Lilith in 10H Synastry
Lilith in 10H synastry is one of those synastry placements that can be really difficult and challenging, but also really rewarding. When the wildcard Lilith — the Queen bad Bee herself — meets the serious af 10th house, we get an interesting situation involving power plays and dynamics, public attention, admiration, stubbornness, and a need for control on both ends.
In the very beginning, there could be heavy career involvement between both people. For instance, they could meet at work, at a work convention, meeting, establishment, etc. Most of the time, the two people work in the same industry or have very similar career goals. Because this is Lilith we are talking about, there’s a level of power play here too. For instance, Lilith could be hired by the 10th house person, and then a scandalous affair happens. Or, the two of them are just co-workers. Maybe Lilith or the house is the others’ client, etc. Usually what brings the two of them together is not necessarily sex, though IF it is, it’s um, cough cough through paid services, if you know what I mean. This leads me to my next point: if they’re not their boss or coworker, they’re a mentor or an influencer or someone they just feel has more social status then them (this can be interchangeable - either lilith or house person could fit these roles). This could even be a sugar baby / sugar daddy/mommy kind of dynamic.
There’s a natural aloofness with this connection, and this is likely because both people are just fundamentally different. Lilith wants to roam free, do her big one on her terms, live life, etc. The house person thinks that is kind of stupid, and that structure, practicality, and being a reliable member of society is better. IN MY OPINION, if there’s an emotional disconnection between both people, it’s because they both feel like they have to suppress certain aspects of yourself and your identity, but we will explore of that in the house & lilith analysis.
This is a hard connection though, and it is because someone is always trying to “one-up” the other. At first, they may not even notice they’re doing this. It could be little things like going out of their way to do nice gestures for them, only for the other person to do something “grander”. Yes, there’s a level of competition, but its not always negative in every Lilith 10H synastry. Sometimes, the competition looks like pushing each other to new heights career wise, which is not a bad thing. But if they happen to be in a hard connection, this competition can pull the two apart, rather than bringing them closer together.
For the Lilith Person
I think it’s pretty obvious that the lilith person is extremely drawn to and attracted to the 10H person’s power, authority, and level of success and influence. They can find it incredibly sexy to be around someone with such power, because Lilith could really crave having that kind of power OR they could really want to give someone that power over them. To be clear, there’s really nothing submissive about lilith, but they find power in being admired, adored, showered with material items, given status, etc. So I think in ways, Lilith can become more of the “submissive” one in the dynamic, but it’s usually with ulterior motives.
In this synastry, I find that the lilith person is more… fluid with their physical preferences, OR, they just so happen to find the house person very attractive, even if that’s not their usual type. For instance, this synastry sometimes suggests age gap relationships. Maybe the lilith person has never dated someone 20 years older than them prior to meeting the house person. This is what I mean — their dating preferences, ideals, desires, etc., can sometimes not be met by the house person, but there’s still a deep level of magnetism and affection but it’s more tied to power and gain.
The Lilith person might always want to be with the house person, especially in public. For some reason, the lilith person could feel like being seen with the house person will elevate their own reputation in some way. But I also notice that lilith can be a little possessive here, so wanting to be seen in public could be more about wanting to publicly “claim” the house person.
Lilith is going to want to challenge the house person’s natural level of authority and their “perfect image”.
There is a lot of media examples here, but before any party poopers try to tell me that these couples do not share this placement… yes, I know, these are examples.
Most Scandelous:
Monica Lewinsky & Bill Clinton
In this case, Bill would obviously be the 10H person and Monica, the lilith person. After their sex scandal was made public, we all saw how Monica handled the situation. In very lilithian fashion, she exposed the truth of who he was — a power hungry man. She basically reshaped the way the world saw him, which is essentially what lilith does when scorned, betrayed, and abandoned.
