#lgbtparenting

[donttelllauren]

8/9, 7:36am

"do you want to come sit in the front with mommy? we're a little early" the miniature version of me climbs with her long legs into the passenger seat. her big blue eyes are curious and juvenile, they are naive and untamed observing and assessing taking caution and turning it inward wonderrrrrr where she got that from her eyes are darting but her body is still. she is not fidgeting, she's not messing with her fingernails or pulling at her clothes she's not twirling her hair or bringing hands to mouth she is simply wide-eyed taking it in figuring it out but she's nervous "it's gonna be a good day, baby." "I do not like those uncomfy beds." she's talking about the cots for naptime. it's her second day of pre-k and she is visibly upset about the quality of her sleeping quarters I want to laugh. she's a diva it makes sense to me. since the day I stood shaking in the hot upstairs bathroom (very) faint positive pregnancy test in hand it was my life's work to give her the ultimate comfort. luxury. the mercedes benz of wombs that's what I did and that's what I'll always do 4 pillows on her bed and all her stuffies too so, I could see why the cold hard plastic in a strange classroom on the floor next to some kid who you've never seen before would be kinda weird sleeping under tattered laminated cheap decor if I know my daughter she's not sleeping she's watching she's memorizing every picture on the wall and she will notice if anything is out of place from that moment forward the car door opens and a face she doesn't recognize is hovering over her small body and she is scared and she begins to cry I say, "is Miss B here? she's a little nervous" her teacher emerges and the tears dry and arms outstretch to this woman who I don't know and probably never will but I want to hug her too I want to say thank you for giving my child a safe space I want to say thank you for being the kind of soul she can trust because I can tell when she gets a bad read and I will take that kid's intuition over mine in a heartbeat and thank you for calling her baby like I do I feel pride washing over me, watching her learn how to trust because I feel like some kids never meet a stranger and when it comes to hospitality from my girl you gotta earn that kinda stuff

[thedoulagroup]

Safety in birth. What a concept. Emotional and physical safety is a requirement for every birthing parent. Talk to your childbirth educator or doula trainer for strategies to support all families. #pride #lgbtparenting #doulatrainer #childbirth #childbirtheducation #prenatalclass #pridemonth #pride🌈 (at Southern Ontario) https://www.instagram.com/p/CBdNrAgArVD/?igshid=3w7ia881kwc

[keosartadventures]

these are my babies - being a proud parent is one of the greatest things I have done. The thought of some asshole telling I can’t have children based on who I love is hurting my heart! 2020 has been nothing but heartache, sadness, nerve reckon, and fearful. I teach my boys love unconditionally, turn the other cheek, accept all, fight for those who can not fight for themselves, raise your voice when others can’t, respect adults (lately it’s been hard), respect the law, (lately it’s been hard), allow yourselves to cry, feel and find your voice. We try ..... it’s just been hard lately ... #parenting #lgbtparenting #kids #boys https://www.instagram.com/p/CBbQ7xlHGWQ/?igshid=xhihieaj0zpo

[thefostermoms]

#Fridayintroductions. Adoptive moms to Tiny (2.5) & Sweet (4.5). Foster parents to the boys' older sister, currently transitioning to her preadoptive home. Previous foster parent to the boys' older brother, also in his preadoptive home. Therapist mom is complex trauma expert, clinician & professor. Artist mom is former social worker turned web designer. We blog about the intersections of #transracialadoption #fostercare #LGBTparenting. We microblog our day-to-day here (IG) & aim to let our anonymous photos do the bulk of our storytelling. We are advocates for reunification, attachment-focused parenting & social justice. We keep doing what we're doing because we think it's important & that sentiment keeps getting reinforced by you all. We are so grateful for the positive exposure during #fostercareawarenessmonth. The heavy. In our home we are straddling two worlds. On the one hand we are a family of four who have not yet fully lived as a family of four since finalizing adoption last year. We are turning the corner toward that life & feel the seismic shift daily. We are worn. On the other hand we are transitioning our biggest kiddo into her preadoptive family & moving through our collective big feelings that come along with such a thing. We are knowingly separating siblings just as we knew at the onset this would be the outcome. But we remained steadfast & hopeful that the best possible outcomes would arrive for all 4 kiddos we have grown to love fiercely over the last several years. In the absence of their birth family and families of origin, whom we hope will show up if appropriate, we have stepped in to fill a lifelong gap through adopting from foster care. We say that not to toot our horns or raise our great white hope flags, but to state that we are here doin the work. Learning. Loving. Expanding. Through all that feels wholly unfair or otherwise, we stand here in the gap, holding our own individual & collective hopes for a future & a life worth celebrating in its many complexities & shades of beauty. Standing in awe of what people carry vs. in judgment of how they carry it. #twomoms #familieslikemine #motherhooduprising #joyfulmamas #adoption

[thenextfamily]

Raven-Symoné Asked Rick Santorum About LGBT Parents Raising Kids

Presidential candidate Rick Santorum stopped by The View on Wednesday and co-host Raven-Symoné had some questions concerning gay marriage and LGBT parenting for him.

