#limnsaber

[randomfoggytiger]

Mulder after Diana’s been gone for >7? years: I’ve done okay without you, you know

Mulder after Scully is gone for three weeks after knowing her for a year: doesn’t eat, doesn’t sleep, displays greater suicidal tendencies than normal, stops at nothing to get her back, nearly kills a man

Perfection.

"I've done okay without you," to Diana in The End.

"I need you on this," to Scully in Fight the Future.

[dabeth-is-dead]

Jae please tell me your thoughts on how Scully’s worldview of “love is a competition” has affected her self-image and self esteem

Okay, so just to reestablish context for anyone not aware: I have previously stated that I think Scully's large family and frequently physically absent father that she idolized has lead to her perceiving access to love and affection as essentially a competitive sport that she can win, rather than just something freely given. I do want to note real quick that I don't think the Scullys intended this outcome, but it's very difficult to evenly share your time and attention with four children in the best circumstances, let alone for military families. When Scully was young, there literally weren't enough hours in the day for all of the children to get the attention they needed from their parents. And these circumstances tend to lead to one of two primary outcomes; either the child in question strives for perfection for the purpose of receiving praise, or they act out with inappropriate or even criminal behavior because negative attention is still attention.

Now we only know a little about her siblings, but I think we can infer some things. Bill took his role as the Junior to try and emulate their father; he followed in his footsteps closely with his career and life choices. Missy was a deeply empathetic free spirit who seemed to follow any passion that called her, disappearing for long stretches of time and seemingly not maintaining a long-term career. And then, of course, there's Charlie, about whom we know only that he left home and is no longer in any sort of communication with the family.

Early on, Scully's relationship with her father predisposed her to seeking perfection; she was his first mate, the Starbuck to his Ahab, which at least in her young mind made her feel special (which is good) and above her siblings to have earned the distinction (less healthy). And Scully is very smart so the odds are good that upon starting school and getting good grades she was granted even more positive parental attention, (parents do love to brag about how their child could become a doctor) reinforcing that idea that you get more love by doing better. And then she went to medical school because it's what her parents wanted for her, where she engaged in a romantic relationship operating on those same principles. Her professor notices how smart she is, and they start spending more time together, and they have an affair because she's distinguished herself from her peers. And after that blows up, she finally makes a decision for herself and joins the FBI, where she enters into yet another romantic relationship with her older instructor. As she works on the X-Files, she frequently displays jealousy towards those receiving Mulder's attention, particularly when those people are an intelligent and professional threat. So I think the evidence for that unhealthy relationship with affection is there and persists as the show continues.

Now, as to how this affects her relationship with the self, I think Scully's baseline self-esteem is based on the idea that if she isn't achieving highly, her worth is diminished. The times when Scully seems the most agitated (as I remember, I'm not double-checking right now) are when their work on the X-Files is stymied. During these, Scully isn't actively making a difference in fighting a global conspiracy, which feels much the same as failure to her, and Mulder is busy being too depressed to counteract her preconceptions. It also seems like this long history of living with the goal of winning praise from others makes Scully feel like her life isn't totally her own. She makes small rebellions when that feeling gets too suffocating (stealing her mom's cigarettes, all of Never Again, etc.) but she doesn't have a way out of the cycle. While Mulder's self-esteem is basically none and is entirely tied to The Work, Scully's is almost completely reliant upon the validation of other people. Which I think is tied to her need to be taken seriously. It's not just that Scully is a woman in male dominated fields, even in her personal life, she struggles with vulnerability and appearing weak. Pity and sympathy aren't praise. Therefore, to receive them means she is weak. It's a rather vicious self-fulfilling prophecy, to tie one's self-image to how they are perceived by others

[hinderr]

hinderr I just had a thought. does Grogu have milk teeth. He’s just a little baby carnivore. What would Din do if Grogu lost teeth

HI IM THINKING ABOUT THIS. If grogu lost teeth first time i think he'd freak out. Start blaming himself thinking hes the worst dad ever while also making plans on how to get grogu replacement teeth. Im not saying beskar dentals but like if the kids teeth are THAT fragile maybe something stronger wouldnt be the worst idea. Hes trying to figure out the logistics of that (while also resigning himself to a life time of forever chewing up grogus food a la mother bird) when the kids teeth grow back

Next time it happens (cause obviously theres a next time) dins like meh. Porridge for dinner. Ties the teeth up with a rope to make a sentimental little trinket he keeps on him (Grogu thinks its gross and embarrassing)

[mytardisisparked]

Ooo bat week!! May I have a bat? 🦇

Happy Bat Week!

