#047 Being the Only Powerless Person On Your Team
Most superhero teams have a very similar “core makeup” so to speak. There’s the “flying tank,” usually the most powerful member of the team in possession of classic superpowers such as flight, super-strength and usually some kind of eye beam. Then there are usually a collection of more specialized heroes, speedsters, telepaths, someone with wings (there’s always someone with wings) some type of warrior-goddess woman, a wizard, maybe a space cop, sometimes there’s a talking animal, and so on and so forth. Then there’s usually the token guy or gal who doesn’t have any powers. They’re the odd man or woman out in the team, the one who wasn’t called upon by some Mayan deity or entrusted with ensuring the legacy of an entire planet, they’re the people who chose to be there. And yet, usually, they’re the weakest, the least qualified to deal with the myriad of threats that superhero teams are called upon to fight on an hourly basis. So how do you deal with being the powerless member of your superhero team?
Many powerless heroes seek to make themselves indispensable to their team in a non-superpowered capacity. They become the team’s scientist or their medic or the team detective (or the official bow and arrow guy of the team) or the guy who always brings the best snacks to the superhero picnics which are almost certainly a thing, they find themselves a niche or a skill that their compatriots are too superpowered to go out and learn for themselves (did you know that in some schools you can get a degree in always bringing the best snacks to picnics? [disclaimer: existence of such a degree may vary from university to university and from universe to universe]). If helping the team in a support role isn’t enough to scratch that crime fighting itch, then they’ll have to prove themselves to be capable of assisting a group of superhumans in a fight in a meaningful way. They’ll need to push themselves to their absolute limits. They’ll have to become a master of like a dozen different forms of combat (either hand to hand, weapons, or verbal) and also be able to simply keep pace with the time displaced super soldiers and literal demigods that populate the superhero word. What I recommend is either finding a hidden mountain society of ninjas that will happily and helpfully teach you everything you need to know, or sending me money so I can open up my own dojo and personally train you. (Four out of five doctors recommend taking the second option!) [Disclaimer: of the five doctors we polled only one of them actually went to medical school.]
Once you can actually keep pace with superhumans you need to make sure the people on your team actually respect you. Make sure that nobody is looking down on you because you can’t shoot webs from your armpits or break the sound barrier. When you first start out you should never allow anybody make fun of you for your lack of powers. Once you become well established as a competent hero then sure let the jokes flow in, it might be better if rivals underestimate you anyway. But at the start of your career you can’t allow that to become a thing. Additionally, you should never call attention to the fact that you don’t have any powers and you certainly shouldn’t use your lack of powers as a crutch or excuse. Show your teammates that you’re more than capable of keeping up with them all on your own. Spar with them. Eat with them. Join them in danger simulations. Even sit in on games of “What can you shoot from your eyes,” and when they get up to you don’t say something lame like “tears” just give everybody a death glare until somebody timidly says “daggers” and they move on.
Once you’ve earned the respect of your teammates you need to turn your attention outwards, towards the supervillain community. Something token-non-supers need to be aware of is the severe lack of intimidation factor they have. Your teammates are all more than capable of striking fear into the hearts and minds of bad guys. They fly and shoot beams from their fists and they routinely surf on asteroids and some of them have parents in the Greek pantheon, that stuff is scary to the average bank robber or swamp monster. All you can do is kick pretty good. That’s not nearly as scary. Sure it’s still like a little bit scary. Nobody wants to be kicked. But I don’t know if anybody actively fears being kicked in the way they actively fear being struck down by Zeus. Now, what you need to do is make up for this lack of eye lightning or visible horns through sheer force of personality. Be boisterous, be rude, be obnoxious, and don’t take any nonsense from anybody. Not even the literal devil (not to be confused with the Literal Devil who is a c-list supervillain who annoys everybody by taking everything completely literally) himself. Once a grainy cellphone video of you mouthing off to a very evil and very angry giant,p planet-eating, super robot goes viral you can be sure that no supervillain is ever going to disrespect you ever again. But large levels of sass alone won’t do the job. You need to make sure you can at least partially back up your attitude with shrewd combat preparedness and quick thinking. Once you successfully defeat a supervillain who on paper should’ve squashed you beneath their heel, you’ll have cemented yourself as a valuable and respectable member of your team.
Some people are blessed with superpowers, others are not. Regardless, you shouldn’t allow your life and career to be dictated by chance. If you want to go out and save the world via punching criminals then go do it! Just make sure you’re prepared. The life of a non-powered hero can be dangerous. Many of them die. But if you get yourself placed on a team, if you earn a spot on a team. You’ll be given the opportunities many non-powered people only dream of. So get out there, find a city of martial arts masters, look up a bunch of insults online and get out there and save the world!
