“Aww that’s so fun we have to, don’t you think Miranda?”
“Do we get to choose our own songs?”
“No what’s the fun in that?”
“Who’s going to be in charge of song selection then?”
“Who’s going to judge it?”
“Oy, one at a time delinquents! I reckon our Chloe n’ Inez can judge it.”
“Sounds good mum, they can choose the songs, folded paper in a bowl should do the trick.”
“What’s a lip synch battle?”
“Honestly Holly, if you’d stop sexting your boy toy for 5 minutes you’d be caught up.”
“And who are we going up against? If it’s just the one round”
“I choose Miranda!”
“Thanks Kam, what am I chopped liver?”
“Aww, don’t say that, you know I love ya.”
“Shouldn’t it be random, luck of the draw n’all?”
“No thanks mate, I choose Beth or the lot of ya can fuck off.”
“Oooh Beth are you blushing?”
“Aww that’s so sweet.”
“Is there anything you want to tell us about?”
“No, that’s quite alright, but yes I’m quite happy to be paired with Kitty.”
“I’m quite happy to be paired with Kitty— do you hear yourself?”
“Fuck off Yvonne, no one said owt to you.”
“I wish you would, I’ve got fifty quid riding on this.”
“You what?”
“We’ve got to amuse ourselves somehow.”
“She’s not wrong, I mean we’re caught in crosshairs while you eyefuck each other across every room you’re in.”
“Jess!”
“Did I say that out loud, sorry love, I’m plastered.”
“I’m getting tired of you riding my dick Yvonne— sorry Beth—“
“What did you bet?”
“Hmmm?”
“The fifty pounds, what did you bet?”
“If and when you two are going to start shagging.”
“For the record, I’ve got you down as completely platonic.”
“I called New Year’s.”
“My bet was you’d keep pining for eternity.”
“Since when is there a betting pool?”
“Pfft, Beth’s not gay.”
“Kitty’s not gay.”
“Do I have to remind everyone bisexuals exist, honestly.”
“Thank you Miranda.”
“Well, not that it’s any of your business what Kitty and I get up to, but I can assure you there’s nothing platonic about our relationship— not that there’s anything wrong with that”
“Knew it, they’re shagging like bunnies.”
“Perverts the lot of ye.”
“Aww, so you’re properly in love then. That’s so sweet.”
“We are, thanks Kam.”
“She’s the fucking love of my life, any other questions?”
“Awwwwwww—“
“Oohhh!”
“Get it, Beth!”
“Stop gawping Holly.”
“Are you a homophobe or sommut?”
“She’s probably just turned on like the rest of us.”
“Speak for yourself Yvonne!”
“I am, and don’t think I can’t see how dilated your pupils are Jess, fancy a go?”
“Right, Beth and I are headed home degenerates.”
“We’re the degenerates? You practically had a leg over. Thought you were going to take Beth right in front of us.”
“Not you and Kam, love. You’re both perfect.”
“Thanks Beth!”
“What am I then?”
“Nisha don’t pretend you don’t need a cold shower.”
“Since when is everyone gay?”
“Holly, honestly!”
“Peace out, come on love let’s blow this joint.”
“Easy tiger.”