Your bat is the Long-Tongued Nectar Bat (Macroglossus minimus)!

This bat, as the name suggests, feeds on nectar and fruit. Its long tongue allows it to lap nectar out of flowers when it decides to get lost in that sauce. Otherwise, it feeds on a variety of smaller fruits (which makes sense, considering it is the smallest member of the family Pteropodidae). They tend to be somewhat solitary outside of mating season, which is twice a year.

[frostbitepandaaaaa]

😭 💘 msr for the fic ask? <3

omg hello!!! thanks for the msr ask, friend-- nice little change of pace.

😭 A fic that ripped your heart out (but it hurt so good)

there are A LOT of these for msr, but the first one that comes to mind is Aquinnah by Anjou. it's not like... super sad or tragic in terms of how it ends, but there is something so dream-like and ephermeral about it. like what mulder and scully are learning and discovering in this story will not last. that everything must die. i mean, considering the inciting incident of this story, it makes sense. it might be because it's very mulder-centric, and there's something very tragic and yearning and achingly sentimental about mulder. it also doesn't hurt that the writing style is fucking gorgeous. somehow beautiful and tender but also incisive and moving.

any way, here's a snippet:

The cliff at the top of the moor has changed with time and erosion, but he is pleased that his imagination had not enlarged it so that it would now appear diminished by reality. He has not been here for years; even in his dreams, he has denied himself this place. Today, he has earned the right to be here, earned it by honoring his own vows. He turns before walking up the headland path to see her standing at the edge of the snow-covered moor, oblivious to the wind whipping the dried saw-tooth grass against her long overcoat. She seems small and unsure in this place that he knows best above all others, despite time and distance. He smiles and holds his hand out to her, waiting until she joins him before he walks to the cliff edge.

💘 A fic you couldn't stop reading once you started

this sounds cliche, but Iolokus by Mustang Sally and Rivkat. the way that fic is written is quite simply, mesmerizing, and the darkness explored in this fucked up world Chris Carter has created is facinating and they do such a good job rendering it. the opening lines of that fic make me insane:

And that day the hot wind blew down through the burning rocks, and over the ground of sand. The wind, a still breath of Hell, smelling of ovens, smelling of dust. A stray wisp of dust-smoke whipped along the gravel ground and curled at my feet as I stared into the sun. Above me, the sky was the color of molten bronze and a dark bird circled overhead. Behind me I could hear the women weeping. Knotted together beneath the metal sky, the women's faces were torn and wet.

Mybabymybabymybaby. My baby's blood. My baby.

[beskarfrog]

Perhaps one of black-cloak-walking-shadow Luke Skywalker?

YES, thank you for this excellent prompt! I'm not sure that this was what you had in mind, but I read black cloak and got v excited

[queeenpersephone]

hii stopping by to say I absolutely adore every single one of your x files fics <3 in this metallic silence in particular has a special place in my heart

omg hii!!! this is what i get for never checking my inbox lol i totally missed this, thank you so much!! <3 here's a little piece of something i'm working on, if you're interested. it's an au based on a movie called 'never been kissed'

warning: a 26 year old character berates themselves for thinking an 18 year old character is beautiful - but they're not actually 18, they're undercover ;) if that squicks you though, you won't like this <3

Fox Mulder’s life is good, albeit boring. His job is one he likes, but not loves. He knows where he stands with his students, his girlfriend, and his bimonthly calls to his mother. It’s enough. 

It’s a Tuesday, a cold, snowy day in February, second period AP Psychology, when everything changes. 

It’s rare that anyone knocks on the door to his classroom. He’s known as a pretty chill guy; his students slip in and out as long as they keep up their grades, and several students who are working on personal projects with his guidance come in at will during their free periods. He even has a cozy nook set up for them in the back of his classroom. 