Kim & Kanye West
Ugh, these two. Here, I’d definitely say Kim is the 10H person and Kanye's is lilith. He doesn’t respect boundaries, he is unpredictable. She’s all about her brand, keeping things under control, and this curated persona she’s trying to uphold. For years, we have watched him slowly disrupt her peace and order of things. She could not “control” her image being married to him, even though she tried really hard. The public, I feel, always clocked her and her drama. He even forced her to publicly address his scandals and “clean up his mess”. The Lilithian theme here is that lilith will take the power away from the house, especially with how they’re being perceived.
Essentially, Lilith feels very drawn to and seduced by 10H person, but I also feel there’s some rebellion in Lilith’s energy because lilith is only attracted to the ways in which syphons power — not the ways in which 10H person asserts power over them. The two people can really be ugly towards one another, and sadly, could lead to this desire to “publicly” expose them. IN MY OPINION, it’s always lilith trying to get the house person where it hurts. Sometimes it is for unnecessary reasons like to gain control. But there are times when the 10H person DOES go to far and can violate lilith’s boundaries.
In a darker manifestation, lilith will want to expose the darkness that is the 10H person. In this situation, the 10H person IS hiding behind a facade and lilith makes it her mission to expose the truth. Usually, that’s not the case, that’s just something you see here. Lilith can become obsessed with exposing the house person and ruining their reputation.
For the House Person
I feel the house person can feel very exposed around the lilith person. This has a lot to do with the fact that the two of them are very fundamentally different, so when the house person meets lilith it’s like a shock to the system. Remember, lilith is always a wildcard. Lilith will be the louder, more rambunctious, or flamboyant of the pair and I feel like this is a bit daunting for the house person who likes structure and order.
But there’s something very enticing about the lilith person that he house person just wants to… capture. There’s definitely feelings of possession on the house person’s end, which can slightly feel similar to the adoration of the 8th house, but different in big ways. The house person becomes obsessed with lilith’s beauty and magnetism, but not in a way that they want to own them. It’s more in a sense that they want to “wear” lilith on their arms all the time, or when it matters. They see lilith as like the ultimate sex symbol and could feel like lilith just makes them look good. In ways, both people are using each other for their own gain. For the house person, it’s definitely more about sex appeal.
The challenging part is how difficult it is for the house person to let go of some control. Lilith is not someone who can be controlled and honestly if 10H person tries, lilth usually reacts even worse. It can be very frustrating, and unless 10H person adjusts to the differences between the two of them, they will continue to be frustrated and slowly start to resent lilith.
I find that the house person is deeply fascinated by lilith and lilith’s life. This is because maybe the house person has had a very cookie-cutter vanilla life, and lilith has been through everything under the sun. It’s as though the house person really admires and adores how lilith has gotten through her darkness and hasn’t let it affect her confidence, grace, or beauty. I feel like the house person falls in love with lilth because of all of lilith’s complexities, even if they do not necessarily love the lack of submission. The house person also just gets addicted to the possibility of being seen by lilith in ways they never were, but they also get addicted to possibly being “ruined” by them. The house person will also just let the lilith person get away with things because they find them really hot lol.
Overall, I feel like this is a synastry that suggests heavy taboo themes (forbidden, age gaps, work relationships, transactional relationships, etc) and power dynamic struggles. In the best manifestation, there’s a strong sexual attraction that translates to real love and affection. This is a couple that grows together and challenges each other. It’s a couple that appreciates each other. Lilith will feel comfortable being her provocative self while giving the 10H person some power. 10H person allows Lilith who she wants to be, while proudly displaying their relationship.
In the worst manifestation, these two will totally shit on each other on public social media platforms, at work with coworkers, or just where others are looking. if there’s a strong sexual attraction, it’s usually just about sex and can leave both people feeling very empty and drained after. It’s public scanadals, it’s lying, stealing, scheming, thieving, etc.
This is not a doomed synastry aspect, it’s just challenging. The best advice when dealing with this synastry is to choose your partners wisely and maybe don’t pick someone solely based off of status and how being with them would serve you best?