How do you get over the embarrassment of being seen through your fiction? I have a hard time writing because i don't want people to know
I want you to imagine me removing the spectacles I don't wear, squeezing the bridge of my nose, and reaching across the table to pat your hand.
The terror of being seen rubbing against the desire to share and connect with others is the friction at the core of the artist's life, or any life, perhaps. It's pretty inevitable, and sometime terror outweighs desire, simple as that. But you only face the fear through doing it (assuming you can do so without jeopardizing your physical safety or core relationships) and getting through it. Like, the embarrassment won't kill you, but it will probably feel like it might to someone who has never put themselves out there like that. Embarrassment fades fast, though, especially when your work reaches the intended audience. Connection ultimately trumps shame, every time.
I was TERRIFIED of writing my first f/f romance in Robbergirl in 2018. I felt too raw, too exposed, and like I was going to be Capital S Seen by everyone. And then as soon as it was done I realized how good it felt, and how authentic and alive my writing was, and now I regularly write sapphic romance and queer romance writ large. I'm glad I did it, and I would do it again. Revealing part of myself, the vulnerable part of myself, allowed other people to be vulnerable with the material in return.
Here's the secret: most people are not paying that close enough attention to every single callback, motif, and allusion in your work and cross-referencing it with what they know about your life. Most of the time, people are most concerned with themselves, and what the story makes them feel or reflect on in relation to their own lives. And thank God for that.