Still, he calls for the unknown knocker to enter, and when he looks over to see who it is, his world goes a little blurry. It’s a young redheaded woman, perhaps a year or two younger than him, so mid-to-late twenties, an oversized, tan jacket thrown casually over her arm with wet patches where snow has melted. Her hair is a little tousled, and he spots the culprit easily: a beanie lying on top of the coat. Her posture is straight, her expression serious, and he immediately pegs her as some sort of black suit, government employee type. Only, she has a tote bag thrown over her shoulder, not a briefcase, with her car keys twined in her fingers. Mulder’s first thought is that she’s astonishingly beautiful. His second is that the abstinence motivational speaker is not due for another week. 

“Fox Mulder,” he greets as he strides over, reaching out his hand to shake hers. She returns the gesture with a firm, but warm, handshake. Her palms are shockingly soft. 

“Hello,” she murmurs, her voice low and deliberate. 

“You must be Pam. I didn’t think you were coming until next week, but I suppose I can let you do your thing a little early,” he rambles, not letting go of her hand. His class looks on with amusement. 

“Mr. Mulder-”

“Just Mulder, please. I can just head over to the teacher’s lounge -” 

“Mr. Mulder,” she interrupts firmly, and he can just feel his chances slipping away. He already feels like a bastard; Diana had asked him just last night to be exclusive, and yet he’s willing to risk it all for this beautiful motivational speaker who’s about to preach abstinence to his class of students who would never practice it.  

Her hand slips from his. 

“I think you have me confused with someone else,” she says quietly, fixing him with a small smile. “My name is Dana Scully. I’m a transfer student, and AP Psychology is my second period.” 

Oh no. He’s not a bastard. He’s just an absolute idiot and lecher that’s been eying his eighteen year old student. He feels a faint wave of nausea, swallowing hard.

Just then, her composure fades for a moment, and her eyes begin to twinkle. “But fair’s fair. You should call me Scully.”  

“Nice to meet you, Scully,” he manages to pull together in the wake of his blunder. She does look young, but not that young. He takes a brief moment to lock any thoughts of beauty away. Instead, he redirects: she looks sweet. A new student with a self-possession and a good sense of humor. “Welcome to AP Psychology,” he adds firmly. “I think I have an extra textbook if you haven’t been by the library-” He watches as she pulls the textbook out of her bag, sticky notes already protruding from the chapter they’re on, along with a recommended text that he’s sure no other student has even considered buying. She smirks at him, and he stops talking. “When’s the apocalypse?” He says dryly. 

“Depends on which culture you ask,” she responds, crisp and clear, and he swallows hard. His faint hope that she had been held back, and perhaps is closer to twenty at least to make him feel better about this own mind, fades away. She’s witty, quick on her feet, with an unusual spark of confidence and intelligence in her eye. There’s no way this girl would allow herself to fail a grade.

Pushing aside his thoughts, he directs her to an empty desk and rebegins his lecture for her benefit. “Okay, so as you all know, criminal psychology is not on the AP exam.” Groans circle the room again, but Scully just raises her eyebrow. “However, it’s what I studied in college, so we’ll do a fun unit to warm you guys up after Winter Break.” He pauses, scanning the room. “Any questions?” 

No one raises a hand, so he leans back on his desk, beginning the lecture. “Can anyone tell me what a serial killer is?” 

Monica raises a hand, and he calls on her. “Someone with a high body count,” she offers. 

Mulder chuckles. “Fair enough. And why do they do it? Any guesses?” 

“They’re clearly just evil,” Jeffery throws out without raising a hand. 

“Okay, Jeff,” he says, laughing internally at Spender’s face at his hated nickname. That’s what he gets by speaking out of turn, “that’s one theory: nature.” 

“Because they were hurt as kids?” Katie offers after Mulder nods at her to proceed. “Like they had a bad upbringing?” 

“Yes, also a possibility. It could also be a combination. How so?” 

Everyone avoids eye contact. “It’s okay,” Mulder smiles, turning to flip his projector on. “This is a little advanced-” 

“Neuroscience,” Scully says, and he stops short. Turning back to face the class, he gives his new student his full attention despite her speaking out of turn. 

“Go on,” he urges her, curious. 

Scully takes a deep breath. “From a neuroscientific perspective, it is hypothesized that the neural networks that encode for deviant fantasies follow a certain, unique pattern of activation. One hypothesis that has been posited is the pathological neural watermark hypothesis, which suggests that once a fantasy has been enacted, it becomes an autobiographical memory, which requires a specific pattern of activation, usually through exposure to a related item. This elicits an emotional response.”

