okok. so. soap/johnny’s a pretty understanding guy. he cracks jokes, but is nice enough to tone them down and comfort someone if they’re upset by it. he’s got a warm smile that makes you just feel safe, yknow? hell, he even managed to befriend simon, the ghost.
which, is why, you can’t help but hate him.
it all feels so fake. maybe because it’s all lines that you’ve had to rehearse saying, practicing to pretend to care about what someone did on their day off or why they seem more tired than usual. he’s always so enthusiastic, you just can’t imagine being that interested in talking to other people.
it just angers you even more when he starts talking to you as well. because when he does, he doesn’t make you perform that normal behaviour that people still think is odd when it comes from your mouth. he notices it, that thing inside you that everyone calls wrong, and he doesn’t poke or prod at it. he asks about you, your hobbies, your life, and doesn’t get offended when you don’t ask about his. it’s on cold dark missions together that he talks about himself and his own life.
eventually, you do ask him what his days off or afternoon was like when you’re both at base, and he answers with a smile. he knows you don’t truly care about the things that made him happy or upset, (not in the way most people do, at least), but he notices how you do small things like make him his coffee or save him a seat in a meeting so that he’ll talk to you more later.
you hate how johnny lets you care for him in your own way, even though he knows you don’t feel any real empathy for him. how on earth could he know you and all of your boredom, the whispered jokes in the halls about psychopathy, your lack of ‘care’, and still want to be close to you?