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How I Define My Asexy-ness!
Ultimately, it seems to me there are far too many definitions, labels and boxes for everything and in the end it is exhausting. I hope one day we’ll simply be who we are, with no specific need to clarify our orientation, gender etc.
However, since we as a whole aren’t quite there yet, I won’t deny it does help me embrace myself and feel not alone to know that there is term that feels like me and that I am not alone in who I am and how I feel.
What I think many people don’t always get is that Asexuality is a scale much like any other orientation. Despite what the flag colours may tell you, it is not so black and white. Not for everyone.
Panromantic, Sex-Positive, Autochorrisexual, Asexual are terms that apply to me. Personally I am open to possibly engaging in some form of sexual activity with a partner if they wish it, and only if I love and trust them wholeheartedly. In all likelihood I wouldn’t want to do it often but I would try it to see what it would be like, because I will be with someone I love and the emotional intimacy of it would be worth the experience I think. However, at the same, I would be perfectly content in never having any form of sexual contact, it is not a particular desire or priority. I have the sex drive and arousal, but not the sexual attraction. I experience sensual, aesthetic and romantic attraction aplenty though.
Aces are just as diverse as the next group, a delicious multi-coloured cake of Asexy-ness! ;D
A FEW QUESTIONS FOR MY ACE (ASEXUAL) FOLLOWERS
I know I have a few and I would be really grateful if you would offer me your opinion on a couple things.
Firstly though, I’m an aspiring writer. So far I’ve only written fan fiction and a couple unpublished novels. Much to my chagrin I have trouble writing, for various reasons, so it often takes me a while to finish. However, recently I’ve been getting that itch to write a new novel, and I really really want to write one with at least an Ace protagonist. Since I myself am asexual and have only recently realized I was, after educating myself and talking with some wonderful people online. This is really important to me. Not just because I want to somehow incorporate my own experiences into writing, but also because there is a gross lack of asexual representation in the creative world, among other orientations and identities under the LGBPTQA umbrella, and I want to help to change that by creating my own work. I would like to make any story I write from now on as diverse and inclusive as possible.
I have two rough ideas for stories, both with Ace spectrum protagonists. Eventually I know I will get both of them down on paper, however I am undecided to which I should focus on first, and am wondering how I should incorporate my protagonists asexuality into writing. There are just so many ways I could go with this, and both of these stories are quite different and how their orientation effects the plot differs.
My questions are somewhat related to what I mentioned above. I know a lot of what I want to do, but even though a story is largely a personal experience sometimes, and in some ways, creating it - like raising a child - takes a village. Right now, Tumblr is my village (howdy all!) and I would like some opinions and maybe even plot bunnies to include!
Experiences you’ve had that you would like to see incorporated into a story, specific things you want to see represented, and anything similar/along those lines! Is there anything especially important you think should be included in a story involving at least one asexual character?
I suppose what I’m looking for is input, my own experiences will only take me so far, and though I like to think I am aware enough of reality and creative enough to bring it to life in a way that is true and heartfelt, I want to be as inclusive and realistic as possible with what I write when it comes to some things. I can look up ‘how to write this’ and ‘how to write that’, but personal experiences, desires and thoughts feel more valid to me in some ways.
So, to sum up, if anyone who follows me or checks out my blog on occasion is either Ace, knows someone who is Ace, or anyone I suppose, has any thoughts, ideas or feelings what they would like to see/feel should be in an Ace story...I am curious and want to know your thoughts!
Thank-you so much for your time Tumblr-rites! <3
So one of my best friends is getting top surgery today after a year of fighting with his insurance company and I'm crying because I'm so proud of him for making it this far. Good luck, Eric- you're going to look amazing afterward!