Mulder just stares at her. 

“That's the reason why investigators, during interviews, hold with them items that they know will elicit the fantasy in the suspect, hence make it more likely for him to show deviant behavior.”

“Him?” John Doggett asks from beside her, clearly as awestruck as Mulder himself is. 

Scully treats his question seriously, turning to her classmate and speaking with a lecturelike, knowledgeable tone that Mulder has only heard from his college professors. “Current cases show that women account for between five to seven percent of serial killers,” she says. “In profiling, you might make an educated guess.” 

Mulder sits back on his desk but leans in, narrowing in on this new apparent serial killer expert. He tilts his head, and the rest of the room seems to fade away. “Well, Scully, when might you not rule out the possibility of a female serial killer?” He asks.

“When money or power are clear motivators,” she responds without skipping a beat. “Gratification and pleasure are likely to be much farther down on the motivation list for female serial killers than men,” she pauses here, the corner of her mouth twitching up as she pretends to ignore the awe of the boys around her for finding a way to bring up what's always on their minds in a high school classroom. “We females tend to take a more pragmatic approach to killing people off,” she adds, smoothing her face out until it is expressionless, though her words certainly suggest some fire. 

Mulder ignores the teenage twittering and laughter from the edges of his vision. “Are you saying women can’t be interested in... gratification or pleasure enough to kill for it?” He argues.

Scully scoffs. “I am not saying any such thing. I’m making a generalization. In reality, when time is of the essence to prevent an UNSUB from committing another crime, generalizations are appropriate. There are, of course, those who do not fit the pattern.” 

Mulder wants to push this new, fascinating student harder. He’s glad she’s brilliant and stubborn, because it makes all thoughts of how pretty she is fade for good. His thoughts from when she first stepped into his presence feel distant now, and he feels nothing but excitement to have someone who is willing to argue with him, to push back against him. He opens his mouth to continue, but he flinches at the sound of Principal Blevins coming over the intercom. 

“Will Coach Colton please report to the main office. I repeat, will Coach Colton please report to the main office.”

“It’s probably about that harassment charge,” Monica murmurs under her breath, and Mulder tells her to hush despite agreeing with her. 

“For those of you that are unaware,” he adds, carefully, “UNSUB stands for unknown subject. It’s a term used by the FBI to refer to an unknown perpetrator of a crime. How’d you come across it, Dana?”

“Scully,” she repeats, those for the first time, she looks discombobulated. There’s a color to her cheeks, and she avoids his direct gaze. “It’s a topic I’m interested in, I suppose,” she adds, and Mulder’s brows furrow at the small tell-tales of misdirection. But why would she lie about something so innocent? 

“Fair enough,” he offers, letting her off the hook, before turning to start the projector for the second time. This time, he’s successful.

“Okay, let’s talk about the nature versus nurture idea…”

[agent-troi]

Contributing to the Diana conversation in a slightly tangential way, I rewatched One Son last night and was ruminating about the scene in Diana’s apartment w Mulder and Diana for a while afterwards. I was particularly caught by Mulder’s description of fate. It seemed, to me, that while Mulder was speaking of the futility of fighting against destiny, of your choices being made for you so that in the end there is *no* other choice, that really what was being described was Diana’s motivations for working with CSM and his ilk. Diana knew way more about colonization than she let on and I was really fascinated that this might have been an indirect insight into her character. She asks Mulder: “Why futile?” He says: “Because there's nothing to be done. And at some point, you just have to accept that the only way those you love are going to survive is if you give up.” For all that happened, she did love Mulder. I have to think that these were her feelings. And when he expresses this, she kisses him.

yeah!! this is what i've always thought about diana and csm: they're both bad people doing bad things, but they genuinely believe in what they're doing and that it's not only the right thing to do but necessary for the greater good. they both also love mulder, in a deeply sick and twisted way that's filtered through their warped worldview. i tried to express with her backstory in my fic The Only Answer that she really believes that all the lying, and manipulation, and deception, and experimenting on people against their will, is the only way to ensure humanity survives in at least some form after the aliens take over (because she believes that's inevitable, too). she believes this so thoroughly that mulder almost gives up hope too, but scully saved him at the last minute. she pushed him to keep fighting, to rage against the dying of the light even thought it might seem like there's nothing they can do, and she showed him that diana and csm are wrong. resistance is not futile.