#liquid rants

[silverfelix707]

This wouldn’t leave me alone

Quick flat color single weight draw

Guess who is writing yet another fic no one asked for and couldn’t get the idea of cat!mari out of my head with a sword tail

Worse it wouldn’t let me write it until I drew it

Bonus! Cat merged with fox

Background is ibisx

[liquid-luck-00]

Todd = Fox 🦊

So you know how Drake is dragon and some give Tim the dragon miraculous.

Well I was looking up names for a male fox holder and one of the names meaning fox is Todd, Scottish btw.

Now imagine said male fox holder interacting with the Bat fam, meeting as heroes, and before introductions one of the Miraculous crew shouts Todd and they both answer.

IDK something to think about.

[liquid-luck-00]

Do you have an Ao3 account? If not would you consider making one, please?

I do have an Ao3 it’s Liquid_Luck

I really should cross post some time🤔🤔

I mostly only have Carbon Listing, which I am slowly posting here😅

[liquid-luck-00]

hi! If you get this, answer with three random facts about yourself if you feel comfortable! Then send this to the last seven blogs that are in your notifications. Can be anonymous or not! Let’s get to know the person behind the blog!

So three random facts okay so.....

I am a a complete night owl so all my work only gets done afterward the sunsets

I absolutely have a sweet tooth and will bake when stressed

To keep my art separate from my writing I use @silverfelix707

Now for the last seven on my notifications:

@kashlyn @fan-written @mochegato @lady-literature @m3owww @bunathebunny @rhinagatewaye

[liquidpinkandblue]

I'm upset

I'm upset because I'm working today. Yes that sounds selfish and dumb but hear me out. About 2 years ago my dad passed away, the last weekend I had with him on the last father's day I would ever have with him, I worked this exact type of shift. To top it off, we're still in a pandemic and I have to go observe teenagers who do not keep their masks on and are purposely obstinate. I don't know these teens,I don't have that kind of relationship to know how to talk them into keeping their masks on. On top of it, I still need my second dose of the vaccine, so I don't feel safe. I'm just upset and I don't want to do this and I'm scared and honestly this is the only part of the job that I deeply despise because it makes me so anxious. Lord help me because I can't do this alone.

[liquidpinkandblue]

The days are dragging on and in not 100% looking forward to what my future looks like. When I was a kid, I had this hope, this dream, that the future would be amazing. That by 30 I would have a load of great friends I could count on, I would be at an amazing job I loved, married, with a family and my dad would be living with me eventually after my mom passed because she always insisted she would die first. Now, one year and and 3 months after my dad's passing, I'm stuck at a job where I'm treated like an idiot, living with my mother, unable to date anyone I'm actually interested in freely, and feeling so ridiculously burnt out that I can't find anything to actually look forward to.

My birthday was a nice reprieve, I was taken out to dinner by one of my dearest friends and took an overnight trip to a cabin with my other friends. I cried twice because they reminded me they're there for me and they will always love me. The problem isn't them, it's not even my nieces and nephews who are all over me. The problem is me.

I feel shitty, I feel stuck and I'm kind of angry that there's just a bunch of stuff that steals my time every week. House responsibilities, helping kids with homework and internet issues and work. I'm miserable because even church stuff steals my time. I just want to rest. Why won't anyone let me rest? Even when I was at the cabin, the person running the rainbow community at my church was trying to guilt us into going to the meeting, which wasn't exactly an issue but it really pissed me off since she has been at home this whole time while I run around filming and attending church every week

<sigh> I'm just exhausted

[liquidpinkandblue]

One year today

It's been a whole year since the day my life changed forever. I went from someone who has everything, two loving parents who balanced each other out, a complete lack of financial worry, a place to sleep with moderate privacy and a dad who I could always count on for literally anything. Today, I lay here, on the bed that once was his, 14,000 dollars deep in debt, floundering, clinging to the last few bits of wisdom I can remember about how to run a household while my mother runs around like an angry chicken with her head cut off.

Life changes so quickly and you really can't make plans or they get spit right into your face. If you had asked me on June 23rd of 2019 what I would be doing today? I would have said I'd be attending school again, still still my old car and taking my dad to the movies with whatever small amount of money I was making at whatever menial job I took to survive life away from this house.

Every future I imagined as a child and as a teen had me living this life where dad and I hung out, watching movies, going out to eat and trading off on who paid. Eventually, he move in with me and would never have to worry about anything other than what he wanted to watch on TV or what new thing he might find at the 99 cent store.

Yet, here I am. I got stuck with the parent I hoped God would take first. She's the anxious one. She's the one who was barely functioning even before all this and she's the selfish one. The one who keeps asking me to be grateful for her lying to my dad so she could have me. The one who never particularly wanted me, she wanted the IDEA of me, not the reality. The one who had me believing that the God of love could hate me because of thoughts I could not control and for emotions that I never could grasp. This was not the future I wanted and I'm not seeing what could make it better.

I have nothing to look forward to, a combination of the pandemic and my new responsible have sucked all hope away from me. Was this how my dad felt? Am I becoming him? I'm so fucking tired and I pray when I have the energy to have a hint for where I should go next and how to deal with this weight and I feel like I get nothing. I almost hope they're right about this being the apocalypse because at least then I'll know I was right to give up on the future since the one I wanted el never come to pass.

[liquidpinkandblue]

My mom has had this strange view lately that's been bothering me. She keeps insisting that she "can't die" until after I'm married. Now, marriage used to be a big part of what I thought would make me happy, not because of anything other than "it's what you're supposed to do". Yeah, the romance seemed nice and having a person to come home to sound nice but I have actually sat with myself about it and I have come up with a view point that in Funai comfortable with.

To begin, I was always told that "as a girl" my job is to find a husband, procreate and spend my life raising these kids and serving this husband. I never like that view point. What I observed from my parents marriage was that mataste is two people choosing to live together, making an effort to acknowledge the hard work they do to keep their lives going and listening to each other and doing their best to fill needs. My dad never take about being in love with my mom (matter of fact he told me he stayed with her because of us, I was six) yet I feel like he did eventually for her and did his best to treat her with love and respect while still keeping some fun in his life.

For the longest I thought I wanted that. I sort of do, but it's not my goal and it's not my job. I've heard friends talk about relationships like that's all that makes them happy and has ever made them happy. I've heard them talk about how sex is great in these relationships. Some of the single ones talk about how they just wish someone would touch them. How an SO would make them feel complete. I used to think that but I don't think I feel that anymore. I haven't felt that since before my dad's passing.

I used to think a romantic relationship would bring me a person who would care about me, spend time with me and spoil me. Here's the thing, I have that, I had that with my dad spoiling me and it turns out my friends do that too. Since quarantine I've had friends who check on me literally every day. Friends who bring me food so I don't have to risk my health. Friends who I miss being affectionate with because we cuddle. Friends who heard what I wanted and chose to get out for me because I'm broke. I'm not even that interested in sex either so I think I'm set.

I'm not alone, I don't need romance, I just need to know that I'm loved and, if I really look at how my friends are with me, I can easily see that I am.

Thank you God for listening to my prayers at 13 years old when I was desperate for friendship and surrounding me with so much love that my family seems incapable of giving