#livefromtheden

[cutie-chimera]

My dog ate my edibles. After taking all possible health precautions. I can't help but laugh at the situation my dumb boy put himself in. And also feel bad cause the dude is stooooooooooooooooned.

[cutie-chimera]

Today, i soft opened my own fitness studio and martial arts school. And it went so fucking well. I already have people signing up, and my first official day isn't until the 16th.

I am in shock. And so fucking grateful for all the people around me that helped make this happen for me.

Its crazy how fast life can change

[cutie-chimera]

That femme life 💖

[cutie-chimera]

As I am coming out of my latest dysphoria/ptsd/ burnout/ hellscape. I have been thinking a lot about how I view myself and what beliefs I am letting hold true in my head.

A large part of my dysphoria comes from a lot of my formative really fucking up my concept of what is and isn't attractive, my self image, and self esteem.

I knew going into my transition that I was never going to be the tiny 90's model the young girl inside of me so desperately wanted to be.

What I hadn't really accounted for is how entrenched that image of myself as a 5 foot nothing girl was informing my sense of self-worth.

At some point during my transition, my feeling good about the changes became less about what I am gaining and instead on what I don't have.

Between stress, disorders, and the state of the world. I let my mental patterns slip back into defining myself by what I am not. By how I am not woman enough.

The thing is... I don't even want to be that image I am comparing myself to! So yes, dysphoria, you are fucking correct. I am not a 5ft 100 lbs patriarchal/ white supremacy standard of what is fuckable.

For once, and from now on, I am going to talk about what I am. What I am is a god damn warrior woman. I am 5'8" 195 lbs with 42.5% muscle mass, and 20% body fat mass.

I can bench my body weight. I can squat and deadlift well over it. I run an under 7 minute mile and have a 46" vertical jump.

I have the body of a professional athlete, and I use it to practice Hung Gar Kung fu and have literally broken people's bones by blocking their attacks.

And I do it all while looking like this:

Am I the hottest woman in existence? Of course not. But what I am is pretty damn good for coming out of a 33 year old 300 lbs man.

What I am is a self-made woman who uses that strength and knowledge to better her community. What I am is so much more than I am not.

And ya know what? Still pretty damn fuckable if I say so myself 🤭

[cutie-chimera]

Week 4 of operating a business, open and proud of my transness and queerness. That is apparently all it took to start having local trans youth reach out about coming to classes.

I am so fucking happy right now. Come to me babies. You are so fucking safe here.

[cutie-chimera]

Today, I injected my hrt fresh out of the shower. My skin was still warm from the heat of the water. Still delicately soft from the oils.

My hair wrapped up neatly in a drying towel. My fuzzy bath robe hanging open over my exposed leg.

I couldn't help but smile at myself and how far I have come... Euphoria arrives at the strangest times.

[cutie-chimera]

Just me in my bra and panties disassembling my pc on the living room floor. Carefully unboltening, decoupling, and placing her parts around me.

Don't worry sweetie il make you all better 💖

[cutie-chimera]

This is your friendly reminder: It's not only morally correct to steal from corporations. It also makes you sexy af.