I do –O5-6

O5-10 "Janus": We don't need to know what it is, because history shows, it will fail, and we likely won't have to do much for it to crumble.

Chaos Insurgency: We only wish we had a special bullet for each of you.

Chaos Insurgency: But Six comes first.

O5-6 "Cowboy": Awwww its like an arts and crafts project how sweet. They do care.

Code Bastard: Giving gifts. How sweet.

Chaos Insurgency: WE CARE TO ENSURE THAT YOU FUCKING DIE LIKE A DOG

Chaos Insurgency: JERK. WAD.

O5-10 "Janus": Oh, I'm hurt.

O5-10 "Janus": I don't get a special bullet.

O5-10 "Janus": I'm not as special as Six to the Insurgency, whatever will I do.

[o5-10]

I'm not even going to question why this is a thing that exists.

[o5-10]

I decided I will post these as they are already here, O5-2 never got made into an emoji, she's too nice for that, I suppose.

[o5-10]

Like angry dark cloud.

--Aether, Public Relations

[o5-10]

({visible to everyone})

Ten pokes listlessly at its dinner, despite it being food it would ordinarily enjoy. Certainly, it had been distracted from the nightmarishly overwhelming thoughts, for a while, but it knows Six isn't going to be satisfied until he learns specifically what to avoid. The problem is, to it, the situation is so specific, it's hard to put to words.

"Ya feelin okay?"

"I didn't answer you right, earlier."

He blinks, "Ya answered fine? Sure I got questions, but I was gonna wait til ya at least finished dinner."

"I don't have much appetite, but I don't know how to answer the questions, either."

"Ya don't know what I'm gonna ask, do ya?"

"I have my reasonable guesses."

"Fair 'nough. May I ask what reminded you of the thing?"

"Ah--but it's hyperspecific and unlikely to come up again if I just--" it cuts itself off, "do you remember I said I lived a bad life in my sleep?"

He nods, "okay?"

"Hard to forget it when everyone in it is everyone I have to see. Anyway, you just...there was a point when...so I wasn't eating and she...well I was eating but suboptimally. Anyway, she came in and shoved something, I don't recall what it was, at me, and ordered I eat it, and...your tone wasn't the same or anything, but...I don't know it was the same shape with a softer coat of paint."

He holds back the rage he feels for whatever forces did that to it, and for entities that do not exist at all, and smiles at them, "Alright, I'll remind ya a different way. 'Fore ya start sayin how that ain't necessary and that ya can jus remember on ya own, I wanna say that I don't mind none, and I know things slip ya mind sometimes. Ain't nothin wrong with ya that it happens, but ain't realistic t'xpect that ta change."

"You aren't mad?"

"Not at you."

It hums uncertainly.

"Like I said, ya didn't do it on purpose. Yer gonna work on it, I know, an I'm gonna work on approachin ya better," he taps his finger on the table, "say, did Glass ever call ya back?"

"He did. I see him on Wednesday. I told him it wasn't that urgent."

Six sighs, "better'n nothin."

[o5-10]

"You deserve better than me."

({This one works for today so this specific one I'm doing about that bffbfbfb, so this specific one is canon but others won't be, necessarily})

"Did I do somethin?"

"Yes, but no, but--"

"What was it? I don't want you to feel unsafe. Please?"

"But it's not wrong, my reaction was. I'll do better next time and it--"

"Shh, listen, I don't for a second think you reacted that way on purpose. Did I startle you when I came ta remind ya ta eat, or?"

"No, I just--reminded me of something," they looked down, "you don't deserve this."

"Honey, don't start that. You ought to be safe and heard, an I wanna be able ta give ya that, an I try, an maybe I ain't perfect at it, but shit, ya gotta let me try."

"But you deserve--"

"Ain't about deserves."

They opened their mouth to protest but found nothing to say. They grumbled, instead.

"Listen, sometimes I feel it, too, that everythin I've done, and will do, means I ain't what you are worthy of, but the thing bout that is, I don't get to make that choice. Whether or not I think you should want someone who is somehow better, you decided, right?"

"I don't mind all that about you, no."

"Right, so, you decided I'm what you want. Let me decide the same?"

"You should be with someone good at these things, though."

"Have been. I know what that's like, an sure, it'd be nice if you could say the l word when we ain't, ah, otherwise occupied, but things like that ain't worth losing the whole that is you. i could say you should be with the kind of person I imagine others would see you as bein attracted to, too. Could assume that you might be happier with someone calmer, more even-keeled. Maybe someone who doesn't get as tripped up when ya decide ya need ta dance round a topic, and y'ain't had that, but would it be worth it, ta ya, to gamble on that?"

"...no..."

"Mmhmm, an that's just it, you ain't what you do for me. Y'ain't replaceable. You're you. I know you think there ain't much you left, but there is. I see it, and I love it for what it is. Yer a tool, then I'm a toy gun. It don't work that way. You bring things to the table. Things that only you can. An maybe we both deserve somethin, but we also deserve to choose what we want. Ya think I deserve somethin ya don't know how ta provide, that's okay, ya can learn, or not, because I don't mind if ya don't, but you've learned a lot already."

"You shouldn't have to worry."

"Sweetheart, don't pretend I'm the only one who worries. Incoming." Before they could fully form a response, his arms were around their shoulders, his face burrowed into the crook of their neck, "Calm?"

They nodded.

"I'm gonna show ya somethin, ya don't gotta love it, but ya gotta focus on it, okay?"