Santorum explained that the gay marriage ruling contended that marriage has nothing to do with children and now we will not  “have a society encouraging the behavior that is in the best interest of children and the future of society.”

Of course, this did not sit well with Raven who then said, “I don’t understand why you feel like people in the gay and transgender community can’t raise a very beautiful, smart, and intelligent child just like a man and a woman, when sometimes, coming from a heterosexual family, there’s a lot more fighting, there’s a lot more stuff going on.”

“I don’t understand why you feel like that community can’t give and provide for that child just as well as a straight couple can.”

Click here to read the full story. 

[contemplativeurbanwitch]

lgbt issues

My MIL offered 100 dollars towards buying donor sperm for me and my wife. 

... aside from super awkwardness sperm is expensive when you don't get it from the source.

[solointhesand]

Oof.

Anxiety and depression are a mindfuck. I wake up this morning, go to work, come home, and my wife is sitting there swamped with a case of badbrain. Man. We were both talking yesterday about how it seems like she got through her period (which is when she tends to get depression/anxiety spikes) on a pretty even keel. But nope. Out of nowhere -- smack. It's hard not to feel reflexively guilty about asking for sex yesterday. She insists that had nothing to do with it, but we do it so rarely, and I ask for it even more rarely, that my own brain wants to get in on the anxiety action with "If I hadn't asked for it, would she still be feeling bad today? If I hadn't left her wanting, would that have made it better?" But I'm inclined to believe her. She assures me it's just one of those days, plus hormones, plus weather-induced sinus headache, plus she's nervous about having to see her family this weekend, and they always stress her out.

But we talked a bit and I managed to make her laugh and then she picked up the guitar and started working on exercises, so I'm hoping this is just a passing blip, and she'll wake up feeling more like herself again tomorrow. She's also talking about maybe picking a different career from the one she settled on a few months ago. Like that one, it would require a Masters degree, but it's in the field she applied to PhD programs in (and was rejected from, despite a summa cum laude BA degree, an 800 verbal GRE and more awards than you could shake a gilded badger at), and I'm a little worried about the heartbreak that might get dredged up again if she went back into the fray. It was really, really rough on her, the year after she got rejected, and I thought she'd mostly healed from that and moved on. But the Masters would be about working with high school age kids, whereas the PhD would be about going into the horrendously broken and exploitative university system. On the other hand, the career that she settled on a few months ago would be about working with adults, which somehow I think she'd be better suited to. But she might find the work itself less inherently satisfying or intellectually stimulating. I dunno. It's complicated.

She keeps dropping little crumbs and tidbits about the kid thing, and I do my damnedest not to pick them up, but they keep banging around in my skull. Today she said, "I was reading an essay by someone who said that one of the worst things about having kids is that you never feel the same way about your pets. You think you love them more than you can love anyone, but then all of a sudden the kid comes along, and they're demoted." And she looked at the cat with this fierce sadness. That sounds like bullshit to me. Why do you have to love your kid more than your cat? It's not a zero sum game. And a few days ago, she said, "Whenever you show me a picture of a tiny human, all I can think is how it's never a guaranteed smile the way it is with baby animals. I mean, sometimes they're cute. They're just not anywhere near as cute." A little later, she said, "I want to want to have a kid. I just don't know if I actually want to have a kid." But then a day or so after that, she told me how much she really did want to have a kid. And then today, just now, she brought up how, when we do have a kid (as if it's a foregone conclusion), she wants to have the patience to do chores with them, so they grow up feeling competent and responsible. So I'm getting mixed messages all over the place. I think I just have to give it more time, to see if she's able to make up her mind one way or the other. One thing that confounds it is that she finds groups of kids overwhelming and annoying and stress-inducing. Which... Fair enough. I don't feel that way, but I certainly get why someone would. But she's said things like, "If I can't volunteer to chaperone school trips, I don't deserve to be a parent." And how does that make sense? If the kid's got two parents, and one doesn't mind interacting with groups of kids, why is it a problem if the other one does? How does that make them any less qualified to parent their own kid one-on-one?

[solointhesand]

Two moms talk about how they decided to do elective IVF.

More in the She Got Me Pregnant series

A written account of the same story