MY RESPONSE WHUMP TO @urlocalllama: This lfls bit has been fucking with me for a bit- the mental pain of being rescued. Green accepted the idea he was a failure partially because his brothers (to his knowledge) didn’t come for him, that they preferred him gone. But then to find out they DID look, they DID care, and still LOVED him?? That’s painful and confusing. Because, if they really loved him…
“What took so long? Are they lying to spare my feelings? Is this a sick joke? Don’t you know how long he waited for you? How many hopeful nights, he spent starring up through the bars, nursing his wounds, counting the hours until he was once again thrown back into an excruciating death match? Every night, that hope of you crumbled away bit by bit, as I slowly took shape. The hope that his brothers would come save him, chipping and peeling like a scab until the sting of old blood solidified into what I am.
I can’t understand, I can’t- you say you were always looking, but you took too long. You found only Leo’s living corpse and the stranger who remains. If you loved him enough, you would have saved him, right? - But…no- that doesn’t make sense either. How could I say they didn’t love him when they’ve only met what’s left of him with kindness? Why can’t I understand this? I thought I understood, but- They didn’t have to treat my wounds, they didn’t have to remove the collar or forgo punishment for disappearing - Why aren’t you punishing me? I made you upset, didn’t I? Please, make it make sense- just hit me, yell, scream at me-ANYTHING!! I can’t understand…
Is it really possible you couldn’t save him when you tried your best? That’s the only thing it could be that makes sense, maybe- But fuck, I couldn’t even save him, and I was right there. I failed too. I was supposed to be the best, that’s what Draxum said- I was supposed to be the leader- if I couldn’t save Leo, how could I expect his brothers to? What’s wrong with me? How could I think they hated him- Of course they love Leo, of course they do, it’s all they’ve been saying! Reminding me every second I’m awake how much they care- how could I even begin to think otherwise? I’m such an idiot- a Stupid. STUPID-FUCKING-IDIOT— Draxum really was right. Am I really that useless on my own? I couldn’t even tell that they were treating me with love-
Fuck, I really am a failure, aren’t I?How could they love me now? What happens when they figure that out? They don’t know yet, or if they do, they’re denying it. They insist on calling me Leo, but the way they all look at me- I know they know. How much longer until they cast me aside? I’m just the stranger they brought home- I’m not the one they’ve been searching for- I’m just the stranger who remains.”
“I am the stranger who remains.”
Edit: they gave it a 4.5/5, I claim that as a victory
