There's just something so delicious about Erwin losing Levi (missing or dead; temporarily or permanently) and I think it's because, well, first of all we already saw what losing Erwin did to Levi and I believe they are different in a way. Levi's character mostly revolves around losing people and still fighting, he probably knows he will outlive the people he loves and cares about and he accepts that, he's used to losing people yet he is also a very emotional character who can't stop himself from caring and loving despite that. And at the end it still huts and crushes him. On the other hand, I believe Erwin successfully managed to distance himself from other people to some degree otherwise he couldn't do what he does. He is still upset and it still hurts when he loses soldiers especially friends like Mike, but this distance he created helps him to deal with his grief and guilt better. BUT I think Erwin really believed that Levi is too skilled to die in action, that he would outlive them all and this might be the reason he let Levi get close to him, allowed himself to let his guard down around Levi, accepted his love and loved him in return. Because even though he knew the others like Hange and Mike longer it always felt like he wasn't that close to them compared to his relationship with Levi. Maybe it's just me, I don't know. So, anyway, it feels more mysterious and interesting to guess Erwin's reaction to losing Levi, when the unthinkable happens, even if it's temporary (even better because I have a weak heart). I don't know, it's weird that Levi's more emotional yet he deals with loss more... internally? (Excuse my poor English) A part of me believes that Erwin's grief can be more... destructive? Does this make sense lol Also, are there any fics like that? I'm sorry if you got an ask like this before and like I said forgive my poor English :)
Anon, you have absolutely nothing to apologise for. You expressed this so beautifully and almost broke my heart in the process. Erwin's death almost destroyed me, but the thought of Erwin losing Levi is just devastating. You're right about Erwin dealing with grief and loss by closing himself off from these emotions. It's only to Levi that he shows the true depths of his despair. This is just one reason why Kamiya Hiroshi described Levi as the last stronghold of Erwin's humanity. I also think you're right that perhaps Erwin knew that Levi would outlive them all and that's why he opened his heart to him.
@huxandthehound’s has written a stunning fic that captures these emotions and the awful impact of Levi's death on Erwin. It's called Like a God, Raged and @lordirrelevant has created this beautiful art for it.
I've also written a few versions of this scenario here:
A Greater Death Beautiful Broken ETA @rodio_se_mis on twitter has also written a "reverse Return to Shiganshina" fic that deal with the ramifications of Levi's death on Erwin, and which was inspired by Kamiya Hiroshi's quote.
No Exit by Mysh_mysh
